


His Hufflepuff ; Fred Weasley

by Stylesobsession



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alpha Fred Weasley, Cheating, Drama, Drama & Romance, F/M, Family Drama, Hogwarts, Love, Magic, Romance, Sex, Teen Romance, Teenage Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:41:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 99
Words: 137,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29352876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stylesobsession/pseuds/Stylesobsession
Summary: "𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗'𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞."
Relationships: Fred Weasley/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

**Sophie Cookson as Julie Evangeline Pegas**

  
  
  
**Lily Collins as Melbourne Eversteen "Melba" Striker**

  
  
  
**Penelope Mitchell as Calliope Cheyenne "Callie" Dendron**

  
  
  
**Charlie Gillespie as Seth Ackley Doe**

  
  
  
**Owen Joyner as Nathaniel Alastair Twig**

  
  
  
**Jeremy Shada as Jesus "Nick" Crane**

  
  
  
**James and Oliver Phelps as Fred and George Weasley**

  
  
  
**DISCLAIMERS** **(READ!!!)**

**1\. I do not own any of the recognisable characters of this story and that goes with the whole Harry Potter universe as well. All credit goes to J.K Rowling, though I do not support her or her "views".**   
**2\. This story does not follow the original storyline. Things are different and Remus Lupin never left his position as the DADA professor.**   
**3\. I do not recommend reading this if you are under the age of 13 or simply sensitive when it comes to sex, talk of sex, alcohol, smoking of any kind and foul language as those are all things that will appear throughout the story.**   
**4\. Be aware that** **_yes,_ ** **I did in fact use my own name for the main character. Though only her first name, her birthday and her Hogwarts house.**   
**5\. Also, be aware that the story will contain typos. Some might be hilarious seeing as I tend to accidentally write 'love' instead of 'live' and in my other Weasley fan fiction, that made quite a few people laugh. I'm a fast typer, meaning I may or may not make more typos so just be aware of that when you start writing.**

**Enjoy ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

Do you remember that one silent kid in your class? The one you never heard say more than three words in a sentence. The one everyone saw as weird.

That was me. I was this shy innocent Hufflepuff girl who was scared of the attention. Sure, I was in a friend group with five other Hufflepuff kids that were all very loud and I _did_ play on the Quidditch team but I wasn't very confident, only when _he_ played on the other team. He always found a way to make me loosen up, make me feel more confident. He brought out the competitive side in me and when we started dating officially, I slowly gained more and more confidence.

Eventually, I could sit in front of class, I could raise my hand to answer a question and I could even help prank some teachers without being scared of getting caught. I had more fun that way.

I loved him. Bloody hell, I still do. He cheated on me at the end of our sixth year. He slept with this girl from his own house. Fucking Angelina Johnson. She's also on the quidditch team so they play together. He fucking slept with her and I found out after I had caught them kiss in an empty corridor. He and I got into a fight, I yelled, he yelled and I asked if they slept together... he said yes.

My name is Julie Evangeline Pegas. I was born in Glasgow, Scotland to my parents Ted Pegas and Annie Rivers. My mum's a Muggle and she took off a few weeks after my birth. She hadn't known about magic, hadn't known about my fathers status as a Pureblood wizard. When she found out, she first thought he was crazy, then when he proved it, she ran. Left me behind because I was going to be a witch so dad raised me on his own while having his career as an Auror.

When I turned eleven, I got my letter and I was so excited. A few days before September first, dad and I visited Diagon Alley to buy the stuff I needed.

I met Nick Jesus Crane and Seth Ackley Doe on the Hogwarts Express. We sat together and became really close friends. We all came from families that were mostly Hufflepuff and when we got to Hogwarts that night, all three of us got _sorted_ into Hufflepuff.

When we sat down and everyone had been sorted and the feast began, we met Nathaniel Alastair Twig, Callie Cheyenne Dendron and Melba Eversteen Striker, the other part of our group.

We're a group of six which means chaos but I love every single one of them. They're so supportive, though Nate and Callie are a bit high on PDA. They just randomly start snogging each other in the hallways. They started dating in our fifth year, around the same time that I started dating Fred.

He asked me out after Hufflepuff had just won a game against Gryffindor. He congratulated me and then he just blurted out the words. He asked if I wanted to go on a date with him to Hogsmeade.

I never thought he would cheat on me. Ruin everything he had. Though I should probably have seen it coming. I'm a Hufflepuff. Most people hate us, think we're softies. Nothing but softies. Of course he chose a fellow Gryffindor over me. Of course he chose to cheat on me with Angelina fucking Johnson.

"Jules?" Seth's voice pulled me from my trance, making me look up at him. He extended his arm, offering to take my bag and I handed it to him before he pushed it up onto the luggage rack. "Are you okay?"

He looked at me and I simply nodded, offering a faint smile as I sat down on the opposite seat from where Nate and Callie sat.

"Nate!" Callie groaned as she tried pushing him away by his shoulder. "You are taking up all the space!"

"I'm sorry that my legs are so long!" He argued in a dramatic way. "Stop pushing me!"

"Oh my fucking god!" She yelled but shortly after she shrieked as Nate stood up and pulled her with him. He then sat down where she had been sitting. "Seriously? Now you take my spot?"

He smirked as he leaned back against the wall and pulled a leg up, lying it down along the seat. "I'm not taking anybody's spot."

He grabbed her hand and pulled her down to lie against him, between his legs and with her back against his front, then he closed his arms around her stomach. "Better?"

"Much." She said with a smile, leaning her head back against her chest.

That used to be Fred and I. That used to be us cuddling, kissing, hugging. Being all affectionate.

"Stop sulking." Seth told me as he let himself drop down next to me. He wrapped an arm around my neck as he poked my cheek. "He doesn't deserve you. Never did and he's definitely not worth sulking over."

"Shut up." I muttered, throwing my head back before turning it to look at him. I pouted. "I'm heartbroken, Seth. My hearts broken in like... six pieces."

He laughed before he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"Marry me if we're both thirty and single?" I asked, holding up my pinky finger. He watched me for a short moment, then hummed and wrapped _his_ pinky around mine.

"Awh look at the beautiful couple!" A voice sang and all four heads turned to watch Nick and Melba enter the compartment at the same time. "You two should totally date."

"Fuck off." Seth and I said in unison while I flipped him off.

"Oi! Don't be rude!" He exclaimed while Melba threw her bag up on the rack, then sat down next to Seth. "Dudes. Move? You two are taking up the entire seat."

"Sit over there." Callie pointed at us.

"There's not room for four!" Nick objected. "I am not sitting _that_ close to those three for six fucking hours. Now, move!"

Nate and Callie groaned as they made a little room for Nick, though they stayed in position.

"What's got _your_ knickers in a twist?" Seth asked Melba who hadn't said a word.

We all looked at her as she sat there with her arms folded over her chest, staring right ahead.

"Fucking Marino." She scoffed. "I swear to Merlin. I know people say they hate their brothers but I _hate_ him."

"What did he do now?" Callie asked with a chuckle escaping her lips.

"He stole my pancake."

Silence.

Then laughter. We all started laughing. Well, except from Melba who apparently thought it was the most serious thing that her older brother stole her pancake.

"What?!" She yelled. "You know how much I love pancakes and that was mine and he just stole it! I'm never eating breakfast with him anymore!"

Melba grew up with four brothers. Her parents are Barrow and Dixie Striker and they had Melba's oldest brother Billy in 1974. Then they had Juniper in 1975, Marino in 1977, Melba in 1978 and Brighton in 1980.

Callie has two brothers. Lorenzo who was born in 1978 which is the same as her. They are twins and then they have a younger brother named Kale who was born in 1981. They're parents are Barney and Olivia Dendron.

Then there's Nate. Son of Christopher and Fairy Twig. Nate has one sister. Cordelia. She was born in November of 1983.

Nick is the son of Myron and Danika Crane. They had two sons. The oldest is Ember who was born in 1970 and the second is obviously Nick who was born eight years later.

The youngest in our group is Seth. Though he's technically only a day younger than me, we still love to tease him about it. His dad is Lucian Doe and his mum is Olevia Doe. Seth has two younger sisters. All three were born a year a part. Seth is the oldest, born on June thirteenth of 1978, then there's Cassia, born on August second of 1979 and lastly there is Lucille who was born on May eleventh of 1980.

"It's just a bloody pancake!" Nick laughed.

"No no no." I hurried to say. "Don't you remember three years ago at the welcome feast? Nate took the last bite of her pancake and she went absolutely crazy and got herself a week of detention for making his nose bleed."

"Ohhh that hurt like a bitch." Nate spoke, remembering that day in our fourth year. "You do throw a great right hook, Mel. I gotta give you that."

"Thank you." Melba now smiled as she sat up straight. "But seriously. Does anyone want to kill him with me?"

"No thanks." Seth hurried to say. "He scares me. All your older brothers does. They're all so fucking tall and muscular. They could poke me in the shoulder and I'd tip over."

"Stop being so dramatic." Callie frowned, sticking out her leg to push his knee with her foot. "I could totally bang Billy if I have to be honest."

" _Excuse_ me?" Nate asked and she turned her head to look at him.

"No no. I mean, I totally would if we weren't together." She said and kissed him. "I'd never cheat on _you,_ baby."

Cheating...

Ouch. I felt a sting in my chest and as the train started moving, I looked out of the window. She probably _would_ never cheat on Nate... but my boyfriend had no issues cheating on me.


	3. Chapter 3

"I'm just saying that I wanna get drunk!" Nate explained as we were walking towards the carriages. He had his arm thrown around Callie's neck and my arm was intertwined with Melbas. "Is that too much to ask?"

"You better now have any alcohol hidden in that bag of yours." Callie said. "If you get caught with it on school grounds, you'll get expelled."

"So I'll get expelled." He joked but his smile faded as soon as Callie glared up at him. "I'm joking, I'm joking! Don't worry babe, I've got no alcohol with me. I'll just have to brew some myself to get drunk."

"Don't you dare." Nick told him. "If you get expelled, we lose our keeper."

" _That's_ what you're worried about?" Nate argued. "That you'll lose your keeper?"

I think one of the reasons the six of us are bonded so well, was probably our love for quidditch. We're all on the Hufflepuff quidditch team.

Nick and I both tried out for the team at the start of our second year and we got the positions as chasers.

In our third year, Melba decided to tryout and got the position as one of the beaters. Year later Callie got the position as the second beater.

At the start of our fourth year, Nate and Seth both tried out. Nate became the new keeper and Seth became the third chaser.

Now, we're all seventh years on the team. Our seeker and team captain is Cedric Diggory. He usually gets tired of us. I mean, he is the captain of an entire team of best friends who act like fucking donkeys sometimes.

"Oh look. The carriage is about to leave!" Nick spoke as he rushed over to hold it so we could get on. Melba let go of me and got on it first, followed by Seth and when I stepped up, he grabbed my arm, pulling me the rest of the way. I shrieked as I almost tripped but Seth got a hold of me and we laughed together as we sat down.

Though my laugh quickly died when I saw who was across from me. Oh crap. Fred sat right in front of me, staring back at me with his twin brother on one side and Angelina on the other.

Nick sat down on the other side of her while Nate sat beside me with Callie on his lap.

The carriage started moving.

"You've got to be kidding me." I blurted, not taking my eyes off of him and neither did he.

"Well this just became a whole lot awkward." Nick said, earning a kick from Melba which made him yelp in pain.

"Julie, right?" Angelina asked with a smile as she extended her hand. "It's nice to officially meet you."

I didn't answer and I didn't shake her hand. She knew what she was doing. She knew she had been the home wrecker. The person who ruined my relationship to Fred.

"Angie, don't." Fred whispered but loud enough for me to hear.

"What? I'm trying to be polite."

" _Were_ you trying to be polite when you _fucked_ my boyfriend?" I asked and finally ripped my eyes away from Fred to look at her.

Seth clamped a hand over his mouth to not laugh and Nick did too right after he actually _did_ let out a laugh.

"I like this." George spoke with a smirk on his face. When Fred cheated, he was one of the first people to come see if I was okay. Told me he had spend hours yelling at his brother for behaving in such a disgusting way.

"I don't." I spoke and looked at Fred again. The only reason I acted like this. Acted tough, was so that I didn't break into tears. "Oi! Callie. Watch out. Johnson may try to fuck your boyfriend."

Then I looked at Angelina. "Or maybe you should watch out. Once a cheater, always a cheater, right?"

"Quit it, Jules!" Fred snapped, causing me to look at him again. "What are you doing?"

"I'm not doing anything." I shrugged and leaned forwards, placing my elbows on my knees and resting my chin in my hands. "The worst thing, Fred... was that you told me you loved me."

He sighed, closed his eyes for a minute before he opened them again to see the tears starting to form in mine. "Can we not do this here?"

"If you love someone—" I said. "You don't cheat on them. If you want to cheat, you set them free. You should've set me free. Dumped me. That would've been so _much_ better."

"You know, she's not wrong." George said, agreeing with me. "That was a real dick move."

"George... mind your own business." Fred told him but his eyes never left mine.

_I hate him._

_I hate him._

_I hate him._

Though I tried convincing myself that I did, I really didn't. I loved him so much but he hurt me and I wasn't going to forgive him. Not that I'd ever get him back even if I chose to forgiven him. He's with Angelina and he chose that. He wants to be with her.

Why did we have to get on this carriage? Couldn't Nick fucking have seen that he was sitting there?

No... couldn't I have seen it? Couldn't I just have looked up from the ground for once and paid attention to my surroundings?

"You look like you could use a cigarette." Seth said as he handed me one he had just lit. I happily grabbed it and made eye contact with Fred again as I placed the cigarette between my lips and inhaled.

_"You're smoking now?" He asked with a tone of disbelief as he walked out into the courtyard to see me hide behind a wall. "Since when do you smoke?"_

_"Shit." I cursed, the smoke leaving my mouth before I crouched down and put it out on the ground, then put the remaining of the cigarette back into te pack. I looked up at Fred as I stood. His arms were crossed over his chest and he didn't look impressed._

_"You do realize how bad that is for your health, right?"_

_I sighed. "I'm sorry you don't like it."_

_He laughed and stepped closer as he shook his head at me._

_"It's not that I don't like it. It's that I hate it. Hate cigarettes, tobacco. It kills you."_

_"Everything can kill you, Freddie." I smiled. I then took a step towards him and leaned up to wrap my arms around his neck after having pushed my cigarettes into the pocket of my trousers. "Kiss me?"_

_"No." He smiled faintly. "Not when you've just been smoking."_

I exhaled the smoke and it went straight into Fred's face but he kept a straight face. He hated when I smoked but now we weren't together anymore so he didn't have a say.

"Very mature." He said and in response I simply shrugged before inhaling again. I wanted to hate him. I wanted to hate him _so_ bad but I just couldn't. I loved him more than anything and I hated myself even more for it.

"C'mon, baby." Angelina intertwined her arm with his but he didn't take his eyes off of me. "Just ignore her."

_Baby._

Fred hated being called that. I could even see it on his face. That little nose scrunch he automatically did when he found something repulsing. He hated that she called him baby. He hated _being called_ baby.

I used to call him that just to tease him because I knew how much he hated it. Then we'd laugh together. I'd laugh because I loved teasing him and he'd laugh because even though he wouldn't admit it, he loved that I did tease him.

As soon as we reached the castle, I was the first one to get out of the carriage and I walked as fast as I could towards the entrance closest to the Great Hall. My friends quickly caught up with me.

"He's just being a dick." Callie told me. "Don't let him get to you."

"I'm much more annoyed by fucking Johnson." I said. "Who the fuck does she think she is? He doesn't even like to be called baby. He hates it more than he hates losing to Slytherin, and he _really_ hates losing to Slytherin."

"Just forget about him." Seth said. "Forget about Fred and forget about Angelina. They deserve each other, really. For now, let's just go get something to eat and let's get our last year started."

"We need to enjoy it." Nate then said. "Our last year. Can you believe it, guys? One more year and then we move on to our career choices. That's crazy to even think about."

"I'm going to be the best Auror out there." Melba explained. "I'm going to beat up all the bad guys and be so famous. More famous than Harry Potter himself."

"No one's more famous than Harry Potter." Nick replied. "And you have to get accepted into the program before you know whether or not you can be an Auror."

"Oh shut up, Jesus."

"Don't call me Jesus! You know I hate that!" He argued. Melba started walking faster up the stairs while Nick followed as the two argued about his name.

Nick is actually his middle name. His parents names him Jesus and it's not pronounced as _'Hesus',_ his name is actually _Jesus._ Though he hates it more than anything so everyone calls him Nick. When he introduces himself, he uses Nick and if anyone for some odd reason asks for his middle name, he uses Jesus.

So his actual name is Jesus Nick Crane. We all love teasing him about it, through we also use it against him in an argument like Melba just did.

"I know you probably hate Fred." Callie said as I now walked closer to her and Nate with Seth on my other side.

"Probably? That bastard fucked Johnson and didn't even explain himself. All I got was a _sorry."_

"Right." She nodded. "You still love him, don't you?"

I looked at her and narrowed my eyes at her. "Of course I do. We dated for nineteen months. That's not something I can _just_ move on from."

"Of course not." She said with a little smile. "Just so you know. He loves you too. Never stopped."

"Don't be bloody ridiculous." I laughed. "He chose Johnson over me."

"No, I think she's right." Nate said as he nodded.

"I could sense it too." Seth explained. "There was so much sexual tension between you and the way he looked at you... he still loves you, Jules. Whether you want him to or not."

I sighed.

"I don't care." I said, holding up my hands in surrender. "He made his decision to cheat and he stayed with her. _His_ choice, not mine. Even if we did get back together, I wouldn't be able to trust him the same."

Seth threw an arm around my shoulder as we tried catching up with Melba and Nick. "Don't worry, Jules. We'll stop mentioning him. Even though we're speaking the truth."


	4. Chapter 4

"I swear to Merlin Jesus, if you don't get your hand off of my pancake, I will rip your throat out!" Melba exclaimed, causing the entire Hufflepuff table to go quiet for a moment before the chatter started again.

Nick frowned at her but pulled his hand away and Melba then took the last pancake on the plate before it filled up again and Nick could grab one himself.

"I told you to stop calling me that." he muttered. I took a bite of my croissant as I stared at the Gryffindor table. Angelina sat next to Fred with her arm over his shoulder and hiss arm around her back. I felt a sting in my chest and my blood boil. Seeing them together made me so angry. Yes, I was jealous but was that so weird? She stole him from me and he let her. He didn't love me. He never loved me. If he did, he wouldn't have cheated.

"Alright, so what're we thinking?" Nate said. "Are we winning our first match against Ravenclaw or are we winning the first match?"

"We are totally going to win!" Seth cheered and their palms met in the air above the table. "We'll win against them all. We start with Ravenclaw in November, then we beat Gryffindor in March and lastly we are going to absolutely smash it when we play against Slytherin in April!"

"Don't be so cocky." it came from Cedric who sat a few spots further down the table. We all looked at him as he reached for some bacon. "We lost two of the games last year so if you really want to win more _this_ year, you have to put in the work."

"What do you mean, Ceddie?" Seth asked with a playful grin and I couldn't help but snicker at the choice of nickname. "We _always_ work _so_ hard at practice."

"Sure." Cedric nodded slowly. "Let's go with that."

Seth turned towards the rest of us. "We work hard, right?"

 _"I_ work hard." Melba said. _"Jules_ works hard. The rest of you... _nah."_

"What do you mean by _nah?"_ Callie scoffed. "I work hard too."

"You know what?" Melba smiled. "You do. You're right. You _do_ work hard. Hard with your tongue down Nate's throat."

Nate broke into laughter, quickly clamping a hand over his mouth and a small smile appeared on my face. I loved my friends so much. Especially with comments like that. They always made me happy. They made me forget about my heartbreak. Sometimes I was reminded but other times, I'd laugh with my friends and all my worries would disappear.

"You're such a meanie." Callie said and reached over the table to shove Melba in the shoulder. _"Such_ a meanie."

"I know I am." Melba responded. "But I'm allowed to be. I'm gay."

"Okay you can't use that every time you try and defend yourself." I said with a smile as I took another bite off my croissant.

"Yes I can." she argued. "I can... because I'm gay."

"Wow, here we go again." Seth spoke as a faint chuckle rolled off his tongue. He shook his head at Melba before he ate the last piece of his pancake.

My eyes flicked back to where Fred sat but this time he was looking back at me from over his shoulders. Our eyes met and I quickly looked down, picking up my glass of pumpkin juice and took a sip. When I looked at him again, he had turned back around and was in some deep conversation with Angelina where they smiled, laughed and looked oh so _fucking_ adorable.

"You know what?" I asked. "I cannot _wait_ for Quidditch practice to start. We _need_ to beat Gryffindor in March."

"That's the spirit!" Seth smiled. "We are totally going to win if you use that anger in the pitch."

I didn't respond. I looked towards the Gryffindor table and my blood started boiling again at the sight of Fred and Angelina. I was starting to get uneasy, bouncing my leg as I tapped my nails against the table. "I can't do this."

"Can't do what?" Callie asked from next to me.

"Sit here." I breathed. "They are being so oblivious about their love. As if no one can _fucking_ see them."

"And she's swearing." Nick spoke, putting down his fork. "Just don't look at them."

 _"Just don't look at them."_ I scoffed. "It's not that easy."

I stood up but Callie quickly grabbed my arm and pulled me down to sit on the bench again. "You can't leave. You know the rules. During feasts, breakfast and dinner, you have to stay seated until the meal hours are over."

"I know but I–"

"You're a prefect and you were just appointed head girl." Melba said. "You can't disobey the rules when you're responsible of people following them."

"Yeah. Just–"

"Just what, Nate?" I snapped. "I get that he cheated. I get that he's happy now or _whatever_ but does he _have_ to rub it in my face?"

"Ignore him. Ignore _them."_ Callie told me. "Eat your croissant and act like you don't give a fuck about him. I know you do and I know it's hard to get over but just _try."_

I sighed.

"Okay." I held up my hands in surrender. "Fine. But I swear to god. If I ever catch them snogging in the hallways, I don't care about my head girl duties. I'll stab them both right in the back just like _he_ stabbed me in mine."

Silence.

"Are we all just going to ignore the fact that our best friend over here is being all murderous?" Nick suddenly asked, gesturing towards me. "That she's been talking about killing her ex like twice already?"

"Nick." Melba sighed. "Now would be a good time for you to shut up before you add to the anger she's feeling right now."

"Anger?" I asked. "I don't feel any anger. I'm fine."

"Yeah, sure." Melba nodded slowly before she cut her pancake in half and placed one of the halves on my plate. "Here. Take some of my pancake."

Our four friends gasped dramatically at her action but she ignored them and smiled sweetly at me, gesturing towards the half pancake on my plate. "Eat it, Jules. Pancakes always comfort me when I'm feeling down."

"Who are you and what have you done to Melbourne Striker?" Seth asked, looking at her with wide eyes.

"Ew, don't call me by that ridiculous name." she objected, her nose scrunching up in disgust. "It's Melba, not fucking Melbourne you fucking bitch."

"And now we angered the demon." Seth sighed. "Sorry. I obviously meant to call you Melba."

"Did you, _Stephen?"_

"Alright. There is no need for that. At least I changed my name legally, meaning Stephen isn't my name anymore. Melbourne is still yours." he argued.

Well, at least my name's actually Julie and they don't have anything to call me to piss me up. The nicknames they have for me is Jules and J and I don't have anything against those but Seth hates when we call him by his former first name Stephen. Melba hates when we call her by her real name Melbourne and Nick hates when we call him Jesus.

What kind of weird friend group is this? Callie isn't a Callie either, though she doesn't hate her name. It's just easier to say Callie than Calliope and Nate is obviously Nathaniel but he doesn't hate that either. Again, it's just easier to shorten it to Nate.

"Finish up your meals!" Professor Dumbledore suddenly announced, making the entire Great Hall quiet. "And get back to your common rooms for the night."

"That's my cue to leave!" I said cheerfully before I quickly got up and left the Great Hall along with some other students. Almost right away, I could sense someone behind me. Someone with large steps and I knew who it was.

Didn't he get enough in rubbing his new relationship in my face? Did he have to fucking follow me? I tensed my jaw as I hurried up my pace but he caught up with me only seconds later. _Him and his long legs._

"Julie."

_No._

_Don't answer him._

I let out a heavy breath before I bit onto my tongue to ignore him the best I could, but it was fucking difficult. He was walking so close to me and in the pace we were walking, his scent was being pushed right into my face. _His fucking scent._

The strong scent of vanilla hit my voice. The same vanilla from the shampoo and conditioner he used, mixed with the cologne he used. It was this cheap cologne that smelled fucking amazing. It smelled like French apple and royal pineapple.

"I need to talk to you." Fred said but I continued to ignore him. "Julie."

Ignore him.

Ignore him.

"Jules!"

"Don't call me that!" I snapped as I stopped dead in my tracks. He took another step before he could process that I had stopped walking and I looked up at him as he turned around to face me. "You don't get to call me that."

"Jul–"

"What do you want?" I interrupted him. "Go back to your girlfriend and leave me alone."

I tried pushing him away but he grabbed onto both of my arms and in response, I pushed him up against the wall, keeping my hands against his chest as his hands were still wrapped around my wrists.

"What do you want from me?" I asked. "To rub it in my face? Do you know how pathetic you made me look? You cheated on your Hufflepuff girlfriend with one of your fellow Gryffindor housemates who by the way is also on the same Quidditch team as you. I mean, it was expected. Everyone were probably waiting for it to happen."

He didn't let go of my wrists, meaning I couldn't move my hands so they stayed flat against his chest and it made me absolutely crazy. My eyes flickered from his face and down to the fabric of his uniform jumper. He smelled so good. I hated this. Hated that I stood this close to him. Hated that I could no longer kiss him whenever I wanted.

"I wanted to apologise."

"You've already done that." I said. "It means nothing, Fred. You can apologise all you fucking want but it means nothing without a proper explanation."

"I want to give that to you." he sighed. "But there is no explanation for cheating. I wish I had never done it though."

"Sure you do." I fake pouted and looked up at him again. "If you didn't cheat, you would still be unhappy with me. You wouldn't be with the _girl_ of your dreams. _Angelina Johnson._ Isn't that right, _Freddie?_ 'Cause you wouldn't have the _balls_ to end things with me, no matter how unhappy you were."

He didn't respond. He gulped harshly and my knees almost gave in when I saw his Adam's apple bop. Instead, he let go of my wrists and I pushed him once in the chest before stepping away, then turning back around and continuing towards the dungeon.

I tried to remain calm as I tapped the bricks in the stonewall in the rhythm as Helga Hufflepuff. I got it wrong, causing me to sigh and take a moment to collect myself. If I got it wrong too many times, it would spray vinegar on me and I didn't feel like having to clean these robes right now, seeing as I just changed into them on the train.

I tried again and luckily, I got it right. The door opened for me and I entered the common room that was full of chatter. Our new first year students were so excited, exploring the room as it was their first time in here. Some second year students were being not so nice. Well, they were being kids and I remember when I was twelve and started my second year. I thought I was so cool, through I was so shy to show it to anyone but my best friends. I also remember just being so terrified of the seventh year students. I mean, they were so much older and almost adults, working to get out of school and into the rest of their lives. Hard to believe that I'm now one of the students I once feared

"Boo!" a voice rang in my ear as two hands were placed on my shoulders and a high-pitched scream immediately left my lungs as my knees gave in and I dropped to my knees in fear. I sighed and closed my eyes as I realised who it was. While students froze at the sound of my scream, the room filled with laughter from my five friends. I tilted my head back and looked up at Nate who had been the one to scare me.

"You can't do that to me." I breathed. "Shit, I thought I was having a heart attack."

"That was fun!" Nick laughed. "You should've seen your face."

Meanwhile, Melba walked to the table, laughing softly. She looked through the many envelopes to find ours and threw one my way. It hit me before it dropped to the floor. I grabbed it, then pulled myself to my feet, walking around to let myself plump onto the sofa.

Seth let himself drop down next to me once he got his envelope and our friend group was silent for a moment as we all opened our envelopes to see this year's schedules. We had build them together ourselves with help from our head of house, Professor Sprout but we still opened them together to what classes we had together. Most of our classes were the same as last year, meaning we probably had a lot of classes together.

"You've got to be shitting me." Nate spoke. "Now we have to listen to Jules complain all five days of the week."

"What?" I asked and looked at him as I pulled my own schedule out. My eyes flicked to the piece of parchment in my hand and I groaned when I read the words on the top of the schedule. "Gryffindor and Hufflepuff have lessons together this year? What kind of crap is that?!"

"And there we go." Nate nodded. "Listen. We'll just sit as far away from Fred as possible."

"Heck yeah we will!" Seth agreed. "And if I just as much as catch him looking, I will personally smash his head in."

"You do realise he's half a feet taller than you, right?" Melba asked. "Both he and George are tall as fuck. They're literally an entire feet taller than Jules over there."

"Actually." I protested, holding up a hand to get their attention. "They're only thirty centimetres taller than me if we need to be precise about this and there are thirty point five centimetres in a feet."

All looked at me as if I was dumb and I frowned in response, shaking my head a bit as I looked back down at my schedule.

"I'm _very_ sorry." Melba said, her tone full of sarcasm. "I was a half centimetre off. My point is that they are so tall that you reach their shoulders and you, Seth. You reach their necks. There is no way you'd be able to smash Fred's head in."

"Plus, he's way too handsome for that." Callie said, causing me to glance at her.

"Can we please not talk about how handsome my ex is?"

"What? She's right." Nick told me as he sat down on the armrest of the sofa. "Fred is _very_ handsome. So is George... seeing as they are identical twins."

"You're so dumb." Nate told him, pushing him which caused him to fall to the floor with a band and the rest of us broke into a laughter that filled the entire common room. Nick got up and scoffed at us before grabbing his schedule and disappearing into one of the underground tunnels that led from the common room to the boys dormitories.

"I should probably go too." Nate said as he stood up before then leaning down over the chair where Callie sat and the rest of us watched sweetly as they shared a kiss. "Night babe."

"Night night." she replied before he walked past the sofa with a smile and as he approached the boys dormitories, he turned around and held up his two middle fingers.

"Goodnight losers!"


	5. Chapter 5

September first was a Friday, meaning we didn't have school on the second, neither the third. Classes started on the fourth of September and it was a great morning. I loved school, I honestly did. Though I dreaded it a little bit because I had charms and even though I had it with all five of my best friends, I knew that Fred would be there too. I knew that Charms wasn't a lesson he'd drop so he was definitely gonna be there. The same with George and probably also Angelina.

The morning started off with Callie, Melba and I getting ready together in our room that we shared with fifth-years Hannah Abbott and Susan Bones. Afterwards we met the boys in the common room and then we left the Hufflepuff basement to go get breakfast. Good thing was that Fred wasn't there when we got up to the Great Hall. Either he had already eaten or he was going to eat at a later time.

Though it turned out that he had already eaten. When my friends and I walked into class after breakfast, laughing about some stupid thing Nick said, Fred, George and Angelina all sat on the back row on the right side of the classroom. I slid down from Seth's back to take a seat on the back row in the left side of the room. He had been giving me a piggyback ride, only because I practically begged him.

"You can't deny it." Nick continued his argument with Melba. "I am the best chaser Hogwarts has ever had."

"As if." Melba scoffed once we were all seated, three of us on the back row and the other three on the next one. "You always look like a confused goose when we play and Jules or Seth always have to swoop right in and safe your sorry ass."

"Okay, you don't have to be so mean about it!" he exclaimed. "I am sure if you ask anyone... no, ask Ced. He'll tell you I'm the best Hogwarts has ever had."

"Alright, Nick. You wanna know who the best chaser in Hogwarts history is?" I asked. "That would most likely be James Potter. The best beater would be fucking George over there. Then there's the seeker. Everyone knows Charlie Weasley was the best in history and the best keeper was Oliver Wood."

"Wait." Callie said. "Do you notice a pattern?"

"What?" I questioned as she looked at me. She groaned and covered her face with her hands. "Callie, what?"

"We are never going to beat Gryffindor." Seth sighed, sinking into his seat. "All the best in history were on Gryffindor."

"So?" I raised an eyebrow. "We've won over them once before. We can do it again."

"You know, Jules is right." Melba said with a smile. "We are going to show everyone at Hogwarts that Hufflepuff is more than just being soft. We might be loyal as fuck. We might be fair but you know what else we are? We are hard working and we are dedicated. We will win against Ravenclaw first, then we'll smash Gryffindor and lastly we will take the victory from Slytherin."

"Don't be so sure about that." it came from the other side of the room and the six of us immediately looked at Angelina who had spoken. "As you just said, Pegas. George is the best beater in history."

"That's true." I nodded, licking my lips. "But we've got Diggory. The best of the four seekers that currently play at Hogwarts."

"And what about you?" she pressed. "I can mention nine chasers that are better than you."

"Angie." Fred tried to get her to stop but her eyes stayed on mine and I could see the determination in her eyes. She wanted to try and humiliate me.

"Let's see." she said as she started counting on her fingers. "Let's start with Ravenclaw, shall we? They _are_ the ones you'll play against first. Who do we have... Roger Davies, Bradley Cooper, David Chambers. Let's then look at Slytherin as they will be the _last_ you play against. Cassius Warrington, Adrian Pucey and Graham Montague. Now to the best team. _Gryffindor._ Let's start with myself, yeah? Then there's Alicia Spinnet _and._.. Katie Bell."

The room went quiet. Angelina and I stared at each other. A smirk was plastered on her face and my jaw was all tense as I held my head high and tried not to let her get to me.

"Cat's got your tongue?" she pressed and I had to bite the inside of my cheek while grabbing my book tightly to not jump over the table and attack her.

_You're a head girl which means you can't jump her._

"You shouldn't sit there and be so cocky about yourself, Pegas." Angelina told me. "I mean. You might be better chasers than Crane and Doe over there but other than that, everyone else is better than you."

_Don't jump her._

"You're a bitch." I told her. Everyone were so quiet. Even the new students that had filled the room. The only one we were waiting for was Professor Flitwick to come and start the lesson.

"Am I?" she chuckled. "I am just saying what everyone else is afraid to say. You think you're so much better than everyone else but I think you're just secretly covering up your insecurities about everyone else being in fact so much better than _you."_

"Quit it, Angelina." George broke in. "Leave her alone."

"No. Let her speak." I said without taking my eyes off of her. "Go on. Tell me what you really think about me."

"Jules, just let it be." I heard Seth say from next to me. I ignored him.

"Why do you think Fred fucked me while being with you?" Angelina asked and Fred immediately covered his face as he sighed into his hands. "He obviously wasn't satisfied by your loose cunt."

"My—" I inhaled sharply. " _Excuse_ me?"

"You've probably fucked half the guys in school." Angelina told me. "I'm sure if I went down and asked for the Gryffindor guys to raise their hands if they've slept with you, only one or two would keep theirs down."

"Angie—"

Angelina ignored Fred as he tried protesting. She kept staring at me as she leaned over her table.

"You're calling me a slut?" I asked. "Wow. That's _really_ original. I'm not the one who slept with someone else's boyfriend."

"Yeah, you're right. I am guilty of that but he came onto me. _He_ wanted to fuck _me."_

I bit onto my tongue so hard that eventually, a metallic taste filled my mouth.

_You're a head girl._

_You're a head girl._

_You're a head girl._

"You're not as great as you thing, Pegas." Angelina told me. "Didn't your mum leave?"

_Fuck._

"Isn't it true that you never knew her? She left shortly after she gave birth to you. She must've found you so repulsive... and poor _poor_ daddy Pegas got stuck with you."

I slammed my book down against the table, the sound echoing through the room. I got up as quickly as I could and pressed my books to my chest while throwing my bag over my shoulder.

"Julie." Melba called as I made my way down from the row. "Jules!"

I pushed the door open and left the classroom, hurrying down the corridor as the tears spilled from my eyes. My mum leaving was a touchy subject. I know I've never met her and I know I don't want to ever meet her but she left because she didn't want to parent a witch. She left because she didn't want me and Angelina had no right bringing that up.

"Jules!" I heard Fred call after me and I sighed. I didn't want him to follow me. He needed to just leave me alone. "Can you stop for a moment? I'm sorry—"

"You're sorry?!" I yelled and turned around to face him. "What are you sorry for, Fred? It's not like _you_ said those things. Your girlfriend did and she's not exactly your responsibility, is she?! Fuck off, Fred. We have nothing to do with each other anymore and I do not need you to come running after me because you feel _sorry_ for me!"

He scoffed and folded his arms over his chest as he stared over my head. "Fine. You're right. I _do_ feel sorry for you."

He looked down at me again, taking a step closer. "I feel sorry for you because of how ignorant you are."

"Oh shut—"

"You _do_ realize it takes two to fuck up a relationship."

"Yes." I nodded. "You and Johnson!"

"Julie, would you just—"

"Weasley, Pegas." It came from Flitwick as he entered the corridor. "I would hurry to class if I were you. If you get there after me, you'll automatically end up in detention."

I glanced up at Fred before I hurried past him and pack to class, wiping my cheeks right before I entered.

"Are you okay?" Callie whispered when I got back in my seat.

I nodded.

"Yes. Sure."


	6. Chapter 6

Ever since we started Hogwarts, my friends and I would always spend our free lessons in the middle courtyard, sitting in the grass while talking about what we want for our futures. It was really cozy and Seth and I would always end up cuddling in the grass. Not that we like each other, because we _don't_ but all of us cuddle at times.

Seth and I just have that special bond. He's like a brother to me. They're all like siblings to me. I don't have any so they really _are_ all I have. I love my dad and I know he loves me but he's always working and with no siblings, I'm just happy I have these five amazing friends.

I was lying between Seth's legs. He was leaned back on his hands and I lied with my back against his front, my near where his heart was.

"Do you think aliens exist?" I asked as I stared up at the sky.

Silence.

"Are you high right now?" Seth asked from behind me.

"Wha— you don't believe in aliens?" I asked, then looked at them all. "Well I do. Fred and I used to talk about it. Imagining what they'd look like. If they look like us, ordinary human beings or if they are green and have those weird heads with those big eyes."

"Maybe she's sick." Nate suggested before Seth placed a hand over my forehead.

"Oh stop it!" I pushed his hand away as I laughed. "I mean, there _must_ be something on one of the other planets."

"Maybe." Callie shrugged, moving her wand around between her fingers. "Maybe not."

I watched the wand move around in her hands. It was quite pretty. Callie's wand was a thirteen and a quarter inch Redwood wood with Phoenix feather as core.

I've studied wands for years now. I think it's interesting so even though we don't exactly have a subject about wands, we tend to learn about them in History of Magic and sometimes I just like to read about them.

The Redwood Wood aren't very lucky wands. They aren't good on their own but they grow very close to their owner, have a close bond and the owners they choose are the witches or wizards who make the right choices through life and who can snatch advantage from catastrophe.

Now the Phoenix feather is the rarest core there is. They are capable of a great range of magic though they learn slower than the others. Sometimes they act on their own which is a trait that the witches and wizards don't like. They are the pickiest when it comes to their owners and they are the hardest to tame.

My own wand is a nine inch vine wood with thestral tail hair and I know the meaning behind that one too.

Vine wood have a very unique and special nature. They are less common and they usually choose witches or wizards who seek a greater purpose and tend to shock the ones around them that thought they knew them the best. Vine wood are also quite sensitive when it comes to choosing its owner and they can do magic just by the owner stepping into the same room.

The thestral tail hair is also quite rare. It's hair taken from the tail of a thestral obviously and they make a wand _pretty_ unstable, meaning that it takes a special witch or wizard to control it.

Melba's wand is a twelve inch English Oak Wood with Unicorn hair.

Many people believe that Merlin had an English Oak Wood wand but his grave was never found so it can't be proven. The wood is as loyal as the person itself. It sticks with you though good and through bad and usually the owners of this wand has both courage, strength and fidelity.

The Unicorn hair are the hardest to turn towards dark magic but it _is_ possible and it _has_ happened. They are the most faithful of all wands and are strongly attached to their owners, though the unicorn hair tend to die quickly and needs replacing.

Seth's wand is a twelve and a quarter inch Beech Wood with Phoenix feather.

Beech Wood is one of my favorites apart from my own of course. It's owners are usually the one who are wiser than their year. Rich in both experience and understanding and it's capable of a big range of magic.

Then there's Nick. His wand is an eleven and a quarter inch Hornbeam Wood with Unicorn hair. The owners of a Hornbeam Wood wand are usually very talented and passionate in a way that most find obsessive. They adapt so quickly to their owner that if anyone else tries to use it, they'll find it difficult to even do the most simple spells.

Lastly, we have Nate. His is a twelve and a half inch English Oak Wood with Dragon Heartstring.

I've already explained the English Oak Wood but the Dragon Heartstring

The Dragon Heartstring is the core that is the easiest to turn towards dark magic, though only if the owner leads it to it. That's because they learn more quickly than the other wands and they bond great with every owner it is even if it's being won over by someone else.

"Earth to Julie!" Nick sang, waving a hand over my face which made me snap back to reality.

"Huh?"

"You were completely gone." He laughed. "We were just talking about you and Fred."

"Why?" I frowned. "We're over. He cheated. End of story."

"We know." Melba said. "You mention it _all_ the time."

"Those two—" Nate motioned between Nick and Melba. "We're arguing over the sex you and Fred had."

"What?" I laughed. "Why? That's..."

"Weird?" Seth asked and I nodded.

"Weird." I confirmed.

"No no, it's not." Nick defended. "I was saying that I bet the sex was slow and _very_ making-love like."

This is what I meant by passionate that can come off as obsessive. He's a passionate guy. Sometimes a tad too much.

"And I was saying that I think you and Fred were kinky." Melba said. "It's no secret that you have some kinks that you're hiding up your sleeve and such a tall and handsome guy, can't be _all_ vanilla."

"Oh, he was _not_ vanilla." I laughed, looking up at the sky again. "Yeah. Angelina definitely got to have some _great_ sex."

"I wanna know!" Callie shrieked as her and Melba scooted closer. "You've never wanted to talk about it because you didn't want us to be invading Fred's personal space so now that he cheated and you hate him, tell us about the sex."

"I _really_ don't wanna hear this." Seth protested but Melba and Callie silenced him violently.

"C'mon, Jules." Callie pouted. "I've told you and Mel about Nate and I—"

"Wait what?" Nate frowned.

"... so does Fred have any kinks?" Callie continued and I sighed before I closed my eyes and thought back to one of the many times we had sex.

"We had some of the same kinks." I said. "We _have_ some of the same kinks. We both like hands. I think I do more than him."

"That's not a kink, Jules. That's a fetish." Melba said. "I think it's called Quirofilia. I have it too."

"Yeah, I know it's a fetish." I said before I sat up. "Alright. Kinks...sensation play is almost always a hit. Also, orgasm control. He'd edge me a lot to annoy me. Sometimes some mild bondage but not that kind of _hanging-from-the-ceiling_ thing. More like getting your hands and feet tied to the bed."

"How about choking?" Callie asked. "I like it when Nate chokes me."

"I think we're sharing a bit too much information." Nate spoke pretty loudly.

"Fred's choked me a few times." I said. "I liked it but even though we're both very kinky, he was always scared he'd hurt me and accidentally choke me to death."

"Why?" Melba asked. "Didn't he know to press on the sides and now on the actual throat?"

"Oh he knew." I nodded. "But it still scared him."

"Christ." It came from Seth. "I need a girlfriend that I can choke."

Melba and I both laughed as Callie crawled back to apologize to Nate for over sharing their sex life.

"Who knew Fred was such a kinky guy?" Melba smirked.

"No, who knew Jules was such a kinky gal?" Callie corrected her.

"Yeah, well. It's probably never going to happen again. How many guys would like all of those things?"

"A lot of guys." Callie laughed. "Like... _a lot."_


	7. Chapter 7

"Jules, Jules, Jules, Jules!" I looked up at the sound of Seth, watching him rush over. He got shushed by the librarian but he ignored it and leaned on the table, a hand on my textbook.

"What are you doing?" I asked, looking down at his hand. "Remove your hand."

"Come with me." He whispered before he gathered my books and closed them. He proceeded to grab my bag and pushed the books into them before he swung it over his shoulder while moving behind me. He grabbed both of my wrists, guiding me out of my chair before he just grabbed one of my hands and started guiding me out of the library.

"What're you doing, Seth?" I asked. "Where're we going?"

"Fred and Angelina are fighting. You need to hear this."

"Merlin's beard." I sighed. "Seth, I really don't want to—"

"Oh shush! Yes you do!"

He kept a fast pace, meaning I had to try and keep up the same pace which was exhausting as his legs were slightly longer than mine.

Seth pushed the door open to an empty corridor and the faint voices of Fred and Angelina hit my ears. He guided the both of us behind a wall with me pressed against the wall and him with a hand clamped over my mouth due to my heavy breathing.

"Would you just give me a fucking break!" Fred's voice rang through the corridor. "You slept with him!"

"And it was fucking good!" She replied. "Why are you getting so riled up! We never agreed to be exclusive!"

"We never agreed to be inclusive either!" He yelled. "This is unbelievable."

"What? That you're getting the exact same medicine as Pegas got when you were with her?"

"Don't bring her into this!" He yelled even louder. "But yeah. You're right. I cheated on Julie which was a _big_ mistake. A mistake I will hate myself for, for the rest of my life and now I know what it feels like. She was right. Karma's a bitch."

Wait... Angelina cheated on him? Well isn't that ironic.

"You still love her, don't you?" Angelina asked and then the corridor went silent for a moment. "Well, isn't that just too bad? She doesn't love you, Freddie. She finds you disgusting. Yeah, I heard her when she found out about us. She thinks you're a disgusting piece of shit so good luck with that."

Then footsteps approached and Angelina left, luckily without seeing us against the wall to her side. Then Fred reached the door as well but as he pulled it open, he stopped and a frown appeared on his face as he turned his head and saw us.

His eyes first landed on me, then moved to Seth who had me pressed against the wall with a hand over my mouth and a knee next to my thigh, holding me in place. Then he looked back to me and let out a snicker as he fully walked out of the door.

Seth looked at me and stepped back, his hand dropping from my mouth. "That was awkward."

"Oh fuck." I cursed and ran my hands up over my face and into my hair. "He totally thought we were here to fuck."

Seth laughed as he backed up against the opposite wall and crossed his arms over his chest. "Why do you care if that's what he thinks? You're broken up."

"I don't care." I scoffed. "He can think what we want. I just don't want him to–"

"To what? Hate you?" Seth raised his eyebrows, an amusing grin on his face. "Like you hate him?"

I rolled my eyes and let out a chuckle as I walked over to him and grabbed my bag from his shoulder, swinging it over my own. "Right. I see your point. Can I go back to studying now?"

"No." he shook his head and the grin never left his face. "C'mon, J. The others are in class. Come have a smoke with me."

"A smoke? Now? Seth, I have homework due for Divination and so do you so maybe we should work on it _together._ Then _Nick_ can work on his later."

"Please." he begged. "Just one smoke and then we can go make our Divination homework."

I sighed and tilted my head as I watched him. I really needed to do my homework but Seth always had a soft spot in my heart and he knew it. He knew it and he was trying to take advantage of it like usual.

"Please, J." he pouted. "Please, please, please, _please."_

"Fine." I gave in with a groan. "One smoke and then homework."

"Yay!" he cheered and threw his arm around my neck as we made our way out of the corridor. "Can we then maybe... talk about what we just heard?"

"What do you mean?" I asked. "Fred being cheated on four months after cheating on _me?"_

He nodded slowly and I shrugged in response. Fred now knew how it felt. Or did he? I love Fred with my whole heart, I still do... but does he love her like I love him? It didn't sound like it. I didn't know if there was much of a difference about cheating when it comes to the amount of love you have for the person.

"He got what was coming for him." I simply told Seth. "I wanna say that he deserved it but no one deserves that. Not even if he cheated on me himself."

What I said was true. Sure, Fred cheated on me four months ago and it absolutely broke my heart. It's something I have yet to get over but that didn't mean I wished for him to experience the same. He still didn't deserve for _his_ girlfriend to cheat on him. He cheated and even though I don't act like it, I do want him to be happy so if he's happy with that bitch Angelina Johnson, then great.

"Wait, Seth... I forgot. I don't have my cigarettes on me. They're in my dorm." I said and Seth looked at me as we walked down the staircase to the ground floor.

"You can just have one of mine." he shrugged. "It's no biggie."

"You're too lazy to go down to the Hufflepuff basement and then back up to the courtyard, aren't you?" I asked and he nodded, chuckling lightly. "Right. Okay then. Yours are good enough."

"Mine are the best." he told me. "What you and Nate smoke is crap."

 _"You're_ crap." I argued. He glanced at me, his brows grown together into a frown. "What?"

"That's not nice."

 _"You're_ not nice."

Seth's face stayed as a frown as we walked out into the paved grounds courtyard where loads of students were hurrying across the ground, either getting to class and getting from it, seeing as it was a few minutes to ten and a lesson had just ended, though our friends had two hours of Herbology, meaning their class didn't end until in one hour. "Would you stop with the insults?"

He wanted to laugh, I knew it. I could see it in his face. I held up my hands in surrender, laughing softly. "Alright. I'm sorry, _I'm sorry."_

We found our usual spot in the courtyard. We always chose this one because it was so full of busy students that no one would notice us two smoking in the corner. We had been smoking here for almost two years and never once had we gotten caught. The teachers don't walk here that often and definitely not in the morning. Plus, we stood hid away in a small hideaway behind one of the towers that had a staircase on the inside.

"Here." Seth pulled a cigarette out of the pack he had pulled from his pocket, and handed it to me. I placed it between my lips and he then handed me his lighter that I used to light it with. I leaned back against he brick wall and inhaled, then removing the cigarette from between my lips. I held it between my index finger and my middle finger as I felt the smoke reach my lungs. That was exactly what I needed. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes and a chuckle came from Seth, but I simply ignored it. "And you said you didn't want a smoke."

I exhaled and looked at him as he lit his own cigarette. When he looked at me, his eyes met mine and he wiggled his eyebrows at me as a smile spread on his lips.

"You're so weird sometimes." I told him, guiding the cigarette back to my lips to inhale again, then exhaled seconds later. "Not that I hate that about you."

"Would be weird if you did." he said and leaned a hand on the wall. "You're equally weird. I guess it's a Gemini thing... wouldn't you say?"

"Or maybe a Hufflepuff thing." I shrugged then thought about it and shook my head. "No... definitely a Gemini thing."


	8. Chapter 8

"Nope." I coughed, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. "That's terrible."

"No it's not." Nate got all defensive as he grabbed the vodka bottle from my hand. "It's probably the best muggle invention _ever."_

"I'm with Julie on this one." Callie said. "Plus, you promised me you hadn't brought any alcohol to school. You're gonna get fucking expelled if you get caught."

"Well–" Seth shrugged. "If a students gets caught smoking, they'll get expelled for that too but the three of us–"

He pointed between Nate, me and himself. "...have been smoking for two years and we haven't got caught yet. Nate, hand me the bottle. I need to get drunk."

When Seth got a hold of the bottle, he threw his head back and took a big sip from it, then let out a breath and handed it to Nick who did the same. Nick's not big on drinking but sometimes he likes to get himself drunk. Especially if he's stressed out and he has been for the past couple of days.

He realised that this really is our last year before we enter the real world. He's terrified of the real world. Gets quite anxious about it. He doesn't like change. It was the same when we started Hogwarts. He had to get used to the new everyday and now he's scared of leaving school and having to get used to a _new_ everyday.

Nick wants to be a healer at St. Mungos. Nate's working to become a genealogist who studies the Wizarding families lineage. Seth's going to be a obliviator, Callie loves dragons and she's counting on becoming a dragonologist in Sweden, Melba's plan is to be an auror and I.. I want to play quidditch for a living. To join the English national quidditch team. Fred and I used to talk about it. Our future. He wanted to open a shop with George and I wanted to be a professional quidditch player. We supported each other and we were so excited for a future together.

"You know what? Give me the bottle." I ordered, holding out my hand towards Nick. "I need to get him out of my head."

He handed over the bottle and I threw my head back, the bottle against my lips as I consumed as much as I could in one go before I had to take a breath for some air.

"Holy shit." Melba cursed. "That's hot."

"Want some?" I asked, offering her the bottle with a grin on my face. She shook her head as her face scrunched up in disgust and I shrugged. I was about to drink some more when Nate grabbed it out of my hand.

"Did no one teach you how to share?" he joked as he himself drank some more. After a while of just sitting on the ground in the courtyard, drinking and talking, I found myself feeling pretty tipsy and when I saw Fred walk past alone, I couldn't help but wonder.

"Oi! Weasley!" I called with a grin on my face. He stopped dead in his tracks and I could see he tensed up. He slowly turned around, taking in my friend group as we were all sitting on the ground, most of us tipsy from drinking. "Where's George?"

His eyes landed on me and he licked his lips before shrugging. "Library. Why?"

"And Jordan?"

"Lee's..." he sighed. "He's got class."

"Towler?" I then asked as I pulled myself up to stand on my knees. "Do you know where he's at?"

"What're you on about, Julie?" he asked. "Why are you asking about my roommates?"

"I'm just curious." I shrugged, biting my bottom lip as I eyed him up and down. He looked good. So bloody good.

"Kenneth and Lee have class together during this time a day, remember?" he asked, then shook his head. "I gotta go."

"Wait!" I called when he turned back around. "Go where?"

"I'm supposed to be getting something for George in the dorm." he simply said before he continued walking inside. I pulled myself up to my feet to follow him.

"Where're you going?" Callie asked, causing me to look at her. I leaned down and grabbed the bottle out of her hand, taking a sip from it, then handed it back.

"I'm gonna go fuck my ex."

Melba and Callie both cheered me on while Seth started to object while I made my way towards the entrance that Fred entered through, trying my best to look sober.

"Wha– Jules, do you think that's a good idea?!" Seth called but I ignored him and continued through the doors. I kept a distance to Fred but followed him up to the Gryffindor tower. I knew the password so after I said it, I was let in.

He wasn't in the common room, meaning he was in his dormitory. The thing about the Gryffindor common room is that if a boy gets near the stairs to the girls dormitory, the stairs turn into a slide and the boy falls back down but that's not the case with the boys dormitory.

When I entered the dorm, I saw him. His back was turned to me as he went through George's stuff. We were the only ones in here and when I closed the door behind me, locking it, he turned around in confusion, eyes landing on me. "What're you doing here?"

"I miss you." I cooed, pulling my wand out of my back pocket. Though I had locked the door, I still used a locking charm on it, then put my wand on the dresser next to the door which I knew was Kenneth Towlers.

"Jule–" his voice stopped as his eyes dropped to my hands that grabbed the hem of my skirt while I kicked off my shoes. I ran my fingers along the inside of the waistband, then let the material slap back against my skin and I let out a heavy breath which made his eyes flicker back up to mine. "Are you drunk?"

"No." I giggled. My hands went up and quickly undid my robes. I let them slide down my arms, hitting the floor before I pulled off my jumper. Fred inhaled sharply and I smiled in satisfaction. I wasn't wearing a bra under my shirt button-up dress and I knew it was visible. Especially because my nipples had hardened against the material. His eyes followed my hands again when they went up and started loosening my tie. Then I pulled the collar of my shirt out from under it while pulling it out of my skirt as well. I unbuttoned every single button, letting the shirt hang around my torsos, only just covering my nipples with my tie hanging in between them.

"Isn't this how you like me?" I asked softly as I pulled my skirt down, stepping out of them so that I only stood in my knickers, my opened shirt, a school tie and the grey socks that went to under my knees. "Innocent looking?"

"Trust me." he breathed. His pupils were madly dilated. "You don't have the slightest of innocence in the way you look right now."

I reached up to pull the hair tie out of my hair and I felt the cool air against my nipples as the shirt moved to the sides, revealing them. I moaned in response and Fred dropped the things he was holding, grabbing onto the nightstand to steady himself.

"You're drunk, Julie." he said, through his heavy breathing. "You should get your clothes back on."

I walked closer to him and he backed up, hitting the wall between the nightstand George's nightstand and his bed.

"Kiss me." I whispered as I stood right in front of him. I ran a hand up his chest and behind his neck. He straightened up, cleaning his throat as he looked over my head.

"I'm with Angelina." he told me. "You know this."

I sighed and rested my head against his chest, taking in his scent. "Being in a relationship hasn't stopped you before."

He grabbed onto my wrists, forcing me away from him and he looked at me with this angry and deadly glance in his eyes.

"I am trying to not make the same mistakes." he told me as he pushed me towards his own bed where he forced me to sit down. "This. Your little game. It's not working."

He walked over to pick up my clothes, then came back to me and put it next to me. "First of all. I do not want to be known as a cheater. Second of all, you are drunk and I don't want to take advantage of you. Lastly, you'd hate me again when you sober up."

"I'm not drunk." I told him. "I'm tipsy."

"Well." He breathed as his fingers found the buttons of my shirt. "No matter what you are, I'm not taking advantage of it."

I tilted my head back and looked up at him, watching his expression as he buttoned my shirt. His eyebrows were slightly grown together in a frown and the tip of his tongue was between his lips as he bit down on it.

"You used to want me." I said and I realised how pathetic I sounded. He let out a breath but he didn't respond. Instead he just undid the tie, then wrapped it around the collar of my shirt and tied it again, tightening it before folding the collar down over it. "Used to love me."

He grabbed my jumper and helped me get it back on before he grabbed my skirt and crouched in front of me, holding it open. He glanced up at me, waiting for me to step into it and I sighed as I did. Then I stood up, placing my hands on his shoulders as he pulled it up and around my bum, letting go of them when the waistband sat around my waist.

He placed his hands on either side of my jaw and forced me to look at him. "I do love you, Jules. _You_ dumped _me."_

"Because you cheated." I said. "You don't love me. You love her. Otherwise you wouldn't have... _fucked_ her."

He guided me to lie down on his bed before he crouched down next to me. "Sleep it out here. I'll be back soon."


	9. Chapter 9

I woke up on Fred's bed later that night. I felt more sober but I felt nauseous. Chatter hit my ears. It was the voice of George and Kenneth Towler. I sat up with a groan, running a hand through my messy hair and the room went quiet. After I rubbed my eyes, I opened them and then looked around. Fred was standing by George's bed, a hand up on the frame. George was sitting on his bed with his wand in his hand. Towler was sitting on the floor for some reason and Lee was leaned against his dresser.

"Well this is awkward." I muttered.

"What? A Hufflepuff girl waking up in a Gryffindor dorm? No... not at all."

"Shut it, Towler." Fred told him before he approached his bed where I sat. "How're you feeling?"

I glanced up at him before I looked down at my hands. I felt so embarrassed, remembering how I acted earlier. Got myself half-naked because I wanted sex from him while I was under the influence of alcohol.

"I feel like I should probably get back to my own common room." I said as I got up. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and grabbed my robes that Fred had hung over the frame of the bed. I pulled it on and closed the one button over my chest.

"So you two did absolutely nothing?" George asked, causing Fred and I to both look at him. "Like... nothing _at all?"_

"No." I hurried to say. "No... and drop that smile, George."

George's smile immediately faded and Lee let out a laugh but quit it when I looked at him.

"Right." I breathed, sliding into my shoes before hurrying over to grab my wand from where I left it earlier. I then turned towards Fred. "I'm sorry about what... happened."

"So something did happen!" George explained, earning a glare from both Fred and I.

"All that happened, was that I was tipsy—"

"Drunk." Fred corrected me but I ignored him as I continued.

"... and I got naked. Well, half-naked." I said. "There. Now you know and _now..._ I'll go because it's dark outside, meaning it's probably really late and my friends might be worried."

I pulled open the door and hurried out, closing it behind me. I froze when I saw who was in the common room.

On the sofa sat Ron, Harry and Hermione and by the homework table sat Angelina and Alicia.

All five were looking right at me as I stood at the top of the stairs in the Gryffindor common in my Hufflepuff uniform.

"What the hell are you doing coming out of my boyfriends dorm?" Angelina asked as I slowly made my way down the stairs.

"You mean, what I'm doing coming out of my _ex_ boyfriends dorm?" I asked, then sighed. "You know what. I'm not in the mood for this. You don't have to worry about this. I was the one trying to _seduce_ him but he didn't do anything so don't take it out on him."

"Take _what_ out on him? What _happened_ in that room?" She raised her voice.

"I slept." I shrugged.

"In his bed?"

"No. On the fucking floor." I rolled my eyes. "Stop getting so upset. You know, he saw me naked and he kept his hands to himself. It's obvious that he wants to stay loyal to you. Not that the same can be said about you."

"Excuse me?" She scoffed as I made my way towards the painting.

"Pegas." Hermione called and I sighed as I stopped, turning around. "You do realize you're not allowed in the Gryffindor common room, and that you can get your head girl badge taken away if anyone finds out."

"Well—" I let out a breath. "Who's gonna tell on me? Ron won't because his mother loves me. You and Harry won't because you love Ron. Angelina won't because she knows I'll just deny it and Fred will back me up. No... George will _definitely_ back me up, I don't know about Fred. So no ones saying anything? Thanks."

I hurried out of the common room and down the moving staircases before anyone could see that I came from a common room that wasn't mine.

The castle was quiet at this time. It was probably past curfew and I didn't have rounds tonight so I had no excuse to be out of the basement. I walked with fast steps, making sure they were as large as possible.

When I reached the stairs to the dungeon, I felt relieved. I hurried down and over to the bring wall that led to the Hufflepuff basement.

I tapped the bricks in the right rhythm and the door opened. I walked through and down the stairs, continuing into the room that was dark due to it being late.

Though my friends were all sat around the fire. They looked cozy. Nate and Callie were cuddled up on one sofa with a blanket covering them. Seth and Nick sat in a second sofa and Melba sat alone in the last.

The painting of Helga Hufflepuff that hung above the fireplace was lit up by the fire and made the common room even cozier.

"Hey." I breathed as I approached them. Heads turned and eyes landed on me as I slumped down next to Melba. "I think I managed to make Angelina hate me even more."

"Oh no." It came from Callie. "Did she catch you and Fred in the sheets?"

"No." I scoffed and sat up straight. "We didn't have sex. I got _naked,_ he _rejected_ me, then _dressed_ me and let me sleep the alcohol off in his bed."

The room went silent for a moment before the five of them broke into laughter while trying to stay quiet since most students, especially the young ones were sleeping.

"It's not funny!" I argued. "It's embarrassing. I woke up and George, Lee and Towler were in the room. I had been sleeping in his room among his roommates."

"You've done that before, haven't you?" Nate laughed.

"Yes but this time was different. This time it was after I got harshly rejected by my ex boyfriend." I said, then sighed. "I'm a horrible person. I tried to get him to cheat on his girlfriend."

Melba scooted closer to me and wrapped an arm around me, causing me to lie down with my head in her lap.

"Aw, don't be sad." She pouted and played with my hair.

"Yeah. You're not a horrible person." Nick said as he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands folded between them. "You're in love. How long did you date him for? Eighteen months?"

"Nineteen."

"Nineteen months." He nodded. "It's been four months since you broke up. Obviously it will take a while to get over, though you won't _actually_ get over it."

"Dude." Seth swatted his arm. "I don't think _that's_ what she needs to hear."

"Don't hit me." Nick frowned as he rubbed his arm.

"What do you mean that I may not get over it?" I questioned. Nick looked at me again and shrugged.

"Well, he was your first love, right?" He asked and I nodded in response. "Well then you won't get over it. You don't get over your first love. That's the person who introduced you to the things you were unfamiliar to. The person who showed you what true love is. You _can't_ get over your true love. They'll always have a special place in your heart. They're the person you'll always compare everything else to. I bet that if you went out and started dating again, you would compare every kiss, every hug, every little thing he did... to the things Fred did, to the hugs you and Fred shared... the kisses. You will never stop being in love with your first love. You'll be forced to move on but even in forty years when you think back, you'll still have that same love for him."

The room went quiet as everyone had listened to Nick's speech. Then I sat up and swung my legs onto the floor.

"Yep." I breathed and pulled myself up to stand. "Excuse me. I'll just go... _cry."_


	10. Chapter 10

"Alright— Crane what are you doing? Doe get down! Dendron, Twig. Stop making out. Where the hell is Striker? Pegas... you're actually..."

Cedric frowned at me as I sat in the grass and waited for him to gain control over the rest of the team. Nate and Callie were making out in the grass a few feet from us, Crane was running around, escaping from some bug that was _bugging_ him. I pressed my lips together at the joke I made in my head but shook it away. Okay... then there was Seth. He was flying around on his broom and Melba hadn't shown up.

"You're usually just as annoying as the rest of your friends." Cedric said and I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

"Yeah, well. I'm trying not to cry, y'know."

He raised an eyebrow but then looked towards the castle where Melba came running in her uniform, wand in hand.

"I have a message from Sprout!" She called out and at her voice, Seth got back down on the earth while Callie and Nate broke apart, then slowly made their way back to us. Nick was still running around, screaming like a little school girl as the bug chased him. Melba reached us and threw her wand in the grass before leaning forward to place her hands on her knees as she panted heavily.

"You're out of breath?" Cedric asked. "Unbelievable. We can't have a beater who's out of breath from running a little."

"Oh shut up." Melba snapped. "Sprout says Gryffindor needs the pitch today."

"Seriously?!" I raised my voice. "Why are Gryffindor taking everything away from us?"

Cedric looked down at me with a questioning look before he shook his head. "Don't make this about your breakup with Weasley."

He looked at Melba. "I wrote Hufflepuff on the schedule. We have the pitch today."

"Yes, and we do but we have to share it with Gryffindor." Melba said. "Apparently Ron Weasley made the team as a keeper and he needs extra training before their match at the start of November."

"Right. We share. That's no issue, right?" Callie asked.

"No. It's not." Cedric shook his head. "Crane, get over here!"

Nick let out a shriek in response and Cedric sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "Alright. No, there's no issue. As long as we still get to practice, I think it's fair. Now, seeing as Striker here turned up twenty minutes too late _and_ out of breath, I need you all to do rounds. Not on brooms, no. Today we'll focus on your form so give me ten rounds around the pitch."

"You're joking... right?" Seth asked. "Ten rounds? I'm not a bloody horse. I'll be able to run half a round and then I'll be out of breath."

"Which we need to change." Cedric said. "How you six made the team, is truly a wonder. Now get going. I'll be running too."

I pulled myself to my feet and as we started running the laps, the Gryffindor team showed up. I ran next to Seth and I tried to keep my focus on him and not look at Fred. I hadn't talked to him since I left that night I got naked in his dormitory. He saw my nipples and those he hasn't seen since we were together.

"I'm hungry." Seth spoke. "Are you hungry? I could _really_ use a burger right now."

"I'm hungry!" Nick shouted as he caught up with us, running on my other side. "I would like some pizza."

"We can go get some food when we're finished with practice." Nate said as he and Callie passed us. They always did that. Those two loved outshining us with how fast they can run.

"I'm not really hungry." I said. "I think I ate too much dinner."

"You always eat too much dinner." Nick said and seconds later, he slowed down, letting himself fall into the grass as he was out of breath already.

"Crane!" Cedric called. "Get back up! You didn't even make it half around the pitch!"

"When did you become our coach?!" Nick shouted back. "You're our captain but not our coach!"

"In quidditch, the captain _is_ your coach so get up and get running!" Cedric yelled at him as he passed him and shortly after passed Seth and I.

"Is it just me or is Ced more cranky today?" I asked, glancing at Seth before my eyes trailed to Fred who was laughing with Angelina over something and suddenly it felt like someone ripped my heart out and stomped on it.

"He's always cranky when we're involved." Seth said with a small laugh, then noticed how my eyes were focused on the Gryffindor team in the middle of the pitch. "Hey. Ignore that they're here. Don't let them get to you. The love they have between them is completely fake. Honestly, I don't think I've ever seen a fake rela—"

Suddenly I tripped over my own feet, tumbling into Seth before we landed on the ground, me on top of him. We both groaned at the harsh contact and then I heard the familiar sound of Angelina laughing, along with Alicia.

"I just tripped us." I stated as I looked down at Seth under me while I placed my hands on the ground to lift some of my weight off of him.

"You just tripped us." He confirmed and nodded slightly. "And ouch... that hurt like hell."

"I'm sorry." I chuckled lightly. I stood up and extended a hand, helping him up. I brushed some dirt off his shoulders, then brushed some off my own quidditch uniform. "I got... distracted."

"Yeah. I can tell."

Suddenly Cedric reached us again and I looked at him, frowning as I felt a bit confused. How did he already run a whole lap around the pitch? He passed us only seconds ago.

"Are you two done messing around? Take this serious. _As_ serious as you are about wanting to win those three matches." He said, then started running again.

"I hate him." I told Seth. "I mean, I don't really but then again... I _really_ hate him."

"Yeah that makes sense." He laughed and grabbed my hand, pulling me with as he started running again and I did as well. "Keep your eyes where you're running, alright? I don't want to be tripped again."

"Yeah yeah. Alright." I muttered as I took the deep breath. "I'm keeping my eyes where I'm running."

Though that was extremely hard. I had always found it hard to _not_ look at Fred if I know he's near me. Well, not always. There was a time when I weren't in love with him but then I fell _hard_ at the start of our fifth year and now.. we're not together, I'm single, he's not and yet I can't seem to keep my eyes off of him. I can't seem to focus with him around and it's even worse now than it was when we were an item. I hated him for it. Hated him for cheating and hating him for making me feel this way but I hated myself even more for not actually hating him.

"Jules?"

I had stopped. I was no longer running. I was just standing there, heavily breathing while Seth walked back to me. "What are you—"

"I can't concentrate." I said. "My head is killing me. All I can think about is that he's right here and I'm right here and I can't talk to him like I used to. I can't wrap my arms around him and feel him hug me in such a comforting way while he sways me from side to side. Johnson has all of that now and she doesn't understand how lucky she is."

"Oh dear Jules." Seth pouted and grabbed my face in his hands. "Get him out of your head. I know it's hard but listen to me. When you and he ended, your life didn't. You still have so much and I know you do need time to get better from this but I am right here so just focus on me, keep running and get through practice. Think you can do that?"

"Kiss me."

"What?"

"Not like that. But like that. I mean—" I sighed and closed my eyes. "I would feel a lot better if I knew he felt the same way that I do. If he saw me with someone like I see him with someone."

"You want me to... kiss you?"

"Yes. Please, just to make him jealous."

He laughed softly but then tilted his head and pressed his lips to mine. They were soft... _his_ lips, I mean. They were soft and the kiss was nice but it was nothing compared to Fred.

Fuck.

Nick was right. I really were going to compare everything to him. Fuck Nick and fuck his stupid knowledge.

Seth and I moved together, his nose pressed against my cheek as our lips moved in sync. His hands were still cupping my jaw one of my hands ran to the side of his neck and the other went to his back.

We didn't pull apart until we heard a howl. Nate was standing a couple feet away from us, howling at us and when we looked at him, we saw both he and Callie.

"I knew it!" Callie smiled. "I always felt the tension."


	11. Chapter 11

Seth and I had to explain to our friends that we only kissed to make Fred jealous. To make him feel what I felt when I saw him with Angelina. First they didn't believe us, but then they did. Practice ended at ten pm that night, lasting two hours like usual when we had practice on weekdays. Next practice would be on Saturday, all the way from after breakfast to lunch and then again from after lunch to dinner.

After practice, I got some stuff from my dormitory, then took a bath in the prefect bathroom. I slept well that night. The next morning, Hannah Abbott and Susan Bones got ready before Melba, Callie and I so when we got ready, we had the room for ourselves, which meant we acted like we always did. We danced around the room as we sang this song that we all funnily enough had stuck in our brains.

When we left our dorm and entered the common room, Seth sat on the back of the sofa while Nate was lying in a chair, legs over the back of it and Nick was explaining something, making wild hand gestures.

"Good morning." I smiled widely as I made my way over and jumped up to sit next to Seth. He looked at me with a faint smile.

"Morning. You're in a good mood. 'Cause I'm a great kisser, am I right?"

"No." I chuckled. "I mean, you're not bad but... no."

"Not bad." he scoffed. "I'm gonna act like you didn't just damage my ego."

"Can we go now?" Melba pouted. "I'm _really_ hungry."

"Me too." Callie said while Nate gut up from the chair and wrapped his arms around her waist, placing his chin on her shoulder. "I'm basically _starving."_

When we walked up from the Hufflepuff basement, we continued up to the ground floor along with some Slytherins who came from the Slytherin dungeon. Callie and Nate were holding hands, fingers intertwined and I found myself once again, wishing Fred and I were still together, that he hadn't cheated and that I had him to hold hands with.

Melba probably saw how I looked at their intertwined hands, 'cause suddenly she grabbed _my_ hand and intertwined _our_ fingers.

"You know what?" She asked as she looked at me. "It's Fred's loss, really."

"Then why does out feel like it's _my_ loss?" I asked. "Am I not supposed to hate him?"

"No." she shook her head. "You're supposed to feel whatever you are feeling. It's alright to miss him, to still love him. After all, he's your first love and you were together for nineteen months."

"Nineteen long and amazing months." I breathed and Melba chuckled softly.

"Fucking dykes!" a voice shouted from somewhere in the hallway. Melba and I automatically let go of each other's hands as we turned around to see Adrian Pucey walk towards us.

"What did you say?" Nate asked and let go of Callie to step towards Pucey. "Say it again? I didn't hear you."

"Oh, you didn't hear me?" Pucey pressed before he looked towards Melba and I. "Dykes."

"Nate!" Melba shouted when he grabbed onto the collar of Pucey's shirt to pull him up to his own level.

"You know, isn't it crazy that two girls can hold hands without being called a slur?" Nate asked. "And isn't it crazy that you feel the need to comment on someone's sexuality even though it's got nothing to do with you?"

"Nate, just let go of him." Melba sighed as she stepped closer to him. "It's fine. I'm used to it."

"That doesn't make it okay." I spoke. "You shouldn't have to be used to something like that."

"This is all very touching." Pucey said. "But can you let go of me now? I'd like to get to breakfast and I'm sure the dykes would like top–"

Before he could finish the sentence, Nate punched him in the jaw, letting go of him so that he fell to the floor with a groan.

"That felt fucking fantastic." Nate turned towards the rest of us with a smile plastered on his lips. "Right. Breakfast... shall we?"

He threw his arm around Callie's neck and the twos started making their way to the Great Hall with Nick following close behind, talking about how amazing that was of Nate.

I looked at Pucey as he pulled himself to his feet and awkwardly made his way back to his friends that were laughing and mocking him for getting punched by a Hufflepuff.

"That was... something." Seth breathed. "I mean... if Nate hadn't, I would totally have punched him myself."

"Sure." Melba nodded and patted his chest before she followed behind the rest of our friends. "You totally would."

"Wha–" Seth turned to me and I laughed softly, crossing my arms over my chest. "I could've punched him!"

"You could." I agreed, raising my eyebrows at him. "But you wouldn't. If you _did_ decide to throw in a punch, I'm sure you'd leave a bruise but you're a big softie, Seth. You'd never hurt a fly."

He rolled his eyes at me and I made my way past him, walking towards the Great Hall with him following behind a few feet back. The food was already served, filling up the middle of every table. Melba had already grabbed a pancake when I sat down across from her and next to Nate.

"Did you know that for like two hundred years ago, Hogwarts didn't have any toilets?" Nick asked once Seth sat down on my other side.

"What?" Callie laughed but her face then dropped. "Wait... how were the students then supposed to use the bathroom?"

"They simply shat themselves and vanished the evidence." Nick explained and Melba choked on a piece of pancake, quickly swallowing it down with some juice.

"Nick, _please_. I am _eating."_

"Then stop eating." he shrugged. Melba looked at him as he was stupid but he ignored it and continued. "I read it in a book in the library. The Wizarding world first adapted to the muggle world plumbing methods in the eighteenth century so before that, people simply peed and shat where they stood, then used a spell to make it vanish."

"That's fucking disgusting." I said as my face scrunched up at the thought.

"Wait but wasn't the indoor plumping invented in the nineteenth century?" Seth asked. "And not in the eighteenth?"

"Yes, that's true but I never mentioned toilets, did I?" Nick asked. "I said plumbing methods. The muggle world used pots to shit in during the nights, then emptied it the next morning and if they had to go during the day, they usually had a shed outside with this seat leading down to a bucket."

"Can you stop saying shit?" Nate asked as he reached for a pancake himself. "It's not very nice to hear about during breakfast."

"Oi! I remember a few days ago when you went into details about how you made Callie cum."

"You're right." I broke into the conversation. "Nate's talking about orgasms, you're talking about shit, meaning we should all probably watch what we talk about during a meal so we can actually eat without wanting to throw it up."

"I'm with Jules on this one." Callie said. "I would really like not talking about shit... or how my boyfriend makes me cum."

Nate snickered but mumbled an 'Ow' when Callie punched his arm. Seth held up his hand to talk, then pointed at Nate. "Any advice? You see, I'm trying to up my body count this year and–"

"Oh my god!" I groaned loudly. "Stop talking about sex!"

The Great Hall went silent, making me realise how loud I had been speaking. As every other student turned to look towards our group, including Fred, my friends broke into laughter that filled the four walls of the room. I sighed and awkwardly hit my face in my hands as I sunk down a bit.

"You're just pissed that you're not getting some." Seth smirked, reaching over me to grab a croissant while the room was filled with chatter again. "I'm sure there are a lot of guys who would want to bang you but you'd be too awkward to make it happen."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's supposed to mean that you would be way too awkward and nervous to get any guy hard. The only one you've been with is Fred."

"That's not true! I had sex in July!"

My friends went quiet. Yep, I had not told them that. I didn't think I'd even bring it up. It was just some muggle boy at a club I snuck into because I got bored. I would never have done such thing before I met Fred but then he pulled me out of my shell and now I'm completely confident in my own skin and way more bold than before.

"You had sex?" Callie asked. "As in penis meets vagina?"

"Or vagina meets vagina?" Melba asked. "Cause trust me. That's way better."

"Not when you're straight." Callie argued and in response, Melba flipped her off.

"We all know Jules isn't straight." she told her. "She swings both ways. Right, Jules?"

"Well." I shrugged. "I haven't exactly labeled myself as anything and I'm not planning on it either. I like who I like but in July, it was a guy and I think he was at least twenty."

That made Nick choke on his pumpkin juice. The rest of us looked at him as he coughed. Callie who sat between him and Melba, hit him on the back to help him feel better and it seemed to help after a moment or two.

"You just turned seventeen in June and the very next month you go and have sex with a freaking adult?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "It was dumb, really. I was trying to get back at Fred but he obviously weren't there and sex is way more exciting with someone who's _not_ a muggle."

Silence.

"Didn't we just agree to stop talking about sex when we're eating?" Callie proceeded to ask. "Let's talk about something else. Nick, give us your top three food. Go!"

"Pepperoni Pizza!" he hurried to say, holding up one finger. "Every single type of salad pizza."

He held up another fine and I couldn't help but chuckle at how serious he looked about it, though it makes sense. Nick is _very_ serious when it comes to pizza.

"And pineapple pizza!"

"That's your top three foods?" Nate asked with a raised eyebrow. "I wonder how you're not fat."

"Hey!"

"And pineapple? Seriously?" Melba asked. "That does _not_ belong on pizza."

"Yes it does." Nick frowned. "Seth. Agree with me. We share a pineapple pizza now and then."

"Yeah. Pineapple on pizza is great." Seth agreed. "Just like pizza with mushrooms."

I fake gagged, shaking my head violently. "I have to barf. Mushrooms are disgusting. They taste so weird and they feel all spongy in your mouth. No thank you. But pineapple on pizza? Fucking amazing."

"You are all delusional!" Callie argued. "Pineapple on pizza is the most disgusting thing ever. It's even worse than mushrooms and I don't like those either."

They all continued to argue about pineapple on pizza and I listened in with a smile on my lips. Then it all stopped and all ten eyes landed on something above my head. Then I felt someone lean down and a familiar hand was placed right next to my plate on the table. My smile dropped when I realised who it was and instead, I gulped.

"I need to talk to you." his chilling voice sounded. I could feel his breath against my ear, making me realise just how close he actually was.

"Yeah?" I breathed, turning my head slightly to the side where Seth sat. I couldn't see Fred's face but I got a glimpse of his robes and his scent hit my nose. "No you don't."

"Jules."

"Freddie." I mocked. "Where would you even want to school? You know we can't leave the Great Hall during breakfast meals and I am not about to stand in a corner with you."

"Jesus, Julie. I don't really give a crap about the rules." he told me. Of course he didn't. I knew that. He's Fred Weasley. He and his brother play pranks on teachers and the students. He was a rule breaker.

"Do you see this?" I asked and took the head girl badge off my robes to show him. "This means that I care about the rules, so go back to your girlfriend and leave me to eat my breakfast."

The hand on the table closed into his fist and he let out a quite hum as he leaned in closer, lips brushing past my earlobe with made me inhale sharply. I closed my eyes, sighing when I realised I just openly showed how pathetic I am under his touch. "Fine. I'll just find you later then."

He straightened up and I watched him with my eyes as he made his way back to his table. Then I looked around at my friends who all wanted to say something about it.

"Fine. Let it out. Make fun of me."

"Can I go first?!" Seth held up a hand, then turned towards me. "You looked like you were on the edge of an orgasm just by him being that close to you."

I rolled my eyes.

"You looked like his touch hurt you." Seth continued to laugh. "Like you were in so much pain... _sexually."_


	12. Chapter 12

"What do you get if you add six snake fangs, dried nettles, four horned slugs, two porcupine quills, pungous onions, Flobberworm Mucus, ginger root and shrake spines?" Professor Snape asked as he walked back and forth at the front of class. "Mr Crane?"

"What?" Nick sat up straight. "Uh... cure for boils."

"Turns out you aren't as brainless as I thought." Snape spoke as he stopped and turned towards the class. "Get your books out. You will be working in twos to make the cure for boils."

I automatically scooted closer to Seth as we always worked together while Nate worked with Callie and then Melba and Nick. Seth pulled his book out and placed it in front of me but we were interrupted when professor Snape spoke again.

"After the little _stunt_ on Tuesday, I'll have to split up the joined twins over here." he said as he approached Fred and George. "Weasley one, you go sit with Miss Pegas and Weasley number two, you work with Mr Doe."

I sighed. Fred was twin number one. That was his name when it came to Snape. I didn't want to work with _him._

"Professor Snape?" I asked as I raised my hand in the air. Professor Snape let out a very dramatic sigh as he turned towards me and raised his eyebrows in a challenging way as he waited for me to speak. "Can I have Weasley twin number two, please? I really don't want to be working with the other one."

"Oh, you don't?" he asked. "Well, now that I know you'd prefer not to... no. It will be as I said."

Seth laughed softly as he leaned closer to me. "Try not to kill him, yeah?"

I glared at him, watching him stop and grab his stuff while he made his way towards George while Fred made his way towards me. Angelina was glaring at me in a way more cruel way than the way I glared at Seth. She hated me. Well, I _had_ been dating her current boyfriend.

"You're lucky." Fred spoke as he sat down next to me, his arm brushing past mine due to how close the chairs stood. I moved mine a few inches away from him, causing him to look at me as he placed his book on the table and opened it.

"Why is that?"

"Well, potions are my speciality."

I pulled my own book out of my bag and placed it in front of me. "Yeah. I know. Once upon a time you were my life and just because that's over, doesn't mean I stopped knowing you. Well, no. That's not true. I don't know you."

I could feel his eyes on me as I scrolled through the pages of my book until I found the right recipe. "Right. Do you want to grab the ingredients or shall I?"

As soon as I asked the question, he got up and walked to the shelves. In the meantime, I leaned forwards on the table and hid my face in my hands.

Two hours with Fred. That was going to go _great._ I rubbed my temples as I tried to relax. I just had go get through these hours. Had to do the potion. He was right. Potions is his speciality and I'm quite fond of the class too. I wasn't bad at it either.

I decided to get up and walk over to Fred. He looked at me with a questioning look as I held out my hands. "You can't carry all of the ingredients. Even with four hands, we have to walk twice."

The right corner of his lips tucked upwards into a small smirk as he handed me two jars. One with the snake fangs and one with ginger root.

"Drop the smirk, Weasley." I told him. "I'm a Hufflepuff. When I see someone struggle, I can't walk away."

"And I'm a Gryffindor. I'll–"

"Never ask for help. Trust me, I know." I scoffed before I turned around and walked back to the table with Fred behind me.

"My mum asked why you didn't spend the summer at the Burrow." he said when we both put down the jars. I looked up at him and when our eyes met, I looked away again.

"What did you tell her?" I asked, leading the way back to the shelves. I grabbed a jar of horned slugs, handing it to him and our fingers brushed against each other.

"I didn't tell her anything." he breathed. "I guess I was hoping I'd make you trust me again and get you back."

My jaw clenched at his comment and I didn't respond. I grabbed the jar of porcupine quills, handing it to him as well before I myself grabbed a jar of pungous onions and Flobberworm Mucus. Then I turned towards him. "Fred... we won't ever get back together. What you did...–"

"I know." he interrupted. "I'm starting to realise that. I know I messed up, Jules."

"You did." I nodded. "Though that wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was that after I dumbed you, you stayed with her. It only proved that you don't regret being with her. You wanted her while you were with me."

I sighed. "I can't and I don't _want_ to have this conversation in class."

I walked back to our table, put down the jars and watched as Fred did the same. "We still need the shrake spines."

"I'll go find it." he offered and I nodded slowly, taking my seat on the other side of the table. When Fred got back, he put the jar down and joined me on the chair next to me. "We do need to talk about it."

"Do we?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Yes."

"We've tried. We've tried _so_ many times and you _know_ how it ends. We end up yelling at each other." I reminded him as I reached for the mortar, placing it between us while Fred grabbed the jaw of snake fangs. He got out six of them and opened his hand in front of me, offering for me to do it. I hesitated but grabbed one fang at a time out of the palm of his hand, letting them drop into the mortar. I took the pestle and started crushing the snake fangs. It had to be a fine powder before we could use it.

"Well, I want us to try again." Fred said. "And this isn't some type of trick to win you back–"

"Good. Cause I'm not a prize that needs to be won."

"I never said that." his voice changed into a slight annoyance. "I just... I don't want you to hate me."

"I could never hate you." I said. "But I should. I really _should_ hate you."

"Probably, yeah." he let out a heavy breath. "So you don't hate me, yet you act so hostile all the time. Well, except from when you get yourself undressed in my dorm."

I looked at him.

"It's not you that I hate." I told him. "It's me. I hate me because I know I should hate you, and I don't. I can't. Not after all we've been through together and even after we're broken up, you still make me go crazy."


	13. Chapter 13

"How was I supposed to know that Fred had put Bulbadox powder in the caldron?" Nick asked as my friends and I made our way towards our common room which was only a couple of feet away from the classroom. Though I felt a hand wrap around my wrist, stopping me.

"You said we could talk."

"No." I turned to Fred. _"You_ said we could talk. I never agreed."

"Okay." he frowned. "Well, _can_ we?"

He looked desperate. Miserable. His eyes were focused on me, his slips slightly parted and his eyebrows were grown together in a painful frown.

"Jules!" I heard Callie call. I turned around to look at my friends who all stood by the open entrance to the Hufflepuff basement. "Are you coming?"

"In a minute." I offered a soft smile and they all looked at me for a moment before they continued, the brick wall closing behind them. I turned back to Fred. "Fine. Talk."

"Can we at least go sit on the stairs or something?"

"At least." I scoffed, moving past him. "You're lucky I'm even agreeing on having this talk with you."

I sat down on the second step of the staircase and placed my bag in front of me. Fred made his way towards me, then sat on the step above mine. I felt him brush his hand over my shoulder carefully, causing me to turn my head and look at him. His eyes met mine for a second, then he picked something out of my hair.

"Sorry." he muttered. "You just had some dust."

"Ah-huh." I nodded. "Well, could've not pranked my friends. What did you think would happen by putting Bulbadox powder in their cauldron?"

"Exactly that." he chuckled lightly, then bit his lip when he saw my face. "C'mon. You have to admit that was funny. You even laughed."

I bit the inside of my cheek to not laugh again but I couldn't hold it back and he smiled at the sound that came from me.

"Maybe it was a little funny." I shrugged as I turned towards him and leaned my back against the wall while outstretching my left leg over his feet. "You do realize you're doing the exact same thing to Angelina, that you did to me?"

"What do you mean?"

"You may not be cheating on her physically but you _are_ sitting here with me, trying to I don't know... make me forgive you or something." I said. "That's a step in the direction of cheating but just so you know, Fred. You won't get anything from me. I don't want you back."

"I broke up with Angelina." He told me and I found myself sighing as I leaned my head back.

_I don't want him back._

_I don't want him back._

_I don't want him—_

"I told you I don't want to be a cheater. It wasn't fair to her that I stayed with her while still being in love with you."

"And it wasn't fair to me that you _fucked_ her while being with me." I said.

"Merlin." He breathed. "Can you stop saying that?"

"What?" I leaned forward, placing a hand on his thigh which made him inhale sharply. " _Fucking?_ You did _fuck_ her, didn't you?"

"No." He told me. He grabbed my wrist and forced my hand off of him, throwing it down next to me while he leaned forward, his face inches from mine. "I didn't _fuck_ her. Not when she was just a friend and not when she was my girlfriend. I have _never_ been with anyone but you and I don't _wish_ to be with anyone but you."

I ran a hand along the side of his neck to the back of his, pulling him closer until his lips brushed past mine.

"Congratulations." I whispered. "You managed to _finally_ make me hate you."

I pushed him away and grabbed my bag as I stood up properly. I looked down as he looked up at me.

"You're a liar, Fred." I spat. "If you're not lying now, you lied back when you told me you slept with her so don't try and convince me that you're a good guy. You're not."

I turned around and hurried down the step, making my way towards the brick wall.

"Jules, please wait!" Fred called and again, he grabbed my wrist but this time when I turned around, he pulled me close by the side of my neck and attached his lips to mine.

Warmness and a tingling sensation immediately spread from his lips to mine and I couldn't resist. I wasn't strong enough to pull away. I had always loved kissing him. It was my favorite thing to do when we were together so getting to do that after so long.

_What am I saying?_

I pulled back roughly and slapped him across the face.

Oh fuck. I was crying. "Why are you doing this to me? You can't just kiss me and expect for everything to be okay. That's not how it works!"

He didn't say anything as I turned towards the brick wall and tapped the correct rhythm, then entered, the wall closing behind me.

No one ever dared to go near the fireplace area when my friends and I were in the common room. Everyone knew it was our place and that's exactly where my friends sat right now.

"I hate him." I said as I walked into the middle of the three sofas, continuing to the one where Nick sat alone. "He's a fucking jerk and I absolutely hate him."

I threw myself down next to Nick and Seth sat up straight as he looked at me. "What did he do? Jules, _what_ did he _do?"_

"He fucking kissed me." I cried, sinking into the seat, my bag falling to the floor. I leaned my head back and crossed my arms over my chest. "He told me he broke up with Angelina, that he never fucked her and then he kissed me."

Silence.

"Alright, so you're telling us that you're sad... angry, I don't even know.. because Fred, the love of your life... told you that he's not with the girl you hate seeing him with anymore. He never slept with her, meaning you're still the only one he's had sex with and that uh... he kissed you? The love of your life..." Nate looked confused.

"Why are you making it sound like I'm being dramatic?" I asked, wiping my cheeks.

"Cause you kinda are."

Callie slapped him on the chest and he let out an 'Ow' as he looked at her with even more confusion on his face.

"I'm not being dramatic!" I argued. "He's not with her anymore because according to him, he's not a cheater and—"

"Well, he isn't? He never slept with her."

"Nate!" Callie snapped before sighing and taking her forehead in her hand. "You just don't get it, do you?"

"Well what is there to get? She had him right at the end of her hand. She can literally reach for him, grab him and have him back and she's crying for... what?"

"You're a dick!" I told him as I stood up. "He's lying! Why would he tell me that he slept with her if it wasn't true? Either he was lying back then or he's lying now. And kissing me while knowing how much I love him... that I can't resist him."

Nate looked at me, then slowly looked to Seth. "Okay, what am I missing? If it was me in that situation with Callie, I would be like; _heck yeah. I've got my girlfriend back."_

"Yeah." Seth scratched the back of his neck. "I don't quite get it either. Girls will always be... wait what's the opposite of understandable?"

"Aren't you supposed to be smart?" Melba asked.

"You're looking for the word; _incomprehensible."_ Nick told him. "Remember it. You might have to use it again."

"Oh shut up." Seth scoffed, flipping him off. "Jules, love. Just forget about him if it upsets you so much."

"How is she supposed to do that?" Melba asked. "She shares almost every class with him."

"You know what?" I sighed and picked up my bag. "I'm gonna spend my free lesson in the library. Maybe I can get some homework done."


	14. Chapter 14

"But isn't Snape kinda hot?" Callie whispered from next to me as we were in potions again the very next Tuesday. "I mean. Hot in like a _supervillain-kinda-way."_

"What?" I laughed, my eyes flicking from her to Snape who sat behind his desk. "You're delusional."

"No." Melba shook her head. She sat at the other side of the table in the middle of Nick and Seth with George on the other side of Seth. "I'm gay and even _I_ would like to bone him."

"Don't say bone." Callie scrunched her nose in disgust.

"Oh, so I can't say bone but you and Nate can talk about orgasms during meals?" Melba raised her eyebrows. "And Nick can talk about wizards who used to shit themselves and vanish the evidence afterwards? But I can't say _bone?"_

"Exactly." Callie smiled. "I'm so happy you get it."

"There's something called sarcasm, dumb-ass." Melba scoffed.

"Oh really? I thought it was called _orgasm."_ Callie stuck up her middle finger at Melba who repaid the favor.

"I'll _give you_ an orgasm if you don't stop _touching the cauldron!"_ Nate basically roared the last part as he grabbed both of Callie's hands. "You're gonna burn yourself."

"Wait? Why would I _stop_ touching it after an offer like that? You know I can't say no to an orgasm."

" _Why_ are you once _again_ discussing orgasms?" I asked. "And in potions?"

I lifted my glass of water that George had brought me, and took a sip. Fred was sitting next to me. Snape had told us that this rule with Fred being with me and George being with Seth was going to be all year because he didn't want to see the twins get into any trouble... so I was stuck with my ex boyfriend and the glares I from his latest girlfriend.

"Orgasms are the best." Callie informed me. "Don't you think, Jules?"

"Yes. I've had _quite_ a few." I said but instantly regretted it. My eyes widened and so did Fred's as my friends plus George laughed.

I did not intent to say that out loud. With embarrassment, I raised the glass to my lips and took another sip.

"That was blunt." Nick commented with a frown on his face.

Basically, right now we were all just waiting for our potions to brew which took about an hour and we were forced to just sit and wait without having anything to do than chat.

"Can I ask you a question?" Seth asked me as a small smirk appeared on his face, eyes focused on me. I felt Fred tense up next to me. Gosh. He was still jealous from when he saw us kiss. He had no right to be though. He hadn't been my boyfriend for a long time.

"Sure." I nodded. "Unless it's a dumb one. I really don't want to hear another one of your dumb questions."

"My questions aren't dumb!" He argued. "My questions are—"

He stopped when he saw the unimpressed look on my face.

"Right. This question is actually for all of you. Just something to get the time going... y'know. The freakiest place you've had sex."

Oh geez.

"That's easy!" Nate scoffed. "The prefect bathroom."

"How is that freaky?" Melba asked.

"Well because we obviously don't have access to it." Callie said. "But Julie has it written in her notepad."

"Wait what?" I frowned and looked at her. "You stole the password?"

"Right—" Seth nodded. "That's still not very freaky. You see, the freakiest place I've had sex was at the black lake with a very pretty Slytherin girl."

"The black lake?" George asked. "Hopefully you weren't seen by any merpeople."

"Oh, even if they did, they would've gotten quite a show." Seth said with a smug grin. "How about you, J?"

"Oh, me?" I asked, nervously moving the glass around in my hand before lifting it and taking a sip. "Quidditch field."

The table went quiet and Fred sighed as he brought a hand to his forehead.

_Why Julie? Why did you just say that?_

"You two had sex on the Quidditch field?" Nate asked and pointed between Fred and I.

"Yes."

"No!"

Fred and I looked at each other before I looked at the cauldron. "Why can't I lie? Why am I—"

My eyes drifted up to George who bit back a laugh, then I glanced at my glass and let out an unamused laugh.

"George." I tutted. "You look a little thirsty. Maybe you should have some of my water."

I moved the glass towards the middle of the table and he looked at it before shrugging. "No thanks."

"Now, tell me. How much did you put in it?" I asked. "How much Veritaserum?"

"Oh, only a few drops." He shrugged. "It's no biggie."

"No biggie?!" I hissed in a whisper. "I just reveled where I had sex with your _brother."_

"And it was bloody hilarious." He laughed along with my friends.

"Now, tell me Jules. Was the sex any good?" Nate asked.

"Oh boy." Fred muttered.

I bit my lip, trying my hardest not to answer that. Though the words just wanted to come out and in the end, me trying to hold it back, didn't help.

"The best I've ever had." I blurted, quickly clamping a hand over my mouth.

"How is that?" Nate pressed. "I mean. You and Fred have done the deed a lot of times. What made that time different."

"It was rougher." I muttered into the palm of my hand.

"Huh? What was that?"

Callie removed my hand, keeping both of the down.

"It was rougher." I repeated to his question while I closed my eyes and waited for it to stop. For them to stop. This was torture. I would gladly have given them details if it wasn't for my ex boyfriend next to me.

"And?" Nate asked. "Is there another reason to why it was the best sex you've ever had?"

"The thrill of getting caught." I blurted again. I was going to kill them. I was actually going to murder them. They really had to watch out for themselves tonight when they were sleeping. I was going to show up by their bed with a knife. No, my wand. I was gonna kill them with the killing curse.

"Well, looks like we won't need to ask you the same question, Fred." Nate grinned. "I got _my_ answers."

"Wait! I have a question!" Nick exclaimed. "Jules... pineapple on pizza? Yes or no?"

"Seriously?" Melba groaned as she shoved him in the shoulder.

"I've already said yes." I told him. "I don't need a truth serum for that."

Fred was awfully quiet. He was before but now it felt like his silence filled more, and I kept glancing at him.

"What?" He asked, eyes landing on me.

"What?" I asked back. "You're just... _strange."_

"You just told everyone at this table— six people where we had sex and that it was rougher. How am I supposed to say anything after that?"

I scoffed. "Did you _miss_ the part where your brother drugged me? It's not like I had a choice to keep quiet."

"Oh he's just pissed because he hasn't gotten any action since May." George said, causing everyone to now look at him. "What? That's when they last had sex. I'm not _stupid."_

"Well. Won't ever happen again, that's for sure." I said as I stood up. I grabbed my book while grabbing my bag at the same time.

"Where're you going?" Melba asked. "You can't just walk out of potions."

I ignored her and headed for the door.

"Miss Pegas." Snape's voice sounded as I placed a hand flat against the door. "Get back to your seat."

"I need to use the restroom." I said.

"Not without permission. Get back to your seat." He repeated and now I turned around to look at him.

"Sir, it's an emergency." I said, giving him a certain look to tell him what I meant. He looked at me for a moment, then he frowned in disgust and turned away.

"Carry on."


	15. Chapter 15

"Alright, I need to know when we'll be coming back because I've got—" my words were being suffocated by the toothbrush in my mouth but I completely stopped in my tracks and stopped myself from continuing to talk when I saw who was in our common room. "Why're they here? Who let them in?"

"Oi!" George exclaimed. He placed a hand against his heart as he acted like I just hurt him badly. "I'm gonna act like you didn't just say that."

"Well, apparently they'll be joining us for Hogsmeade." Seth said with an eye roll.

"You look... charming." Nate eyed me up and down and I flipped him off before heading back to the bathroom. I flushed and wiped my mouth before joining them in the common room again.

"Someone could've warned me." I said. "I'm wearing my pajamas."

"Who're you trying to impress?" Fred asked, causing my eyes to land on him. His hands were pushed into his pockets and he had a look on his way that I knew too well. He was in a playful mood, though I was not.

"Not you. _That's_ for sure." I scoffed, eyeing him up and down. He was wearing a pair of black trousers and a blue flowery button-up shirt. "Who're _you_ trying to impress? I'm genuinely asking... both of you."

I pointed between Fred and George.

"Cause you're wearing the same. Just... different colours."

"Well you of course." George grinned widely. "We have a very important question to ask you and we thought the shirts might help."

 _"He_ thought that." Fred said, pointing at his younger twin with his thumb, though his tone came off as annoyed, he was still smiling. "He forced me to wear this and it's _his_ question, not mine."

"Whatever." George rolled his eyes in the same playful way that Fred did at times. "It's actually more on behalf of our mum."

"I'm not coming to the Burrow for Christmas." I said. When he mentioned his mum, it had been pretty obvious what the question was. "I'm sorry but it wouldn't be a very good idea."

"I get it." George nodded after a moment. "I was only passing on a message from my mum."

I moved the toothbrush around between my fingers before my eyes flickered to Fred. I took a step forward, then another and I didn't stop until I stood right in front of him, my head tilted back so I could look at his face.

"Tell your mum that we broke up." I said. "Don't let her think that I'm the reason for not showing up anymore. Tell her or I will. I just _know_ that she would want to hear it from you."

Then I turned around and walked down the tunnel to the girls dormitories. A whole day with Fred? Wonder what could go wrong there.

"Fuck!" Callie cursed when I entered the dorm. The was standing in a skirt and her bra."I thought you were Nate for a second."

"Do I look like Nate?" I laughed while I pushed the door closed behind me and made my way to my dresser while unbuttoning my pajamas shirt.

"He's been trying to get sex from me." She explained. "He comes in here every fifteenth minute, tells me how sexy I look and then he scowls when I reject him."

I glanced at her. I let the shirt fall off my shoulders and I caught it before putting it on top of the dresser. "Is that why he's being annoying?"

"Probably."

She pulled on a plan white t-shirt and then walked towards the door while pulling her blonde curls out from under the shirt. I went through my top drawer for a shirt but then Callie gasped and I looked at her.

Fred stood on the other side of a door, a fist up as if he was about to knock.

"Fred, _what_ are you doing?"

"I uh— wanted to talk to Julie and I didn't want to just walk in." He said, his eyes then landing on me. I quickly covered myself up with my pajamas top as I was standing in my bra and a pair of shorts.

"Make it short." Callie told him. "I'm still not completely okay with your after you broke her heart."

She walked past him and he walked in, closing the door silently behind him.

"You do _realize_ my boobs are technically exposed." I said as I continued to hold the shirt in front of me.

"It's nothing I haven't seen before." He said and _that_ playful look was back on his face. I flipped him off, then turned my back to him again and put my shirt on the dresser as I continued my search for something to wear.

Saturday's meant no uniform which I absolutely loved. I could wear the clothes I felt the most comfortable in. "You wanted to talk to me?"

"Yes." He breathed and I felt him move closer to me. "Wanted to talk to you without your friends and my brother listening in."

"Then talk." I turned around and gasped as he was way closer than I had expected. So _fucking_ close.

Like, _bodies-touching_ close. _That_ close.

"What're you doing?" I gulped, staring into his chest. His hand came up to pick up the necklace in his hand. It was my initial.

He let the necklace drop back against my skin but his fingers stayed on my skin. He slowly dragged them down over my collarbone and continued down my cleavage, hooking his finger around the small bow on my bra.

"I don't know." He breathed. I tilted my head back to look up at him. His eyebrows had grown together into a frustrated frown. "I miss being close to you."

I let out a whimper and his eyes flicked up to my face as his finger unhooked from the bow. Instead his hand dropped to my waist which he carefully grabbed. "I miss touching you."

What I did next was definitely not a moment of sanity. Sane Julie had left the building and aroused Julie had entered.

I bucked my hips up against his. A groan came from his lips as he grabbed the edge of the dresser and the sound that came from him only turned me on more.

"Do that again." He whispered. His lips were so close to mine and I could feel his hot breath against my face. I repeated the action and a moan escaped my lips when my centre came in contact with his hard one. " _Jules."_

He softly kissed the corner of my lips and as soon as he did, I ran a hand to the back of his neck and turned my head a little to kiss him properly.

Kissing him like this again felt like feeding your addiction to drugs. Not that I do drugs, because I don't. Some kind of adrenaline shot through my body as we exchanged body heat. My nails dig into his neck, trying to pull him closer.

I hated myself for doing this but I absolutely loved the feeling of having him this close again. Fred's tongue ran across my bottom lip and I parted my lips to let his tongue in. His met mine and he groaned against me.

"Touch me." I whispered into his mouth. He broke the kiss to look at me.

"Are you sure?"

With a nod, I grabbed onto his right hand which was gripping the edge of the dresser, and slowly guided it down over the skin of my stomach. I looked into his eyes. We were both panting slightly and as I pushed his hand into my pajamas shorts and then my knickers, he took control.

His fingers found my clit and he moved them in circular motions as both my hands grabbed onto the edges of the dresser, eyes rolling back into my skull and my mouth fell open.

"Freddie." I whimpered. He took one step closer to me, parting my legs with his knee. He ran his fingers through my folds and then suddenly inserted two fingers at once. I arched my back off the dresser and buried my face in his shoulder so I could moan without my friends or George hearing it in the common room.

"How does it feel?" He whispered in my ear before he bit onto my earlobe gently. He knew I liked that. "Tell me how it feels, darling. How it feels in your stomach."

"Fuck." I groaned into his shoulder as my left arm went around his neck. "So good. So _fucking_ good."

I bucked my hips to meet his hand at the same time as he sucked the skin under my ear. His thrusting became as fast as it _could_ get with the space being restrained from my knickers and my pants.

His fingers kept curling when they thrusted into me and it felt like my knees became jelly when he brushed past my g-spot.

"Please." I whimpered, throwing my head back. "Fred, _please."_


	16. Chapter 16

"I can't believe we just did that."

I rubbed my hands over my face as I leaned back against the dresser after he had brought me to an orgasm with his fingers and I had gotten him off with my mouth.

Tell me again why I didn't stop it? Why I let this happen? I was in too deep now. I was trying to get away from him and get over him but now I had to start over.

"Fuck." I whispered. I turned around and pulled my drawer out to find myself something to wear. "Need to change my fucking knickers too."

A snicker came from Fred and when I looked at him, he was eyeing me with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Why're _you_ being so cocky?" I asked. "This will never happen again. You _still_ cheated on me."

"And you still came on my fingers."

"And you in my mouth." I shot back. I opened another drawer and grabbed a clean pair of knickers that I didn't just _cum_ in. "And _you_. Either you leave the room or you close your eyes."

He leaned back on my bed and closed his eyes but the grin never left his face and I let out a sigh.

I raised my middle finger at him while making a face.

"I know what you're doing."

"Fuck." I cursed. I pulled down my pajamas pants along with my knickers, then pulled the clean pair on. I turned around and my eyes landed on Fred whose eyes were opened and focused on me. "You're a fucking pervert."

"Am I?" He cocked an eyebrow. "Nineteen months of dating and you figure that out... _now?"_

"I hate you." I spat before I turned back around and quickly stepped into a pair of baggy black jeans.

"No you don't."

He was right. I _really_ didn't. I decided to ignore him as I found a black t-shirt with some Muggle movie on it and pulled it on. I got in a pair of converse shoes and then brushed my hair before I grabbed my wand and turned towards Fred, pointing it at him.

"Out."

He swung his legs over the edge of my bed and stood up before he made his way towards me. He grabbed my wand from my hand and reached behind me. I focused on his face as he made eye contact with me and slid my wand into my back pocket.

"After you, _love."_ He said and opened the door, waiting for me to walk out. I did and continued down the tunnel to the common room. George and Nick was sitting on a sofa, stuck in some deep conversation with an annoyed Melba sitting between them.

Nate sat in a chair with Callie straddling him as they were making out. Nothing new there.

Then there was Seth. He was standing with his arms folded as he stared at the painting of Helga Hufflepuff. He was frowning and he looked confused.

"Heeey Seth." I approached him, placing an arm on one of his shoulders. "What're you doing?"

"I'm just wondering— I mean, I've only ever been in the Gryffindor common room but they don't have a portait of Godric Gryffindor, do they?"

"We do not." Fred said as he walked over to sit down. "And Slytherin doesn't have one of Salazar Slytherin either."

"You've been in the Slytherin common room?" I looked at Fred, then sighed. "Course you have. Tell me again, why did we ever date?"

"You mean, why a goody two-shoes like yourself went out with someone who enjoys _breaking_ the rules?" He raised an eyebrow. "Well, you see Jules, I believe in something called _opposites attract."_

"What did you call me?" I turned towards him. "A goody two-shoes?"

An amusing smirk spread on his face as he knew he had just pissed me off with calling me that.

"Yeah. She's definitely not that." Melba said. "She's smoking which I by the way find disgusting. She could get expelled for that."

"And she got drunk on school grounds." Seth added. "Plus... the whole _sex-on-the-pitch_ thing. I don't think that's legal either."

"Yeah well the way that got revealed wasn't legal either." Fred spoke. "She got drugged... by my _brother."_

"Hey!" George exclaimed. "I did not know that the pitch thing was even a _thing."_

A pair of fingers ran across the side of my neck and I flinched before I looked at Seth who looked at my neck with a frown on his face.

"What're you doing?"

"You're— you've got a bruise."

I quickly clasped a hand over my neck as I looked down and remembered how Fred had sucked on my skin right where my soft spot was.

"Oh c'mon." Callie groaned. She was no longer making out with Nate, just sitting on him as they both looked towards me and Seth. "Fred went in there to talk and you come out with a bruise?"

My eyes flicked to Fred in the sofa who had an annoying smirk on his face while trying to hide it with his hand.

"Why—" I made my way towards him, grabbing one of the throw pillows on my way. I started hitting him with it while he shrieked in a high-pitched tone and tried to protect his face. "...do you _have to_ mark everything?!"

"Should we stop her?" Nick asked.

"No." George responded, his grin visible from his tone. "Let her continue. I bet she's been wanting to do that for a while."

I kept hitting him with the pillow until he suddenly grabbed onto it, stopping my actions and then he pulled himself to his feet, hovering over me due to the height difference.

"Are you finished?" Fred asked me as he let go of the pillow. I stared up at him for a moment before I hit him again.

"Now I am."

I threw the pillow on the sofa but I never took my eyes off of his face. "I hate you."

"No you don't."

"Can we go to Hogsmeade now?" Melba asked. "I really want some chocolate frogs."

"Yes." I breathed, then ripped my eyes off of Fred. "I just need to go get my money."

I walked back into my own dorm and got down on the floor to pull my box out from under my bed. That's where I kept my money.

My friends and I visit Hogsmeade multiple times during a school year but this annual thing was my friends _plus_ Fred and George.

"Jules? Baby? Love? Darling?"

I looked towards the door where Callie stood with her arms folded and a sweet smile on her lips.

"What?" I laughed. "What do you want?"

"Who says I want anything?" She scoffed, moving further into the room. "Can't i just come in here and talk to my best friend? My _bestie."_

I got up on my knees as I looked at her. "You're speaking in that high-pitched tone. You want something."

She bit her lip as she dropped onto my bed, and then she let out a dramatic sigh. "Fine. I wanted to ask if I could borrow some money."

"How much?" I asked as I lifted the box onto the bed.

"Just like... twenty galleons."

"Twenty galleons?!" I nearly screamed. "What— what are you trying to buy? A new wand?!"

"I was only joking!" She held up her hands in defense. "Five galleons?"

I nodded slowly and gave her the money before grabbing some myself, then I closed my box and pulled it back under the bed.

"Shall we get going?" I asked and pulled myself up. "Come. Get your dirty feet off my bed and let's go."


	17. Chapter 17

The air surrounding Hogsmeade was chill this time a year. It was late October so of course it wouldn't be hot outside, plus we were in Scotland, meaning the weather was kinda shitty most of the time. The streets of Hogsmeade were full of mostly students, third year and up. In your first and second year, you aren't allowed to leave Hogwarts during the weekends. I remember starting my third year. My friends and I were all so excited to finally go shop here. And shop we did. We brought a lot of candy back to our common room.

"I want to get a look at some quills." Nate said. "I might or might not have broken mine in History of Magic two days ago."

"How do you keep breaking your quills?" Callie asked. "They cost money, Nathaniel. You need to be careful."

"Well I don't know, Calliope. It's not my fault I'm clumsy and tend to drop them."

"Maybe we should have a talk to Mr and Mrs Twig. Tell them they made a very clumsy and irresponsible young man." Seth suggested.

"Maybe I should talk to Mr and Mrs Doe and tell them they made a very rude and annoying little boy." Nate shot back as he got up in Seth's face.

They do this a few times a year. They argue to the point where they sometimes start physically fighting. It's ridiculous... _pathetic._

"Jules! A little assistance please!" Callie called, causing me to look away from the Tomes and Scrolls. Every time we're here, that one catches my eye because it's a bookshop. Callie was trying to hold Nate back as he and Seth were about to start a scene in the streets of Hogsmeade.

Nick and Melba had disappeared to god knows where. With a sigh, I let my bag slide off my shoulder and held it out towards Fred who was right next to me. "Hold my bag."

He automatically grabbed my bag from my hand as I made my way towards Seth and Nate. While Callie kept pulling on Nate, I placed my hands against Seth's chest and pushed him away.

"I don't have bloody time for this." Callie said. "Having you stop you two from fighting wasn't on the list over things I wanted to do today... so Nate, back off or we're through."

His head immediately snapped to the side to look at her and then he grabbed her hand and led her towards Honeydukes.

"He started it." Seth told me with his arms crossed over his chest. I frowned at him, shaking my he'd slightly.

"No. _You_ started it."

"Whatever." he scoffed. "I'll be in the hair salon. I could need a haircut."

I watched Seth walk away before I turned around to face my ex boyfriend and his brother. Yep. I was stuck with them for probably the rest of the day. It was better than being alone anyway.

"Oh, I suddenly remembered that I–"

"No, George don't finish that sentence." I warned him as I stepped closer.

"I have to go buy some potions for Lee." he said but I could tell by his face that he was lying. That this was an excuse for leaving Fred and I alone. "But you too... you used to love looking at books together. I'm sure it'll be fun."

Then he hurried off.

I laughed. Fred looked at me with a raised eyebrow, then I approached him, still laughing softly. I held out my hand and he gave me back my backpack.

If I had to be honest, I wanted to be alone with him but I couldn't admit it. I didn't understand how I let him do what he did this morning after he cheated on me in May. How I could let myself love him and want to spend time with him when he broke my heart.

"Why're you laughing?" Fred asked as I swung my bag over my shoulder. My heart skipped a beat when I looked up and our eyes met. He looked so good and I missed being able to just freely kiss him no matter where we were. Running my hand to the back of his neck, pulling him closer until our lips meet. My other hand pressed to his chest as his arms would be wrapped around my back, holding me against him. "Jules?"

"How do you do it?" I asked, looking at his chest again. "I should hate you but I can't for some reason. Also, I know my friends sometimes act like they hate you but they don't."

"Well." he gently grabbed my chin and lifted my head to look at him. "I guess I'm just a very lovable person."

I scoffed at his comment but I just couldn't stop smiling and at that moment, I found myself wondering if I should just forgive him and ask him to come back to me but I knew that the possibility of him cheating again would be there and I didn't want my heart to get broken again.

"And so are you." He told me. "A _very_ lovable person."

"I'm a Hufflepuff." I commented. "Of course I'm lovable."

He laughed softly, wrinkles forming by his eyes. I loved that. I had always loved the wrinkles when he laughed.

"Alright, I'll be okay with looking at books if that's what you want." He told me and let go of my face. _"Is_ that what you want?"

"Yeah. There's this book I read in the library, right? And it's really good and I just have to have a copy of it myself."

"Let's go then." he said and held out a hand, then quickly dropped it by his side as his smile fade. "Sorry. Old habit."

"It's fine." I shrugged. I led the way into Tomes and Scrolls and Fred followed right behind. It was kinda cold in there. Colder than outside and I had been so stupid not to bring a jacket or a coat. I was wearing a t-shirt and that was about it.

"What's the book called?" Fred asked. "I'll help you look."

"Lolita." I told him while running my hand over the spines of a row of books on the shelf nearest the door. "Written by Vladimir Nabokov."

"Vladimir?" Fred chuckled as he picked up a book and looked at it. "Sounds like a vampire."

"He's not a _vampire."_ I playfully rolled my eyes. "He was a Russian man. A Muggle. Born in eighteen-ninety-nine and died the year before we were born... eighteen years ago."

Fred moved past me, having to place his hands on my hips so he could get past without pushing any books to the floor and my body tensed up at the contact.

"And _how_ do you know that?"

I looked at him, one eyebrow raised. "We literally learned about him and other Muggle authors a week ago in Muggle studies."

"We did? I don't remember."

"Course you don't." I breathed. "You never pay attention in class. All you do is stare at my back."

Fred's eyes widened as he slowly turned to look at me. He opened his mouth to talk but no works came out and then he closed it again.

"Yeah, I notice." I nodded. "And it's not appropriate. We're not together anymore."

"We're not." He agreed. "But you still begged me to let you cum this morning."

I quickly stepped closer to him as I shushed, pressing a finger to my lips. "Could you _be_ a little louder about it."

"I can try—"

I clamped a hand over his mouth when he went to repeat himself louder. I could feel a smile form under my hand as his eyes stared down at mine.

I slowly removed my hand and then noticed that my other hand was gripping onto his shirt.

"Oh, sorry." I muttered, letting go of it. I ran my hand down his chest repeatedly to smooth out the fabric. I glanced up at his face again before I turned back to look at the books.

"What's the book about?" He asked. He was still turned towards me, his eyes focused on me. "This _Lolita_ book."

"Well, it's kinda creepy. I mean, you'd think it's weird if you haven't read it yourself. It's a _really_ good book but yeah... _creepy_."

"Are you gonna tell me the plot or not?" He asked, causing me to chuckle lightly as I glanced at him

"It's about a literature professor who becomes sexually obsessed with this twelve-year-old girl names Dolores Haze or... Lolita as he calls her. He then married her mother to get closer to Dolores."

I looked up at him as he didn't say anything. He stared at me with his eyebrows grown together in confusion.

"The book you want to buy is about a pedophile?"

"It's a good book!" I argued. "Yes, it is creepy and he's a fucking bastard who needs to get Avada Keda— you know..."

He laughed.

"But it's very well written and it shows reality." I said. "It _is_ reality to some people."

"What happens next?"

"Well, the mother finds out about her husbands obsession with her daughter and as she runs out of the house, she accidentally runs in front of a car and gets herself killed which leaves this guy Herbert alone with Lolita. He takes her with him and they drive through America together which is basically what the book is about. He has sex with her in motels and she doesn't even know that her mother is dead, though she finds out eventually."

Fred's eyes scanned the books before he placed his fingers on top of one of them and pulled it out. He took a look at it before he showed it to me. "Is it this one?"

_Lolita._

"That's the one!" I said with a smile as I grabbed him from his hand. "Thank you!"


	18. Chapter 18

"You look like you're about to run inside and steal it." Fred commented as he watched how I looked at the broom through the boutique window. I chuckled, shaking my head.

"I'd buy it if I had the money." I said. "It's much better than the one I have now and I really want to beat you at Quidditch."

I glanced up at him as he smiled widely. "I don't think it's good that I made you this competitive."

"Oh please." I scoffed, turning my body towards him while I folded my arms under my boobs. "You did not make me competitive. You made me confident. Made me believe in myself but I've always been competitive with the people I felt comfortable around."

"Well–" he breathed. "I'm glad I could offer _some_ help instead of just ruining you."

My smile faded and I looked at the broomstick again. It was a Firebolt. I really wanted it but you can't have _everything_ and I'm not exactly rich. My mind wandered back to Fred and what he just said. I mean, he broke my heart but he didn't _ruin_ me. What he did was terrible and I wanted to slap him for it but I was never going to stop loving him and I just missed our times together. Randomly cuddling in one of our commons rooms even though we weren't allowed in any other common room than our own. Our make-out sessions behind a shelf in the library. The sex in the prefect bathroom.

"What are you thinking about?" Fred's voice pulled me back to reality and I tilted my head back to look at him.

"You."

"Oh?"

"I uh–" I ran a hand to the back of my neck and rubbed it as I watched his face. The way his eyes kept flicking from my eyes to my lips. He always did that when I talked. "I need to know the truth."

"What truth?" he asked. "About..."

"Yes." I nodded. "You and Angelina. Whatever happened between you. I need all the details."

"Okay–"

"But I don't know if I would believe you." I admitted. "You have to understand that because of what you did... I don't trust you like I used to."

A silence spread between us as we looked at each other until I broke the eye contact and watched the busy street of Hogsmeade. We had been here for hours and neither of us actually knew where any of the people we came here with were. Maybe they had gone back since I couldn't see any of them and Hogsmeade isn't that big.

"I know." Fred finally said. "And I don't blame you. I just hate myself for doing that to you... though I have an idea."

I looked back up at him. "An idea?"

"Yeah. Come." he extended his hand, looking at me carefully to know whether or not I wanted to grab it, and when I did, he smiled softly before he started leading me towards J. Pippin's Potions. I quickly caught on to what his ideas was.

"You don't have to do this." I assured him when he held the door open for me. He shrugged as he let go of my hand to let me enter the shop, so I did and he followed, the door sliding closed behind him.

"It's what you deserve." he told me. "And I want you to know that if you do decide to give me a second chance, you can trust me."

I watched him as he headed straight for the many types of truth serums. While he picked one and went to pay, I looked at some potions myself. Just to see what kinds there were. I had only ever been in here once before and that was with Fred and George.

There was ageing potions, love potions, babbling potions, invisibility potions. There was so many that would be useful and that I would definitely have fun playing with. Not many minutes passed before I felt Fred walk up next to me and I decided to pick up a potion to show him. "I could use this."

I glanced up at him as a smile spread on my face.

"What do you mean? Your skin's so clear."

"Right now it is." I told him and put the potion down. "You know my skin breaks out when I'm menstruating."

He nodded slowly as he pressed his lips together in a flat line. He always got so awkward when I mentioned my cycle. I mean, he was really sweet when I was on it, got me chocolate and cuddled me for as long as I wanted but talking about it... nope, he did not like that.

"Do you wanna get going or do you want to keep looking at potions that cure acne?"

"I wasn't _just_ looking at that." I said. "I was just seeing what kind of potions they have."

"Uh-huh." he nodded, nodding towards the door as he walked over and opened it. "You decide where you wanna do this."

He had a leg in front of the door, making sure it didn't slam as I walked out. Then I realised just how long we had spent in Hogsmeade. My friends and I started our day off with sneaking food from the kitchen to our common room where we ate it instead of the Great Hall. Then we got ourselves ready and that's when I came out from the bathroom to find Fred and George. We left for Hogsmeade at around ten and now the sun was about to go down and it was a lot colder. I hadn't realised until now when we came out from a shop that was hot and cozy.

"Are you freezing?" Fred asked, closing the door to the shop before he stepped down from the stairs and approached me.

"A little." I shrugged. "It's fine."

"Well why didn't you wear something other than a damn t-shirt?" he asked and handed me the potion to hold before he started taking off his jacket.

"Oh, Fred you don't have to–"

"I might not be able to call you my girlfriend anymore but that doesn't mean I don't love you and want to see you freeze to death." he said as he threw the jacket over my shoulders. I smiled faintly but then stuck my arms through the sleeves and mumbled a small _thank you._

"What about you?" I asked. "I mean, you're wearing a thin dress shirt."

"I'll survive." he said, his hands finding the zipper of the jacket I was now wearing.

"No, Fred... it's not fair that I get to have your jacket and let you freeze." I said and went to unzip the jacket again when he grabbed my hand and forced it away. "Fred–"

"Can you just shut up and keep it on?" he laughed. "We can head back to the castle and get into the room of requirement so you can get those answers you wanted."


	19. Chapter 19

"We haven't been here in such a long time." I said as I leaned back on the bed, spreading my arms and legs.

Every time we snuck into the room of requirement, we always made it out to be my bedroom in the house I grew up with. We did that once because I had a double bed and we wanted to have sex in a bed that wasn't those small ones in the dormitories, so after we just continued using my room.

"I love this bed. It's so comfy." I said as I rolled onto my stomach and closed my eyes. "I could fall asleep right now."

I felt the mattress sink as Fred sat on the edge of it and it made me open my eyes again so I could look at him.

"Alright." I breathed, then sat up and folded my legs on the bed. "Drink up so we can have this conversation."

The opened the vial that he was holding in his hands and hesitated before he threw his head back and drank it. Meanwhile, I studied his jawline and his throat. The way his Adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed, the way his eyes were focused on the ceiling as he drank the liquid.

"Fuck." I cursed, my eyes widening when I realized I just said that out loud when I wasn't meant to. Fred removed the vial from his lips and looked at me.

"What?" He cocked an eyebrow and leaned over, placing the now empty vial on the nightstand.

"Nothing." I breathed. "Alright. Let me test this before I ask the tough questions."

He turned his body towards me, folding his legs on the bed just like I had done.

"Who won the game of wizarding chess in our fourth year on eater here in the castle?" I asked.

This would show me if it worked or not. I had won but he quickly destroyed the evidence and since then, he's told everyone that he was the one who won.

"You did." He sighed with a roll of his eyes. "Can't believe that's what you decided to ask."

"Well, you've refused to say the truth about it for three years." I shrugged. "On to the _real_ questions."

Fred tilted his head like he did when he was focused on listening when someone else talked. This was going to be awkward. I was going to ask questions about when he cheated on me and he had no choice but to tell the truth. I was honestly terrified if he told me something that would break me even more than seeing him kiss her.

I looked down, my eyebrows coming together in a frown when I tried coming up with something to ask first. There was so many things but I didn't know where to start. As I played with the rings in my fingers, moving them around, I let out a sigh.

"Alright... uh, you told me you didn't sleep with her. Was that true?"

"Yes." He said and when I looked at him, he nodded. "You're still the only one I've ever slept with."

_Wish I could say the same._

"Why did you lie?" I asked. "Back in May? You said you slept with her."

"No." He shook his head as he leaned back on his hands, eyes focused on me. "I never said her and I had sex. You asked me if we had and I didn't respond. You just took that as a yes."

That wasn't how I remembered it. I remembered him nodding... but then again, he was unable to lie right now so I must've been the one to get it wrong.

"Oh." I muttered. "I'm sorry. Now I feel so stupid. I've been accusing you off—"

"Don't go soft on me." He told me. "I still kissed her so don't start forgiving me because what I did was still wrong and it still counts as cheating."

"Wasn't going soft on you." I muttered before I looked down at my rings again. "I just feel bad now. I took your silence as a yes. You didn't sleep with her... you just kissed her... and dated her."

I brought a hand up to my face as I let out a shaky breath. My throat tightened. I felt like I was going to cry.

Why? Because I was sitting here with my ex boyfriend and I felt so tired of being apart from him. I wanted nothing more than to have him back but he cheated and I was still heartbroken over it.

"Jules?"

I looked up at my Fred. He looked worry. His eyes were full of concern as he slowly inched closer.

"Don't." I said, maybe a little too harsh. "I still have more questions."

"Okay—" he got back to his former position. "Shoot."

"You kissed her... who initiated it? You or her?"

He sighed and closed his eyes. "I did."

_Ouch._

I felt a sting in my heart and I automatically moved further towards the headboard as further away from him.

"You were the one to kiss her?" I asked, nodding. "Did it feel good... kissing her?"

"Yes."

I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.

"Why did you break up with her?"

"I told you the truth about that." He said. "I broke up with her because I wanted to be better and it wasn't fair on her when you're the one I want."

I scoffed.

"You don't believe me?"

"Of course I believe you." I sighed. "You've taken truth serum. You can't lie."

"Then why did you scoff at me?"

"Cause it's all bullshit." I told him. "This whole situation. Why did you kiss her, Fred? If I'm the one you want, why the hell did you kiss her then?"

He gulped.

"I don't want to say that."

"Well you _have_ to." I said. "It's not like you have a choice. I'll just keep asking yes or no questions and you'll be forced to answer until I hear a yes."

Silence.

"Do you remember that day?" He asked. "We had been fighting. One of the biggest fights we've had and—"

"That doesn't excuse cheating!"

"No it doesn't!" He snapped, his eyes finding mine. "It _really_ doesn't but you asked me so just listen!"

I leaned back and let my legs extend until they laid down straight next to Fred.

"I was upset and she was there. She tried calming me down and she just said all the right things and it happened so fast. I kissed her."

I was starting to tear up. Hearing that was hard. That it was our fight that drove him right into her arms. That _I_ drove him into her arms.

"You enjoyed it." I stated. "You _fucking_ enjoyed it."

"Yes." He breathed. "I'm sorry, Ju—"

"Don't you dare apologize!" I raised my voice as I sat up straight and then got off the bed. "Why did you want me to ask you questions after you took truth serum? To hurt me? Is that it? Why do you think _this_ would make me think I could trust you? Why do you think I would consider giving you a second chance after hearing the truth?!"

I placed my hand on one of the posters of my bed as I leaned in closer, watching him.

"Because even though it was a nice kiss, it didn't feel like it feels to kiss _you."_ He told me. "Sure, kissing Angelina was nice but you... I can't get enough of you..."

He says up on his knees and placed a hand against my jaw, brushing his thumb over my bottom lip. He pulled at it gently as his eyes focused on my mouth.

"— or your lips. Kissing you isn't _nice._ It's like a fucking drug and I can't get enough."

He leaned in and when I realized he was going to kiss me, I stepped back, causing him to almost fall out of the bed if it hadn't been for the frame that connected the posters which he chose to hold onto.

"Do you want to know my favorite thing about kissing you?" He asked. "It'a the moment right before our lips touch. The moment between the glance and the kiss. The world stops and the only thing between us is the anticipation, the tension. All that goes through my head is how I can't wait to kiss you again and when our lips then finally touch it's like we're in one of those films. A couple standing on an empty street at night, rain pouring down around us with firework going off behind us."

I kept my eyes on him as the tears started pouring out. I ran my hands up into my hair, tucking at it out of frustration.

"Why did you stay with her?" I asked. "You are basically telling me it didn't mean anything which is _really_ cliche, but why did you stay with her?"

"I don't know." He shrugged. "I honestly don't know."

"You _have_ to know."

"I don't."

I tilted my head back and looked at the ceiling as a sob left my mouth.

"Do you remember after you saw us kiss... you told me you didn't know me."

"Yes." I cried and looked at him again, my arms wrapping around myself in a way to find comfort.

"Well, I know _you."_ He told me. "I know you better than you know yourself."

I just stared at him. I didn't know what to say. He was trying so hard to get me back but the thought of forgiving him for cheating, scared me so much.

What if he did it again?

"I know that your middle name is Evangeline. I know that you absolutely hate it and that when you were six, you _begged_ your dad to legally change your middle name to chocolate because you _really_ like chocolate. I know your birthday is June twelfth. You're a Gemini and you get super defense when someone cracks a joke about Geminis being two-faced. I know that you don't actually like pineapple on pizza. You just pretended to like it to make Nick happy and now you're stuck with that lie. Your favorite color is orange because it has the same name as the fruit and you think that's cute."

"Fred—"

"When you get nervous you play with your rings. When you're concentrated you bite your tongue. You think Charlie is scary because you don't understand why anyone would want to voluntarily work with dragons. You hate losing. Like... you _hate_ it and it's adorable. Something else that's even more adorable is when you fall asleep on my chest with your mouth slightly open and small sounds coming from you. _And_ words. You talk in your sleep and it's hilarious but... it's also the most adorable thing ever and it makes me want to cuddle you even tighter, though I never do that because I don't want you to wake up."

"Please stop." I cried as I closed my eyes and placed a shaking hand over my mouth. I stood there for a moment before I gathered my thoughts and looked at him again. He was now sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at me. "Do you want to know what hurt the most?"

Silence.

"That you made me feel like I wasn't good enough and everyone looked at me with pure pity in their eyes. Hogwarts loving Fred Weasley dumped his Hufflepuff girlfriend for a fellow Gryffindor." I said. "Or.. you didn't _dumb_ me. I _dumped_ you because you cheated on me with her but you fucking stayed with her. I must've looked so pathetic. I mean, of course it was going to happen. Of course you were going to choose a Gryffindor over a Hufflepuff. No one likes a Hufflepuff. We're a joke to most people. You see, Slytherin is ambitious, Ravenclaw is smart, Gryffindor is brave and what is Hufflepuff? We're _nice."_

"Exactly." He nodded. "You're nice.. and I'm not just talking about your house. I'm talking about _you._ You're one of the nicest people I know. But you're so much more. You work hard and you're determined. You're loyal, compassionate, dependable. You _are_ a true Hufflepuff but that's not a bad thing. Those are all amazing traits and it adds to the things I love about you."

He stood up and slowly approached me. His eyes were burning into mine but I didn't dare to look away.

"I am so sorry about what I did." He told me. "I wish I could go back and undo it."

"You can't."

"No... I can't." He agreed as he stood in front of me. "But hey..."

He grabbed my face in his and lifted it so I looked at his eyes.

"If you give me another chance, I will never do it again." He said. "The only one I'll be kissing is you, even if we've been fighting."

"Everyone says that if they've cheated." I tried pushing him away but he didn't bulge.

"But not everyone has taken Veritaserum." He said. "Remember? I'm unable to lie right now."

"Yeah? Well maybe it's run out." I shrugged. "And it might just be what you believe right now. At this moment you may think that no, you'll never cheat again but then in I don't know... six months maybe, we'll have a fight and you'll do the same exact mistake."

"No I won't!" He argued. "I—"

I pushed him away and grabbed my bag from the floor before I hurried to the exit of the room of requirement.

"Julie!" Fred called. "Please... don't go. We still need to—"

"No!" I shouted and turned around. "I've asked you what I wanted to ask. I'm done."


	20. Chapter 20

The heavy bathroom door closed behind me as I paced towards the sinks. I let my backpack drop to the floor as I watched myself in the mirror. I was panting... panicking.

My day had started off with my friends and I eating breakfast like usual while laughing about some random topic. Then we had potions and I was forced to sit with Fred like usual. We had to focus on love potions which only made it that more awkward.

Then we had Defence Against the Dark Arts and I tried so hard to listen to Professor Lupin but I couldn't because Fred was right there and the cologne he was wearing was so strong. He and George had been standing a few feet behind my friends and I but I could smell it and it drove me insane.

That brings me to where I am now. After class, I told my friends I'd have to use the restroom but I just needed to get a break and be alone.

Then it happened. The thing I tried holding back. The tears came streaming down my cheeks and when I exhaled a heavy breath, the sobs started coming as well, filling the four walls of the bathroom.

I wanted to scream. To let all the pain I was holding, _out._ Before him I never knew I could depend so much on a person. He made me a better person and he made me love myself. Now I didn't have him and it hurt more than anything.

My throat felt like it was tightening. Like I was choking. As quickly as possibly, I moved my hand up and undid my tie, pulling it up as the bathroom door opened.

"Oh..." a familiar voice came from it, causing me to turn my head and look at Hermione who stood there. "Julie... are you alright?"

"Yes." I breathed. I looked into the mirror again and quickly wiped my eyes as I took a deep breath.

"Are you sure? You look like... well. You know what you look like." she said. "Do I need to get Fred?"

"What?" I turned to look at her again. "Why would you— Fred and I broke up back in May."

"Oh, yeah but I thought— I saw you two in Hogsmeade so I just assumed you were— never mind then."

She stepped inside and closed the door behind her. I let my tie fall to the floor before I turned on the water and splashed some in my face to calm myself down.

"No. We're still broken up." I told her after letting out another heavy breath. "I'll leave. The bathroom is all yours."

I picked up both my tie and my bag before hurrying past her and out into the half-empty corridor. I didn't care that I looked like absolute shit.

Again I let my bag drop to the floor so I could redo my tie and not get any points taken from not wearing my full uniform. It's not like we'll win the house cup anyway when we've got Harry Potter as a student. No other house stands a change against Gryffindor when _he's_ a student.

"Are you okay?" A voice came from next to me, startling me. I turned and sighed when I saw Harry and Ron lean against the wall, obviously waiting for Hermione.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked, pushing the knot of my tie up before tucking it into my jumper. Then I picked up my bag and swung it over my shoulder.

"Well... you... your eyes are red." Ron said as he nervously scratched the back of his neck.

"Kinda looks like you've been crying." Harry added. I shrugged, tightening my grip on my backpack.

"It's allergies."

"You don't have any—" Ron started but I interrupted him.

"It's _allergies,_ Ron."

I hurried past the two fifth-year boys and towards the stairs that led down to the ground floor. When I got downstairs, I continued down to the dungeons before entering the Hufflepuff basement.

Melba and Nick was sitting at one of the tables. It looked like they were studying so I didn't want to bother them and just hurried to my dormitory. I closed the door behind me and my eyes landed on Callie's bed. Her and Nate had been making out but it looked like they were going to have sex, though I just completely ruined that. They looked at me and Callie quickly got off of Nate who then sat up and ran a hand through his blonde hair.

"You're a cock block, Julie." he commented, earning a slap from Callie whose eyes stayed on me.

"You've been crying."

She walked closer to me and wrapped her arms around me before leading me over to her bed, signalling for Nate to scoot over which he did. He leaned back against the headboard and while I got down next to him, Callie joined us on my other side, sandwiching me between the two.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Callie asked as she grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Do I need to beat up Fred?" Nate offered. I let out a small scoff as I shook my head. "Cause I can do that. You saw the punch I gave Pucey."

"Nate." Callie sighed. "Stop threatening to punch people. It's not healthy."

I sunk down, lying between them with my head on the pillow and my arms folded over my chest.

"He took Veritaserum." I spoke. "So that I could ask him everything and know that he spoke the truth no matter what questions I had."

"Fred?" Nate asked.

"No. Dumbledore." Callie scoffed. "Of course she's talking about Fred. Go on Jules. What happened?"

"It was on Saturday." I explained. "We talked in Hogsmeade and he insisted on doing it so I knew I could trust whatever came out of his mouth. He bought the potion and we went back to the castle to get it done in the room of requirement. I found out that he didn't sleep with her. He's never slept with Johnson, I just assumed that he did because he didn't deny it. I also found out that he enjoyed kissing her and then he told me he's got no idea why he stayed with her."

Callie wrapped her arm around me as she laid down as well, cuddling me. Nate did the same but from the other side. They didn't say anything. They were just there for me and I was really grateful for that. I wanted to thank them later. I knew that if I opened my mouth again now, I would just start crying again and I didn't like crying.

That afternoon, Callie and I were the ones who ended up falling asleep and when Melba woke us up later when we had to leave for dinner, we noticed that Nate was gone but he had put a blanket over us so we wouldn't freeze.


	21. Chapter 21

"What're we looking for?" I asked as Nick and I walked through the forest. Yes, the forbidden forrest but Nick told me it would be okay since it wasn't dark outside. He told me he wanted to show me something that could cheer me up with everything going on with Fred.

"Just wait." he told me. "We're almost there."

I was holding onto his hand, refusing to let go. I had only been in this forest once before when Fred dragged me out here so he and George could prank me. I didn't talk to them for a week because they had scared the absolute shit out of me.

"If we die, it'll be your fault."

"Don't worry." Nick laughed. "I'll take the blame if that's the case."

"You do realise that it doesn't matter whether it's night or day?" I asked. "The same creatures are here. Giant spiders, werewolves.. fucking centaurs."

Nick looked back at me with a grin plastered on his face. "I come out here every night and I'm not dead yet, am I?"

"Well... depends if you mean literally dead or dead on the inside."

He frowned.

"Ouch." he laughed. "Nothing is going to happen, Jules. Even if something does attack us, we've had Defence Against the Dark Arts for six years, going on seven."

Alright. Point proven. Though if anyone found out we were here, we could get in serious trouble for walking into the forbidden forest. As a head girl, I couldn't get caught because that meant I could risk losing this position.

"Wait." I spoke when I realised what he just said seconds before. "You come out here every night?"

"Yeah." he nodded. "And you'll see why in just a moment."

We kept walking among the trees until we came to an opening. The ground was covered in grass and there was some kind of cave build with branches. I looked at Nick who was standing there with a smile on his face and then I let go of his hand.

_What in the world is this?_

"Pepperoni!" he called and in response to that, my eyebrows knitted into a frown. A dog came running out of the cave, looking happier than ever. Nick crouched down as the dog reached us and jumped up on him while he petted it and said hi as if they hadn't seen each other for a long time.

The dog was a Crup. I could tell by the forked tail. A Crup is a wizarding breed. They are very loyal to witches an wizards but also very aggressive towards muggles and squibs. They look like Jack Russell Terriers apart from the forked tail. This one was white with light brown spots that almost looked orange.

"That's a dog."

Nick looked up at me with a smile as he continued to scratch the dogs bag with both hands. "Nice observation. This is Pepperoni."

_Of course he named it Pepperoni._

"Why is there a dog in the forbidden forest?"

"I found him here last year." he told me. "Was in detention with Nate over that stupid fight with Malfoy. Nate and I have been looking after him since. Nate gives him food in the morning and I in the evening."

"And you named him I suppose?"

"After my favourite pizza." he nodded as he motioned for me to join him. "He's not dangerous."

I took a step towards him and as soon as I crouched, Pepperoni jumped towards me and with a shriek I fell to my bum. Nick laughed and I couldn't help but do the same as I was strangled with the love from a dog.

"Isn't he adorable?" Nick asked when Pepperoni ran back to his cave. I stretched out my legs and nodded as I dusted the dirt off my trousers.

"But why are you keeping him in the forbidden forest? It's a dangerous place for a dog."

"I've got the area secured." he told me. "Only humans can go through here. No creatures. I'd never risk him getting hurt."

I opened my mouth to speak but at the same time, the sound of Hagrid and a bunch of students came from not too far away. Nick quickly got up, a scared expression on his face and then Pepperoni came running back with a branch in his mouth, placing it in front of Nick.

"I completely forgot." Nick told me and looked at me as I listened to Hagrid's class with wide eyes. We had both forgotten that the fifth year students had Care of Magical Creatures right now. I watched as Nick crouched in front of Pepperoni. "I'm sorry buddy. It seems like we can't stay and play. You know what to do. Hide."

Pepperoni picked up the branch again before he ran back into the cave and Nick straightened up, extending his hand to me which I quickly grabbed before we hurried back the same way where we came from.

"I can't believe I forgot about that. Should've been more careful." Nick mumbled, probably to himself but he was talking loud enough for me to hear. I let go of his hand and he glanced at me to see why, then looked away when he saw that I was trying to fish my wand out of my back pocket. It was starting to get dark so I thought a little light–

Suddenly it was like the ground caved in under me and with a scream, I fell through and into a hole. My body landed harshly on the ground and another scream left my mouth when I felt a sharp pain shoot through my ankle.

I pulled myself up to sit against the wall of dirt and my eyes widened when I looked at my ankle. The bone was sticking out.

"Julie!" I heard Nick call. "Jules. Are you alright? What the hell happened?!"

I looked up to see him on all fours, looking down at me from over the edge of the hole. I was panting and also sweating. It hurt so much and I had no idea how I was supposed to get out of the hole with a broken ankle.

"Well, the ground disappeared under me." I laughed out of pain. "And my bone is sticking out of my ankle."

"Fuck." he cursed and looked around before he jumped down here himself, landing roughly next to me. Though he quickly got up and pulled his wand out of his pocket, approaching me before he got on his knees by my side. "Merlin that's disgusting!"

He looked at the bone that was sticking out of my ankle and then he fainted. He landed right next to me, blacked out. I sighed. What to do now? I couldn't use his wand. It was made of Hornbeam which meant it got so attached to it's owner that others wouldn't be able to even do the simplest spell with it because it's _that_ loyal.

"Miss Pegas?"

I looked up at the voice and bit my lip out of fear when I saw Hagrid along with loads of five year students. A few Gryffindors, Slytherins, Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. Ron was there with Hermione and Harry. Draco Malfoy was there with his... _peasants._ Melba's younger brother Brighton was there and so was Seth's younger sister Lucille.

"Hi." I offered a small smile. "So... we had a small accident."


	22. Chapter 22

Right... so Hagrid helped me out of the hole, then carried Nick out. He was passed out for a few minutes before waking up, then passed out again when he looked at the bone _again._ Explaining why we were in the forbidden forests was difficult. When Nick woke up for the second time, he let me come up with an excuse and I simply stated that we wanted to study the creatures on our own for class.

Nick carried me back to the castle to the hospital wing and Madam Pomfrey used the Brackium Emendo charm which healed my bone immediately.

Here we were, sitting in Professor Sprouts office as she is our head of house and the one to determine our punishment. She wasn't here right now so we were just waiting.

"I'm sorry." Nick spoke softly as he nervously ran his nails along the armrest of the chair. "It's my fault if she takes your badge."

"I'm the one who fell into a hole." I laughed. "And to be honest... wouldn't be the end of the world if I suddenly wasn't a head girl. Sure, it would suck but I have something much better. Five amazing friends, including you."

He smiled at me and took my hand in his, giving it a squeeze.

"Thank you for showing Pepperoni to me." I said. "It's nice of you to want to cheer me up."

"Well of course." he shrugged. "I don't exactly know what it's like to be cheated on or have a relationship end but I can't imagine it's a great feeling."

"Oh, it definitely isn't." I shook my head. "Have you ever had a dream where you're falling and you so desperately want to wake up?"

He nodded.

"It feels like that. I'm falling and I just want to wake up before I hit the ground but it's out of my control. I can't trusts him the same anymore. I can't trust anyone in that way again. My heart broke when I saw them and I know that no one can ever hurt me that bad again because now I'm prepared and I wasn't before."

"I'm sorry." he gave my hand another squeeze. "He's a jerk and he doesn't deserve you. He missed out big time on many more moment with the best thing that happened to him."

I chuckled softly. How was I so lucky to have such amazing friends? We always supported each other no matter what and that made me so happy. They _made_ me so happy.

_My eyes started tearing up at the sight in front of me. I couldn't believe it. He was standing right there, a hand next to her head as she leaned against the wall and their lips were moved in sync. I couldn't move. It was like a ton of rocks were weighting me down. All I could do was stare as my boyfriend had his tongue down Johnson's throat._

_As a bird flew into the window by accident, the two quickly pulled apart to look towards the sound. Fred laughed at it and turned back to look at her but instead his eyes landed on mine and his smile dropped._

_"Julie."_

_Johnson turned her face to look at me and she pressed her lips together in a flat line, quickly looking away again._

_"No, no." I said. "Go on. Don't let me ruin the fun."_

_I turned away and hurried back out of the door. I didn't know where to go so I just automatically headed for the Hufflepuff basement which was the only way to escape him._

_"Julie!" his voice shouted from behind me. A hand then grabbed around my wrist and as I spun around, my hand came in contact with his cheek._

_"I don't want to hear it!" I yelled. "Fuck you!"_

_"Please. That wasn't... I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking clearly."_

_"You weren't thinking clearly." I laughed and stepped closer to him, looking up at his face. "Tell me, Fred. Did you fuck her?"_

_His eyes widened._

_"What?"_

_"Did you two fuck?"_

_"Jules–"_

_"It's a simple yes or no question!" I yelled as I pushed him in the chest. "Did you fuck her or not?!"_

_He didn't answer._

_"That's what I thought." I spoke before I stepped back and let the tears take control. "How could you do that? What kind of boyfriend does that?"_

_He started tearing up as well but I didn't care. I did not feel pity for him. He was the one who were just making out with Johnson._

_"I'm sorry." he frowned in frustration. "Please forgive me. Don't–"_

_"Don't what?!" I snapped. "Don't leave you? Do you seriously think I'm staying with you after this? Fuck you and fuck her! We're done! I'm done with you!"_

"Ahh, Mr Crane and Miss Pegas." Professor Sprout said as she entered the office. I quickly wiped the one tear that had rolled down my cheek at the memory of the day I saw Fred with Angelina. I didn't have the time to explain my crying too. "I must admit I was a tad disappointed when Professor Hagrid told me my two top students were waiting in my office."

She sat down behind her desk and looked from Nick to me, then back to Nick. "Now, would one of you care to tell me what you were doing in the forbidden forest when it is very well known to be off limits for students who have no reason to be there."

"Were very worry Professor." I led the conversation. "It was my idea. Stupid really. I wanted to get a better look at some of the creatures we are learning about in class. I thought it would help with my grades and I convinced Nick to come with me."

Nick quickly looked at me, not expecting that I was taking the fall for _his_ idea. He might've been the one to drag me into the forest but I didn't want him to get in trouble.

"You're a head girl, Miss Pegas." Professor Sprout stated. "You are expected to follow the rules, to be a role model to the younger students. If they see their head girl break the rules, they'll do the same."

I nodded and looked down at my hands as I couldn't find anything further to say.

"When that's said. I know this won't repeat itself though I still have to punish you. George Weasley will need a partner to clean our Mr Filch's old files tonight at seven. I will let Mr Filch know that you Mr Crane, will be helping with that."

_Oh no._

If George had been given detention, then so had Fred and if he wasn't with George... that meant–

"And Miss Pegas. I will let Professor Snape know that you'll be helping Fred Weasley sort out the ingredients, also at seven o'clock tonight."

_Great._


	23. Chapter 23

When I entered the potions classroom at seven o'clock, Professor Snape wasn't here but Fred was. He was sitting with his head in his palm and as I stepped into the cold room, his eyes landed on me and his elbow slipped off the table.

Our eyes met and I couldn't hold back the sigh that escaped my lips. He looked surprised to see me which makes sense. This is my second time getting detention in my six years of attending Hogwarts.

Now I had to spent Merlin knows how long in this classroom with Fred and him looking extra good today did not help with how difficult it was going to be.

"Are you sure you're in the right place?" he asked when I approached and sat down on the chair next to him. I looked at him and nodded.

"This is detention with Snape, right?" I asked. "Because that's exactly where I'm supposed to be."

"What did you do to end up here?"

"Does it matter?"

"I'm just asking." he held up his hands in defence. "It's easier to make conversation than just sit in silence until Snape gets here."

I sighed.

"Nick and I got caught in the forbidden forest." I told him. "Professor Sprout assigned me to help you in Snape's detention and Nick got assigned to help George in Filch's office."

"What were you doing in the forbidden—"

"Fred." I interrupted and turned in the chair to face him. "Why are you interested? Why are you acting like this is a conversation we _have_ to have. We're not together anymore. You're not my boyfriend and you're not my friend so please shut up so we can get through this detention so _I_ can get back to my friends. The people who _actually_ care about me."

His eyes searched my face before he shook his head and turned away from me.

"You know I love you." He said. "You know I care. I told you while I had a fucking truth serum in my system."

"I don't want you to love me, Fred." I sighed. "I want you to stop. If we got back together, you'd only hurt me again."

"No I wouldn't."

"You don't know that!"

"Well you don't know that either!"

"No... probably not." I shrugged. "But I do know that I saw you make out with Johnson and I even... I thought you had fucked her because I couldn't fulfill your needs."

He looked at me again with a frown.

"And you know what I did?" I asked. "I went and I fucked someone during the summer."

I was trying to hurt him and maybe that made me a bad person but I needed him to stop chasing me for a moment. He made me feel like I couldn't breathe so I just wanted him to leave me alone to let me get some air and think about things.

"No you didn't."

"Yes." I breathed. "I did."

"Let's get this started so you can finish quickly." It came from the door as Professor Snape entered. He had his usual cold expression on his face and he pulled out his wand, flicking it in the air which made all the jars on the shelves fly through the air and sit themselves down on the table where Fred and I sat. "You two will sort every ingredient. Bad ones are to be thrown out. I will be back in ten minutes. If I see either one of you have moved an inch from the table, your punishment will get worse. Now get this over with since I am sure we all have places we'd rather be."

Then he left again and Fred and I both sighed at the amount of jars we had to go through but we got started so we could get finished and get out of here.

"Who was it?" Fred asked. "The guy you slept with?"

"You don't need to know that."

"Was it Doe?"

"What?"

"Was it _Doe?"_ He repeated. "You two seem to be awfully close. Kissing on the pitch, cuddling in the courtyard."

"Oh my god." I laughed. "You're insane. You are _actually_ insane."

"I saw you on the pitch last month." He told me. "He kissed you and you kissed him back."

I ran my hands over my face and into my hair while taking a deep breath. A _really_ deep breath.

"I asked him to kiss me." I told him. "So that you could feel the same as I did when seeing you with Johnson."

"Oh so it was revenge?" He looked at me. "You broke up with _me,_ Jules."

"Because you fucking cheated!" I yelled in a quick outburst. I took another deep breath. "That doesn't mean I stopped loving you."

We both reached for the same jar and our hands touched, making shots of electricity shoot through my body.

He pulled his hand away and I grabbed the jar to sort the bad Flobberworms from the good ones.

"So was it him?" Fred asked. "Did you sleep with him?"

"No I didn't fucking sleep with him!" I told him. "It was this guy at a club home in Glasgow."

"A Muggle?"

"Yes, a _Muggle."_

"And this Muggle... was he good?"

"Oh c'mon." I groaned, throwing my head back as a suffocated laugh escaped my throat. "You're a pain in my arse."

"Was be _good?"_ He repeated. He had stopped sorting the ingredients to look at me instead with a rough expression on his face.

"He was." I lied. "It was _so_ good. Who knew sex in a club bathroom could be so _pleasurable?"_

He pressed his teeth together so hard that I could hear the sound of them colliding.

"Yeah, no it was great. Absolutely great. Took me against the wall. You know what made it better? I believe I remember him saying something about his age... twenty-two I believe. Means he's got lot more experience if you know what I mean."

I glanced at his hand that laid on the table. He clenched it shut into a fist to the point where his knuckles turned white.

"But—" I breathed when I got the uncomfortable feeling of guilt in my chest. "He wasn't better than you."

Fred snickered in response as he resumed the work we had to do.

"And... he was kinda a big twat to be honest." I said. "I didn't like it."

He inhaled sharply.

"I don't understand you." He told me. "First you tell me you had sex and for what? To hurt me? Then you tell me you didn't like it. What game are you playing? You are giving me these mixed signals. Sometimes it looks like you might give me a second chance and other times you are just completely closed off."

My teeth sunk into my bottom lip and I looked down at the table.

"You're not the only one who's confused." I said. "I confuse myself if I have to be honest. When I'm with you like I was with you in Hogsmeade... I forget why we broke up and it feels like how we were before I caught you with Angelina. Then something happens and I remember. You telling me you enjoyed the kiss certainly didn't help."

"You asked me."

"And I didn't expect the answer to be yes."

I felt his fingers brush past the side of my head as he brushed my hair behind my ear.

"Did it feel good when you kissed Seth?" He asked. "Did you enjoy _that?"_

I looked at him and our eyes met. I didn't answer and I realized what he was doing.

"Exactly." He nodded. "But you don't want him, do you?"

I shook my head.

"Just like I don't want Angelina."

"But it doesn't change the fact that you _did_ kiss her while you were with me. The kiss with Seth was _after_ our breakup."

He ran his fingers down to my jaw, then along it until he ran them from my chin and down over my throat.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. "You can't hate me more than I hate myself for what I did to you."

His hand gently wrapped around my throat in a loose grip and his eyes flicked up to meet mine.

"I don't want to be without you."

I gulped, then stood up quickly, making his hand drop from my throat.

"I have to use the restroom."


	24. Chapter 24

"No, no, no!" Nate objected as he jumped onto the bench, making hand gestures as he looked at Seth. "Because she has to go through the loop, then under, then through again and up."

_What are they talking about?_

"You've got it all wrong mate!" Seth argued. "It's around the loop, then through, up, under and through from behind."

_I am seriously so lost._

"Oi are you fucking stupid?!" Nate yelled. "It's like I said. Through, under, through, up."

"You need to seriously shut your eating hole, Stephen."

"Don't you dare call me that!" Seth pointed a finger at Nate who proceeded to hold up his hands in surrender. "It's better to go around, through, up, under and then through from behind."

"What are they talking about?" I whispered as I leaned in to Callie. She shrugged. She was standing right next to me with an amused grin on her face while she had her arms folded over her chest.

"Dunno, but I'm enjoying it."

"Right." I chuckled. "We gotta get the two with us so we won't be late for transfiguration."

"Reckon Nick and Melba are there already." Callie nodded before she walked closer to the boys. She grabbed onto the knot of Nate's tie and he shrieked when she pulled him down from the bench. He almost fell to the ground but she supported him and made sure she didn't. "Off we go! Now c'mon babe."

She laced her fingers with his and he quickly grabbed his bag from the bench before she led him away towards the middle courtyard.

"Oi!" Seth called out, pulling my attention onto him which forced me to look away from Nate and Callie. "They're cute, aren't they?"

"The ultimate couple." I smiled and pointed towards his bag. "Now grab that. I don't want to be in later. Already had one detention this week."

"We can't have that repeated." He grinned. He grabbed his bag and then caught up to me as I followed our friends towards the middle courtyard. "What're you gonna get dressed up as for Halloween?"

"I dunno—"

"Oh c'mon J. It's next week. You gotta have something."

Every year on Halloween, the students get dressed up. It's not mandatory and not everyone does it but only a few decide not to. It's fun. Especially because the castle will be decorated and then at night it's all creepy and stuff like that. Seth and Nate loves scaring the younger students, especially the first years. Nick isn't too fond of the night of Halloween in the castle. He gets scared easily.

"Of course I've got something." I told Seth as I intertwined my arm with his. "I'm either going for the zombie healer or a zombie school girl."

He glanced at me as he nodded slowly. His eyes were narrowed and his lips pressed together. He was thinking about my options.

"I think the zombie healer would be hot." He told me. "You're already a school girl so yeah, definitely a zombie healer."

"Good! That was my favorite!" I smiled. "How about you? Please don't tell me you're gonna be a clown again _this_ year."

"No." He laughed. "Mine will be a surprise. You'll see when it's time."

"What? That's not fair. You made me say mine!"

He winked at me, his smile turning into an amused one. "What did I tell you in our third year? You can't trust me."

I rolled my eyes and shoved him in the shoulder as we walked outside. The only way to access the Transfiguration classroom was through the middle courtyard which sucks in the winter but right now it was fine. It was only October so it would be cold as hell if I only wore a t-shirt like the day in Hogsmeade.

"Alright." Seth laughed, catching up with me again. "On another note, you and Fred had already talked about your costumes for Halloween. I'm kinda bummed that I don't get to see you as ghost bride and him as ghost groom."

I shrugged and glanced at him before staring ahead of me. "We gave that idea to Callie and Nate when we broke up."

"Oh you did?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "And I think Fred and George will be dressing up as something together. Everything worked out. Callie and Nate get to be a ghost couple that just got married, I'll be a zombie healer, you'll be Merlin knows what and I'm sure what Melba and Nick has in store isn't bad either."

He hummed softly.

"I swear if Nick dresses up as a puppy again, I'll personally murder him."

"Oh? Well then you don't have to worry about a costume." I smirked.

"Why?" He frowned. "I don't... understand that."

"If you killed Nick, you'd be a murderer and therefore not need a costume." I laughed as we reached the entrance to the part of castle that had the transfiguration classroom. "Dead from the neck up _you are."_

"Oi!" He playfully shoved me as we walked through the doors to the classroom. "Don't be bloody mean!"

We sent each other a playful glare as he moved across the room to slide into the seat next to Nick.

With a laugh, I made my way over to the table where Nate and Callie sat. I leaned on the table with my arms and looked at Nate with a smile as he was the one sitting by the aisle.

"Nate?" I sung, stretching his name on my tongue as I sent him a cheeky smile.

"Merlin." He sighed. "I'm not giving it to you. You can't use that... _stuff_ to forget. That's what's gonna get you addicted."

"And you _won't_ end up an addict." Callie whispered so no one could hear. I groaned and my smile turned into a pout.

Nate is brilliant when it comes to getting Muggle stuff. He gets a hold on Muggle alcohol and Muggle drugs. He smokes weed now and then and then there's this thing called coke that he does occasionally that I really need right now because Fred is all that's on my mind and I need to put him out for a moment.

"Forget about it Jules." Nate told me. "Go sit before McGonagall shows up."

"Wha— c'mon. It's not a big deal. I've done lines before."

"You've done _one_ line." He said. "And you couldn't handle that, remember? Plus, that was different. That was for fun and this—"

"Is also for fun."

"No." He shook his head. "This is a way of coping with your breakup and it's not healthy. It's just like with the alcohol. You're trying to numb the pain."

I scoffed.

"Since when did you become a bloody therapist."

I turned to walk away but my eyes met Fred's. He and George had been sitting right behind Nate and Callie this whole time and while George was occupied, Fred was staring right at me, emotionless.


	25. Chapter 25

"Julie!"

I sighed and stopped in my tracks when I heard his voice. I motioned for my friends to go ahead and continue. I didn't turn around. I stayed right this and waited for him to tell me whatever he had to say.

"Can I talk to you for a second?"

"You're welcome to talk." I said with a small shrug. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I let out another sigh as he gently turned me around.

"In here." He said and reached over to open the door to the broom closet next to where we were standing.

I looked at the door as it opened and then looked up at him. "I'm not gonna make out with you."

"That's not— what?" He laughed but quickly stopped again. "Just get in there, Jules. We have to talk."

I walked into the closet and leaned back against the wall while letting my bag fall to the floor.

Fred followed me in and closed the door behind him. He searched for the light switch and when the light turned on, I squinted my eyes, trying to get used to it.

"Fred. What do you—"

"I heard you talk to Nate and Callie." He told me. I frowned but then realized what he talked about. I shook my head, grabbed my bag and hurried for the door but Fred blocked it and I almost walked straight into him.

"No, Fred. Let me out."

"You need to listen to me." He said and cupped my face to force me to listen to him. "Callie mentioned addiction. Are you addicted to something?"

I huffed.

"I'm addicted to chocolate... and ice-cream. Now let me out."

I tried pushing him away but instead he grabbed onto my wrists and kept me in place.

"You know what I mean."

"Do I?"

"What were you trying to get from Nate?" He asked. "Was it drugs? Are you trying to get yourself high?"

"Merlin's beard, Fred." I sighed. He backed me up against the wall before he placed a hand next to my head. "It's none of your business."

"It _is_ my business." He argued. "When you're trying to get drugs because of me, it _is_ my business."

I moved my head to look away but he kept meeting my gaze.

"What kind of drugs, Jules?" He asked. "Have you taken anything before?"

"Fred!" I yelled. "Stop! I'm not..."

I sighed. "I don't do drugs. I've tried it once, didn't like it."

"Then why were you trying to—"

"Because you are all I can think about!" I yelled. "And I need that to stop! I need to get you out of my head and you standing here right now isn't helping anything!"

I leaned my head back against the wall as I closed my eyes.

"You know what I hated the most by seeing you with Johnson?" I asked as I after a moment opened my eyes again to look up at his. "Every time I heard her call you _baby._ You hate that and she didn't know that while _I_ did. I know you better than she does."

"You do." He nodded. "You know me as well as my family."

"Then why—" I frowned as my lips started to quiver. "Why would you throw that away? Throw _us_ away?"

"I don't know." He whispered. "But I wish I hadn't. I wish I had never kissed her. I wish I had stayed after our fight and solved it with you instead of cheating. I'm so sorry my love. I'm _so_ sorry."

I reached forwards and hooked my fingers into the waistband of his trousers, pulling him closer to me.

"Jules." He breathed when his hips came in contact with mine. "Don't do anything you'll regret."

I tilted my head back to look up at his face. I could feel the warmth from his body and I loved it. I wanted to kiss him, to be back with him. It was times like these that I almost convinced myself to just ignore the feelings I have towards what he did and just get him back.

I tucked at his dress shirt, pulling it out of his trousers while keeping eye contact with him.

"This isn't a good idea." He told me. "If this happens... you'll go straight back to hating me after."

I let go of his shirt and let my body relax with a sigh leaving my mouth.

"I'm sorry." I said. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

I closed my eyes when I felt the stinging in my eyes and a few tears managed to press through my eyelashes.

"Darling." Fred whispered and ran a finger along my jaw. "Don't cry please."

"I don't know why I am." I sobbed and clamped a hand over my mouth. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. Then I let my hand drop and I looked at Fred as he cupped my jaw with his right hand. "I should probably go."

"Okay." He breathed and let go of me. He stepped away he tucked his dress shirt back into his trousers. "Just— don't do any drugs, okay? I don't want you to end up like that."

"It's not like Nate would give me anything." I shrugged, wiping my cheeks. "He's too good of a friend."

I swallowed harshly as I glanced at him.

"I'm sorry." I told him. He didn't get to respond before I grabbed my bag and hurried out of the broom closet.

I rushed through the courtyard and down the stairs to the dungeon.

"When do we have quidditch practice again?" I questioned when I entered the common room and approached the sofa area where my friends sat.

"We just talked about it this morning." Melba told me. "Cedric has the pitch booked for tonight."

"Alright." I nodded. "Wake me up for dinner?"

"You're going to bed?" Nick questioned as I made my way towards the dormitory.

"Yes." I turned around to see everyone of my friends already looking at me. "I cried in front of Fred... again. I need some sleep so I can wake up and be over the humiliation of it."


	26. Chapter 26

"How do I look?" I asked with a smile playing on my lips as I left the girls dormitory to join my friends in the common room. My smile dropped though as soon as I saw their costumes. They looked scary. Well, Nate and Callie did.

They were dressed as ghost/zombie bride and groom and it looked so real. Melba was dressed as a sexy devil in a body tight suit and Nick was dressed as a gorilla holding a banana while he held the head of the costume under his head.

"Holy shit." I cursed before I let out a laugh. "Impressive makeup skills. I used magic on mine."

"I did all of this with my hands." Callie said and gestured to her and Nate's costumes. "Pretty great, eh?"

"Where the fuck is Seth?" Melba cursed. "He's supposed to be here so we can make that great entrance."

"I am right here!" it came from the tunnel that connected the boys dormitory to the common room. We all turned to see a figure in some kind of black cloak with a hood and nothing but darkness where there was supposed to be a face. "So? Is this my greatest costume so far or _is_ it my greatest costume so far?"

"Stop being so full of yourself and come on!" Melba waved him over. "The feast is on a couple minutes."

Our group made our way out of the common room and I realised how cold the air felt around my bare thighs. Melba intertwined her arm with mine as she grabbed the fake knife from my other hand.

"Fred is going to absolutely drool over you." she said. "There's nothing hotter than a girl in a thigh-short costume."

"Maybe." I chuckled. "But you do realise I've got fake blood on both my torso and my face? This mask thingy... there's nothing hot over that and tonight isn't about being hot."

"Nope. It's about scaring the kids." Callie let out a creepy laugh and Nate joined her, making the rest of us laugh... apart from Nick who looked scared.

"I don't like this." he said and stopped walking until Melba and I reached him, then he started walking again. "I hate halloween."

"Shut up and put on your gorilla head." Melba said and he stuck out his tongue at her before putting on the head.

"Do you know what Fred and George are dressed as this year?" I asked Melba. She wiggled her eyebrows at me in response, causing me to frown.

"No, I'm joking." she laughed. "Uh– I heard that Fred didn't want to get all dressed up this year so he and George just went as conjoined twins."

"Is that right?" I chuckled. "Well that's convenient."

We all made our way up the stairs to the ground floor. Melba, Nick and I walked in the back while Seth walked besides Callie and Nate who were holding hands while Callie carried a bouquet in her other hand.

"Can I have my knife back now?" I asked Melba. "I'm scared you're gonna try and use it to cut somebody's throat."

"I _will_ cut somebody's throat." she assured me as she handed it back to me. "If they get on my nerve."

"Exactly why I don't want you carrying any weapon of any kind."

"Reckon my big fork will do the work, eh?" she smirked. "If I stab them in the right place. Right in the throat."

I sent her an awkward smile to show I didn't condone that. Melbourne Striker was possible the most violent Hufflepuff out there. She definitely set an example that Hufflepuffs aren't just nice and innocent. They can rip your throat out if they want to and sometimes... they want _exactly_ that.

Just ask Melba.

"Oh look, there he–"

As Melba's voice died, I looked at her and frowned at her expression. Suddenly everyone got the same expression and I followed their eyes to Fred in the other end of the hallway. He wasn't in costume. He was sitting in his regular uniform in the arched windows to the courtyard. His legs were spread and between them and in his arms was Angelina Johnson. She wasn't in costume either. They were both laughing and he looked so happy. Way too happy. Next to them stood George in what looked like he and Fred's costume. It was two jumpers sown into one and it was obvious by his face that Fred had abandoned the idea.

"Jules?" Callie asked.

"You okay?" Nate added and I looked at them, forcing a smile that wasn't visible under my facemark. I nodded.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" I forced a chuckle. "I don't care if he's back together with her. It's not like he's my boyfriend anymore. Let's just get to the great hall before all the good seats are taken."

I made my way through the small crowd of my five friends and hurried my way down the hallway. It started to get extremely hot. My body heated up with jealousy and sadness. I ripped the mask off of my face so that I could breathe and my friends quickly caught up with me.

"Just ignore them." Callie instructed. "They're being annoying asses."

"I don't _care,_ Callie." I snapped but I immediately sighed and shook my head. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you."

"It's alright." she shrugged. "Let's just go have some fun. Enjoy the night. It's halloween for fuck sake. Our favourite holiday apart from Christmas."

"You're all still coming home with me for Christmas, right?" Callie asked. "My parents have been talking about it all year. They're so excited to finally get to host a big Christmas party with all my friends included."

"Oh you can count on it alright." Seth laughed. "Your dad makes the best food in the entire Wizarding world."

"Will there be pizza?" Nick asked, causing us all to laugh, me included. He was too obsessed with pizza that I sometimes worried for him.

"There'll be pizza." Callie confirmed.

"Sweet!"

We passed my Fred, George and Angelina in the hallway and I made eye contact with Fred but instead of glaring at him like I'd normally do, I simply smiled, showing him that him being with Angelina didn't affect it. Though it _did_ affect me and my heart was hurting. I thought he was over her but nope. He was right back with the person he chose to cheat on me with.

When we got to our table in the Great Hall, I put the fake knife and the mask next to me on the bench while Seth sat on the other side of it. Nate sat next to me on the left side and on the other side sat Callie across from Nate, Melba in front of me and Nick in front of Seth.

When all the students were seated, including Fred, Angelina and George at their table, Dumbledore gave a quick speech like always but I wasn't listening. My eyes were focused on Fred's back, watching his movements and seeing the smile on his face when he turned his head to look at Angelina.

Then the feast started and Nick was the first to gather a big amount of food on his plate before starting to swallow it as soon as he put it in his mouth.

"Slow down." Seth laughed. "No one's going to take the food away from you."


	27. Chapter 27

"Boo!" Nate came up from behind of a few first year students. They screamed with fright, then screamed louder when they saw his face and then they ran away, leaving Nate and Seth to laughing their asses off. Seth turned to me and though I couldn't see his face, I knew he had a shit eating grin on his face. I shoved him in the shoulder, rolling my eyes.

"Don't be mean." I told him, then my eyes flicked to Nate. "They're kids. They're probably gonna have a nightmare from that."

"Probably gonna wet the bed." Seth laughed as he and Nate's hands met midair. I rolled my eyes again, shaking my head.

"Jules! Come dance with me!" Callie sang as she danced around in the courtyard, enjoying the fact that she was wearing a gown that could flow in the air. "It's fun!"

"Is she drunk?" I asked and looked at Nate who shrugged as he watched his girlfriend. "Nate!"

"She may have found my bottle of vodka."

"Right." I nodded slowly before turning back to look at Callie. Her eyes were closed and the bouquet was thrown in the grass. Her hands were holding the gown up, showing her feet as she danced around. She looked like she thought she was in some movie. "Cal. Callie baby–"

I approached her and when I wrapped an arm around her, she let herself fall against me, mumbling something I couldn't quite catch.

"Let's get you to bed." I told her before I started guiding her past our friends and towards the dungeon. When I reached the stairs, I noticed Fred standing alone. His eyes landed on us and he rushed over, helping me with Callie from the other side of her. "We don't need your help. I've got it."

"I'm sure you do." he mumbled quietly. "But you can't both hold her and open the door to your common room."

Alright, valid point.

He held Callie for me as I tapped the brick wall until the door opened. I glanced at Fred before I wrapped my arm around Callie again. Fred helped me get her to the common room. I honestly didn't know why he was helping. Didn't he have somewhere to be? Or _someone_ to be with?

"Let's sit her here." I said, nodding towards the sofa. We got her down on it and I sighed, standing up straight with my hands on my hips as I watched her. I needed to get the halloween makeup off of her before tucking her into bed. I leaned down and started peeling the fake wounds off of her skin ever so gently and placing it down on the side table next to the sofa. "Can you go get me some makeup remover?"

I glanced up at Fred.

"Makeup remover?"

"It's like wipes." I told them. "There should be a pack of them in the drawer of my nightstand."

He nodded slowly before he made his way towards the girls dormitories. As he looked for the wipes, I continued to peel the fake wounds off of Callie who was now completely passed out. When Fred came back, he handed me the wipes before he sat on one of the other sofas.

I pulled a wipe out of the pack and wiped the remaining makeup off of Callie's face, along with the fake blood.

"Julie." Fred called softly. "About what you saw earlier–"

"Stop." I told him, sending him a glare. "I don't really care."

"Jules–"

"Do you think you and Angelina are one of my worries?" I asked. "The only thing on my mind right now is getting my best friend to bed and be there for her in the morning when she feels like throwing everything she ate tonight _up."_

I turned back to Callie and wiped the rest of the makeup off of her face, then pulled the veil off of her head and let it fall to the sofa.

"Can you help me get her to our room?" I asked and I looked at Fred who had already stood up. He walked over and wrapped an arm around her back before hooking his other arm under her knees. He lifted her from the sofa and walked down the tunnel, followed by me. "Just lay her on her bed. Thank you."

He did and then turned to me. "I'll wait outside."

I nodded slowly before he walked out and closed the door behind him. With a sigh I approached Callie on her bed. I got her out of the bloody wedding dress, leaving it on the floor before I also cleaned her neck from the makeup. She could take a shower in the morning to get the rest off, but for now I needed to get her dressed in her pyjamas.

Once I did, I tucked her in under the duvet and pecked her forehead, then left the room to meet Fred in the common room.

"I don't need to talk to you." I told him. He followed me to the sofa area as I peeled the fake wounds off of my own skin, dropping them to the pile of the ones that had been on Callie. I looked at Fred, waiting for him to reply but no words left his mouth. "It's none of my business if you're back with her."

I heard him sigh but he still didn't say anything as I wiped the makeup off my face. When I was done, I took out the contact lenses which felt uncomfortable but it was nice when they were finally gone. Then the wig which had the hat attached to it.

I pulled my hair out from the bun it had been sitting in all day and ran my hands through it to get it sit around my face without looking like a mess.

"I mean–" I heard him sigh again. "It's not like you were ever going to forgive me, right?"

I rolled my eyes as I unbuttoned a few buttons on my costume, showing off my cleavage, though that wasn't the purpose. Fred's eyes never left mine. I knew he wanted to look but he forced himself to be respectful.

"That's your argument?" I asked as I peeled the fake cut off of my neck before also removing the makeup that sat there. "That I can't forgive you so you go back to the one you cheated on me with?"

He stayed quiet and just watched me as I got myself out of the uniform, now standing in only my bra and my knickers in front of him. I didn't care right now. He had seen me like this before and we were the only ones in the common room. I walked past him and down towards the dorm. I got dressed into my pyjamas, then joined him again.

"It seems like a pathetic try to hurt me." I told him. He turned around and looked at me, shaking his head.

"I swear that's not why–"

"No?" I questioned. "You know what I should've asked you when you were on truth serum?"

"What?"

"Should've asked if you love her." I said with a slight shrug as i got rid of the fake bruises and cuts on the table.

"I can give you that answer right now." he told me. "I don't."

As I threw the stuff out in the bin, I looked at him. "See, I don't believe you."

"You should."

"No." I shook my head. "I shouldn't. And you see, there's two problems here. One, you love her which means you're lying to me right now and two, if you aren't lying, then why the fuck are you with her? She might be a bitch but it's not fair on her. I thought that was why you dumbed her in the first place. Now... get the fuck out of my common room and leave me alone so I can go to sleep."


	28. Chapter 28

November...

Didn't start great if I have to be honest. I woke up to the sound of Callie puking into the bin that normally stood between the door and Hannah Abbott's dresser.

I was up in an instant to be there for her, to pull her curls back so that puke didn't get in her hair. To rub her back and listen to her when she blathered about never wanting to drink again.

I knew that wasn't true. I say the same thing when I'm hungover after getting drunk. Everyone says that. That they're never gonna drink again but that promise never holds up.

"Are you finished?" I asked Callie but just as the question left my mouth, another round of puke came from her. I scrunched up my face in disgust as a laugh left my lips. I looked around the room and my eyes landed on Melba who was seaming to wake up.

"What's going on?" she muttered as she sat up and ran a hand into her hair. "Is Callie alright?"

"She's hungover." I explained. "That's what happens when you find your boyfriend alcohol stash."

"Oh shut up." Callie muttered. "Spare me the lecture."

A smile grew on my lip and Melba and I exchanged a glance before she got up and took over for me. Callie threw up again and I walked to my dresser so I could get dressed while Melba now rubbed Callie's back and gave her some encouraging speech.

"I swear–" Callie got interrupted as she threw up again. "I swear on my grandfathers grave that I won't _ever_ drink again."

I got changed out of my pyjamas before taking on my dress-shirt, buttoning it all the way up. Then I did my tie and after folding the collar down over it, I pulled on my skirt and tucked my dress shirt in. I heard Callie throw up for the tenth time or something while I pulled on my jumper and made sure that my tie wasn't twisted around under it.

"Maybe you should stay in bed today." I told Callie as I looked at her while brushing my hair. "We can tell Sprout that you're sick so you don't get in trouble."

"Thank you." she mumbled. We helped Callie back to bed and said our goodbyes when both of us had gotten fully ready. Then we left the dormitory while Hannah and Susan were still sound asleep.

The boys were waiting in the common room like usual.

"Where's Cal?" Nate asked with a small frown. "Not feeling well?"

"She's hungover." Melba said. "She's staying in bed and we're telling Professor Sprout that she's sick."

"Oh." Nate muttered. "Well.. you go ahead to breakfast. I'll just say hi to her."

"How cute." Nick pouted ass Nate made his way down to the girls dormitory. "I really want a girlfriend."

"I know you do mate." Seth patted his shoulder. "But some guys just aren't cut out for the life in a relationship."

I bit back a laugh as Nick turned his head to frown at Seth.

"You're a fucking dickhead." he told him before he made his way out of the common room. Seth laughed and looked at Melba and I but his laugh died when he saw Melba's face.

"Was that really necessary?" she rolled her eyes before following Nick. Seth looked at me again with a shrug.

"It's not my bloody fault that he's sensitive."

"C'mon." I chuckled. "By age you may be the baby of the group but Nick is our _actual_ baby. We can walk around hurting his feelings."

Seth rolled his eyes and held out his arm for me to intertwine mine with his and then we followed out friends out of the common room.

"Oh." Seth suddenly spoke as he pushed into his trousers. "I left to take a shower this morning and stumbled across Fred."

He handed me a folded piece of paper and as I held it in my hand, I frowned. I stopped walking and untangled my arm from his.

"I don't know what it says." he informed me. "He told me to just give it to you."

I nodded slowly as I unfolded it, seeing his handwriting across the middle of the paper. Then I sighed and looked at Seth.

"I forgot something in the dorm." I told him. "Go ahead. I'll be there for breakfast in a moment."

"But what does the paper say?"

"He's just apologising." I shrugged before I turned around and made my way towards the dungeons. Though when I reached the stairs, I looked back to see Seth with his back to me, following after Nick and Melba towards the Great Hall.

I unfolded the paper again to read his message for the second time.

_Meet me in the prefect bathroom before breakfast_

I knew I should've never given him the password. He had been using it as if he had the right to it and now he wanted me to meet him there. I just needed to get this over with, know what he wanted and then get to the great hall so I could get some breakfast before my two free lessons that I was gonna spend in the library, studying.

As I saw Nate turn the corner at the end of the stairs, I started sprinting towards the stairs before he saw me. When I got to the first floor, I slowed down and walked the rest of the way up the fifth floor. I moved down the empty hallway to the door that led to the prefect's bathroom.

"Pine-fresh." I muttered, the door clicking open as the words left my mouth. I entered and let it shut behind me before I took in the room. Everything seemed normal apart from the three towels that was folded neatly next to the sink. "Fred?"

A gasp then left my mouth when I felt a hand brush against mine from behind. My heart had skipped a beat at the sudden contact.

"You scared me." I breathed. I didn't dare to turn around. I knew it was him and I didn't want to look at him. I just needed to know what he wanted to tell me.

"Sorry." he muttered, hand brushing past mine once again but then he ran two fingers down mine and lonely laced his fingers with mine, his palm facing the back of my own hand. His other hand went around and undid my robes.

"Fred–" my voice came out as a whisper but I didn't say anything else than just his name. His fingers left mine and he helped the robes slide down my arms until they landed on the floor. His hands went to the hem of my jumper but stayed there.

"Can I?"

I inhaled sharply as I closed my eyes for just a moment. Then I lifted my arms to give him access to pull it off of me. He threw the jumper on the floor and as I lowered my arms again, his fingers found mine again while his other hand faintly ran up my arm. A few of his fingers forced under the material of the collar of my shirt and the tie that sat tightly around it and I felt his fingers right against my pulse.

"Fred." I whispered again. "What are you doing?"

His fingers loosened my tie before I felt his hand gently wrap around my throat, pulling me closer until my back collided with his chest. I leaned my head back against his shoulder and his lips found my ear, grazing my earlobe so faintly that I felt the goosebumps on the skin of my arms and thighs.

"I promise you–" his breath hit the skin of both my ear and my neck and the goosebumps came back immediately while my own breathing fastened a bit. "... I am not back with her."

"You seemed awfully comfy with her last night both before and during the feast." I said. His grip on my throat tightened a bit but only in a good way and neither of us could ignore the moan that slipped past my lips.

"You're the only one I want." he whispered in my ear. His voice was raspy and not in a _morning voice_ type of way. His voice was raspy as in the way he sounds when he's horny. I dated him for nineteen months. I know him better than he knows his own back pocket. Just like he knows me better than I know mine. "And I will fucking kill myself before hurting you like that ever again."

I moved my hand up to undo my tie and then pulled it off before letting it fall to the ground at the same time ass Fred let go of my throat. Instead he pulled the hair tie out of my hairs so that it fell down around my face. He brushed it to one side and then I felt his nose brush past the skin of my neck.

"You smell so good." he whispered, his hands finding the buttons of my dress-shirt. "Can I take this off, please?"

"Yes." I breathed, once again throwing my head back as he sucked gently on my skin while starting to undo the buttons one by one until it was completely open, exposing my bra. He pulled it off and let it fall down my arms before his mouth attacked the spot on my neck that had been covered by the material. I moaned in response, screwing my eyes shut as my hand found his hair.

"Can I touch you?" He whispered against my skin. Hearing him ask that almost made my knees give in. I hummed in response, waiting for his touch. "I need you to _tell_ me, Jules."

"Fuck." I cursed, feeling his tongue come in contact with my pulse point. " _Yes."_

His hand dragged up my thigh, pushing up my skirt as he moved towards my knickers. I held onto his wrist as he slid his hand in and ran his fingers through my wet folds. The moan that left my mouth filled the room and slowly I could feel his erection grow behind me.

I dug my fingers further into his hair as I felt _his_ fingers collect my wetness to use as he started moving them around my clit in circular motions.

"Fuck." I hissed, arching my back. I then proceeded to whimper and when my back fell back against his front again, he planted a kiss on the side of my neck.

"How am I making you feel, love?" His voice hit my ear as a whisper. He went to wrap an arm around my stomach, keeping me locked against his front with his hand working in my knickers. He slid two fingers into me and I grasped onto the back of his neck to keep myself steady.

The pleasure was so overwhelming that I felt like my knees would give in at any moment.

"Jules." He whispered. "You better answer me love if you want me to move them."

"Don't fucking _start_ with me." I hissed. He laughed against my skin and when he moved his fingers out and then roughly back in, I whimpered into the room, my eyes closing again. He pumped them in and out of me, listening to the whimpers and the moans leaving my mouth.

Why was I doing this? I couldn't answer it. All I knew was that there was something about Fred that made me feel these things. Love... _lust._

I _needed_ him and I didn't know if I only needed him sexually or if I needed him back in my life in the same way as before.

"You're so wet." He whispered into my neck as he licked my pulse point, making my entire body shudder. "Tell me, darling. Would you like me to make love to you or do you want me to _fuck_ you?"

"What— What do _you_ think?" I breathed as he slipped out his fingers and forced them into my mouth.

"Suck." He ordered me and after doing what he told me to, he spun me around. He ran a hand up to wrap around my throat for a moment before he ran it to the side of my neck, his dark eyes meeting mine. "Hmm, I don't _know,_ Jules. That's why I'm asking."

Instead of responding, I took in his presence. He was only wearing a pair of trousers and the dress shirt. The tie was hanging on a hook on a wall along with his jumper and his robes.

My eyes flicked up his for a quick moment before I started quickly undoing the buttons on his shirt. He watched me while doing so, the hint of a smirk on his face.

"You're annoying." I told him and slid the shirt off his shoulders. I looked at him while I hooked my fingers into the waistband of his trousers. I pulled them down to his ankles but my eyes never left his as I stood up again. "So fucking annoying."

His hand moved from my neck to my jaw and he leaned down to kiss me. Electricity immediately ran through my lips and spread out throughout the rest of my body. I moaned into his mouth and when he placed a hand on my waist, I felt like I was melting under his touch. I pressed a hand to his chest and as quickly as our lips had met, as quickly they pulled apart when he pushed my skirt and my knickers down at the same time.

He proceeded to pull his own underwear down while I pushed off my shoes, then pulled off my socks and lastly unclasped my bra, throwing it on the floor. We took one look at each other and then we connected like we hadn't done anything for years. My arms went around his neck, our lips reconnecting and his hands cupped my butt cheeks, lifting me up which made me automatically wrap my legs around his waist.

Fred turned us around and walked into the shower, my back connecting the wall and when the stream of water hit us, I knew he had accidentally turned it on. We both laughed into the kiss and I felt him take the opportunity to slide his tongue past my lips to meet mine.

I didn't know if it was the water temperature or our body heat but the room got damp pretty quickly. We were eager. We were eating each other up, trying to get as much contact as possible while also coming up for air.

Teeth clashing, wet kisses, water. That was the sound that filled the bathroom and at that moment I forgot about all the problems we'd experienced over the past six months. I had him right here and I never wanted to let him go. I needed him back in my arms, not only physically. I just needed him. All of him. His body, his mind, his love. I didn't care anymore. About the kiss he shared with Angelina. I knew he didn't sleep with her, I knew he wasn't _with_ her.

Would he say yes if I asked him to be my everything again?

"Do you—" we both panted heavily as he broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against my shoulder. "Are you still on the—"

"Yes." I panted, running my fingers through his wet hair. "Fuck me, Freddie. Fucking _fuck_ me. _Please."_

He lifted his head to look at me and his right hand went down to guide his member to my entrance. My eyes closed and I threw my head back as he bucked his hips forwards, filling me up. One hand stayed on the back of his neck while my other arm moved around his shoulders. My nails dug into his skin and we exchanged a moan when he slowly pulled out, then thrusted into me again.

"Fuck." Fred cursed, his thrusting getting faster to the point that it could be heard throughout the room, the sound of our skin slapping against each other, mixing with the sound of the water, our panting and morning. The hand that wasn't wrapped around his shoulders made its way into my wet hair, tucking at it as I screwed my eyes shut to the point where I for a moment thought I was gonna be blind when I opened them again. "Why do you have to feel so— fuck! Fucking _good."_

I clamped a hand over my mouth to try and suffocate the moans that I knew were only getting louder and louder, through Fred quickly grabbed my hand and pinned it against the wall while his other hand held me up.

"Don't—" he panted. "...they won't be able to hear you. They're all in the great hall."

I looked at him and my hand went back to his neck as I placed my lips on his, kissing him passionately this time. I let out a breath against him, licking his bottom lip between mine. My teeth gently bit into it and when I felt his cock hit my g-spot, I was forced to break the kiss, my forehead resting against his as my eyebrows formed a frown, my eyes squeezed shut and my mouth felt open. The moan that came from me met his panting and it felt like I was in heaven.

The sensations that filled my entire body... it felt _so_ good and I never wanted it to end. I wanted him to fuck me into tomorrow, into next week if that was even possible.

"Please don't stop." I whispered when I could feel a knot starting to form in my lower abdomen. "Don't ever stop."

He leaned his head against my shoulder again and kissed my skin before he sucked it in between his lips, making my moans louder because it only added to the pleasure. His lips traveled from my shoulder to the crook of my neck and when he bit my skin, I felt my legs starting to shake around him.

His thrusting slowed down. He slowly pulled out, then thrusted hard back into me while my walls clenched around him. I knew the signs and I knew that while I was just about to orgasm, he was about to cum inside of me.

"Jules." He whimpered against my skin while my nails ran down his back. I threw my head back against the wall and my legs started shaking even more as my orgasm ripped right through me, making me let out a series of moans and whispered while my eyes rolled back into my skull.

"Fuck." I whispered. "Fuck, fuck, _fuck."_

Fred placed a hand flat against the wall, head hanging low, touching my shoulder as he too came hard. He groaned and turned his head to hide his face in my neck. His thrusting was now very slow as he rode out his orgasm with help from me as I had my legs wrapped around him tightly to keep him deep inside of me.

"That's it my love." I whispered, still panting from my own orgasm. One last thrust and the last of his semen shot into me. He stilled inside of me for a moment, letting the both of us get a chance to relax before pulling out.

My legs unhooked from his waist and when they fell to the ground, my knees gave in. Fred was quick to hook an arm around me to keep me up and against the wall. I chuckled as I looked up at him, his eyes studying my face while the water continuing to pour down over us.

"That was nice." I said in a whisper while I placed my finger between his collarbones, running it down the middle of his torso.

" _Nice?"_ He chuckled, my cheeks heating up with embarrassment.

"Stop." I laughed, hiding my face with a hand. "You know I'm terrible with this."

He gently wrapped his hand around my wrist to remove my hand from my face and he tilted his head while his eyes kept studying me.

"At what? At what to say after sex?"

"Yeah." I smiled. "I'm terrible at _that."_

He ran his fingers into my wet hair and I closed my eyes at the sensation, smiling faintly to myself. After a moment of standing like this, both being quiet with nothing but the sound of the water filling the room, I looked up at him and then turned my head, my eyes landing on the towels.

"You prepared for this, didn't you?"

He chuckled deeply, his index finger moving around in circles on my lower abdomen.

"You make it sound like I lured you into a trap." He said, causing me to look back up at him. "I knew what I wanted but I would never have done anything of you said no or pushed me away but I did bring towels just in case. One for me and two for you."

He smiled softly at me and I repaid the smile, loving something as simple as him remembering that I couldn't shower without two towels. I _had_ to have one for my body and one for my hair.

"Fred—" I spoke lightly, my eyes flicking down to his chest. "We need to talk about this."

A sigh escaped his lips and I quickly looked up at him. He was hovering over me, a hand pressed flat to the wall behind me and his eyes closed.

"Please don't do this." He breathed. "You're gonna say that this was a mistake. You wish it hadn't happened and that you don't want me. You agreed to this. I asked for your consent and you gave it to me. You can't just—"

I shut him up by placing a hand on the back of his neck and tiptoeing for my lips to meet his. His own hand grabbed onto my waist, his nails digging into my first as he breathed heavily against me.

When I pulled back, he opened his eyes to watch me, my hand still behind his neck.

"That wasn't what I was going to say." I shook my head. "You just need to know that I can't _just_ forget what happened and I certainly can't forgive it."

He bit down on his lip, watching me nervously while waiting for my point.

"I love you and it's quite obvious that being broken up doesn't work for us so I am willing to try this again. Start over... reset this relationship."

"Really?" The corners of his lips turned upwards into a smile as his arm wrapped around my waist while he stepped closer to me.

"You just have to be patient with me." I said as he placed his forehead against mine. "It's going to take me a while to learn how to fully trust you again and you need to give me some time to inform my friends about this before we can even be seen in public again."

He pressed his tongue to the back of his teeth as he smiled cheekily, his other hand going down to my waist as well.

"Oh stop that." I mumbled, causing him to laugh. He slid his arms around my lower back and leaned down to hide his face in the crook of my neck as he hugged me tightly. "I love you and I really want us to be able to work again but that means no secrets _at_ all. We tell each other everything."

"Of course." He whispered against my skin. "Anything to have you back."


	29. Chapter 29

"That took longer than expected." Seth said when I joined my friends at the table.

"It did?" I asked with a shrug. "Hmm, weird."

"Weird?" Melba scoffed. "You were gone for thirty-five fucking minutes."

"What were you even going back to get?" Seth asked. I frowned at him. "You said you forgot something and that's why you needed to go back."

"Back to the common room?" Nate questioned, eyes landing on me. "I didn't see you when I left."

"Well that's because—"

_Nope._

I had nothing. I didn't know how to excuse where I had gone. I had to tell them that I was giving Fred a new chance but I didn't know when or how.

"Fine." Nick scoffed, acting offended. "Don't tell us. Just _don't_ tell your best friends where you magically disappeared off to."

"Why's your hair wet?" Nate reached over and touched the tip of my hair which was the only part that hadn't dried properly from the spell. His eyes drifted to the entrance to the Great Hall where Fred entered while tightening his tie. Then he gasped. "Jules!"

I bit my lip, nervously looking down to avoid their eyes.

"Oh my god!" Melba exclaimed when her own eyes had drifted off to where Fred was. "Julie you dirty whore."

"What?" I frowned. "Hand me the plate of pancakes please?"

Nick picked up the plate and after I grabbed a pancake and placed it on my own plate, he put them back down.

"You and Fred had sex, didn't you?" Melba asked. "Where? In the fucking lake?"

"No." I muttered. "In the prefect bathroom."

"Wait one second!" Seth held up a hand. "That sheet of paper he wanted me to give you. The note. Please don't tell me that was an invitation to sex because that means I gave you that message and basically sent you up there to get laid."

I rolled my eyes at the dramatic tone in his voice and cut into my bare pancake.

"No comment." I said, guiding a piece of pancake into my mouth.

"That's why you look so different." Seth said. "You haven't stopped smiling since you sat down. Must've been some _great_ sex."

I rolled my eyes and put down my fork to drink some juice instead.

"Did you at least remember to use protection?" Nick asked. "Wrap it before you tap it."

"Don't be silly, wrap your willy." Melba joined with a small smile.

"Avoid the dread, cover your head." Seth laughed.

"Cover your stump before you hump." Nick said and I let out a sigh, shaking my head.

"I hate you all." I told them. "And I'm still on the pill so we didn't need a condom. Now can we stop talking about sex? I want to finish breakfast so I can get to the library."

Nate and Seth exchanged one glance and then all hell broke lose when they started singing individually on turn.

"Don't be a loner, cover your boner—"

"If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it—" Nate took over from Seth before Seth took over again.

"If you go into heat, package your meat—"

I looked at Melba and she grinned at me. She wiggled her eyebrows at me and I rolled my eyes dramatically before looking at Nick who was just as embarrassed.

"Especially in December, wrap up your member—"

"Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener—"

"Don't make a mistake, cover your snake—"

"Can you stop now?" I asked but they ignored me and continued to sing, loud enough for students to look and teachers to stop eating.

"Drawer your pip, then split her lips—"

"Stop the stream before you cream—" I immediately clamped a hand over each of their mouths.

"I think we get it!" I told them. "So _please_ shut up."

"You're a buzzkill." Nate pouted, removing my hand as Seth removed the one over his own mount and Nate and nudged me with his shoulder. "We're having some fun."

"Yeah. Nothing wrong with that." Seth agreed. "So what? Let me ask you something... you and Fred are having sex now? He cheated on you. Don't you think it's wise to be sleeping with him?"

My jaw tensed as my throat tightened. If he reacted like that to me sleeping with him, how would he react to know I had taken him back and that we were going to try again?

"It's just sex." I muttered. "And it's none of your business, _Seth._ Just leave me alone. I don't wanna talk about it."

Melba snickered and I when I looked at her with a raised eyebrow, she simply shook her head.

"I'm sorry but the way you said that... you sounded _really_ Scottish."

"I _am_ Scottish." I told her with a small chuckle.

"Yeah I know." She rolled her eyes playfully. "It just came off a lot stronger and it was funny."

I inhaled sharply.

"Right. Does anyone care to study with me during the free lessons?"

"I've got some Herbology homework." Melba nodded before she looked at Nick and Nate. "You two are coming as well. Otherwise you'll never finish it."

"What— I'm almost finished." Nate said with a certain look on his face that showed he was lying. "Alright. I haven't even started yet but I promise I was going to!"

"Sure." Melba nodded. "You were planning on doing your homework and guess what... I'm _straight."_

She gasped dramatically and I grinned as Nate rolled his eyes at her before stealing her pancake. Melba's eyes immediately went wide as she looked at him.

"Have you got a _fucking_ death wish?" She asked. "You can't just steal my pancake. _Especially_ when it was on my plate!"

"Watch me." He cut into the pancake and guided a piece of it into his mouth while keeping eye contact with her. She put down her fork and knife, then stood up on the bench, earning attention from the different tables.

"Miss Striker." Professor Sprout's voice sounded through the room but Melba ignored her as she suddenly in one swift movement stepped over the table and attacked Nate with a scream leaving her mouth.

"Oh dear Merlin." I sighed. She always had to make such a fuss about a stupid pancake. Nate shrieked in a high-pitched tone and shielded his face from the punches he received to his shoulders and chest. "Melba—"

"No no—" Seth gently grabbed my arm when I went to stand. "This is fun. Let's just watch."

"Miss Striker!" It now came from Professor McGonagall who made her way down to our table. "Get off of Mr Twig _this_ instant!"

Melba sighed but then stood up, leaving a laughing Nate on the ground.

"I'm sorry Professor." Melba smoothed out her uniform. "He stole my pancake."


	30. Chapter 30

"Fred." I whined, letting a laugh leave my mouth as I tried getting out of his arms. "I have to go."

"Just five more minutes." He pouted, twirling a lock of my hair around his finger before pushing it behind my ear. "Now that I have you back I never want to let go of you again."

I tilted my head, smiling up at him.

"That is _so_ cliche."

"Oh is it?" He cocked an eyebrow at me as his hand went to my waist to pull me closer. As he did, I placed my hand against his chest, my head tilted back so I could look him in the eyes. "I've just missed you."

"Hmm." I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling when he pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. "I _really_ have to go. We both do. Transfiguration is soon and we can't be seen leaving the cupboard together."

"Okay." He muttered. I opened my eyes to look at him as he let go of me. "Kiss me before you leave?"

"You know I would—" I teased as I backed up towards the door. "But we are in _such_ a _hurry."_

He ran his tongue across his top teeth, watching me with intense eyes that almost made me crumble.

"Julie—"

"Yes, _Fred?"_

"You _do_ love teasing me, don't you?" His lips slowly spread into a grin. "You've always loved teasing me."

"It's fun." I shrugged. I lifted my hands up and pulled my hair back into a high ponytail, tying it with the hair tie that always sat around my wrist.

"When're you telling your friends that you've given me a second chance?" He questioned and tilted his head while his eyes kept moving around my face, studying the different places of it. "I want to be able to kiss you in public again and not have to hide in a cupboard."

"Fred—" I groaned. " _Please._ I told you I am going to tell them when they're—"

"When they're ready?" He laughed. I did tell him that yesterday. "Babe, we both know you're lying."

_Babe._

He used to call me that. It had become natural to the both of us. Just not _baby._ He hated that more than anything else in the world.

"You don't want them to know?" He shook his head. "Right? Have you changed your mind? Do you regret what we did and what we talked about?"

"No." I laughed. "C'mon, Freddie. Listen, when you... _kissed_ Angelina, you hurt me and they're my best friends. They may tolerate you and some of them may not hate you but then there's Seth and Melba. They both want to kill you for that so I'm scared how they'll react."

I took a few steps forwards until I stood in front of him. While I hooked a finger into the waistband of his trousers to pull him closer, I ran a had up to his neck and pulled his lips to mine.

He moved his lips to match my rhythm and I felt his hand against my jaw. He managed to pull me closer while we kissed each other passionately until I pulled my lips away. I looked up at him from under my eyelashes, a breath leaving my mouth.

"You shouldn't be complaining." I said, then stepped away from him and picked my bag up from the floor. "Be happy that I am willing to try again."

"I _am_." He told me, watching me as I walked to the door and pulled it open. "Hey, Jules?"

I stopped with a hand on the door handle and looked back at him as he was leaned against the wall under the dim lighting.

"You're very beautiful." He told me with a cheeky smile, making me roll my eyes playfully as a shy chuckle left my lips.

"I love you." I said before biting onto my lip. I left the room, letting the door close behind me before making my way to transfiguration.

Callie was sat next to Nate on the left side of the room in the back of the class while Nick and Melba sat in front of them. Then George sat in front of Nick with an empty seat next to him. That was where Fred was going to sit. My eyes landed on Seth who sat in front of George, and with a smile plastered on my lips, I walked over and slid into the seat next to him.

"Hi." I greeted. I placed the bag in the corner of the table before preparing for the lesson.

"Hey. Where'd you disappear off to?" He asked. "It was like you completely vanished after lunch."

"No— I went to see if I could find a particular book in the library." I lied. "Turned out they didn't."

"What book?"

"Oh, you don't know it." I shrugged. "It's a Muggle poetry book."

"Hey mate." I heard Fred greet George from behind me. A small smile spread on my lips just from his voice and I wanted to turn around and look at him but I didn't want to give us away.

_You're very beautiful._

He had always found a way to make me blush with his words. Calling me beautiful was simple but it was one of the things that helped me feel better about myself. Before we broke up he always complimented me and really brought me up which is why I am the person I am today instead of a shy and insecure school girl.

"Good afternoon students." McGonagall greeted when she entered the room, the door closing behind her. She walked up the aisle until she stood in front of the class, turning around to face us. "Last Friday we ended our subject on Bird-Conjuring Charms. Can anyone sum up what we've learned?"

A few hands raised but mine stayed down as well as Seth's. He looked like he was _already_ about to fall asleep. Though I heard he hadn't gotten a lot of sleep last night as he was busy shagging Cho Chang in an empty corridor at night time.

"Yes. Miss Johnson." McGonagall pointed her wand at Angelina who sat on the other side of the room. I automatically rolled my eyes. I didn't like her one bit. Even her voice was enough to piss me off.

"To use the Bird-Conjuring Charm you have to say the incantation which is _Avis._ If you've done it correctly, blue light will shoot from your wand and a flock of birds will appear. Out of all the conjuring spells, the Bird-Conjuring Charm is the easiest to do alongside _Snake Summons."_

Professor McGonagall nodded before her eyes drifted to our side of the room. "Mr Weasley. Did you get all of that or were you too busy staring at Miss Pegas to pay any attention?"

I turned around in my seat, my eyes landing on Fred along with everyone else. He was looking at me, then looked at McGonagall as a suffocated sound came from him.

A few people around the classroom laughed, including George and Fred sunk into his seat, nervously scratching the back of his neck as his ears went red.

"No. Sorry Professor."


	31. Chapter 31

"Gryffindor versus Slytherin. Who'll win?!" Seth stood on one of the benches in the hallways, shouting as if he was a paperboy in the streets. "Ten galleons on Gryffindor! Anyone care to contribute?!"

Callie and I watched his _"performance"_ as he was trying to squeeze money out of people.

"He's going to have to pay all of that back if he loses." Callie said as a line of students formed in front of Seth. "Who do you think'll win?"

"Well, Gryffindor won the last time but then again... Slytherin might cheat to have their way."

"True." She shrugged. "You know what? I'm gonna get in line. Ten galleons in Slytherin's victory. Let's see how cocky he is when he has to pay that back."

My eyes followed her as she walked to the line and with a small sigh, I stepped back, leaning against the arch that separated the hallway to the courtyard.

Then the twins showed up in either side of me, crawling in from the courtyard to sit in the ached windows.

"Hi Julie." They said in unison. I mumbled a quiet _'hi'_ back, eyes concentrated and focused on the crowd of people.

"Freddie told me you were back together." George's voice sounded to the left of me. I slowly turned my head to look at me before I turned it the other way and looked at Fred.

"Hi." I breathed as I now fully noticed him. He laughed softly, his eyes leaving mine to look at the crowd.

"What's going on here?"

"Oh—" I muttered, going back to watching them as well. "Seth is making bets on who will win today's game. He thinks Gryffindor."

"Does that mean Callie thinks Slytherin?" George asked and I nodded slightly. "How insulting!"

"How about you, babe?" Fred asked. I felt his fingers brush against the skin of my neck, gently caressing it.

"I'm rooting for you." I said. "Cause I'm not playing."

"What are you hinting at?" Fred asked, biting back a chuckle.

"... that we wouldn't be able to lose if you were playing?" George asked, causing me to look at him with a cocky smile, my tongue pressing to the back of my front teeth.

_"Exactly."_

"Ow." Fred took his turn to talk and once again I turned my head so I could look at him. "You are _wounding_ us, Pegas."

I rolled my eyes and patted his knees. "I'm sure you can handle it. You're both big boys, right?"

Fred grinned while George snickered loudly. "Don't bring _me_ into whatever sexual games you've got going on."

Fred discreetly wrapped his pinky around mine by my side before leaning closer while looking around. "You'll be there to watch us win, right?"

"Of course." I smiled. "Wouldn't miss it."

He hummed and winked at me before his pinky left mine and he and George disappeared out into the courtyard again. I looked after them for a moment, grinning. Then my eyes connected with Melba's from across the hallway and I straightened up while my grin dropped.

She shook her head at me and I silently cursed under my breath before she turned around and walked back towards the Hufflepuff basement.

I decided to follow her so I could give her an explanation. Her steps were fast but I followed her. When we reached the common room, she went directly to the sofas and threw her bag next to where Nick and Nate sat.

"So what?" Melba turned towards me. "We know you and Fred fucked but now you're what— back with him? What was that in the hallway?!"

"What was _what_ in the hallway?"

"Don't play dumb." She scoffed. "Are you back together?"

I sighed.

"Yes."

"The guy who cheated on you?" She laughed. "You're back with him? So... everything is completely forgiven? He just sat and basically cuddled her in the hallway on Tuesday!"

"They're not together." I shrugged. "He told me that."

"And you believe that?!" She laughed again. "Of course he'd say that."

" _Yes,_ I do believe him." I told her. "I also believe how sorry he is that it happened. How regretful he is—"

"Oh he's regretful?!" Her voice raised even more and at this point, Nate and Nick watched us. "If he was regretful he wouldn't have cuddled her in the hallway only four days ago!"

"That was nothing!" I groaned. "He explained it to me yesterday. They're just friends now. Just like Seth and I are just friends when _we_ cuddle. Just like _you_ and I are just friends."

Melba placed her hands on her hips, shaking her head at me. "He's gonna hurt you again."

"And if he do, it's over for good." I shrugged. "But right now we're taking it one day at a time. He knows I don't fully trust him right now, knows he has to earn that and be patient."

"What kind of relationship is that?!" She yelled. "You shouldn't be with someone you obviously can't trust! You don't get back with your ex. You never do because it _never_ ends well!"

"Well being broken up obviously didn't work!" I yelled back. "You heard what Nick said. I was never gonna stop loving him!"

"Yeah—" Nick spoke and sat up straight. "But I never said get back with the guy who cheated on you and made you feel worthless."

"He didn't make me feel worthless." I sighed. "I made _myself_ feel worthless because I compared myself to her."

"And that was his fault!" Melba yelled. "You wouldn't have made yourself feel like that if he hadn't cheated!"

I knew this was going to be difficult. That's why I was so terrified of telling my friends, _especially_ Melba and Seth.

"I love him." I told her. "And yes, he cheated which I have neither forgotten or forgiven. We'll work to get back to where we were before it happened but I also know that Fred made me really happy and he's the reason I'm who I am. Before him I didn't live my life and you know that. I was a closed book, no fun."

"Oh c'mon." She laughed, shaking her head. "You were perfect then, just like you're perfect now."

Nate stood up, placing himself next to Melba with his eyes focused on me as well.

"You may have been quiet but you were the same person behind closed door. He did help you be more outgoing though and that was nice. Just be careful you don't get hurt again, alright? We all saw how broken you were when you saw them together back in May."

"You're actually condoning this?" Melba looked at him and he shrugged.

"It's her decision." He said. "And if he makes her happy, that's all I want.

Then he came towards me and opened his arms, meeting me in a hug.

"This is unbelievable." Melba said in an _I-give-up_ tone. "Wait 'till Seth hears. He'll think the same as I."


	32. Chapter 32

"This isn't your decision!" I yelled at Melba. "It isn't up to you."

"I'm just trying to look out for you!" She gestured a hand towards me. "You're like a fucking sister to me and I hated seeing how hurt you were after he stuck his tongue down Angelina's throat! Getting back together with him is the stupidest thing you can do!"

I let my body drop down into the sofa next to where Nick said. I crossed my arms over my chest, my eyes drifting up to the Helga Hufflepuff portrait.

"Julie for fuck sake." Melba sighed.

"What's going on?" Seth's voice sounded from the entrance as he and Callie walked in. "Why're you upset?"

"Because of Julie." Melba scoffed. "Apparently she's back with Fred like... _officially_ or some shit like that."

"What?" Seth let out a laugh as Callie slipped over to wrap her arms around Nate in what looked like a warm hug. Seth's face dropped as he shook his head. "She wouldn't do that."

His eyes flicked to me. "You _wouldn't do that."_

"What exactly does that mean?" I scoffed and leaned forwards with my elbows on my knees. "I _wouldn't_ do that? He deserves a second chance."

"No he fucking doesn't!" Melba snapped. "He does not deserve a second chance and he does _not_ deserve you!"

"Yeah." Seth frowned. "He doesn't."

I stood up.

"Alright so you are all okay with me _sleeping_ with him but when I decided to give him a second chance and be his girlfriend again, _that's_ where you draw the line."

"Because sex can be _just_ sex!" Seth raised his voice. "But involving emotion—"

"Sex would always have emotion between him and I!" I yelled. "I love him and that'll never stop! I don't care if you like or not but when he's around, you will respect him."

"Like he respected you?" Seth raised his eyebrows at me. "You're making a mistake."

I shrugged.

"Melba already told me that." I said. "And maybe I am but then I'll figure it out and take it from there. Right now I just want to be happy with him again."

I ran a hand through my hair before rubbing my eyes.

"You can't be back with him, J." Seth said, his voice softer. I removed my hands from my face to look at him with a tired look. " _Jules."_

"I'm leaving." I announced but as I headed towards the door, Seth grabbed onto my wrist and forced me to stay.

"Don't you remember—" He started speaking as we looked at each other. "How you cried yourself to sleep for the first many weeks. How we all cuddled you to sleep on different nights even though boys aren't allowed in the girls dormitories? How we were there for you and held you up, helped you through your day when all you wanted to do was curl into a ball and suffocate yourself because of the pain he caused you? And now you voluntarily go back to him when you could have something better. You _deserve_ someone who would never hurt you."

I ripped my arm from his grip, my eyes moving around to the rest of my friends.

"I love you all." I breathed. "You know I do and you know I respect your opinions but I really want to see if there is a possibility of our relationship working again."

"It never worked!" Seth suddenly yelled, startling me to the point I automatically stepped back. "You and Fred never fucking worked! You were fighting all the time and in the end he went and kissed someone who wasn't you! Now you'll have a relationship with him where there is absolutely no trust. That is toxic and I am telling you that it will not work!"

"Yeah?" I asked. "And what would _you_ know?"

His face softened but then turned into confusion. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"That you _are_ the homewrecker in a relationship, Seth." I told him. "You are fucking Cho while she's with Cedric and Ced is not only our team captain, but he's also a friend. Don't come here and give me a lesson about toxic relationship when you are doing the exact same thing to a relationship that Angelina did to mine."

"Seriously?" He laughed. "You don't know shit about that. I'm fucking Cho because I can't—"

He stopped himself and I raised my eyebrows, waiting for him to continue.

"Go on. What were you going to say?" I asked. "What is it that you can't?"

He snorted.

"You're so fucking annoying." He mumbled as he stormed off towards the boys dormitories.

"Right back at you!" I yelled. I turned around quickly and did the same as he, stormed out of here but I just left the common room instead of walking to my dorm.

Why was he reacting like that? I get being confused and pissed, not understanding why I would go back to Fred but he took that argument one step further.

I marched down the hallways of the castle. I wanted to cry but I didn't let myself do so. I was so sensitive when it came to Seth and fighting with him. I had always looked up to him since we were kids and starting Hogwarts so upsetting him was something I really hated and it almost always made me cry.

"Hey, Jules! Julie!"

I turned around and my eyes landed on George who ran up next to me with a small smile on his face.

"Hi." I responded lowly. He threw an arm over my shoulders, pulling me into a sideways hug.

"I just talked to talk to Fred." He told me. "Well I always talk to Fred but we were preparing for the match and _you_ came up."

I hummed.

"I wanted to thank you for giving him a second chance." He said. "I know what he did was hard on you and he completely ruined the trust you had for towards him. He's going to have to rebuild that which he knows but I see how happy he is that he has the chance to make things right."

"I believe people deserve second chances." I shrugged. "I just uh— I had to get to the point where I was ready to give that to him."

George let go of me to instead place his hand on my shoulder and stop me from walking. I looked up at him, seeing a slight frown on his face.

"Are you alright?" He asked. "You seem a little... _distant."_

"I—" I sighed, biting my lip. "I told my friends about Fred and I and they..."

I shrugged, my eye drifting down the hallway where a group of Ravenclaws stood and talked about something.

"They didn't take it well, I suppose?"

"It was horrible." I said and ran a hand over my face. "Especially Seth. He acted odd and we were both yelling. Right now I just need a hug. Will you hug me?"

George chuckled softly.

"Of course." He said and wrapped his arms around me as I slid mine around his back. I rested my head against his chest, closing my eyes while I enjoyed the comfort. "You know, I'm sure they're just worried. I'll be watching over the two of you simply because I don't want to see my brother make the same mistake."

"I'm scared that he will." I told him. "But I'm trying to convince myself that he won't."

"I'm sure he won't. He loves you and he realized how stupid he was to risk what you two had." He said and rested his head on mine. "But I understand why you worry. Take your time. You'll trust him again when you trust him again. It's _that_ simple."


	33. Chapter 33

Gryffindor won against Slytherin and Callie was pissed because she didn't get her money back from Seth. I went down to congratulate Fred, throwing my arms around his neck while he happily hugged me back.

"Thank you." He whispered into my ear. "For being here and watching me play."

"You were amazing." I told him. "Of course not better than me."

He scoffed playfully and pulled back so he could look at me. "You're better at me, eh?"

"At quidditch." I nodded. " _Much_ better."

"Oh, you're a _cocky_ little thing." He raised his eyebrows, then quickly dropped them. "Can I kiss you?"

In response I grabbed into the hair on his neck and pulled him down to connect our lips. He placed one hand on my hip, the other wrapping around my back to pull me closer and my free hand rested against his chest.

His tongue swiped over my bottom lip and I hummed lightly as we pulled away. He smiled at me and I noticed his eyes flickered to somewhere else, then back to me repeatedly.

"You told your friends, didn't you?" He asked. I looked over my shoulder to see Seth and Melba with George. Melba and him were talking but Seth stared straight at us, his jaw tense and eyes angry.

"I did." I informed him. I ran my hand along the side of his neck to make him look at me. "They didn't react well. I actually meant to talk to you about it."

"Yeah?" He tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear. "Let's go talk then. Somewhere quiet."

"No—" I tucked on his arm when he had grabbed my hand and moved to pull me with him. "It can wait for later. You should celebrate with your team."

"They'll be partying for a while anyway." He shrugged. "I told you I'd make it up to you and the first step is being there for you, putting you before anyone. _Especially_ myself."

I nodded slowly and he offered a soft smile before leading me out from the tent and back towards the castle, lacing his fingers with mine.

"What did they say?"

I shrugged.

"Well, Nate was being supportive. I don't really know what Nick or Callie thinks but Melba and Seth were both yelling at me." I said. "Seth was acting really weird and I just— I don't like fighting with them."

"I know you don't." He let out a heavy breath as he gave my hand a squeeze. "Can I ask how Seth was acting weird?"

"He was just getting _over-the-top_ pissed and talked to me in nearly a pleading tone as if he was begging me to not be with—" my eyes widened at the realization.

"I've known that for a while." Fred said and looked at my face.

"But he can't—" I didn't know how to react to the thought of that. "He's like a brother to me."

Fred chuckled.

"Do you _always_ kiss your brothers?"

"Ew." I shoved him in the shoulder and his chuckle turned into a laugh. "I just mean— I could never see him that way. I only asked him to kiss you to make you jealous because I wanted to fucking torture you. He can't _like_ me."

"He does." He nodded. "You haven't noticed the way he looks at you? I personally think he has felt about you like that since fifth year."

" _Fifth?!_ I—"

I took a deep breath, shaking my head. "I _kissed_ him, Fred."

"Yep. I was there." He breathed. "Can you not keep mentioning it?"

"No it's not— what I'm trying to say is that if he likes me and I kissed him. Merlin, what that didn't do to him emotionally. Now I feel so bad."

"You're a great kisser." He nodded. "Just sucks that he got to figure that out."

"Fred—"

"I'm sorry." He hurried to say. He let go of my hands to put his up in the air in surrender. "I just don't like to be reminded that he had his tongue in your mouth."

"Oh—" I raised my eyebrows and looked at him. " _You_ don't like to be reminded of _his_ tongue in _my_ mouth?"

I had stopped walking and he stopped ahead of me, turning around to look at me.

"Because as far as I know, I had to watch _you_ with _your_ tongue in _Angelina's_ mouth." I said. "And that's while we were together."

He didn't say anything so we just stood there and looked at each other before I sighed.

"I'm sorry."

"Why're you sorry?"

"I shouldn't have brought it up." I said. "We'll never move on if I keep bringing it up."

Fred reached out both of his hands and when I placed mine in his, he pulled me close. Our hands dangled between us as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"I don't expect you stopped hurting from what I did just because you decided to give me another chance." He told me. "You're still angry. You're still hurt and we still have a long way to go."

He once again laced our fingers, his hazel eyes staring down at mine. He moved our hands out to the sides and let go of mine to wrap his arms around my back. I ran one hand up to his shoulder while the other rested on his arm.

"What do you wanna do now?" He asked. "I don't want to attend the Gryffindor party. I want to spend some time with you."

"You sure?" I tilted my head. "You just won the first match of the year."

"And I want to celebrate that with you." He told me. "No fighting. No arguing. Just the two of us having a nice time together like we used to."

"What do you suggest?" I smiled sweetly, then my eyes widened when I got an idea and I placed both hands on his shoulders as I did a little jump. "We can sneak off to Hogsmeade and get ice cream!"

Fred laughed and his hands went from behind my back to hold my waist.

"Julie Pegas, head girl and prefect of Hufflepuff house wants to sneak off to Hogsmeade because of _ice cream?"_

"You know how much I love ice cream." I pouted. _"Please,_ Freddie. We won't be caught."

"Oh I'm not worrying about getting caught." He laughed. "I know the secret passageways that lead to Hogsmeade. I'm just wondering if you _really_ wanna break the rules. I know you and—"

"Fred." I groaned, throwing my head against his chest. "I want ice cream."

"Okay." He breathed. "Wait— don't you have a prefect meeting later?"

I nodded.

"Yes but that's not until tonight after dinner."

"Okay." He smiled and leaned down to peck my lips. "Let's go to Hogsmeade and get you some ice cream."


	34. Chapter 34

Fred's fingers drew circles on my knee as we sat against the brick wall that separated Hogsmeade from the train station. I got my strawberry ice cream. It was my favorite flavor. Fred had insisted on paying for it and ended up just giving the cashier the money before I could protest anymore.

I watched the people in the small village while I ate my ice cream. We were both pretty quiet but I felt Fred's eyes on me.

"Staring isn't nice."

He laughed softly while he leaned his head back against the brick wall. Then I felt his fingers drag up my inner thigh, making me choke on the ice cream in my mouth.

"Something wrong?" Fred asked when I turned to look at him. He cocked an eyebrow, a smirk playing on his lips.

"Here." I extended my hand, trying to ignore his attempt to turn me on. "Have some ice cream."

He leaned forwards, his eyes focused on me as he bit into the ice cream, causing me to make a face.

"You're a psychopath." I said. "No one _bites_ ice cream. It's cold. Doesn't your teeth hurt because of that?"

A smile spread on his face and he gently grabbed my wrist to move the hand with the ice cream away before he leaned in. He placed one kiss on the corner of my lips, then kissed me, opening his mouth to slide his tongue into mine for a moment, then pulling back.

I watched him slump back against the brick wall, looking away as if he didn't just kiss me like that.

"Fucking bastard." I breathed. "Kiss me again."

He slowly turned his head and his eyes met mine again. The he grabbed the ice cream from my hand and licked it.

"Tastes good." He said. "Though I prefer vanilla."

"I _said; kiss_ me." I said. He raised his eyebrows at me before he threw the ice cream in the grass, though I didn't care. I crawled onto his lap, straddling him and he let out a breathy moan when I clenched my thighs around his hips. My hand went to the back of his head, pulling on his hair to get him to raise his chin and looked at me.

He whimpered at the feeling, his eyes closing for a minute before they opened again, his hazel eyes staring up into mine with his pupils dilated a lot more now than before and the growing bulge underneath me told me he was getting turned on.

"Freddie, Freddie, _Freddie."_ I tutted, shaking my head as I ran a few fingers down the side of his face until I got to his neck. "We're in public. Don't you think your lower area is being a tad inappropriate?"

A smile spread on his face as his hands went down to grasp my thighs while he leaned forwards so that his face was inches from mine.

"I love how you're trying to act all tough." He whispered, his minty breath hitting my face, my lips. "Yet you can't get yourself to say _cock._ I guess there's still _some_ innocence hidden inside of you."

His hands rose higher on my thighs until his thumbs were touching my inner thighs... _just_ below my heat.

"I thought you _loved_ getting naughty in public." He whispered, kissing my jawline softly. "I thought it got you off."

"It sure gets _you_ off." I breathed, rubbing myself against him until his hands went to my waist instead to keep me steady. " _What?_ You started this. Scared you won't be able to finish?"

Suddenly and I have no idea how, he stood up, me still straddling his hips and I shrieked with surprises while quickly wrapping my arms around his neck to not fall.

"Let's go somewhere more private." Fred whispered and kissed me softly. " _Shall we?"_

He ran a hand down my back until it rested on the back of my right thigh and his other arm stayed around my back as he started walking along the brick wall and behind one of the shops.

I smiled as he pressed my back against the brick wall, thrusting his hips against mine. My smile dropped and a moan escaped my mouth.

"Fuck." I cursed, digging my nails into his shoulders. I unhooked my legs from around him and let my feet fall onto the ground. Fred placed a hand on the brick wall next to my hand and as we looked at each other, I grabbed his other hand and guided it down between my legs so he could feel the heat. I continued to watch his face as a small frown appeared and his lips parted, the sound of a small gasp escaping.

I let go of his hand and immediately he ran a finger up through my slit outside of my knickers, then ran the finger over my clit, making my legs give out and if it hadn't been for his knee that was pressed in between my thighs, I would probably have fallen to the ground.

"You like that?" He asked lowly. I hummed in response and bit onto my lip. "No, no don't do that. Let me hear you."

He brought his free and up and tucked on my bottom lip to get it out from under my teeth. I let out a breathy moan, arching my back of the wall when his hand suddenly pushed my knickers aside and thrusted a finger inside of me.

"You—" I let out another moan and grasped onto the back of his neck. "... never k-kissed me."

A smirk spread on his face before he leaned in and pressed his kiss to mine just as he slid another finger in. I moaned into his mouth, my nails digging into the back of his neck, though he didn't seem to care. He just grunted in response, kissing me with more passion and more aggression than before.

I felt his tongue against mine. I felt his teeth clash with mine. I felt his breath and he felt mine. It was such a aggressive yet passionate kiss full of love.. as if we couldn't get enough of one another.

That was until Fred tangled his hand in my hair and pulled my hair back, a loud moan erupting from deep down my throat while he attached his lips to my exposed neck.

A third finger slipped into me and the thrusting only got faster. My moans were mixed with begging and cursing at the same time as my nails only dug deeper into his skin to the point I actually thought I was going to make him bleed.

"I want you to cum on my fingers." He whispered against my neck. "Can you do that for me, love?"

I bucked my hips against his hand in response and let out a cry of pleasure when he curled his fingers deep inside of me, brushing right past my g-spot.

"Ohh." He cooed at me. "Looked like that _hurt_ you."

"Shut up." I muttered, making him laugh. I let go of his neck and ran the hand to his shoulder instead. His tongue came out to pass over my pulse point and at the same time he hit my g-spot again, making my entire body jolt from pleasure. At the same time his thumb rubbed circles on my clit repeatedly, casing my legs to soon shake as I slowly reached my orgasm.

It came sooner than expected. It ripped right through me and my eyes rolled back into my skull as I leaned on Fred for support while he continued to finger me through the orgasm. I bit onto his shoulder, moaning against his skin.

Afterwards I was panting heavily against him. I tilted my head back watching him as he pulled his fingers out and stuck them into his own mouth while keeping eye contact with me.

"You're so–" I couldn't even describe it. He made me go crazy with the way he was looking at me after what he just did.

"I'm what?" he cocked an eyebrow, a smirk spreading across his face. I frowned at him and softly shook my head as I grabbed onto his shirt, turning us around and pushing him up against the wall as I sunk to me knees. "Oh?"

I smiled innocently up at him, seeing his shocked face while I reached up to undo his trousers. Fred reached down and pushed some hair out of my face before moving his fingers to under my chin so he could tilt my head back, my eyes meeting his.

"There's something I forgot to ask you earlier."

I cocked an eyebrow.

"What is it?"

"Your dad– how's it going between the two of you?"

I simply looked at him for a moment before letting out a laugh and throwing my forehead against his thigh. "You did not just bring my dad into the conversation when I was about to suck you off."

"Alright." he laughed softly. "I guess that was bad timing. Does that mean you're not gonna suck me off?"

I zipped his trousers and then stood up, patting his cheek. "Not now. You just put my dad in my head so... no."


	35. Chapter 35

With a heavy sigh, I sat down next to Seth who was hiding in the courtyard with a cigarette between his lips. He glanced at me shortly but didn't say anything. Instead he removed the cigarette and exhaled the smoke into the air.

"Hi." I said, shoving him playfully with my shoulder. "Are you alright?"

He nodded but stayed silent which told me he definitely weren't okay. He was my best friend and I didn't want him to be upset with me. I didn't want him to be upset at all.

"I've got a theory." I sat and sat up straight against the wall of the castle. He looked at me, placing the cigarette back between his lips while inhaling shortly. "Seth... I need you to be honest with me, alright? Do you–"

How was I going to word it?

"Are you–"

He cocked an eyebrow at me, exhaling again.

"What?"

"Alright—" I breathed. "What I'm trying to ask is if your reaction earlier has something to do with the feelings you may or may not have for me."

A deep laugh erupted from him and honestly I did flinch a bit because I didn't expect it. He looked away, shaking his head at me as he inhaled the cigarette again and as he exhaled, he was still laughing which made him cough.

"You're seriously so—" he shook his head again, a last cough leaving him before he leaned his head back. "Of course I have fucking feelings for you. I've had since we were fourteen and we won against Gryffindor at the end of our fourth year. That's two and a half years and you never knew because you never saw me like more than a brotherly type."

He shrugged after he had spoken, then inhaled one last time before extinguished it.

"Yeah, I like you—" he continued. "In the way that _I_ want to be the one to tar you out on dates to Hogsmeade. I want to be the one cuddling you on the sofa and not just as friends. I want to be the one that gets to kiss you goodnight. I want to be able to introduce you to my family as my girlfriend and not just my best friend and I want to be the one to show you how much I love you, how much I _admire_ you. I— I want _that_ and I want _you_ but now you're back with that— that... _asshat."_

I couldn't help but laugh at the word and Seth joined me.

"I'm sorry." He apologized, patting my knee. "I'm being too sensitive."

"You're not being _too sensitive."_ I rolled my eyes. "Your feelings are valid, y'know and I do love you, just not like that. You're one of the most important people in my life. I don't want you to forget that. I'm sorry that your feelings aren't repaid."

He nodded and lifted his arm to wrap around my shoulders.

"I'll get over it, don't worry." He told me, planting a kiss on top of my head. "I don't want to lose you and I don't want this to make our friendship awkward."

"It won't." I assured him, holding up my pinky. "We will still be the bestest of friends."

He laughed at my childlike voice, then wrapped his pinky around mine and we kissed our own fists to make the _"wish"_ complete.

"Do you wanna go scare the shit out of Nick?" Seth asked and I nodded cheerfully before our palms met midair. "Great 'cause I've got an idea!"

We hurried our way back to the Hufflepuff basement where Seth went over his plan with me. He told me that Nick was currently taking a bath, using the prefect bathroom because I had given him the password so when he came back, he wouldn't expect us to jump out and scare him.

"Hide under the bed." Seth gently pushed me towards Nick's bed and I got down on my stomach before pulling myself under the bed and Seth made his way towards the closet. "You jump out first, yeah?"

"Deal!" I told him. He got in the closet and closed the door behind him.

Now we were just waiting for Nick to come back from taking his shower and it seemed like we came at the right time because only five minutes later, the door to the boys dormitory opened and the room was filled with Nick's humming. He did that when he was alone and we all loved to tease him about how adorable it was. He hated being called adorable but he _is_ adorable. Seth's the youngest but Nick is the baby of the group.

I noticed his feet as he made his way towards his bed to drop his stuff and when he was close enough, I reached out and grabbed his ankles.

A loud and high-pitched scream erupted from his throat and he quickly stumbled backwards towards the closet where Seth then jumped out and grabbed his shoulder. Nick screamed even louder, his entire body jolting as he fell to the floor.

I got out from under the bed and Seth came fully out of the closet while we both laughed hysterically. Nick laid on the floor, realizing what just happened and in embarrassment, he covered his face with his hands, breathing heavily.

"You mate it too easy, mate!" Seth laughed while I wrapped my arms around my stomach due to the intensity from laughing. "Do you need a hand getting up?"

"No." He muttered, slowly removing his hands to look at us while he stayed on the floor. "I hate you. Both of you. _So_ much."

Suddenly Cedric came running into the room but stopped when he saw us. " _What_ is going on?"

"Nothing Ced." I smiled, wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes. "Did a 'lil prank on Nick is all."

He sighed, shaking his head.

"You're a head girl, Julie. You're supposed to set an example for the younger children and here you are, scaring Crane to the point where he's screaming a scream that sounds like he's being murdered. The first years got scared."

"Well—" I shrugged. "You're the head boy. Maybe you should go calm them down, tell them there's no danger instead of always being on our back about having fun."

" _Fun?!"_ Nick asked, his voice high-pitched again as he got himself off the floor. "Nearly giving me a heart attack is fun?"

"Precisely." Seth nodded and flashed Nick a smile. "Listen, Nick. We are _very_ sorry. What if we buy you a pizza the next time we're in London?"

Cedric rolled his eyes at the three of us before walking out of the room, leaving the door open.

"You're not supposed to even be in there, Julie!" He called which I chose to ignore.

"With pepperoni?" Nick pouted slightly, glancing between Seth and I.

"Of course." I smiled. "One Pepperoni pizza."

He nodded slowly.

"All forgiven."


	36. Chapter 36

"Psst, Jules."

I groaned in response to whomever was trying to wake me up while waving them off.

"Wake up, love."

I was so tired and so sleepy that I didn't even process who was talking or what was happening so instead of answering, I rolled onto my other side and pulled the duvet up and over my head.

Though it was quickly pulled down, making me groan again. I felt a hot breath against my shoulder before I felt a pair of lips against my skin.

A small smile spread on my lips and when the lips kissed my collarbone, I turned onto my back, tilting my head back into the pillow in hope that the person would kiss my neck.

It was an automatic reaction. I enjoyed it and my mind was on Fred as I felt the person now plant a kiss on the side of my neck.

I was sure I was dreaming. I was sleeping in my dorm in the Hufflepuff basement and I was dreaming about being kissed.

_Wait..._

My eyes opened when a hand snuck under my shirt and rested against my stomach. I looked straight into Fred's hazel eyes as he stared down at me with a smile.

"Took you a while."

"What the hell are you doing in here?" I asked and propped myself up on my elbows. "How'd you get in?"

" _Please."_ He grinned. "I've watched you and your friends do the rhythm so many times that I've memorized it. It's not that hard to get in once you've done that."

I rolled my eyes and sat up before playfully shoving him in the stomach, seeing as he stood up. He grabbed onto my wrist and I let my hand run down his chest, resting with my finger hooked into the waistband of his pyjamas pants.

My eyes flicked up to his and I smiled softly.

"You shouldn't be in here. I was _sleeping."_

"I saw." He smiled, bringing my hand up to peck it. "Let's go."

"Where're we going?" I asked and threw my duvet aside before getting out of bed, my head reaching just above his shoulders.

"Nowhere in particular." He shrugged and leaned down to kiss me when I pressed a hand over his mouth.

"Morning breath." I told him, shaking my head. He removed my hand and kissed my palm while keeping eye contact.

"Okay."

"Let me just go brush my teeth, _then_ you can kiss me all you want." I grinned and he laughed silently before sitting down on my bed to wait for me to brush my teeth.

"Jules—" a weak voice came from Melba's bed, making me freeze before slowly turning around. "... are you up?"

"Shh, go back to sleep. I am just going out to pee." I said, biting my lip in hope that she believed me.

"Huh? Then why's there a giant on your bed?" She asked. "Is that Fred? Fred... you there?"

" _Hi..._ Melba." Fred breathed and she immediately sat up.

"What the _fuck_ are you doing here?"

"Just go back to sleep, love." I told her. "I'll inform you in the morning."

She let out a scoff before she laid back down and turned her back to us. Fred and I looked at each other and with a grin, he wiggled his eyebrows at me.

After I brushed my teeth out by the sink in a small bathroom that was located off of the dormitory, I got back to Fred and straddled his lap to kiss him while he placed his hands on my hips.

Fred hummed against me before we pulled apart and I got off of him. He grinned widely and stood up. " _Minty."_

I playfully rolled my eyes as I let him lead me out of the dorm and down through the tunnel to the common room that was dark during this time of the night. The hallways of Hogwarts were chilly and quiet, the only sound were the whispers of Fred and I and my giggles when he held onto my hand and spun me around.

As he led me up to the astronomy tower, his hands went down to my hips, his chin resting on my shoulder. The way he eagerly pushed me up towards the tower made me giggle and I felt him smile when he kissed my shoulder.

"Why do you seem so excited?" I asked, placing a hand in his hair. "What've you got planned."

"Nothing." he cooed. He moved to my side, his arm resting around my waist and he sent me a playful glance that told me he was lying.

_What've you got planned Freddie?_

"It's quite chilly up here." he said when he pushed open the door and held it for me. "Tell me if you're freezing and we can go back down."

I stepped inside, feeling a chill breeze hit me, though it wasn't bad. It was actually quite nice.

"It's okay." I smiled back at him as he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. He pressed a kiss to my cheek and then I moved my head more to kiss his lips while placing a hand on the back of his neck.

One of his hands went up to cup the side of my head and I shuddered at the feeling of metal against my skin. I broke the kiss and turned around, taking his hand in mine.

"What's this?" I asked, eyes studying the black hammered metal ring that sat around his middle finger.

"George helped me make it."

I shortly glanced up at his face.

"I like it."

"Yeah?" he chuckled nervously. I looked up at him again, smiling. I nodded at him and he pressed his hand to my jaw as he kissed me again. "Good, 'cause I have a similar one for you."

A frown spread across my face as he laced his fingers with mine and guided me over to sit against the railing. While I sat, he pulled something out of his pocket, then joined me

"It's a promise ring." he told me and showed it to me. "Look at the inside."

_J + F_

"I've been a shit boyfriend once before." his voice came out gentle and soft and I looked at him to study his face as he spoke. "I don't want to repeat that. I don't want to fuck you over again. Losing you was the hardest thing I've had to go through and I don't know what the future brings but I promise you that I will improve. I promise you that I will never cheat on you again and I will treat you like you deserve to be treated. Like a bloody queen because that's what you are. You're _my_ queen."

His eyes flicked up to meet mine and he chuckled when he saw the tears in my eyes. He grabbed my hand, caressing my skin. "Do you want to wear it? You don't have to if you think it's weird or–"

"Fred." I interrupted him, offering a small smile. _"Thank_ you. It's really beautiful and I would _love_ to wear it."

After he pushed the ring onto my finger, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in to meet my lips. His hand pushed some hair away from my shoulder so it could rest right under my jaw and as I deepened the kiss, I crawled into his lap, straddling him.

"Thank you." I repeated, breaking the kiss so I could look at him. We were both panting from kissing hungrily even though it was for a short time. "You're pretty great."

Fred shook his head slightly, grinning before he pecked my lips, then pressed a kiss to my shoulder. I ran my hands into his hair, feeling him nuzzle his face against my neck.

I loved this man. I knew what he did was wrong but I also knew that he highly regretted it and I was almost sure now that he would never do it again.


	37. Chapter 37

"You look really beautiful."

At his words, I felt heat rush to my cheeks and I giggled when covering my face with my hands at the same time.

Fred laughed and I peeked through my fingers, looking at him while I felt my face getting hotter and hotter.

"I don't." I told him. "I'm in my pyjamas, my hair is messy and I just woke up less than an hour ago."

"So?" He chuckled softly, his hands reaching out and grabbing my ankles. I shrieked when he pulled me towards him in one quick motion, my face suddenly being inches from his. "I like your eyes."

"My eyes?"

"They're dark brown." He told me as if I didn't already know that. "And they always light up when you're happy or excited about something but they become really glossy when you're sad and I hate that. _Especially_ when I'm the one to cause it."

I pressed a finger to his lips as I got up on my knees, resting my hands on his shoulders. "You already compliment me."

"Well of course. I want you to know that you're beautiful."

With a smile, I leaned in and kissed him softly, making sure that the feeling lingered on his lips.

"You know what I like about _your_ eyes?" I asked. "On a distance they look to be brown but when you get close like I am right now, it's obvious that they're hazel and did you know that people with hazel eyes are through to be spontaneous and rarely backs down from a challenge?"

His eyes flicked to my lips for a moment before he looked at me and shook his head.

"Sounds like two people I know."

" _Right?"_ I laughed, pushing a lock of hair behind my ear. "Something else I really love about you is your hair. It's so soft and the redness of it fits your personality so much."

"'S that so?" He smiled. "The _redness_ of it suits my personality?"

He laughed and I swatted his arm while playfully rolling my eyes.

"It's dangerous giving you compliments, Freddie." I told him. I wrapped an arm around his neck and leaned in close, my lips grazing the skin of his neck. "It feeds your ego and you already have enough of that."

As he laughed again, I could feel it vibrate through his body, especially when I pressed my lips to his neck, sucking on his skin which turned his laugh into a breathy moan.

"You know what else I love?" I whispered, licking a stripe up to his earlobe before gently biting down on it, then breathed against his skin. His own breathing had gotten heavy pretty quickly, showing me the exact effect I had on him. "That all that cockiness you carry around completely disappears when I'm taking _my_ turn in making _you_ feel good."

I ran my hand down his chest and continued down his stomach until I reached the waistband of his pyjamas pants. I shortly sucked on the skin under his ear and a heavy breath left my mouth, hitting his skin. "Can I touch you?"

"If you can touch me?" he let out a breathy laugh and I turned my head so I could look at his face. "Of course you can–"

His sentence was cut short by a moan when my hand slid inside of his pants and cupped him outside of his briefs. He threw his head back against the railing and his eyes screwed shut.

I felt his cock harden under both my hand and the material of his briefs and I couldn't help but smirk at how easy I could get him hard.

"Fuck." He muttered under his breath as I moved my hand up and down his hardened length. As quick as I had started touching him, as quickly I stopped. His eyes found mine when I stood up and confusion were written across his face.

"Get up."

"Oh—" a smirk spread on his face. "Are you ordering me around, Jules?"

I raised an eyebrow and with a chuckle, he pulled himself to his feet. I ran my hand to the back of his neck and pulled him down to meet my lips for a short moment.

"I believe I owe you a blowjob." I whispered, hearing a whimper leave his mouth as I dropped to my knees in front of him. "You have to stay quiet, yeah? If any prefect or head girl or boy comes by the stairs to the tower and they hear you—"

"If they hear me, they'll know not to come up here." He joked, then laughed and ran his hand into my hair while I pulled his pants and briefs down at the same time, his now completely hard member jumping out.

I wrapped my hand around him and I smiled in satisfaction when Fred inhaled sharply. I made sure to stroke him in slow movement, teasing him which I loved to do while he hated it.

He was breathing heavily, his fingers tangled in my hair as his head was slightly thrown back in pleasure.

_"Jules."_

Hearing him moan my name as my fingers started stroking him in faster motions was above anything else.

He got me off a few days ago behind a shop in Hogsmeade so now was about him. I leaned in and my tongue came out to lick up his shaft and at the same time I looked up at him though my lashes. He tugged at my hair and I moaned in response, my tongue reaching his tip.

He looked down at me and as our eyes met, I smiled cockily, swirling my tongue around his tip. The responses I got from him were great. I had always loved making him moan and having him whimper because of my touch.

I wrapped my lips around him, seeing him close in eyes as he hissed in pleasure. I moved down as far as I could, feeling him near my throat before I started bobbing my head up and down his shaft, sucking every time I reached his tip and making sure my tongue ran down his length every time I invited more of him in.

"You're so–" Fred tried to make out a sentence but as I swirled my tongue around his tip again, he inhaled sharply and squeezed his eyes shut while his grip on my hair only tightened. " _Fuck._ Why are you so–"

I couldn't help but chuckle, the vibrations of it going straight though him and he let out the sexiest groan I've heard. Right there I nearly came myself just from hearing that. I ran a hand up his shirt, fisting his shirt and in response he immediately grabbed onto my hand, keeping it against his shirt.

He opened his eyes again and his hazel colour met my brown ones. His had grown darker with lust but through the lust I could also see the love.

"You might want to–" he gestured for me to stand up, a small breath coming from his beautiful lips. "I'm about to–"

I pulled my mouth off of him, a string of saliva attaching my lips to his tip. I swallowed the saliva mixed with pre-cum in my mouth, then tilted my head back and looked up at him. "You don't want me to finish you off with my mouth? Swallow?"

"Merlin–" he breathed. "You've never wanted to swallow."

I shrugged and looked up at him for approval. He grinned, then nodded and I attached my mouth to his cock again. As I took all of him into my mouth, his fingers got tangled in my hair again, tugging at it while I hummed on purpose to give him even more pleasure.

It wasn't long before I felt him harden even more, almost to the point of steel. A few more swirls around his tip and a few more sucking motions before I felt him spill everything he had into my mouth. He moaned loudly into the air, his eyes closing with both pleasure and relief at the same time.

I kept my mouth open by his tip and brought my hand up to stroke him and pump the last of the seed from him. When I knew he was drained from everything he had right now, I swallowed and felt his hand run down to the side of my neck while I slowly got up to my feet, coming face to face with him.

 _"Salty."_ I whispered, brushing my lips against his for a short second. He chuckled, and watched my movements as I swiped a thumb across the corner of my mouth, then sucking it clean.

"You're amazing." he told me, brushing a lock of my hair behind my ear. "Are you aware?"

"Might be." I shrugged with a teasing smile before he pulling me closer and made his lips melt with mine.


	38. Chapter 38

"Look!" Nick shrieked as we walked down the corridors on a Monday late in November. "It's snowing!"

He grabbed Melba's wrist and she laughed as he pulled her outside with him. The rest of us stopped in our tracks to wait for them while watching them throw themself in the snow that had already landed on the ground within the night.

"So childish." Nate said with a playful grin and a roll of his eyes as he stood there, an arm thrown over Callie. "Do you—"

He looked at her with a suggestive expression but when she looked up at him with a frown, he shrugged and pursed his lips.

"Nah— didn't think so."

Seth who stood next to me, nudged me with his elbow and when I looked at him, I offered a soft smile.

"You haven't said a word all morning." He told me. "Are you okay?"

"I'm just a little tired." I assured him and I heard Callie snicker, trying to hide it by pressing her face against Nate's chest. "Cal, what was that?"

She quickly turned towards me, a confused expression on her face as she looked everywhere but at me.

"Why'd you snicker at me?" I asked, smiling in amusement.

"Huh? I'm not quite following." Her eyebrows came together in a frown as she spoke and with a soft laugh, I shook my head.

"You're such a terrible liar."

"Am I?" She raised an eyebrow at me. "Nate, am I a terrible liar?"

"Course not, babe." Nate shook his head and when Callie looked back up at me, _he_ nodded violently, gesturing towards Callie and I had to bite back a laugh.

"Oh great—" Seth said under his breath, his eyes flickering to somewhere behind me. "Here comes the cheater."

Then I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist and his familiar scent hit my nose as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to my cheek.

"Good morning, love." He whispered before he placed his chin on my head. "And good morning to you three."

"Have a nice sleep, Fred?" Callie asked with a smirk. "Or are you a bit tired just like our Julie here?"

My eyes widened. She knew something. Either Melba had simply told her that Fred and I snuck out together or she somehow knew what we had been doing in the Astronomy tower.

"What're you on about, Dendron?" Fred let out a small chuckle.

"Callie is being Callie." Nate sighed, shaking his head. "She's secretive. Always have been."

"Aren't you normally six?" George's voice sounded when he walked up to where we stood. "I only see four... _and_ Fred."

"Oh yeah. Nick and Melba decided to go for a dive in the snow." Nate commented and nodded towards the middle courtyard.

"I would have joined." I breathed. "But I don't want to have to change my robes."

I leaned my head back against Fred's warm chest, a smile playing on my lips.

"George! Freddie!" A familiar voice called from down the hallway. All of us turned to look at my smile dropped when I saw Angelina who had been the one to call. Next to her were Alicia Spinnet and Lee Jordan who were deep in conversation. "Are you two done chitchatting so we can get some breakfast?"

Fred turned back to me and leaned down to kiss my lips. I made sure to make it quick, then stepped back, earning a weird glance from him.

"C'mon, Fred." George tugged at his brothers robes.

"I'll see you in class?" Fred asked, looking at me with a soft smile, waiting for me to smile back but I simply nodded and turned away from him.

I didn't mean to react like that but being reminded of him still being friends with Angelina... I couldn't explain how it felt. Like my chest was on fire or something.

And the way she called him by his nickname while calling George by his actual name.

_Fuck._

"Are you okay?" Callie asked, causing me to look up and force a smile when my eyes met here.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I shrugged. "Can we go now? Let's face it, Nick and Melba aren't going to be down playing around right now and once they do they'll have to go change their robes before they can even join us at the table."

Before giving them a chance to answer, I turned around and made my way into the Great Hall but even though they didn't answer, the three of my friends still followed me.

"Right, let's talk Quidditch." Nate said as we sat. "We have our first game of the season this Saturday."

"And we'll win." Seth said, glancing at Nate as he reached over the table and grabbed a pancake while I grabbed some egg and bacon. "Ravenclaw won't even know what hit them."

"Don't be so competitive." Callie told him. "Quidditch is for fun. Sure, we _will_ win but it won't be fun if they know that."

I glanced at Callie before my eyes wandered to the Gryffindor table which was the table between Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw and then there was Slytherin who was on the other side of Hufflepuff.

Last year our table was near the kitchen but they move the order of the tables sometimes.

Fred was chatting with George and Lee about something as Angelina talked to Alicia, though Angelina kept looking at Fred and trying to get his attention.

Don't think I have ever been so happy about Fred not paying attention to someone. He acknowledged her when she said something and even there I felt jealous but then he turned away to continue talking to George and Lee.

I hated knowing that they were in the same house. Johnson was way closer to him during the night than I was. Fred was up in the Gryffindor tower with the person he cheated on me with and at the same time I'm sleeping down in the Hufflepuff basement.

"Hey." Seth's voice snapped me from my trance, ducking his head to meet my gaze. When my eyes met his, he smiled softly and tilted his head. "What're we having about in Charms? Still vinegar to wine?"

I nodded.

"Until the last day of the month." I told him. "Then I think we'll go into the Drought Charm but I'm not too sure. Better ask Flitwick if you want to know."

"And in potions?"

"In potions—" I narrowed my eyes at him. "Wait. Are you just trying to distract me?"

"From him?" He asked, pointing towards the Gryffindor table with his thumb. "You look like him being near her makes you feel like you were hit by a brick, so yeah. I'm distracting you."

I chuckled softly and guided some egg into my mouth.

"But there might be the possibility that I've _actually_ forgotten what topic we're on on potions." He said, making my chuckle turn into a genuine laugh while I shook my head at him.

"Right now it's Veritaserum." I said. "Thought from December I'm pretty sure we'll be learning more about Amortentia."

Seth's smile dropped and his eyebrows came together as he looked down while taking a sip of his pumpkin juice.

_Oh Seth._


	39. Chapter 39

Through charms class, I ignored Fred. When he tried approaching me, I turned my back to him. I just didn't want to face it right now. The feelings I had about him being close to Angelina. It surely didn't help when he sat with her and the rest of their group on the other side of the room.

I tried to focus the best I could on the things Processor Flitwick were saying, thought I kept glancing towards Fred and more than once I caught him already staring with a certain look. When I looked at him, he'd raise an eyebrow and shake his head softly in a way to ask what was going on with me.

When my friends and I left the classroom after the two lessons, I felt a hand grab around my wrist and I knew who it was before even looking and _that_ I didn't bother to do.

"Jules?"

I gulped and my eyes followed the people that walked past. George, Lee, Angelina and Alicia. My friends had stopped a few feet ahead, waiting for me but I gestured for him to continue before I finally turned around to look at Fred.

"Hi." I forced a smile which caused him to look more confused than during class. "Did you feel like you were learning anything because I certainly didn't understand a _word_ Flitwick were babbling about."

The only reason I didn't understand Flitwick was because I was distracted but I wasn't gonna let Fred know that.

"Are you okay?" He asked, running a hand down my arm to find my hand but I moved it behind my back, keeping my eyes on his face. "What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything." I shrugged. "I just— I'm tired, _Freddie._ Maybe I should use my free lesson on catching up with the sleep I didn't get last night."

"Is this about Angie?"

_Nickname._

"No." I breathed heavily, taking a step back. "This isn't about _Angie."_

"Merlin, Julie." He laughed, shaking his head. "Are you jealous? That's—"

"What? That's _what?"_

"Well if you would let me speak instead of cutting me off, I'd tell you." He raised his eyebrows at me and took one step forward while I stepped back again. "That's _ridiculous."_

"Oh ridiculous? It's ridiculous?"

"Yes!" He exclaimed. "It _is!"_

"You're so—" I placed my hands on top of my head, laughing so that I wouldn't start crying.

Somehow he made me extra sensitive. Before him I wouldn't cry that easily but now every time we argued, I just felt like breaking down.

"I'm so what?"

"Obnoxious." I told him. "You're obnoxious. Stop acting like I have no reason to feel like this. Only six months ago you had your fucking tongue down her throat and now when we're back together, she calls you _Freddie_ and you call her _Angie_ while she laughs at basically everything that comes out of your mouth!"

He looked taken back. His eyes roamed my face for a moment before he looked away with a scoff.

"So you can suck me off in the middle of the night but because I call a girl by her nickname, I'm obnoxious."

"Not just _any_ girl you prick!" I hissed. "The same one you cheated on me with. The same one who treats me like absolute shit for no particular reason and... don't you _dare_ bring the blowjob up like that."

I turned my back to him to walk away but his hand grabbed onto my wrist again and when I turned back around to look at him, his other hand grabbed onto the back of my neck as he attached his lips to mine.

Unable to resist him, I kissed him back, letting myself melt under his fingertips. One hand grabbed onto the arm of the hand that held my neck and my other hand went around his back.

He deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding past my lips to meet mine. I groaned into the kiss, my hand sliding up his arm to his wrist. I forced his hand away from my neck and placed it on my waist before wrapping my own arm around his neck and pulling him closer.

He tasted like strawberry which probably came from the gum he had been chewing during class.

As he started to pull away, he bit down on my lip and then I felt his lips leave mine. I opened my eyes to look up at us, the both of us panting from not getting enough oxygen in the kiss.

"I love you." He whispered, resting his forehead against mine. "Only you."

He cupped my cheek and ran his thumb across my bottom lip before looking into my eyes.

"Do you believe me?"

_Did I?_

"Of course I do." I whispered, wrapping my arms around his waist to his I'll him closer to me. "And _I_ love _you."_

His right arm went around my shoulders and he pulled me up against his chest before planting a kiss on my head.

"I know it's going to take a while but you need to at least _try_ and trust me." He said. "I'm never gonna make that mistake again. I can't lose you for the second time."

"Freddie!" Angelina's voice echoed through the corridor. We didn't pull apart but we both looked towards the staircase where she stood. "Are you coming? You promised we could play a game of chess."

_Pain._   
_Pain._   
_Pain._

I ripped my eyes away from her and turned my head the other way but my head stayed against his chest and his arms around me.

"Ask George!" Fred called back. "I'm gonna spend the free lesson with my girlfriend."

A smile spread on my lips. I hadn't expected him to choose me over her. Not after all the times he's come running like a lost puppy when she called.

"Seriously?" Angelina asked. "Freddie, c'mon. You'd rather spend an hour with that— that slag instead of me?"

"Hey!" Fred shouted at her while I let go of him and stepped back. I kept my eyes on a window in the opposite side of the corridor than where Angelina was. "What did I tell you, Angie? Stop talking about her like that. I don't want to hear it and especially not when she's here to hear it."

"Yeah yeah, whatever." Angelina said with a scoff and when I turned to look at her, she gave me a dirty look, then made her way down the stairs.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that." Fred said, lacing his fingers with mine.

"I don't care." I shrugged. "I'm used to her insults. Did she stand there the whole time?"

"I don't think so." He chuckled. "She must've come back to see where I was."

I hummed as I looked up at him, giving his hand a squeeze. He smiled at me and seeing his smile automatically made me smile.

"Thank you for defending me."

"Of course." He frowned slightly as he brought my hand up to his lips. "I wouldn't just sit around and listen to her talk like that about my girlfriend."

"Oh so she talks about me like that often?" I chuckled, shaking my head. "Doesn't surprise me, really. She's likes you."

"Like Seth likes _you?"_

"Yeah, but I never—" I inhaled sharply, looking up at him. "Let's just go before our free lesson ends."


	40. Chapter 40

"Fred, I swear to Merlin if you don't back down right now, I _will_ break up with you."

He cocked an eyebrow which was his way of challenging me and I shrieked when he suddenly ran around the table. I ran to the opposite side to stay as far as way as possible.

Never start a play fight with Fred Weasley. It's not going to end well for _you._

"You'll break up with me, aye?"

"If you come any closer, I _will."_ I warned him, grabbing onto the table as we both kept moving around it. We were in the courtyard and some students had stopped to see what the hell we were doing but I didn't really care.

Fred had made some sassy comment which caused me to shove him and he fell into the snow, then got up and threw snow at me and now I was trying to keep him at a distance because I didn't know what he was going to do.

Once he accidentally punched me in the nose during a play fight and for a whole month he kept apologizing and wanting me to hit him back but I refused because it had been an accident.

"Say you're sorry."

I shook my head.

" _Never."_

He narrowed his eyes at me and I smirked, running my tongue along my top teeth. He lunged forward, making me flinch but he stayed in place and smirked when he saw that his attempt at scaring me had worked.

"I'll write your mother!" I warned him. "Stay on that side of the table and you won't get in trouble with her!"

"Oh, you gonna snitch on me to my mother?" He mocked with a playful grin and suddenly he took one large step onto the table and another one down. My eyes widened and I didn't get to react before he had pulled me over his shoulder. I screamed with laughter, punching his back and yelling for him to put me down as he walked with fast and steady steps.

"Alright." I breathed, calming down a bit. "Freddie, babe. Love. My _darling._ Put me down, _please?"_

"Don't worry. I'll put you down in a moment." He told me and I shrieked when he patted my bum.

"Fred!"

A laugh erupted from his throat but he kept on walking with me hanging over his shoulder.

"Gonna apologize?" He asked. "For pushing me to the ground?"

"No!" I groaned. "There's nothing to apologize for. I told you not to get sassy with me."

He continued walking, though his steps slowed down. People who walked by, looking at us from over their shoulders. After all I _was_ hanging from over Fred Weasleys shoulder.

"Babe you are _really_ stupid." He laughed, making me scoff and roll my eyes in response. "You fought back in the first minute or so and then you relaxed. You won't be any good if someone kidnaps you one day."

"Oh shut up!" I exclaimed, hitting his back again. "Where're we going you big dump?"

"Where do you _think_ we're going?"

"I don't know—" I muttered. "The library?"

"The library?" He laughed. "You think I'm taking you to the library? No... I'm taking your somewhere private."

_Somewhere private._

"Oh?"

Suddenly he put me down in front of him after walking up a lot of stairs. I fixed my hair, then looked up at his smirking face. I took a deep breath before folding my arms over my chest.

"Not like that." He laughed. "You're a little pervert."

"Am not!" I argued and went to shove him in the chest when he grabbed my wrists and turned me around, pulling my back against his front, my eyes landing on the wall in front of us. "Wait... the room of requirement, am I right?"

Fred leaned down, his lips gracing my ear and a hum leaving his mouth.

"Do you want to learn how to enter?" He whispered and I nodded. "Is there anything you need right now?"

"Your cock would be nice." I blurted and we both laughed. Me into the air and he against my neck. "No uh— my mum's bedroom."

"Your mum's bedroom?"

"Yeah. Her and my dad had a different room before she left. He couldn't stay in it after she abandoned us so he moved rooms." I said. "Some of my mum's stuff are still there but the doors been locked ever since and I'm not allowed in there. I've been in there once and it was only for a short moment before my dad dragged me out."

Fred let go of my wrists which he had pinned against my chest, then brushed my hair back.

"Come." He whispered in my ear, his hand finding mine. He laced his fingers with mine as he led me towards the brick wall. "This is it. You have to walk by the room three times while thinking about the room clearly. Then a door will appear and we can enter."

"That's it?" I asked. "Seem easy."

Fred let go of my hand, chuckling as he let me summon the room. Alright, walk past the room three times and think about it clearly.

_Three white walls._

_One yellow with white flowers._

_Queen-sized bed with white sheets and yellow throw pillows._

_White ottoman._

_Big window, covering the middle of the outer wall._

_Yellow flowery curtains._

Once I walked past the third time, my eyes focused on Fred, he pushed himself away from the wall and nodded behind me. When I turned around, I saw the brown wooden door. The same wooden door that led to the bedroom home in my dads house.

"It worked."

"Of Cause it worked." Fred's voice came from behind me. I looked at him and extended my hand, waiting for him to grab it before we walked to the door. I pushed open the door and walked through with him following me.

My eyes scanned the room. It was exactly like I remembered it and I couldn't help but smile. There even was a view on the other side of the window. The same view of our garden at home.

"The colors— are they because of Hufflepuff?" Fred asked. I turned to look at him and he then shook his right. "No wait... your mum was a muggle. Never mind."

I chuckled, biting down on my lip as I made my way to the desk that stood opposite of the bed. Fred sat down on the ottoman, watching me.

"What're you looking for?"

I glanced back at him as I pulled open a drawer and went through it.

"Well. I've always wanted to know a little more about my mum, _why_ she left." I let out a breath. "Dad says it's because she found out of his status and that I was going to be a witch but— she should've loved me no matter what so I don't— I don't see how— maybe there's another reason. A reason I don't know."

I heard Fred get up before he walked over to stand next to me, leaning against the desk.

"You think you'll find anything?" He asked and I shrugged before my hand hit something that felt like a book at the back of the drawer. I froze, my eyes on Fred as I pulled it out.

We both looked at it and I turned it around a few times to look at it.

"A journal?" I questioned. "Diary perhaps."

"Your mothers?" He asked and I shrugged slightly before opening it.

_'Property of Annie Rivers'_

"It's hers." I breathed. "My mum's diary."


	41. Chapter 41

_Dear Diary,_

_Do you remember when I told you I was trying to be brave for the children? I can't do this anymore. It's toxic and my children don't deserve it. Ted hit me again and this time it was in front of the boys._

_I'm not gonna bring you unfortunately. Ted never uses the desk so you'll be safe in the drawer and maybe Julie will find it one day and we can be reunited. Am I a horrible mother for not bringing her with me? If she was older, then maybe it would've been_ _safe_ _. The boys are old enough to come with me but Julie is only a few weeks old. I know Ted loves her and he'll raise her to be a wonderful girl and eventually woman. He would never lay a hand on the kids. She'll have a good li–_

I scrolled through the pages to find another page, my brows furrowed in a confused frown. I didn't understand any of this. It didn't make any sense. I had opened the diary on the last page that was written on and _that's_ what I read?

"Jules?" Fred asked. I didn't look at him. I didn't answer him either. I found the first page of the dairy and walked over to the bed with fast steps. I sat down and let out a breath as I let my eyes slide over the page.

_Dear Diary,_

_You're my fourth diary. I started doing this when Matteo was born. I wanted to document him growing up and now he's almost four and I'm currently pregnant with my first girl. I can go into labor at any moment. That's what the healer at St. Mungo's told–_

St. Mungos?

What the fuck. She was a muggle. My mum was a muggle. That's what I'd been told my entire life. I shook my head as I continued scrolling through the diary.

_Dear Diary,_

_Ezra_ _asked_ _me why my eye was blue and red. He's two years old. He's not supposed to worry about that. I know he won't remember this when he's older, unless Ted continues hitting me. I need to get away. My children and I need to get away and be safe. We're not safe with him. He would never hurt them but he yells at them and he grabbed Matteo's arm yesterday. How can we get out?_

"Fuck!" I cursed, throwing the diary on the floor out of frustration. I shook my head and closed my head while I ran my hands into my hair to tug on it. I needed to gather my thoughts so I could think straight.

"Julie, love." Fred placed a hand on my shoulder, causing me to flinch before I looked up at him. He slowly removed his hand, watching me with a questioning look in his eyes.

"This–" I breathed, motioning towards the room. "It was a bad idea. I shouldn't– this wasn't meant to happen."

"What does the diary say?"

"Nothing." I hurried to say and pushed myself up from the bed, crouching down to pick up the diary that was opened on the floor. I closed it and pressed it to my chest while standing up. "Nothing at all. I need to get out of here. I'm sorry, I just need–"

I headed for the door but I felt Fred's hand grab my wrist which made me turn around and look at him.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "I need to know if you should be alone right now."

"Fred, I'm fine!" I spat. "I just– my mum... she's not–"

"Not what?"

"Not a muggle." I shrugged and ripped my arm from his grip before hurrying out of the room of requirement, Fred slowly following behind. "Listen, I'll see you at lunch. I need to go see someone."

I didn't let my boyfriend respond before I rushed down the hallways, the diary pressed to my chest. So many thoughts were racing through my mind. Why would my dad lie? Was he really a violent man in he and my mums relationship? He had always spoken as if he loved her. And boys? I had brothers? I was told I was their only child and that my mum left when she figured out that my dad was a wizard and that she just gave birth to a witch.

If my mum had been a witch, she must've attended Hogwarts, meaning that someone here would have to know. I know that my parents were born in 1950, meaning they would've attended Hogwarts at the same time as Mr and Mrs Weasley but they had never mentioned my mum so maybe they hadn't known her. I needed to talk to a teacher who was here during 1962-1969 which was the years my dad attended and would be the years my mum attended if she really _was_ a witch. They were both born after September so they had to start just before their 12th birthday.

_Professor Sprout._

I needed to speak to Professor Sprout. She was head of house during those years and I knew she was familiar with my father so she must've known my mother too if she went here.

"Julie!" Callie called as I passed her, Nate and Melba in the hallways. I said a quick _'hi'_ then continued towards Professor Sprout's office.

"Where're you going?!" Melba's voice drowned in the crowd of people as I pushed my way through everyone who just got from their class. I hurried down all the stairs to the ground floor, and sped up my pace when I got outside.

When I got to the greenhouses, I knocked on the door to the office and when the door opened by itself, I walked in, letting it close behind me.

"Miss Pegas." Professor Sprout offered me a smile as she was caring for one of the plants in the office. "What can I do for you, dear?"

"I uh–" great, now I had to find a way to ask without sounding fucking insane. What person didn't know their parents blood status? "I have a question about... about someone who might have been a student during the sixties."

She turned to look at me, a slight frown on her face. She looked at me like I was being suspicious.

"Aren't helping Potter with one of his adventures, are you?" she asked. "He's always asking questions about things he wants to know and I've been waiting for the boy to find something he want to ask me about."

"This has got nothing to do with Harry." I assured her. "I think this person might have been in Hufflepuff during her years at Hogwarts."

Professor Sprout observed me for another moment before nodding and motioning for me to take a seat in one of the chairs opposite her desk. While I sat down, she walked to the chair behind her desk and looked at me, nodding for me to continue.

"It's my mother." I said. "I really don't know much about her but I've been told she was a muggle. Though I have reasons to believe she was actually a wizard."

"Her name?"

"Uh.. Annie Rivers."

"Annie Rivers." professor Sprout muttered. She looked like she was tasting the word, trying to figure out where she had heard it before. Then her eyes landed on me again. "You're Annie Rivers daughter?"

"So you did know her?"

"Of course I did." she smiled. "Rivers was one of my best students. She made prefect in her fifth year and head girl in her seventh. Everyone knew of the relationship she had with your father but then she disappeared. I never thought about the possibility of you being her daughter."

_How couldn't she? I thought the school kept records of things like that._

My mum was a witch. My dad had lied to me my entire life and now I had no idea where to start. I needed answers. Answers that only my dad could give me.


	42. Chapter 42

I have brothers? I have brothers. _Brothers._ Boys that share the same parents as I do. The thought just... wow. I'd always wanted siblings and I was robbed of getting the chance. I didn't know much about them. The diary told me their names which were Matteo and Ezra. I didn't know if they had my dads surname or my mum's. Pegas or Rivers. According to the diary, Matteo was the oldest. If my math was correct, he would either be 22 or 23 and Ezra would either be 19 or 20.

I felt so odd. So confused. Almost as if I was in shock. I knew me and my dads relationship weren't the best but this— he had kept such big details from me my entire life and I felt like I didn't know him or even myself.

He was violent towards my mum. What if he hit me when I asked about it? I knew I _had_ to ask about it.

_Dear Diary,_

_Julie is such a cute little baby. She was born a few days ago and she's beautiful. She looks like me a lot but mostly she looks like Matteo._

_He chose her name. He's only four but he wanted her to be named Julie after a girl he plays with in nursery school. Matteo loves her so much already but I think Ezra is a bit jealous because he won't be the youngest anymore._

_He'll get around._

_My little girl. I love my boys, I really do but ever since I myself was a little girl, I dreamt of being a mother to a daughter so I could get to do her makeup and have the talk to her when she was old enough. Give her fashion advice, makeup advice and answer all the questions she has when she starts menstruating and her body starts to change. When she gets her first crush, her first boyfriend. Or girlfriend! I don't care. As long as she's happy._

_Sincerely,_   
_Annie_

"Hey." A voice spoke. I quickly shut the diary closed and looked up as Callie approached me with a smile. I softly smiled back and made room for her on the sofa so she could say by the end of my feet. "What're you reading?"

"Uh—"

I shrugged and bit onto my lip. Maybe I should tell her. It's Callie. I trust her and she's one of my best friends.

"Fred took me to the room of requirement."

Callie's eyes widened.

"Wait really?" A grin spread on her face. "It showed to you?"

"It did." I breathed. "I made it show the bedroom my parents slept in when they were together. I found this diary and— apparently I have two brothers."

"What?" She laughed. "No you don't! You're taking the piss! Surely your dad would've told you if you had brothers."

I shrugged, looking down at the diary.

"My mum wrote that he hit her." I told her, lowering my voice as I played with a hem on my trousers. "She was a witch, Callie. She wasn't a Muggle at all and the reason she left was because she had to get away from my dad. Wrote that she couldn't take me with because I was too young but that she knew my dad would give me a good life."

A frown was plastered into Callie's face which was totally understandable. I didn't get this either.

"Oh shit." She cursed. "Well what're you gonna do? If it was me, I'd want answers."

"I _do_ want answers but I'm not seeing him until Easter."

Callie sighed and shook her head.

"Yes you are. Go home for Christmas, Jules. The rest of us will manage to have a fun Christmas without you and if you and your dad end up fighting again, you know you're always welcome at the house."

After looking at her for a while, I smiled and placed the diary down beside me before leaning in and wrapping my arms around her.

She hugged me back, resting her head on my shoulder while I rested mine on hers.

"Aww." It came from someone as a figure approached the sofa, resting his arms on the back of it. Callie and I pulled apart to look at her twin brother Lorenzo who watched us with a grin. "How _cute._ Two best friends hugging it out over something. What's up? Did one steal the others boyfriend?"

Then he gasped and looked at me. "Don't tell me you slept with Callie's Nate!"

"Are you—" Callie scoffed. "... fucking stupid?"

"What?" Lorenzo frowned and looked at his younger twin sister.

"I'm in a relationship." I rolled my eyes. "And Nate isn't my type. Plus, I'd never do that to Callie."

"In a relationship you say?" Lorenzo now looked at me. "Don't tell me you're back with that fool. I'm so much better than him. You should totally dumb him and be with me instead."

_Enzo and his jokes._

"Get lost you git." Callie said as she shoved him in the shoulder. "Stop bothering us!"

"I was joking!" He exclaimed as he held up his hands in surrender. "Kinda—"

Callie threw one of the throw pillows at him and he shrieked before dodging it.

"Alright, I _am_ joking!" He assured us. "I'll see you later. Don't have too much sex with Fred and Nate in the meantime!"

Callie looked back at me and we both rolled our eyes as he left the common room.

"It's embarrassing to be related to him." She sighed. "And he's _so_ annoying."

"You only say that because he gets everything." I laughed.

"Well he _does!_ And that's not fair either! How'd _he_ make prefect when I didn't? And mum and dad fucking spoil the boy while I exist too!"

" _You_ shatter their plates while _he_ cleans the house." I argued and she let out a breath before nodding.

"Yeah alright." She muttered. "I get your point. Now back to what we were talking about. Are you gonna tell everyone else about this?"

"I don't know." I sighed. "Maybe not everything until I know more about it. I'm not really sure I'll tell Fred either. I just need those answers from my dad and the I'll see what happens next."


	43. Chapter 43

The rest of the week I tried to mainly keep my focus on my studies and getting ready for the Hufflepuff against Ravenclaw match on Saturday.

I didn't spend much time with Fred but he had tried pressing on about what happened in the room of requirement, though I shot him a simple lie about finding out my mother had an affair. I mean, that's not what I read at all and it's not true but I needed him at a distance until I knew enough and felt ready to tell him.

It was the same with the rest of my four friends. Callie knew the truth but I had to give the others a lie. I told them my dad wants me home for the holidays for some _'bonding'_ and hopefully it didn't seem too suspicious, due to our tense relationship.

Saturday came quickly and Cedric was very anxious about us winning. Said he was gonna pull an ' _Oliver Wood'_ if we didn't win.

Once when Gryffindor lost to Hufflepuff, it was rumored that Wood went out and tried to drown himself in the prefect bathroom.

We can't have Cedric try to drown himself as well so winning is not a choice. We _have_ to win. Also because we _really_ love winning. My friends and I can get _pretty_ competitive.

Fred and George were going to be at the match. They had promised to cheer on as loud as they possibly could. I overheard Angelina try to talk both of them out of it which didn't work _at_ all. They wanted to be there and watch Hufflepuff beat Ravenclaw so they weren't gonna let her persuade them.

"I could be taking a _bath_ right now." Melba complained as we made our way down to the pitch, following Cedric who wanted to do a last minute practice. "A _fucking_ bath. In the _prefect_ bathroom."

"You're not supposed to be using the prefect bathroom, Striker." Cedric's voice came from about a feet ahead of us. He glanced back at me and I quickly held up my hands in surrender, forgetting about my broom that then fell too the ground.

"I promise I didn't give her the password!" I lied before picking up my broom and catching up to them. Cedric eyed me but turned back to look where he was going.

He was always so grumpy when it came to my friends and I.

"The plan for tonight is to distract the Racenclaws as much and as good as possible." He started to explain. "They're smart but what are we? _Hardworking._ Chasers, you'll keep your focus on the quaffle and score us some points. Beaters, be as violent as you will with the bludgers. Just don't aim for body. We don't want to be the cause of anyone getting hurt."

"Seriously?" Melba groaned. "How _boring."_

"Striker." Cedric warned her. "I'm being serious. If I see you aim a bludger at the Ravenclaws bodies, I will go to Sprout and suggest that your position as beater is to be replaced."

Melba rolled her eyes and her and Callie exchanged looks before shutting up.

"Twig, do your job as a keeper and stop eyeing Dendron during the entire match. It distracts you and that's why you suck at protecting the hoops."

"Well I'm sorry but it's not my fault my girlfriend is so bloody gorgeous." Nate said and threw his free arm around Callie's neck. "Heard that, babe? I called you gorgeous. Now can you please forgive me for calling you ugly this morning?"

"Shut up you idiot!" Callie rolled her eyes and pushed him away before moving to the other side of me, trapping me between their argument.

"And _I."_ Cedric continued. "I will keep my main focus on the golden snitch and make sure to bring us that extra one-hundred and fifty points and bring us to a victory."

"He's sure cocky." Seth whispered in my ear, making me snicker in response.

"Wonder how he'll react when he finds out I've given the password to ten or more people." I whispered back. He laughed, causing Cedric to look back at us but we both gave him a shrug in response.

"You're not a very good head girl." Nick whispered from beside Seth as they were walking right behind us.

"No I'm not." I chuckled. "I'm probably the worst."

"Yeah." Callie agreed. "Sneaking into the forbidden forest, sneaking off to the astronomy tower to suck your boyfriend off—"

"Cal!"

"... giving the password to the prefect bathroom to a whole lot of different people just because they ask and you hate saying no. Teaching your boyfriend and his twin how to enter the Hufflepuff basement. Do I need to keep going?"

"Shut it!" I playfully shoved her in the shoulder and she laughed, nudging me with her elbow.

All throughout practice, Cedric was being really tough on the six of us. Almost acted like he was the parent and we were the children. When practice then finally finished, we had a few hours before the match started and when we left the pitch, Ravenclaw walked down to have their own practice.

I got myself some fresh clothes from my dormitory along with some towels before I took a bath in the prefect bathroom and once I was finished and dropped my things off back in the dormitory, I made my way up through the castle to see Fred whom I knew was in his common room.

I said the password which had changed like it did sometimes, though I'd always be informed by either Fred or George much to everyone else's dismay. Both of the twin boys were sitting on one of the sofas, deep in conversation about something. It seemed to be quite secretive so I figured it probably had something to do with one of their pranks.

With a smile plastered on my face, I approached the sofa where they sat and both of them jumped a little when I ran my hands over Fred's shoulders and down his chest while hugging him from behind.

"Merlin's beard, where'd you come from?" George panted slightly, placing a hand over his heart while Fred turned to look at me with a slight smile. I smiled back, then placed a soft kiss on his lips.

"From my mother's uterus." I told his brother and looked at him. "But you're not ready for that conversation yet."

_My mother._

Fred laughed at my comment, seeing his brothers offended face before he grabbed my hand and guided me around the sofa, pulling me down to sit on his lap.

"What were you gossiping about?" I asked them as I wrapped an arm around Fred's neck, my knees in the direction of George so I was facing him and not facing away. Fred had an arm over my legs, holding the side of my thigh to hold me against him while his head was slightly leaned back, eyes focused on my face.

"Nothing." he smiled smugly, causing me to look at him. I studied his face, from his eyes that glistened in the light from the ceiling, to the way the corner of his lips were turned slightly upwards. "Just discussing some plans for Christmas. Nothing more."

"Ahh." I nodded.

"You're spending Christmas with your friends at Callie's, right?" George asked and I shrugged in response, my fingers fidgeting with the collar of Fred's shirt.

"I'm actually going home instead." I said, biting my lip. "Yeah, my dad wants to spend Christmas together and try and safe the remaining of our relationship."

"Oh?" Fred raised his eyebrows. "You didn't tell me that."

"No, well I just found out this morning." I lied and smiled softly at him. "It'll be okay. Maybe we won't be fighting as much."


	44. Chapter 44

Playing our first match of the season felt fucking amazing. I could feel the adrenaline spread throughout my body as I rushed through the air on my broomstick. I managed to score a whole lot of points and so did Seth while Nick got hit by a bludger and ended up in the hospital wing. On that part it didn't go well.

At the start of the match, Nate was distracted by Callie like usual but after he failed to block a quaffle and Cedric yelled at him, he got his shit together and blocked a whole lot of others. Callie and Melba also did really good. They were being really violent with the bludgers but instead of hitting anyone, they used them to distract them by throwing it right in front of their faces.

When Nick got his by the bludger it was straight to the head and I had rushed to get him when I saw him fall down towards the ground. The game had been paused and luckily I managed to catch him before he hit the ground with his head first. He still had a confusion but he was going to be alright.

"Would you stop laughing?!" Callie exclaimed and hit Nate in the chest for the third time. Every time he looked at Nate who was still out and laying in the hospital bed, he'd laugh until he couldn't breathe. He thought Nick had looked funny when he got hit in the head and Seth tried to hold back his own laugh because he didn't want Callie to hit him too. "He could've been seriously hurt you absolute fool!"

Once Nate's laughter died down again, the room went pretty quiet. I was fixing the duvet that was covering Nick, making sure he was warm and cozy and Melba who sat up next to him in the bed, brushing her fingers through his hair.

"You _do_ baby him a lot, don't you?" it came from one of my favourite ginger boys as they entered the hospital wing and approached us by the bed. George placed himself at the end of the bed, placing his hands on the footboard while Fred stood next to me, his arms folded over his chest.

"We do." Melba explained, keeping her eyes on Nick. "He's like a little brother to all of us."

"Yeah." I agreed, nodding slowly before I looked at George who had asked the question. "He needed us a lot back in year three when his father grew sick. He was extra vulnerable so ever since we'd all been very protective of him."

"Is his dad alright?" Fred asked and looked down at me.

I opened my mouth to respond but I got cut off.

"His dad is fine." it came from Seth, a certain hostility in his voice as his eyes stared straight at Fred while everyone looked at him. "He got better and now he's fine as long as he's taking his medication."

Silence.

"Are you okay, Doe?" Fred asked and tilted his head. "Your face is weird. You don't suffer from any condition, do you? I mean, I'm not trying to be offensive, I just want to make sure to I know why you keep looking at me like you want to kill me."

I tugged at Fred's jumper to hopefully get him to drop it because I knew that with a comment like that, Seth wouldn't be able to stand dow–

"Maybe I simply _want_ to kill you."

_Here we go..._

"Oh?" Fred raised an eyebrow and shrugged slightly. "Why is that? Because the girl you love loves someone e–"

 _"And_ we're leaving!" I exclaimed, grabbing Fred's arm harsh enough for my nails to dig into his skin. "C'mon. You too, George."

I mouthed an apology to Seth before dragging Fred out of the hospital wing, George willingly following behind.

"What the fuck?!" I yelled as soon as the door closed behind us. I turned to Fred while George leaned against the wall, an amused grin on his face over the fact that we were most likely about to have an argument.

_"What?"_

"What do you mean; _what?!"_ I hissed. "Why did you have to put him on the line like that?!"

Fred's eyes flicked from my lips to my eyes when I stopped talking and after just looking at my face for a moment, he laughed sarcastically, shaking his head.

"You're defending him?"

"Defe– no one is defending anyone!" I yelled. "But Seth is my best friend and you had no right talking to him like that!"

"And I'm your boyfriend!" He yelled even louder than me. "He's been sending me those death glares since we got back together but do you tell _him_ to back off? No! He gets to treat me the way he likes and when I try to defend myself, you get pissed at _me!"_

I scoffed, taking a step towards him.

"That was _not_ you defending yourself." I told him. "You were being rude and you were pushing it in his face that I'm with you instead of him."

"Is that what you want?" He asked, being the one to now take a step closer to _me._ "Do you _want_ to be with me instead of him?"

"Alright, Freddie." George pushed himself away from the wall and tried pushing his brother away by his chest. "You need to—"

"Are you serious?" I cut George off, my eyes focused on Fred. "Are you actually being serious right now?"

"Guys, maybe you should—"

"Shut up George!" We yelled at the same time and in response he held up his hands in surrender, taking a step back and away from us.

"You should be defending me once in a while!" Fred yelled. "I'm your bloody boyfr—"

"I am defending you!" I screamed. "All the _fucking_ time! I've been defending you every time my friends told me it was a bad idea to take you back! What just happened was _your_ fault so shut the fuck up, stop being so insecure and grow up!"

At the last three words, I pushed him in the chest before taking a step back, exhaling the heavy breath that had been stuck in my lungs.

"The only reason you're insecure about us is because you cheated on me. Cheaters are always looking to catch someone else cheat so they can dodge the blame."

"You just couldn't help yourself, could you?" He scoffed. "Just _had_ to bring that up."

"Well you know it's true!" I raised my voice again. "And right now I don't need you breathing down my neck and accusing me of loving anyone but you, you fucking asshole!"

His face softened and instead of yelling something back, his eyebrows came together in a small frown.

"What's that supposed to mean? _Right now?"_

I shook my head, refusing to answer that question. I hated fighting with him but I also hated that he spoke like that to Seth.

I knew Seth were struggling with this due to the feelings he had for me and I wanted to help him through it but my boyfriend acting like that sure didn't help.

_"Julie."_

In response I raised my hand and flipped him off. _"Piss_ off."


	45. Chapter 45

"Can anyone tell me what Amortentia is?" Professor Snape asked as if we didn't already know. We learned it last year but we went through everything again this year so we could graduate.

"Amortentia is a love potion, sir." Alicia spoke up. "The strongest of them all. You smell what attracts you. Or _who_ attracts you."

I glanced at Fred who sat next to me, fidgeting with the opening of his robes while staring down at it.

Snape continued to talk but I didn't listen as my eyes were focused on my boyfriend. It had only been a couple of days since our fight but we hadn't talked since and I was sad that I hadn't hugged him or kissed him in those days.

Suddenly he stood up and looked at me when I didn't. I frowned, looking around to see everyone get up and starting to gather ingredients.

"Did you hear what he said?" Fred asked. "Get up. We're working alone today."

We gathered ingredients and decided to share them so we didn't have ton of stuff on our table. We had to talk at some point. Maybe after class. I didn't want to because I didn't want us to have another fight. We were both stubborn so I had no idea what was going to happen.

Nick was still in the hospital. He had a pretty bad concussion, meaning he had to stay there for some days until he felt better.

"You're doing it wrong." Fred's voice came from beside me when we were both in the middle of brewing the potions.

"I'm not doing it wrong." I scoffed. "Stop nagging me."

"You're supposed to— here, let me."

He took over and I watched his lips as he explained it to me, looking at my face now and then to see if I was understanding and I simply nodded in response.

When everyone's potions were finished, we listened to Professor Snape instruct us to individually smell our potions with the people we shared a table with.

Seth was the only of my friends who didn't sit by the table. He sat with Angelina at a table across the room.

"I wanna start!" Callie exclaimed, opening the vial that contained the pink liquid. I placed my elbow on the table, resting my chin in my palm as I looked at her when she smelled it.

Then she smiled sweetly and leaned into Nate who laughed, wrapping his arm around her.

"I smell you, _of course."_

"But what _is_ Nate?" George asked with a playful grin. He did the same thing last year. He wanted everyone to explain the scents people were smelling because he found it hilarious.

"Wet grass." Callie started off, looking at George. "Mixed with his cologne and then of course cherries from the tree in his garden."

"How adorable." I pouted. "I'm gonna barf."

In response, Callie quickly curled up a piece of parchment she had been doodling on, then threw it at me, making me laugh.

"Go on then." She nodded at me. "Tell us what _you_ smell."

I rolled my eyes and grabbed my vial, opening it.

"Yeah, go on." Fred said with a certain tone in his voice. "Tell us _who_ you smell. _Me_ or—"

"Would you shut up?" I looked at him and he raised a challenging eyebrow. "If this is how you're gonna play— you go before me. Let's see if you meant the things you said. If it meant _nothing."_

He scoffed in response and quickly grabbed his own vial. He smelled it quickly, then looked at me, his jaw tense.

"Parchment, quidditch equipment, snow and _your_ perfume." He almost spat. He was annoyed but I didn't care because so was I. "There. I _just_ proved myself. _Your_ turn."

"You guys are acting really childish." George spoke but he was ignored as I smelled my own Amortentia.

Then I closed the vial and placed it back on the table without saying anything.

"So?" Fred asked and I simply shrugged. "I _knew_ it. Smelled _him_ , didn't you?"

"Alright back off." Melba broke in, pointing a finger at Fred. "You're a fucking idiot to think she'd ever do to you what you did to her."

"Smoke." I said all of sudden, turning in my chair to look at Fred. "I smelled smoke, I smelled pine which reminds me of the trees near the Burrow where you grew up. I smelled your cologne. The one you _have_ to have because apparently you _can't_ wear anything else than that. And I also smelled fireworks like the ones you and George always made and then showed me because you were so goddamn proud."

He let out a breath.

"And how do I know it's not George you're into?" He asked. "We've basically got the same scent."

I laughed sarcastically, shaking my head.

"Keyword; _basically._ George's scent is more sweet, more sugary from all the candies he eat all the time."

" _What?"_ It came from George. "I don't eat candy _all_ the time."

"Yeah you do." Nate snickered.

"Don't _fucking_ start acting like that towards me." I told Fred. "Just because you couldn't keep your lips to yourself in our relationship, doesn't mean I'll be doing the same. I would _never_ even _consider_ kissing someone else."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay." He repeated. "I'm sorry. Can we go back to what we're supposed to do and then have this conversation later?"

I let out a small hum as I turned back around in my chair, my eyes landing on George at the other side of the table.

"Your turn." I said and offered a small smile. Hopefully we could just resume so that the air wasn't so awkward after Fred and I just argued in front of them.

"Oh I'm not gonna smell anything." George shrugged and opened his vial before moving it up to his nose. "Yep. _Nothing."_

"Well, _I_ smell campfire smoke, ash, vanilla, green grass, honey and aftershave." Nick said with a shrug. He had been sitting there, smelling his Amortentia this whole time while Fred and I argued. "Have no idea what that means."

_I do._

_Cedric._

"Right. Melba?" Callie asked but Melba who had been smelling hers as well, shrugged.

"I don't smell anything."

"Can I go now?" Nate raised a hand a little, smiling smugly before his eyes landed on Callie. "Perfume and strawberries."


	46. Chapter 46

_"What did you smell in your Amortentia?"_

_"I don't know. Perfume was the strongest scent and behind that I got the hint of quidditch equipment, parchment and... snow for some reason but then there was lemons too. Like the ones you used to eat all the time."_

Seth had smelled me. I mean, I really wasn't surprised, seeing as he had already told me how he feels but I still felt so bad for him. He was my best friend, he means so much to me and I hate to see him go through something like that.

I know what it's like to see the person you love with someone else. That's why I can't keep fighting with Fred when I just want to be with him.

 _"Mimbulus Mimbletonia."_ I whispered to the fat lady in the dark. She looked at me with tired eyes but decided to not question my intentions. The painting opened and I snuck inside, waiting for it to close again before I tiptoed my way towards the stairs to not made the floor give away that I was here doing the night.

I hissed softly when the door to Fred's dormitory creaked. I stilled and waited for a moment to hear if anyone woke up but when no one did, I slowly made my way inside and closed the door again but once again it made sound.

This time no one woke up either so I snuck over to Fred's bed where he was sleeping peacefully on his back, an arm under his head and another hanging off the bed.

I pushed the covers away a little and crawled into bed with him. I threw a leg over his body and wrapped my arms around him as I laid on top of him, my head resting under his chin. He made a small sound before I felt both of his arms wrap around me while he was asleep.

I nuzzled my head against him, closing my eyes with a smile on my lips.

"I miss you." I whispered, knowing he couldn't hear me, but I didn't care.

"I miss you more." His voice came softly from underneath me. He pulled the covers up over the both of us before wrapping the arm around me again. "Couldn't sleep?"

"No." I muttered. "Had a nightmare. Needed you."

This whole thing with my mum and knowing she was a different person that I had been told... it got me stressed and the nightmare revolved around her and my dad. In my dream, my dad was hitting me and when I found my mum she didn't want me, told me I was a disgrace and an embarrassment.

I was scared that it was going to be true. I knew from her diary that she loved me but what I found her and she took one look at her now 17-year-old daughter and decided that she wanted nothing to do with me.

"I'm here." Fred whispered against my hair. "Try and sleep. I've got you, darling."

His arms tightened around me and I smiled when he pressed a kiss to my head.

Two whole weeks had passed since our fight and this was the first time we cuddled since then. It was currently the night to Monday and on Saturday morning we'd all be going home for the holidays.

The next morning, Fred and I woke up about the same time but the dormitory was empty and we were the only one in here.

George's bed was empty.

Lee's bed was empty.

Kenneth's bed was empty.

Fred was running his fingers through my hair, brushing it back and out of my face while he had an arm wrapped tightly around my back.

I wanted to stay like this forever but it was Monday and breakfast ended at 8:30 before our first class was at 9:00. We had charms. Two hours of it.

"Do you wanna talk about your nightmare?" Fred whispered. I lifted my head to look at his face and then shook my head. "Okay. Do you want to get out of bed then? The most healthy thing to do would be get some breakfast before the day starts."

My nose scrunched up in response but I still got off of him and stood up. Fred propped himself up on his elbows, watching me while I tried to brush through my hair using my fingers.

"I have to go all the way down to the basement to get dressed." I sighed. "I should've brought my uniform up here."

One corner of his lips turned up into a small smirk.

"Even better–" I sighed. "...I have to pee."

"Let me get dressed first." Fred groaned before managing to get out of bed. "Then I'll walk you down to your common room."

He leaned down to peck my cheek on his way to his dresser. I followed him but leaned against the wall to watch him find his uniform.

He looked really peaceful. His face was soft as his eyes followed every item that he pulled out of the dresser. He would glance at me from time to time and smile when our eyes met. He could be a jerk but boy did I love him.

"The dream was about my parents." I blurted, closing my eyes as soon as I had said it. Now I _had_ to tell him. Maybe that's what my brain was trying to do. To get me to open up to him. The sounds of the drawers opening stopped and I knew Fred was looking at me, his actions frozen. "I lied to you about my mum's diary. It said nothing about any affair."

"...okay?" his voice came out softly, causing me to open my eyes so I could see his expression. He was watching me with his eyebrows knitted together in a small frown, confusion showing in his eyes. "What did it say then? You were out of yourself after reading the pages."

"She uh— my mum's..." I let out a heavy breath, folding my arms over my chest. "My dad lied to me. You know how my mum's a Muggle?"

He nodded.

"Well apparently she's not." I chuckled out of a slight frustration that I felt in my chest. "She was a witch and she attended Hogwarts. I asked Sprout about it and she remembers my mum. _Annie Rivers._ My mother who left us. Now I know why she did. He was hitting her."

Fred kept looking at me as he pulled his shirt over his head

"Your dad?" He questioned. "He was hitting your mum?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "And apparently I have two older brothers who saw him hit her. She had to leave but she left me with my dad because I was two weeks old and she knew my dad would give me a good life."

My throat started to tighten but I cleared it, closing my eyes while taking a deep breath.

_Don't cry._

"And he _did_ give me a good life. The only thing I don't have is a mum." I said, opening my eyes again to look at him. His hazel eyes were still focused on me, his fingers pushing the buttons through the holes of his dress-shirt. "And brothers... I have brothers. Matteo and Ezra."

Fred's actions froze and his eyes slowly flicked to the wall.

"Matteo and Ezra?" He asked. "Brothers?"

_Wait._

"You know them?"

"Well, I don't _know_ them." He breathed. "And I don't know if they're who you're talking about. There was these two brothers who went here a few years ago. I've only come across them a few times due to some of me and George's pranks."

I pushed myself away from the wall and leaned my hands on the dresser while looking at Fred as he started buttoning his shirt again.

"They were named Matteo and Ezra?"

"Yes." He nodded slowly. "Matteo was the oldest, three years older than Ezra. I'm pretty sure they were in Hufflepuff. You don't remember anyone called Matteo and Ezra?"

"No." I shook my head quickly. "N-No I don't. Tell me about them. _Please_ tell me what you know. I need to— n-need to—"

Fred placed a hand against my jaw to calm me down, his thumb caressing my skin.

"Hey." He whispered. "I'll tell you."

He pulled me closer and wrapped his arm around my shoulders while kissing my forehead.

"Ezra graduated when we finished our fifth year." He told me. "Matteo when we were finishing our second. Both were pretty quiet guys, though they got angry when they were the victims who of the pranks."

How did I not remember two boys from my own house named Matteo and Ezra? I couldn't remember it at all. Not even if I tried and right now I _was_ trying to remember. I couldn't. I had no idea who they were.

"What were their last names?" I asked. "Do you know?"

"Evergreen." He told me. "Yeah, Matteo and Ezra Evergreen. I know that's neither yours or your mothers last name but it _could_ still be them."

I shrugged and stepped back,

"Probably isn't." I muttered. "Might just be some coincidence."


	47. Chapter 47

My bedroom was itself. Looked the same as always, smelled the same as always. My room was quite big, just down the hallway from my dads bedroom and then there was the two doors that were always locked with a certain smell and I didn't care to undo it because I was scared of my dads anger.

I knew one of the rooms were my mum and dads old bedroom but the other one I didn't know about. Didn't know what it was hiding.

The walls of my room were a light shade of grey and so was the ceiling while the floor was a light wood.

My bed was queen-sized, pressed up against the corner of the room. The mattress was covered in grey sheets and the duvet covers were white with grey stripes. My six usual throw pillows sat in the corner by the bed frame and the duvet was hanging off the bed slightly, covering the three drawers under it. My grey blanket was also thrown over the bed and on the wall hung my four dream catchers in different colors and sizes. On the other wall above the bed was my white shelf, covered in picture frames I bought here in the Muggle world along with a candle and in one end was a plant that had grown over the years and almost reached the floor.

A stack of books were piled up on the floor next to my bed and a lamp formed as a star. By my bed was a white fur carpet and next to the door where I stood, was my closet and under the window was my desk.

I had missed my room. I loved being in here but now I knew that growing up here and living in this room had been great but everything was based on a lie.

With a sigh, I let my trunk drop to the floor, then walked over and let myself drop on the bed on my stomach.

_Matteo and Ezra Pegas._   
_Matteo and Ezra Rivers._   
_Matteo and Ezra... Evergreen?_

_Fuck._

I rolled over on my back, staring at the grey ceiling. My ceiling fan was turned off, though it was almost turned on because my room got quiet hot all year around. I'd probably turn it on in a moment.

I had to find a moment to confront my dad about the diary, about the things I've learned about my mum in the last three weeks.

"Julie!" His voice called from downstairs. "Your shoes are spread across the floor. You know what I think about that!"

I sighed and looked placed a hand on my face before forcing myself to sit up. I scooted to the edge of the bed, stood and left my room.

On my way down the hallway, I shot a glance at the two doors that were locked, then turned the corner and hurried down the stairs.

"Sorry." I muttered when I passed my dad on the way to the foyer. I crouched down and picked up my shoes, placing them neatly by the wall.

"I need to speak to you." He said. I looked up. He had turned around and was now facing me in the doorway that connected the foyer to the kitchen where the staircase was that led upstairs. "Something I found."

I frowned but when he turned around and walked into the kitchen, I followed. Dad leaned against the kitchen counter and when I approached him, he opened his palm, revealing the black hammered metal ring.

"Wha—" I frowned and looked down at my hand. I had put the ring in my pocket so that my dad didn't see it. He never liked that I dated Fred and I didn't want him to question the ring. "You went through my pockets? You can't do that!"

"J plus F." He spoke, ignoring me. "Julie plus— Fred? You're still with that boy?"

I didn't answer his ridiculous question. I glanced up at his face, then looked at the ring in his hand.

"Give it back!" I ordered, holding out my hand. "That's mine and you have no right taking it from me."

"No right?" He scoffed. "Who raised you if I may ask? Who gave you everything you own? Who gave you the possibility to study at Hogwarts with other witches and wizards? I could've easily had you walk around at home for all of those years."

I gritted my teeth as I watched my dad. I hated when he brought up those things. When he used it against me.

"Children. Don't. Owe. Their. Parents. _Anything."_ I said through gritted teeth, clenching my fists by my side. "Give me back my ring. Fred made it for me and it means a lot to me."

"Oh it means a lot to you, does it?" He asked in a taunting voice before he threw it on the floor. I quickly crouched down and caught it before it rolled off. I slid it onto my finger, then looked at my dad again. "I don't want you seeing that boy."

"Why not?"

"Because I say so!" He raised his voice. "I don't want you seeing that boy and I don't want you spending more time with his family than you've already had over the years."

"You're just fucking afraid that they tell me the truth about my mother that you're too scared to do!" I blurted without even thinking. Dad's face dropped and he stood up straight, looking at me while I felt the blood drain from my face.

" _What_ have they told you?"

"Nothing." I hurried to say. "They haven't told me anything."

It was true. They hadn't told me anything. The things I knew were stuff I read in my mother's diary.

"Go to your room."

I spend another moment of just looking at my dad before I scoffed in response and made my way towards the stairs. "Fucking hate you."

On the way up the stairs, I grabbed the photo off the wall and brought it with me up to my room. A photo of dad and I when I was eight. I was sitting on a chair and he was holding his hands on my shoulders, looking proud.

What was there to be fucking proud of? What things have I done that he should be proud of? I'm obviously a disappointment in his eyes. The way he looks at me. Always as if he resents me. I hate it.

I cast a quick silencing spell on my door before I smashed the framed photo against the floor, letting out a frustrated scream at the same time. I hated that he acted like that towards me. Going through my pockets as if he _knew_ I had something to hide. Taking my ring, then throwing it on the floor when I ask for it back. Telling me to go to my room when I reveal that I do know something.

I crouched down and brushed some of the glass away from the photo, picking it up before taking a look at it. Then I decided to rip it in half but that wasn't enough. I continued to rip it until it was no longer visible what the photo had looked like or who were on it.

I let myself drop to sit on the floor, my legs bended with the broken glass between them. I ran my hands up into my hair to tug on it and closed my eyes to try and relax myself.

This always happened. Every time I was home and my dad said something, every time he tried to punish me over something, I felt like I was going crazy, that I couldn't control my own mind. I felt a tear slip from eye but I wiped it aways so quick that it didn't even reach my cheekbone.

I opened my eyes again and looked down at the broken glass and the ripped up photo. My eyes landed on one of the bigger pieces of glass and the thoughts that went through my mind scared me.

As quick as I could, I grabbed my wand and pointed it at the stuff on the floor. "Deletrius."

I watched as the photo and the glass disappeared into smoke until there was nothing left. I couldn't believe that I got that thought again. The urge to hurt myself like I used to do. Fred was the one who helped me move on from all the insecurities and the hate I had towards myself. He's the one who helped me feel better to the point where I didn't want to hurt myself anymore. I hadn't had the urge since I was sixteen so suddenly feeling like that again over something as simple as an argument between my dad and I.

This is why I always try to not come home for the holidays or for other school breaks. I always try to either be with my friends or with Fred.

I scooted my way backwards until I felt the wall against my back. My eyes stayed on the area where the stuff had laid just a moment ago and then I started crying when I remembered the feelings I felt every time I hurt myself.

It was a relief from the pain I felt on the inside. A way to have control over something when I didn't have control over the way I looked or the way I felt. Feeling that again just now scared the shit out of me and I wanted Fred to be here so he could hold me and comfort me, get the thoughts to stop like he always did.

I had been home for less than an hour and I already needed him.

_My Gryffindor..._


	48. Chapter 48

"I need you to be honest with me." I said as I sat down on the sofa, across from the chair my dad usually sat in while reading the muggle newspaper. He wanted nothing to do with the Wizarding world anymore. Even broke his wand before I was even born. Told me it was so that he and my mum could live the muggle life that she was used to but she wasn't even a muggle.

My dad hummed in response but he didn't took his eyes off of the newspaper in his hands. He wasn't the slightest interested in what I had to say but I knew he _would_ be once I spilled the beans.

I ran a hand through my now much darker hair. I dyed it a dark brown today. Thought I needed a change and a distraction from what happened a few days ago. The thought had kept coming back to me. The urge to hurt myself but I didn't do it.

"I found mum's diary."

My dad's eyes stilled on whatever they were looking at and then they slowly moved up to look at me from over the top of the newspaper. A moment passed and then he folded it, placing it on the coffee table.

"Your mum's what?" he asked. "Your mum didn't keep a diary and if she did, she would've taken it with her when she left."

_He didn't know she kept a diary. Oh Merlin, she must've been_ _ really _ _scared of him._

I gulped.

"S-She did." I stuttered. "I found it in the desk drawer in her room."

My dad crossed a leg over his knee as he leaned back, raising his eyebrows while motioning for me to continue. His eyes told me that he thought I was full of shit.

"And how did you get into the room if I may ask?"

"That's–" I took a deep breath before deciding to just blurt it out. "I know she's not a muggle like you said and I know she left because you were hurting her."

He stayed silent, observed me while his eyebrows slowly dropped and realization hit him.

"And I know about my brothers." I added. "Matteo and Ezra."

"Well—" he breathed. "Then you also know that your mother never cared about you. She had two sons and when she got herself a daughter, she packed her stuff, took _my_ sons and left. She only loved your brothers. You meant _nothing."_

I gave him a look as if he was full of hair, then turned my head, lifted my chin and shook my head softly so that it was barely visible. "That's not true."

"Who's here, Julie?" He asked and stood up while raising his eyebrows at me again. "Who raised you? Fed you? Made sure you had clean clothes and a bed to sleep in? Who gave you a dog for your fifth birthday and held a memorial for your sake when she died last winter?"

My dad stood up and I followed him with my eyes as he walked over to the fireplace where a familiar vase stood on top of it where we always hung the stockings.

"This was your mothers." He said and looked at me. My mouth fell open when he pushed it with one finger, letting it fall over and smash on the floor, making me flinch. "I lied to you to keep you safe. I'm the only one who loved you and that _woman_ took my sons from me and left while I was asleep with you in the bassinet next to the bed."

He walked to the smaller vase that stood on the end of the fireplace and my throat immediately tightened.

"Don't!" I screamed, my eyes wide when he grabbed the small vase and undid the lid. "Dad please don't."

I started to cry as I put my hands up to cover my mouth and nose. That was my dogs ashes. _Millie._ She was a pug and dad had given her to me when I was five. She was my only company while dad was working, not giving two shits about me.

"What're you doing?" My voice was weak as he acted like he accidentally dropped the vase, the ashes pouring out onto the carpet. "Why did you do that?!"

My voice was full of hurt, bouncing off the walls and ringing in my own ears.

"I will not have my own daughter come to me and accuse me of such things!" He yelled. "That wouldn't have happened if you had kept your mouth closed. I didn't hurt your mother. She left because she _hated_ you."

"Stop lying!" I screamed. "You hurt her and she was forced to leave!"

I stood up when he didn't respond and I walked over to try and scoop the ashes back into the vase but then my dad kicked the vase, sending it flying through the room. I flinched and stared straight ahead while my dad stood next to me.

"I know you don't want to believe it." He said, his chilling voice sending chills down my spine. "No one likes to be told that their mother hates them but you can't keep living in that imaginary world of thinking she'd _actually_ want you."

The tears were coming out stronger and it stung behind my eyes. My eyebrows came together in a frustrated frown as I tried to keep the sob back that soon escaped my lips, though my hair were hiding my face so he couldn't see it, only hear it.

"Oh, you're crying now?" He asked. "Go to your room, Julie. Stop being such an insufferable fool and get up from the floor."

"You're supposed to love me." I cried in a whisper. I wiped my cheeks and tilted my head back to look up at him while I raised my eyes. "You're supposed to care but you never did, did you?"

I stood up and turned towards him.

"You tolerated me and you raised me because you _had_ to. Stuff and money doesn't equal love. You _chased_ my mother and my brothers away. I know love because I receive that from my friends, from my boyfriend and _all_ of their families so I know what love feels like which isn't something you've ever given me and I have been _so_ stupid to not realize it until now!"

"Go to your room." He repeated.

"No!" I yelled. "You're a _fucking_ coward. I can't believe I have lived under your roof my entire life without knowing that _you_ are the insufferable fool! You're the bad guy here. There was never _anything_ wrong with me. It was all you, you fucking—"

The sound of a clap filled the room and my head snapped to the side. It had happened so fast that I didn't realize what had happened before I felt the stinging in my cheek, spreading to my jaw and the corner of my lip. For a moment, it was like everything in the world stopped and there was a ringing in my ears.

"Get out of my house." He said, the chilling in his voice, scaring me more than the slapping itself. "Go to one of those families you claim love you _so_ much. I'll be at the office but when I come home tonight, I want you gone."

I stayed in the exact spot where he had slapped me, my head still turned to the side, trying to comprehend what happened and I didn't move until I heard the front door slam.


	49. Chapter 49

I stared at myself in the mirror.

His slap had left a lot of redness. All the way from my cheekbone, to my cheek, to my jaw and a drop of blood had made it's way down to my chin and dropped onto my white plain t-shirt.

_He hurt me._

He had never hurt me before. It only proved what my mother had written. He was violent. He needed to be provoked but he _was_ violent.

I had to get away from here. It had been an hour since he left and I had been in the living room, trying to clean up after the vase that shattered and the ashes on the floor.

The ashes were now in a necklace that hung around my neck. I used a spell to make the ashes to a heart pendant.

I turned away from the mirror, hurrying my way into my bedroom. I needed to pack everything that meant something to me and then I needed to get away. I didn't know where to go. Callie's home or Fred's?

Probably Callie's. I didn't want to bother Fred and his family. I knew that not only would his siblings be there, meaning Charlie and he's always terrified me but Harry Potter and Hermione Granger would most likely also be there and that would just be too many people seeing me cry and seeing me bruised from my own father striking me.

Never have I been happier about having my apparition license when I had finished packing and apparated myself to Callie's home. I landed outside, the cold air hitting my face and blowing through my hair.

Callie and her family lived in this big mansion in north London. They were a family of five so that had loads of space. It was a light house. The outer walls were a beige color brown it's white windows and a grey roof and plants growing up the walls.

On the other side of the gate was a path that led up to the stairs to the front door and on ech side of the path was a row of maple trees. Since it was winter, they were quite dead but in the spring and during the summer they would blossom and it would look absolutely beautiful.

The gate has a system so that when a wizard or a witch approaches it, it opens automatically, meaning that it opened for me and closed behind me when I walked through.

_I forgot my coat._

Oh well. I weren't going back there. Never again. There was nothing for me there anymore. Nothing of sentimental in that room anymore, not after I packed it all in my trunk and bags.

"Julie?" I heard the familiar sound of Callie's mum and when I turned I saw her emerge from between two of the trees. "Oh my— whatever happened to you, darling?"

She put down the dog Jenkins that she was holding and the golden retriever then ran up towards the house.

"Hi." I mumbled, my eyes looking everywhere but straight at her. "I'm sorry to come unannounced b-but he uh— my dad."

"It's okay, love." She assured me as she rushed over and took my face in her hands, carefully turning my head to look at the bruised and sore side of my face. "Let's get you inside and get you a blanket. You must be freezing."

She helped me by taking some of my luggage before wrapping an arm around my shoulders and leading me inside of the house. It was as I remembered it. I hadn't been here for a couple of years but the foyer was as big as I remembered and I was as fascinated.

"We'll leave your stuff here and go to the kitchen for some tea and a chat, how does that sound?" Olivia sent me a soft smile and I nodded slightly, letting her lead the way to the kitchen after we put my luggage down. "The boys and girls are sleeping but they'll be happy to see you when they wake up."

It was early in the morning. Probably not earlier than seven and not later than eight.

I took a seat by the kitchen island and I started to move my finger around in circles on the surface.

_He hurt me._

"Where are the stupid wet wipes." Olivia mumbled to herself as she went through the cabinets under the counter. "Do you want to tell me what happened, love? Did something happen with your dad?"

"My dad." I chuckled, shaking my head. "I don't think you can call him that. He's my father but he's _not_ my dad. He struck me when I confronted him about the truth."

Olivia stopped her actions as she had found the wipes, her eyes on me. "Oh sweetheart. Here, let me help you clean up the blood while you tell me what happened. Maybe I can help."

She walked around the table and pulled out a wet wipe before tilting my head back, using her hand. She started carefully cleaning up the line of blood but when she tapped the wipe against my lip, I flinched with a hiss leaving my mouth.

"It's going to bruise." She told me. "Right now it's only red but in a day or two the blood that has connected under your skin will turn a bluish or a purple color. Another five to ten days and it'll turn into a greenish color. In about two weeks, it should turn yellow and then the bruise should start to fade."

"Two weeks." I sighed. "Well at least it will fade before school starts again."

My lip felt swollen. It probably _was_ swollen. I wish I could turn back time. I was going to look so ridiculous with half my face bruised.

"Now, tell me what happened leading up to it." Olivia said, offering me a smile before she sat on the chair next to mine.

"Uh— well, I found my mum's diary and I found out that she wasn't a muggle. My father lied to me and then I found out that he used to hit my mum and that's why she took my brothers and left.

"Your brothers?"

"Mum!" Callie's voice sounded before she entered the room along with the others. When they saw me, they all froze and the next seconds felt like slow motion.

Everyone rushed to my side when they saw my face but Seth reached me first, grabbing onto my face as gently as he could while the five of them shot millions of questions at me and I tried to answer it my best.

Callie was the only one knowing the truth about the diary and what I read so after the had pulled me up into Callie's room where they were all staying, I told them everything.

From me finding the diary, to figuring out my life had been a lie to my dad striking me to him kicking me out.

Olivia had offered me to move in and stay with their family here at the mansion when we weren't in school and then after we graduate too.

I had taken her up on her offer, knowing I had nowhere else to go and she had always been like a mum to me. Treated me like a daughter.

I missed Fred. I wanted to see him but I didn't want to worry him with my face. I knew he _would_ be worried though. I was just scared he'd do something stupid like confront my father.

That would get himself hurt unfortunately. I didn't know my father so I didn't know what he was capable of.

I never knew he'd be capable of hitting me but here we were and my face was bruised from him doing _exactly_ that.


	50. Chapter 50

"It looks like my face was used as a punching bag." I said and looked at myself in the boutique window. It was this empty shop so that no one could look at me from the other side of the window.

"You're still beautiful though." Nick commented, making me smile.

"Karma will hit him." Melba said. "And it will hit him good."

We were currently in Diagon Alley, spending the day here before Christmas Eve tomorrow which we would just spend at the mansion with Callie's two brothers.

"Why don't we have a movie night tonight?" Nate asked and stepped up behind me, playing with my hair while grinning at me through the window, trying to cheer me up.

"Yeah, we can watch something in the home cinema." Callie suggested. "Make some popcorn and have a really great night together without any worries. Just the six of us."

"No horror films, right?" Nick asked and Callie chuckled before wrapping an arm around him.

"No horror films." She confirmed. "Perhaps a comedy? What do you say, Jules?"

"Sounds nice." I smiled. "I could use a movie night. Haven't watched one in such a long time."

I ripped my eyes away from Callie to look at my reflection in the window while Nate had started braiding my hair.

Though now I saw someone on the other side of the glass. A man in a suit was walking down a staircase and behind him followed first George and then Fred.

_What in the world are they doing in there?_

"Guys am I daydreaming or is that Fred and George?" I asked, nodding towards the shop we stood in front of.

Melba walked up to the glass and held a hand up to shield her eyes while she stared through it. Then she stepped back and nodded.

"It looks like they're closing some kind of deal?" She said, raising an eyebrow at me. "Do you know anything about that? Have they said anything?"

I shook my head and I heard Seth mutter something under his breath but I didn't hear it and I didn't question him further.

"Oh crap." I cursed. "Fred's gonna see my face."

"And why can't he see your face?" Nate asked. "He won't judge you."

"No, _but_ he'll worry and I just don't want to have to tell the story again." I said, grabbing onto his wrist, then Melba's so I could drag them away from here along with Callie, Nick and Seth.

"Julie?"

I froze at the sound of George's voice and mentally cursed before turning around. George was looking at us, mostly at me while Fred talked to the man in a suit. He glanced towards me and smiled to acknowledge me but then turned back tot he conversation to finish it, though he didn't get t because he quickly looked at me again, his eyes wide and his lips parted slightly.

A second later he stood right in front of me, hands on either side of my neck, using his thumb to tilt my head back and to the side.

"What happened?" He asked, studying my face closely. "Jules, what—"

He shook his head, frowning down at me. "What the—"

"Fred." I muttered under my breath, grabbing a hold of his wrist to lower his hands before I looked over at Callie.

I sent her a look with pleading eyes while biting my lip. She nodded, then turned towards the others.

"Guys let's go. We'll meet Julie at the leaking cauldron at six so we can go home." She said, gesturing for our friends to follow her. We exchanged small goodbyes and they said hello to George before they made their way down the street of Diagon Alley.

"Babe." Fred spoke, snapping my eyes back up to look at him. "Did someone hit you?"

"No. I did this to myself." I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes before closing them when I realized I wasn't being very nice. "I'm sorry, Freddie. I'm—"

I took a deep breath when Fred cupped my face again, tilting my head back which made me open my eyes.

"Who hit you?" Fred asked. "Was it any of your friends or—"

"My friends?" I frowned. "They would _never_ lay their hands on me."

"Alright, I'm sorry." He hurried to say. "I _know_ that. Just making sure."

He bit onto his lip, gently ghosting his thumb over the bruise which chased me to flinch due to the soreness.

"Shit that looks painful." It came from George as he walked up next to Fred. "Does it hurt? _Is_ it painful?"

"It's sore."

"You confronted your father, didn't you?" Fred asked. My eyes flicked back to him and I took a step back, his hands dropping from my face.

"Confronted her father about what?" George frowned before they both now looked at me. "Confronted your father about what?"

I sighed, chewing on my lip again before my eyes moved to the shop they had exited from a moment ago. The man in a suit had left as George had finished the conversation when Fred had seen me.

"What have you two been up to today?" I asked, nodding towards the shop. "Looking to buy that?"

"We might." Fred muttered. "But _don't_ change the subject. Did your dad hit you?"

"Fred—"

"You know what?" George asked when he could see I had a hard time opening up about it. "I'm going to go home. I'll see you soon, Jules."

He sent me a cheeky yet warm smile before grabbing his wand and disapparating from here.

"He hit you." Fred said, a frown plastered on his way while his eyes traced my face, shaking his head slightly. "Your dad fucking _hit_ you."

"Can you talk a _little_ louder?" I asked. "Don't  
think your brother in Romania heard you."

"Charlie's home." He frowned, shaking his head again before stepping closer to me, letting his fingers trace over my shoulders. "When did it happen? Why didn't you tell me? Are you okay?"

I closed my eyes but as I took a deep breath, I felt my throat tighten and a sob broke through my lips while I felt a few tears press through my lashes.

"I'm sorry." I hurried to say, wiping them away. "I didn't cry when I told my friends about it but now I'm—"

I clamped a hand over my mouth, resting my forehead against his chest as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders to hug me.

"It's okay." He whispered and pressed a kiss to the side of my head. I ran my arms around his back, holding him tightly while I closed my eyes.

"He kicked me out." I whispered through the tears. "So I'm staying with Callie."

"He kicked you— fuck okay. I'm glad you have somewhere to stay." He said, rubbing his hand up and down my back. "Did you feel like you couldn't talk to me?"

"What?" I tilted my head back to look at him. "No, not at all. I didn't want to worry you is all."

He nodded slowly before carefully pressing a kiss to my lips.

"We promised to be honest with each other, remember?" He asked softly, threading through the front of my hair with his fingers. "Of course I'll worry about you, darling. I _love_ you."

"I'm sorry." I breathed, flashing a small smile. "And I love you too."


	51. Chapter 51

"Here." Fred handed me a piece of gum, causing me to glance at him with a frown.

"Does my breath stink?" I asked. I lifted a hand and blew into it before trying to smell. "I don't smell anything."

Fred laughed, nudging me with his elbow while still holding the gum in front of me.

"Your breath doesn't stink, don't worry." He smiled. "You don't want a gum?"

"No, I'll _take_ the gum." I said took it from his hand, throwing it into my mouth.

_Mint._

Fred lifted his arm and wrapped it around my shoulders as we walked down the streets of Diagon Alley. We had some hours to spend together before I had to meet my friends at the Leaking Cauldron. I had missed him so much, so walking here with him was nice.

My own arm went around his waist as we walked close up against each other. I could feel his body heat and it always made me feel so comfortable and safe.

"Freddie?" I questioned, my voice soft and quiet. He looked down at me, humming in response. I looked up at him and smiled when our eyes met. "I trust you to be honest with me, yeah?"

"Course." He nodded. "What about?"

I nodded towards a small alleyway between two buildings and we walked in there together. I grabbed onto his collar, pulling him with as I backed up against the brick wall. Fred rested his hand next to my head, staring down at me with a faint and soft smile.

"Would I—" I let out a breath, straightening out his collar that I had messed up when I grabbed him by it. I then ran my hands down his chest before letting them drop by my sides. "I really want to talk to you and open up but I don't know how to. I need you to not get mad at me, alright?"

I tilted my head back to meet his eyes and he was now frowning, looking at me with a questioning look.

"You didn't hurt yourself again, did you?" He asked, his eyes moving down to my arms. He gently grabbed my left arm and pushed up the sleeve of my coat to look at my wrists but I shook my head and he let out a breath of relief when he didn't see any new scars over the old ones. "Then what is it? Are you doing alright?"

He placed a hand against the side of my neck, his thumb stroking over the skin of my jaw.

"When my dad— the first day I was home, he had gone through my pockets and found the ring you made for me." I said, moving the ring around in my fingers and we both looked down at it before looking at each other again. "He was being very— I don't even know. He was telling me he didn't want me seeing you and he was scared that your family had told me anything about the whole thing with my mother."

Fred nodded slowly, showing me that he was listening and telling me to go on.

"It wasn't even like he did much to provoke me but he threw the ring on the floor and basically said that I owe him because he gave me my life. Everything just came crashing back. All the things he's said to me through the years and all the feelings he's made me feel, the insecurities he made sure I had."

"Babe, you're sounding like you did something." He said. "Did you hurt yourself somewhere else? Your thighs perhaps?"

"No." I said, shaking my head. "... no but I smashed a picture of my dad and I, ripped it off and when I looked at the glass— I had the urge to do it again and I haven't felt like that for so long. It's always when I got back home. The smallest thing and I'd break. It's _pathetic."_

"Hey." He spoke, his voice coming out both soft but also stern as he ducked his head to meet my gaze. "You are _not_ pathetic. You do not control the feelings you get and you are strong as _fuck_ for fighting the urges instead of giving in."

I tried to smile up at him but I felt extremely emotionally weak. I always got like this when I opened up to him. It was like when you were a kid and you got hurt and everything was fine until your parents would ask _'are you okay?'_ And then you'd start crying.

It wasn't like that with my father but it was with Callie's mother. She's always taken care of me when we stayed at the mansion and like I've mentioned before, she's like a mother to me.

"I don't feel very strong." I muttered, looking at his chest instead of his face. "I got scared. I hadn't felt that way in a long time. Not since I first found out about you and Angelina. I thought being with you again meant it was done and over with so that overwhelming feeling really got to me."

Fred moved closer to me, his hand still resting against my jaw as he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"And I broke down." I continued. "And I missed you so much even though I had just see you the same day. _Pathetic."_

"Stop saying that." He told me, now cupping my face with both hands before pressing a hard kiss to my lips. "Don't call yourself pathetic. You are _nothing_ but."

"How is that _not_ pathetic? You tell me I'm strong but I broke down on the floor of my bedroom over _nothing."_

"It is not _nothing_ if it made you feel like shit." He told me. He ran his hands down the sides of my neck and over my shoulders, then continued down my arms until his hands found mine, lacing our fingers together. "It doesn't make you weak. You're not weak. For weeks now you've known that your father lied, known that you have brothers. You've lived with that and you didn't break because of it. That shows that you are _not_ weak."

I let out a breath I had been holding, relaxed my body against the wall while staring at his hazel eyes.

"Did you hear me, babe?" He asked. "You're not weak."

"I'm not weak." I muttered. Fred smiled, nodding at me as he gave my hands a squeeze.

"That's right." He grinned. "I want you to tell that to yourself every night before you go to bed, yeah? You'll start believing it after a while."

He brought both of our hands up, holding mine against the brick wall as he stepped closer to me, his hips touching mine.

"Do you believe me?"

I nodded.

"Good." He smiled softly. One of his hands came down to lift my chin up before he pressed his lips to mine, then dropped his other hand to my hips.

His lips against mine hurt a little because of my swollen lip but I didn't care. I wanted him to be this close and I wanted to be kissing him.

I wrapped an arm around his neck, deepening the kiss by letting my tongue travel into his mouth. He let out a him against me while my other arm went around his waist to pull him even closer if that was even possible.

I had my gum hidden in the back of my mouth so that it didn't get in the way but the kiss tasted like mint. I didn't know if it came from him or if it was me. Had he been chewing gum as well? I didn't know.

My fingers threaded into his hair as I closed my fist around it, earning a deep groan from his throat that vibrated onto my tongue and into my own mouth.

Then it broke. Fred pulled back and looked down at me with a soft grin. He brushed his knuckles over my cheekbone on the healthy side of my face, then let out a sigh.

"Do you want my help?" He asked. Not knowing what he meant, I cocked an eyebrow. "Uh— with your mum, I mean. When I get back home I can try and see if I can track her down or something. I can ask Hermione to help. I think she'd have potential to track people down."

_He'd do that for me?_

"How would you—"

I shook my head, frowning up at him before pulling him down for another kiss, though this was shorter.

"It's not dangerous, is it?"

"No, of course not." He assured me. "I can ask Hermione if there're any books we can take a look at and when we get back to school I can tell you what we figured out."

A smile spread on my face which automatically made him smile too.

"'S that a yes?"

"It's a yes _thank_ you." I nodded and this time he was the one pressing a kiss to _my_ lips. "Thank you so much."

"You already know I'd do anything for you, darling."

Maybe he'd manage to find my mother. Maybe I could meet her and have a life with her, get to know her. I never wanted to know her but that was before. Now I knew why she left, I knew she didn't feel like she had a choice so now I needed more answers but I also just needed my mum.


	52. Chapter 52

The home cinema was filled with laughter from my friends and I. We had decided to watch a comedy horror film which Nick surprisingly went along with. One of us would at one point make some kind of joke and we'd laugh. We'd also laugh about how stupid the victims in the movie were. Running upstairs when they have the front door right next to them?

When I think about it, I would probably do the same.

I would never survive a horror film. I'd probably be the first one to die.

It was nice sitting here with my friends, sharing two buckets of popcorn with them. I sat on the front line with Seth and Melba while Callie, Nate and Nick sat on the row behind us. Seth sat between Melba and I, holding a bucket of popcorn so the two of us could reach for it better.

Being here with the five of them made everything so much better. We hadn't had a movie night in years and it made me feel happy, made me forget everything else that was happening in my life at the moment.

Tomorrow was Christmas Eve. We were one week from entering the new year and I was excited because I had the feeling that 1996 would bring more joy than 1995 has. This year I was cheated on, I spent months heartbroken and then I let him in again but then I found out my best friends likes me which has caused tension between him and my boyfriend. I found out my dad had lied to me my whole life, that I do have a mother who loves me and then my dad hit me when I confronted him about it.

Yeah, this year hadn't been very pleasurable but I was sure the next one was going to get a whole lot better. Fred was tracking down my mother and my brothers for me so maybe 1996 would bring me back to the family I've longed for my entire life.

The first thing I did when the movie ended, was announcing that I needed a smoke. I really did crave it and Seth invited himself along, following me outside into the cold after we had slipped on some shoes and our coats.

"Are you excited for Christmas?" He asked and helped me light my cigarette before lighting his own.

I inhaled, holding the cigarette between my lips. I felt the smoke reach my lungs and I closed my eyes for a moment, enjoying the feeling. When I opened them again and exhaled, I noticed that Seth was staring right at me while inhaling his own cigarette.

"Excited?" I questioned. "Excited to spend it with you guys, yeah—"

I sat down on the rock that stood next to the front door, then sighed and looked up at Seth while I inhaled again.

"Knowing I don't have my own family to celebrate with kinda ruins the mood though." I exhaled. Seth crouched down next to me, then let himself fall to his behind to sit against the wall of the house.

"Family doesn't necessarily have to be blood." He explained to me. "Family is loyalty, selflessness, love and genuine care and concern for others. For each other. You choose your family, J."

While keeping my eyes on him, I guided the cigarette back between my lips and inhaled sharply. Then I exhaled after a moment.

"Well, then I choose you." I said. "You five have been more of a family to me these past six and a half years than my father has."

Seth's eyes lit up a little and a smile spread on his lips before he scooted over to make room for me on the ground, so I moved down to sit next to him.

"Fred is gonna try and track down my mum and my brothers." I told him and he turned his head, leaning it against the wall as he watched and listened to me talk.

After taking another puff of the cigarette, I coughed into my fist, then continued. "You know, I've never wanted to know her because I thought she left me but now I know she left my _dad_ and I want to know more than the stupid diary can tell me."

Seth hummed in response, taking a puff as he moved his head back to look out at the garden in front of us.

"What do you reckon your mum's like?"

"I don't know." I breathed and it was true. I had absolutely no idea. The thought had crossed my mind several times. I'd imagine what she was like but it was hard and I had to not hope for the best so I didn't get disappointed if she wasn't nice a all.

"How do you think she'll react if you find her and finally meet her?"

I chuckled and looked at him as he smiled. "What's with the questions?"

"I'm just being curious." He chuckled, nudging me with his elbow. "C'mon. What do you think'll happen?"

"You're not being curious, you're being _nosy."_ I joked before I shrugged and leaned back against the wall, inhaling my cigarette before exhaling the smoke. "No uh— I think either she'll be happy, hug me and introduce me to my brothers. Maybe she'll cry either of happiness or because of the shock of seeing me. Perhaps she can't recognize and maybe she won't even want to know me. She's lived seventeen years without a daughter and only her sons. Maybe that's enough for her. Maybe she doesn't want more. Maybe she doesn't want _me."_

"Oi!" Seth playfully smacked his hand against my knee. "Anyone would be lucky to know you and if she doesn't want anything to do with you, it's her loss."

I smiled at him and when I finished my cigarette, I extinguished it before putting it back into my pack of cigarettes to throw it out later. Seth was still only halfway on his own cigarette so I decided to stay out here and wait for him to finish.

"I _think..."_ Seth's voice sounded and I looked at him as he stared up at the dark sky full of bright stars. "... there might be something out there."

"Huh?"

He grinned as he looked at me with one eye closed while taking a puff of his cigarette.

"At the start of the school year you asked us if you though aliens existed."

_He remembered that?_

"That was such a meaningless conversation." I chuckled. "But— so you _do_ think they're real?"

He shrugged.

"I don't know about _aliens,_ but I do think there is some type of life on other planets."

"What kind of life?" I asked him. "Humans? Animals? _Plants?"_

"I don't know." He laughed, shaking his head. "Maybe plants, yeah."

I nodded.

"Wouldn't that mean there'd be water as well?" I asked. "And with water humans should be able to survive."

"Perhaps." He grinned and removed the cigarette from his lips, holding it between his thumb and his index as he looked at it with narrowed eyes. "We should quit smoking."

I couldn't help but laugh as I nodded in agreements and he looked at me, joining in on the soft laughing.

"We really should." I said. "It's a _disgusting_ habit."


	53. Chapter 53

I love my friends.

I truly do. Every single one of them. And I appreciate them. But waking me up at five in the morning even if it's the twenty-fifth of December is just _unacceptable._

Being jumped on while I'm sleeping is just plain _rude_ and shouting in my ear that it's Christmas morning while I'm dreaming about Fred... that's just some disgusting behavior.

"Julie!"

I groaned the the sound of Melba, waving her away but she just grabbed my hand and twisted it onto my back instead, making me whine in pain.

"I am _not_ having you sleep until noon when it is Christmas morning! I am _not_ having you ruin _my_ Christmas because _you_ can't get up!"

"You better get up or she'll break you arm." Nate spoke somewhere in the room.

"Melba, get _off_ of me!" I groaned, wriggling around beneath my most violent friend.

"Are you gonna get up and get dressed?" She asked, earning a quiet _'yes'_ from me. "You won't go back to sleep?"

"No!"

"Cut her some slack." Callie said. "She has to live with a bruised face for weeks. She shouldn't have to get her arm broken either."

Melba let go of my arm and I let out a sigh of relief before quickly getting up once she got off of me. I rubbed my arm, sending her a careful look as I stepped off the mattress I had been sleeping on.

"Merry Christmas to you too." I pouted slightly at her as I continued to back up until I hit a body which made me flinch before I quickly turned around.

Seth stood there, arms folded over his chest and suddenly as we looked at each other, the air in the room for awkward. It was silent until Nate interrupted it by clearing his throat.

"Should we get downstairs?" He asked. I looked at him as he reached for Callie's hand.

"I think that's a wonderful idea!" Nick hurried to say as he pulled himself out of the sofa in the corner of Callie's room.

"We'll be down in a minute!" Seth called out, grabbing around my wrist gently. I looked at him with an eyebrow raised, then looked back to our friends who watched us curiously. I smiled softly and the four of them left Seth and I alone in the room.

"What's up?" I asked, running a hand through my hair to try and untangle it a bit. He nodded towards the sofa and I followed him over to it. Once we both sat down, he let go of my wrist and ran his palms down his thighs. "Seth, are you alright?"

"I'm good." He smiled weakly. "But I have a present for you that I don't want you to open in front of everyone else."

I watched him as he got up again and walked around the sofa before crouching down where his backpack was.

"And I'm really nervous about it because I want you to like it." He told me. "I think it's going to break me if you don't."

_Right. No pressure then._

He stood up again, holding a small box square box in his hand. It was too flat to be a ring but it was definitely some type of jewelry.

"Seth—" I muttered as he sat back down next to me and carefully handed me the box.

"I'm sorry it isn't wrapped. I never really got to that part." He said and scratched the back of his neck. "I've been stressing a lot about what to give you and it finally clicked in the last minute."

I glanced at him to see him watch me with careful eyes, his teeth sunk into his lip while he waited for me to open the box.

I could feel my heart beat rapidly against my rib cage. I was terrified and I didn't even know why. It seemed to mean a lot to him which meant it meant a lot to me too. He and I had always had a really close bond, a bond we don't have with the rest of the group. I knew how he saw me, what he thought about me, how he felt and I didn't want to lead him on or give him high hopes only to be disappointed when he finally realizes that I won't fall in love with him.

I love Fred. Fred is the love of my life and the only one I want to be with and that's why I feel so bad and so guilty when I think about Seth. How it must feel like to him, how it must've felt since our fifth year while he's seen me love someone else.

My hands fumbled with opening the box but once I managed to get it open, my breath hitched in my throat and I felt Seth's scan my eyes.

"It's uh— it's made for you _specifically._ Only one of these exist." He said as I picked up the silver chain from the box. It was a bracelet with multiple pendants. "So this one is your zodiac sign— well, both of our signs. We're both Geminis. This one's a sunflower because they remind me of you—"

My eyes flicked to his face when he said that and he quickly and nervously looked at the pendant that he had picked up with his fingers.

"They're yellowish and you _radiate_ that color because you're a very happy and bright person." He said with a faint and weak smile. "This one over here is a star because that's exactly what you are, even if you don't realize it yourself. Then there's a badger because you know— _Hufflepuff."_

I chuckled at his _'duh'_ tone and that made his face soften up from the stress while his smile grew warmer.

"The planet pendant is mercury because that's the planet that rules Gemini. Then I put the number nine on the chain because I know it's your lucky number." He told me. He was pointing at the different pendants and touching some of them to show me while he was talking. "The crown here is my favorite. You might be a star but heck, you're also _some_ of a Queen."

He glanced at my face and I laughed through the tears in my eyes. His face dropped when he saw and his eyebrows knitted together into a frown.

"D-Did I do something wrong?" He asked. "You don't like it. Oh shit, I'm so _so—"_

"No." I shock my head. "No it's great. It's beautiful. I love it."

"You do?"

"Yeah." I nodded and hugged him. "Thank you, Seth. It means the world to me."

He hugged me back and while I had my arms wrapped around his neck, I looked at the bracelet clutched in my hand and my eyes landed on the two pendants that he didn't get to explain before he saw I was crying.

One was a four-leaf clover and the other was a wand.

"Will you help me put it on?" I asked and pulled back. Seth looked at me face, then nodded while his eyes dropped to the bracelet in my hand. He took it and opened it while I turned my arm over and held it out to him.

A smile was plastered on his face as he moved the chain around my wrist and closed it. His hand then wrapped around my wrist gently while the fingers on his other hand brushed over the old scars on my skin.

"You haven't done this after that last time, have you?" He asked, then looked at my face. I simply shook my head as I chewed on my lip. "Good. Just wanted to make sure."


	54. Chapter 54

After we had all exchanged presents downstairs in the main living room where the Christmas tree was, we got ready by the long dining table where Callie's dad Barney had prepared breakfast.

It was really great. He had made crumpets, cinnamon buns, pancakes with bacon, syrup and chocolate sauce. There was also a whole lot of fruit and different kind of juice and soft drinks.

Christmas breakfast at the Dendron's house was always so tasty and it was always something I looked forward to when we would spend Christmas here.

Callie's little brother Kale was having a very strong conversation with Melba about the prettiest girls at school and Lorenzo, Seth and Callie were deep in conversation about the careers they were seeking after Hogwarts and that was a conversation I listened to and would from time to time involve myself in with one sentence or a few more.

I gave Seth a new broomstick. I know I once said I wanted to buy one myself if I could afford it and that was true. The only reason I couldn't afford it was because the money I _did_ have was to buy Seth a newer model. The one he has now barely works anymore and it's hard for him to control it.

He was really happy when he saw the new broom I had gotten him. Hugged me for a long time and thanked me a million times.

It was nice seeing the reactions on everyone's faces when they opened my presents. That's something I really love and always have — giving presents. It's such a thrill to know that you've made someone's day by giving them something they like.

The table went silent for a moment when the doorbell rang throughout the house. Barney cleared his throat as he put down the cutlery. "I'll see who it is."

He pushed his chair back as he stood up and while he left the dining room, the room once again filled with chatter of different conversations.

"Psst, Jules." Nick suddenly whispered from across the table. My eyes flicked to him and I cocked an eyebrow, waiting for what he wanted to say. "Have you brought that red nail polish with you?"

"Uh– I think it's in my bag upstairs." I said. "Why?"

"Can you paint my nails later?" he asked. "I want to see what it looks like."

I smiled, nodding while he took a bite of his cinnamon roll. I knew that Nick was gay. I had known for a very long time but he wasn't out, not even to us and I didn't want to pressure him. He'd come out when he felt like it and maybe he wouldn't tell us until he had a boyfriend. I didn't care, as long as he was happy.

"Sure." I told him. "I have a purple too if you want me to do both colours."

He went to respond when raised voices came from the foyer. One was Barney and the other–

My heart dropped when I recognised the other voice, yelling and scolding Barney.

_Why was he here?_

"That sounds like your dad." Melba said, looking at me. I gulped, nodding slowly before looking around the table, nervously.

"You don't have to talk to him." Olivia told me when she noticed I went to stand up.

"He's just going to make a scene." I said. "I don't want to ruin Christmas."

I tried to force a small smile at my friends who were obviously worried. I left the dining room and walked out into the foyer, the voices getting louder. Barney had his back to me, a hand resting on the door and my father stood on the other side.

They were arguing and eventually, my father noticed me, his eyes sliding to me who approached from the back of the foyer.

"Julie, pack your things. You're coming back home!"

Dad went to step inside but Barney stepped in front of him, blocking him from getting to me.

"Get off my property."

"I _will,_ when I've got my daughter with me!"

"Julie is not coming with you." Barney explained, his voice a tad calmer which I knew was to not startle me. He knew that after my father hit me, sudden movements and loud voices had startled me so he tried not to scare me. I appreciated that.

"She's _my_ daughter, _my_ responsibility." My dad argued and I noticed Barney raised his eyebrows in surprise before he nodded.

"Exactly. She's _your_ responsibility. You're her parent but you messed the whole parenting thing up when you decided to strike her."

My dad didn't respond. He stared at Barney in anger before finally looking back at me with a certain look that scared me.

"It's okay." My fragile voice spoke. "I don't want to ruin Christmas with all this drama. I'll just— I'll pack my things."

_I don't want to._

Barney turned around at my words and looked at me, then towards the door that led to the dining room and I turned to see Olivia standing there, nervously playing with the necklace around her neck.

This was my real family and I wanted to stay but going with my dad was easier. When I was eighteen I could leave and he wouldn't have the right to come looking for me.

"You don't have to go with him." Barney told me, causing me to look at him again. "We can involve the Aurors, they can look into it and take custody away from him for hitting you."

I glanced at my dad before shaking my head.

"No, it's okay." I breathed. "I probably overreacted anyway."


	55. Chapter 55

"You told me to leave." I said quiet and softly. I refused to look at him. I sat on the sofa, looking down at my hands while he stood near the fireplace. I was sure he was looking at me and I was almost positive that his arms were folded over his chest.

"Sometimes we say things out of rage when we're angry." He told me. "You'll learn that when you're older."

"And that includes telling your daughter you want her gone?" I asked and raised my head to look at him. "Being _angry_ isn't an excuse for either slapping me or kicking me out."

"Jul—"

"You just couldn't handle that I know you lied to me my whole life." I raised my voice a little. "Why couldn't you just tell me that she was a witch? Tell me that I had siblings? I don't even know who I am!"

My dad sighed and closed his eyes as he punched the bridge of his nose.

"Stop being so dramatic."

"Dramatic?" I scoffed and pulled myself up to stand. "You're fucking unbelievable."

Dad called after me as I ran up the stairs and into my room, slamming the door behind me. He had no right calling me dramatic when I just found out that nothing he ever told me was true.

I didn't know my blood status. Was I still a half-blood? If mum was a muggle-born, I'd still be half-blood but if her parents were wizards, then I'd be of Pureblood. Not knowing, killed me.

Hopefully Fred had found something out that he'd tell me when we got back to school. I wish I could stay at spend the rest of Christmas with my friends but they didn't deserve to get their Christmas ruined because of my dads drama.

They deserved to have a nice Christmas with people they loved and that loved them. Deserved to be happy today.

Maybe I didn't. Maybe I did something wrong at any point in my life and maybe I simply didn't deserve to be happy. Maybe I deserved for my dad to hit me.

I didn't want that to be the case but I was scared that it was. My whole life I have tried to be the person that I imagine my mother to be but who exactly _is_ my mother?

I know her name and I know the names of my brothers but I don't _know_ them and I really want to.

The crazy thing is that I don't remember anyone in my house named Matteo and Ezra. Fred _did_ tell me they were quiet but I should've known them. Was I _that_ dumb?

My thoughts were currently racing. I was thinking about everything from the humiliation of my dad showing up at the Dendron's mansion to my mother and what she would be like, what she looked like.

I decided to go to bed. To take a nap so I could get a break from reality and a break from my thoughts. It had been the worst Christmas whatsoever and I wanted it to be over with.

•  
•  
•

**Fred**

The sound of Ron screaming with terror filled the house, followed by fast footsteps as George fled the area after deciding to pull a prank on our younger brother. Something revolving spiders. We loved using that on Ron, ever since we figured out that was his biggest fear.

I had decided to distance myself from this prank though. George had looked at me as if I was crazy but I had promised Julie to track down her mum so that's what I was trying to do. I sat at the dining table, looking through a book that had all British Wizards addresses in it. Dad got the books for us at the Ministry so Hermione and I were both looking through them individually.

I would do anything to get Jules away from that father of hers. He didn't deserve to know such a lovely person as her. He didn't deserve to have her as his daughter and Julie— Julie deserved so much more.

She doesn't know it, but she deserves all the happiness in the world. She was getting better, I knew she was but then she went home for Christmas and he hit her. It made her doubt herself, though I'll make sure she realizes for the second time that she's a great person and that she means so much to so many people.

"Is that Doe?" Ginny's voice filled the room, making my head snap up to look in her direction. She stood by the window, looking out at the front of the Burrow.

"Doe?" I asked. "Seth Doe?"

Ginny looked back at me and nodded while humming in response.

"He's outside, talking to mum."

Why was Seth here? Why'd he show up at my home? Unless...

In the split of a second, I had jumped out of my seat and took long steps towards the door. Once I slid into my shoes and summoned my wand, I walked outside and quickly approached where my mum and Seth were standing.

"Oh there he is." My mum smiled when she saw me approached. "Freddie dear, your friend has come to see you about something. Wouldn't tell me what but it must be important."

_He's not my friend._

"I'll go inside and leave you to it." She added and patted my back as she made her way back inside.

Seth looked up at me for a short moment, then took a long step back while he gulped harshly.

"Is Jules alright?" I asked as the first thing. That's all I wanted to know. The only reason he would be here would be if it had something to do with the girl we both loved so much.

"That's the thing—" he breathed. "I don't know."

"You don't... _know?"_

"Her father came and uh—"

_Oh for fuck sake._

"... I think she got embarrassed by the way her dad made a scene so she went with him back home but I know she was scared. I could see it on her face while she packed her stuff."

_What?_

"I know you and I aren't exactly on good terms." He continued and I rolled my eyes in response. _That was an understatement._ "I still hate you and such, but—"

"The feeling is mutual." I said. Seth snickered at my response, shaking his head with a sarcastic laugh rolling off his tongue.

"Listen, I came for the sake of my best friend, yeah? Known that girl since we were eleven and the longer she stays with that manipulating piece of shit that calls himself her father, the worse her mental health will get." Seth started speaking out of anger, probably directed towards me. "You can be a fucking asshole but I know you care about her at least as much as I do so can you _please_ go get her and have her stay with you? Her father knows where all of us live, except from you. He withdrew from the wizarding world many years ago, before Julie was even born. He doesn't even own a wand, only a broom that he fucking used to show up at Callie's house. He wouldn't be able to find her here and she needs to get away from him before he starts abusing her like he abused her mother."

Seth had been talking so fast with so much anger that he was now panting slightly. The way he looked... he really _was_ in love with Julie.

"I'll go get her." I assured him. "I won't let her spend another second under that man's roof."


	56. Chapter 56

**Julie**

The feeling of someone brushing their knuckles against my cheekbone, made my body jolt a bit as I slowly woke up from my nap. It was a nice feeling from familiar fingers but for a moment I simply thought I was still sleeping, dreaming that he was here.

I groaned softly as I rolled onto my other side, tugging at the duvet to get it up a bit but when it didn't budge, I opened my eyes to see Fred sitting on the edge of my bed.

His hazel eyes stared down at me, his fingers currently brushing my hair behind my ear while he studied my face. I slowly pulled myself up to sit, looking at him with hesitation.

"Oh shit." I cursed. "My dad is going to kill me. You can't—"

I went to get up from the bed but Fred grasped my jaw to get my attention. He pressed his lips to mine to calm me down and he succeeded as I melted into his lips for a second before he pulled back again.

"Calm down for a minute." He whispered, his eyes roaming over my face for a minute before he went to grab onto my wrists and looked at the inner side of them. "Are you okay? You alright?"

I laughed.

"You came here to ask if I'm okay?"

"I came here to get you out." He said, raising his eyebrows at me. "Seth came by the burrow and—"

"I'm not in prison." I interrupted him. "And it's not like I can actually leave. He kicked me out and I went to Callie's, but then he showed up and managed to get me back home because I'm so _fucking_ weak."

I turned my head to look away from him but his other hand came up to grasp _that_ side of my face, forcing me to look at him.

"I don't care how many times you need to hear this for it to sink in, but you are _not_ weak." He told me. "You've had a setback during winter break but that's okay, you hear me? You've come so far already with your mental health and I know that deep down you know that all of these things you are saying about yourself, is not true."

When I didn't say anything, he got off the bed and walked to his bag that he had placed by the corner of it.

"What're you doing?"

"Well, George and I came up with something for the sake of you, but we're thinking about selling it in the shop as well."

My eyebrows knitted together as I watched him take out a small jar with some white/yellowish paste in it. He came back towards the bed and sat on the edge again.

"I know you wish there was a spell to simply remove the bruise." He told me. "So I had the _brilliant_ idea to come up with some kind of paste to remove it."

Now I simply raised an eyebrow at him while a soft laugh rolled off my tongue.

 _"You_ came up with the idea?"

He playfully rolled his eyes at me while screwing off the lid. He gently dipped his fingers in it and then used his thumb to turn my head so he could smear the paste on the side of my face that was completely blue and purple from when my dad hit me.

"Maybe it was George who came up with it." He admitted. "But I'm glad he did."

"Why? Don't like my face when it's bruised?" I decided to joke. Fred chuckled softly. He could hear the playfulness in my voice so he knew I weren't being serious.

"I'd always like your face."

I looked at him but he tutted an _'uh-uh'_ before turning my head back to the former position.

"It has to sit for an hour and then the bruising should be gone." He told me when he finished. He screwed the lid back on the paste and walked back to put it in your bag. "Are you okay with staying with my family and I until school starts again? I don't like that you stay here with the man that hurt you."

Fred turned towards me and folded his arms over his chest, waiting for my response. I had to think about it. Did I want to get out of here? Yes. Was I scared that it would cause even more trouble and embarrass me further? Yes.

"Is Charlie there?" I asked softly, looking down at my lap. Fred laughed and walked back to me, sitting down before he went to lie down, his head in my lap. I smiled softly as I threaded my fingers into his hair.

"He doesn't bite, y'know."

"No, but he's scary!" I exclaimed. "He works with dragons, Freddie. What's more scary than a person who voluntarily works with dragons?"

Fred lifted his hand and brushed his fingers over my throat before he for a quick moment lifted himself so kiss the side of my neck.

"You're cute." he grinned, closing his eyes. "But Charlie's not nearly as scary as you are."

"Me?" I scoffed. "How am I scary?"

While my right hand played with his hair, my left lied on his chest. He placed his own hand on top of mine but his eyes stayed closed.

"When you're pissed, you scare the shit out of me." he admitted, raising his eyebrows for a moment before we both chuckled together. "When you look at me with those angry eyes, you look like you could spit fire and I just want to curl into a ball and hide in a corner."

My chuckle turned into a laugh and Fred opened his eyes to look at me as I covered my mouth with a hand so my dad wouldn't hear. If he came up here and found me on my bed with my boyfriend, he would kill me. Maybe not literally but I had grown scared of the man since he left my face completely bruised.

"So are you coming with me to the burrow?" he asked. I nodded slowly, placing my hand against his jaw, stroking my thumb over his cheek.

"Yeah." I nodded. "But can we please wait? I want the bruise to be gone before we leave. I don't want to attract too much attention from your family."

He hummed in response and I went to lie down as well. Fred moved off of me so I could lie down but instead he moved on top of me, looking down at my face with a smile.

I didn't say anything. I wrapped my hand around his neck and pulled him down to my shoulder so that my lips were touching his ear. He planted a kiss on my shoulder and I smiled as I caressed his neck.

"Thank you." I whispered into his ear. "I love you."


	57. Chapter 57

Charlie was coming towards me. He was smiling and he was coming towards me to greet me. Was I scared? Yes. Why? Because he's a fucking giant dragon-lover who's scary as hell. Fred seemed to notice my tension which only made him laugh as he rubbed my shoulders to try and get me to relax a bit.

"Julie." Charlie smiled warmly. "How're you? It's nice seeing you again. Fred's been talking about you non-stop like usual so hopefully now we can all catch a break."

"Oh." I raised my eyebrows and glanced at Fred who shrugged, seeming annoyed with getting exposed by hiss older brother. I chuckled softly, then looked at Charlie. "It's nice seeing you again too."

_Don't show him you're scared.  
Dragons can sense that kind of thing._

Then again, Charlie's not a dragon.

He's simply working with them.

"Julie!"

Oh no.

George came running down the stairs and before I could hide behind Fred, he had picked me up, making me shriek while he spun around with me over his shoulder.

"Put me down!" I ordered him, hitting him in the back with my fists. Surprisingly, he actually put me down and I immediately fixed my hair, brushing it out of my face. "George, what did I say about picking me up? I thought you were finally done after doing it nonstop last year."

"It's fun." he grinned. "You weight the same as a feather."

"I highly doubt that." I snorted before I looked at Fred who now stood alone. Charlie was on his way outside.

"Where'd you get that?" Fred asked, pointing towards my hand. I looked down at my wrist to see the bracelet that Seth gave me. I shrugged as I fidgeted with one of the pendants.

"Oh that's cool." George spoke, grabbing my wrist so he could look at the bracelet. "These are all– they're all... _you."_

"It's special made." I chuckled. "From Seth as a Christmas present."

"Oh so now you and Seth are giving presents?" Fred scoffed, causing both George and I to look at him.

"What're you on about?" I frowned. "Seth and I have always exchanged presents on Christmas and birthdays. Just like we do."

Fred folded his arms over his chest and looked towards one of the windows while shrugging.

"You have absolutely no reason to be acting like a jealous prick." I told my boyfriend. "In the end, it'll only ruin our relationship. Neither of us want that."

"Ignore him." George sighed. "Let's go upstairs. If Fred can lay aside his jealous mood, we actually have something to show you."

He grabbed my hand and led me upstairs while Fred slowly followed behind. Fred just couldn't last two hours without being jealous. We just got here and once again, he gets in that mood over Seth. It's childish.

"While Freddie was talking to Seth outside, I took a look in the book and I found something about your family." George explained when we entered their room.

"What?" I questioned. "You actually found something?"

George smiled excitedly at me and let go of my hand to grab the book from the desk. Fred sat down on the edge of the bottom bunk, and I joined him, sitting next to him.

"We found out that your mum lives in London." George said. "Well, _I_ found out, seeing as Fred went to go and get you."

Fred rolled his eyes and I decided to ignore how he was being so instead I put my focus on George so he could explain to me what he found out.

"We asked dad to borrow a book from the ministry." he continued. "This shows all wizarding families and their tracking history. Your mother took your brothers and moved to America until they came back just before your oldest brother turned eleven. When they returned to England, your mum was remarried to a man named Tanner Evergreen, a pure-blood wizard from New York."

"I've got a stepdad?"

"And a little sister too." George nodded. "Eleanor Evergreen."

_What in the Merlin's beard is going on._

"Your mother changed her last name to Evergreen and when Tanner legally adopted your brothers, their surname changed too."

_Oh great._

My family fled my father, my mother remarried and my brothers were adopted by him while my mum and my stepdad happened to get their own daughter.

My mother got herself a daughter again. There's no way she would actually want to meet me now that she had her family whole again. She has two sons and a daughter. Now I know the truth but there's no need for me to try and see them.

"The ministry helped your family go into hiding." George told me. "Your mother didn't want to press charges against your father because you needed to grow up with at least one parent."

"But–" I took a deep breath. "If she had pressed charges, she could've taken me with her."

Fred took my hand in his and laced our fingers together.

"Don't overthink it." he told me. "You're gonna end up beating yourself up about it. Your mum may have had a good reason for letting you stay with your father all these years."

I took the book out of George's hands to look at it myself. I ran a finger over the names of my mum and my brothers.

_Annie Evergreen, former Pegas - born Rivers._

"Did your father know about her?" I asked. "He works for the ministry."

"Yeah but he's not in that department." Fred told me. "Mum and dad knew your parents in school and they've always known who your father is but no one knew your mum was Annie. She and your dad left the wizarding world behind to live a life without magic in Scotland, no one knew what happened to them after Hogwarts, only that they had two sons. Since she left shortly after your birth, no one knew you were her daughter."

When he finished explaining it to me, I slammed the book shut and handed it to George. Both boys were watching me carefully. They were trying to read my expression.

"Are you gonna go looking for her?" George asked. "Your mum?"

"No." I hurried to say. "She lost her daughter and decided to make a new one. I think she's got everything that she wants now so me showing up and telling her I'm her long lost daughter – that's just ridiculous."

"You know what I think?" George asked, nudging me with his shoulder. "That if your mum doesn't want to know you, she simply does not deserve to get the chance to."

I pouted and leaned my head against George's shoulder while wrapping my arms around him to hug him.

"I just have to stay hidden from my dad for another six months, then I turn eighteen and I can continue my life without parents." I said, looking towards Fred while I still hugged his brother. "Sounds like a plan, eh?"


	58. Chapter 58

We were back at school.

I was actually happy about that. That meant I could focus on my studies and on quidditch. It could distract me from knowing that my mother had the chance to take me with her. If she turned my father in for harming her, he would've gone to Azkaban for a while and she could've taken me with her and my brothers to start over as a family. I could've grown up with my mother and not lived with a man who ended up revealing who he truly is.

Fred and I haven't talked for a couple of days. Actually we haven't talked since we got back to Hogwarts. I don't know why. Things are just getting quite tense between us. It's like the last time we were together. We do great and then suddenly it gets weird and we start arguing more.

George though, George has been a sweetheart. Ever since that day on Christmas Day where I found out about my family, he's been checking up on me constantly, making sure I'm doing okay. My friends have been great too. They've been trying to distract me by acting their usual selfs and it's helping.

It's making me realise that I don't need my family. I already have a family and I know they love me just like I love them.

"I want a girlfriend for my birthday." Melba explained. We were sitting at breakfast one morning and she was talking non-stop about her birthday which wasn't until next month on the seventeenth. She's the first of us to turn eighteen which has her thinking that she's superior to us. "So if I don't see a fancy lady wrapped up at the end of my bed on my birthday, I'm suing."

"Where would we get a fancy lady?" Nate laughed. "And the last time I tried wrapping a girl up, I received a punch to my nose."

My brows fell into a frown and our group got quiet while we all turned our heads to look at Nate. He just simply carried on eating as if he didn't just admit to wrapping a girl up.

"Excuse me?" Callie questioned with a cocked eyebrow. "Who did you wrap?"

Nate slowly lifted his head to look at her and then shrugged before continuing to eat his food. Callie looked towards me and Melba and we simply shrugged as well, not knowing what the hell he was talking about.

"Oh, was it that Ravenclaw girl in year two?" Seth asked. "You tried wrapping her with Christmas paper and she started screaming and punched you?"

"Yeah." Nate nodded. "Which was completely unfair. I was twelve and she was like– sixteen."

Callie started arguing with Nate about wrapping girls in Christmas paper, while Seth got scolded by Melba for trying to take the last pancake of the plate. Nick on the other hand was annoyed that there was no pizza for breakfast because some morning there was.

My eyes scanned the Great Hall, eventually landing on Fred. He was laughing about something Angelina said and they looked awfully close as she nudged him with her shoulder.

I know I'm mad at Fred for being jealous over Seth but I never cheated with him and Fred did cheat on me with Angelina so I couldn't control how I felt every time they got so close to each other.

Fred gave me a necklace for Christmas. It's a heart pendant with the words _'Always in my heart'_ carved in it. I then gave him a ring that was pretty noticeable. Mostly it was a secret message to Angelina. A reminder. Every time she sees the ring with my initials in it, she'll think of me and know that I get to have sex with Fred while she doesn't.

Call me petty, I don't care. I'm almost completely done with the girl. Thinking she's better than me, thinking she has the right to make a move on him. Yes, Fred initiated the kiss back when he cheated, but she should've stopped him and from what I saw, she was most certainly enjoying it.

I liked the necklace that Fred had given me and he absolutely loved the ring I had given him. He told me he now had me with him everywhere when we were too busy to spend time together. I guess now is one of those times. Haven't talked in about a week while he's just sitting there, eating breakfast while seeming way too happy with Angelina fucking Johnson.

In about a weeks time, Slytherin and Ravenclaw have a match against each other and my friends and I'll be watching it. It's an order from Cedric. He wants us to check out the competition because in April, we'll be playing against Slytherin. I'm sure we can win. Slytherin may be cunning and do everything to win, but Hufflepuff are hard-working, determined and we tend to surprise the other houses by how much we love to kick ass.

Later that day when my friends and I had a free lesson, we spend it in the courtyard in our usual hiding spot. Seth and I were having a smoke each. Melba was complaining about how disgusting it was and Callie and Nate were once again making out. Nick was begging Seth to be allowed to take a puff but he refused.

"You're too innocent." Seth teased, his face then falling more serious. "I'm trying to quit anyways. It's a bad habit and if you get started, you'd regret it."

"Too innocent?" Nick scoffed. "You're the youngest of us all, you fucking git!"

My eyes widened at Nick's words. Hearing him curse was unusual. It wasn't something that Nick Crane made a habit of. He only did it when something was really bothering him, so right away we knew that something was up, _other_ than not being allowed to smoke.

"Mate, you good?" Seth asked. "Need to talk about anything?"

"Oh piss off, Doe." Nick said and pushed himself up to stand. "If you don't mind, I'll be taking myself to the basement. I'm quite tired if I have to be honest."

Nick made his way back inside of the castle while I scooted over to sit next to Melba who sat right next to Seth.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me." she groaned, hurrying to move out from between us. "Don't want to fucking trapped between two smokers."

I flipped her off, then leaned into Seth who exhaled the smoke into the air.

"Do you reckon we should talk to Nick?" I asked. "Maybe he's sad about Ced."

"Ced?" Seth asked and turned his head to look at me. "What happened with Ced?"

I frowned.

"Nothing happened to Ced but y'know, Ced's with Cho and–"

"I'm aware." Seth laughed. "I'm fucking her. I think I'm aware that she's with Ced."

I rolled my eyes and shoved Seth in the shoulder before extinguishing my cigarette in the grass, then throwing it back into my pack.

Seth was being a dickhead. I wasn't supporting his decision to mess around with Cho. She was openly dating Cedric so in reality, Seth was doing an Angelina. He was wrecking a relationship. All this time he's been on about Fred cheating on me when he's helping Cho cheat on Cedric.

"I'll go talk to him." I breathed as I pulled myself up from the ground. I put my pack of cigarettes in the pocket of my robes and looked up as I was about to leave, only to see Angelina approach the corner of the court yard where we were at.

"Oh for fuck sake." I muttered. "What does she want."

I pushed my hands into the pockets of my trousers, standing still while waiting for Angelina to approach so she could say whatever she had on her mind. She was smirking so this was definitely gonna be good.

"Pegas." she smiled sweetly, leaning on the wall right next to where Seth said. I couldn't help but chuckle when I noticed he scrunched up his nose in disgust, then scooted away from her.

"Johnson." I replied. "How nice it is to see you. Wrecked any relationships lately?"

"Funny of you to ask." she said before looking down at Seth. "Cedric is looking for you, Doe. He's not happy."

Seth looked up at Angelina, his eyes wide. Then he looked at me and cursed under his breath. In the split of a second, he had packed his stuff together, sprinting inside, probably to hide from Cedric.

"I heard about you and Fred." Angelina said, causing me to look at her again. Melba had moved over to Nate and Callie who had broken apart to watch the interaction.

"You heard about me and Fred?" I laughed. "What did you hear exactly?"

"Oh, only that he finally decided to leave you." she said, smirking like she knew something I didn't. My grimace immediately dropped and I pulled my hands out of my pockets to fold my arms over my chest.

"I don't know who told you that but Fred and I are very much still together." I told her. "Now piss off and leave me alone."

She pushed herself away from the wall to approach me, eyeing me up and down before smirking again.

"I am very sorry then." she breathed. "Looks like you should've kept your boyfriend on a tighter leash then."

_What?_

I gulped, hating that I had a feeling of where this was going. I stared at her, not answering. Maybe it was just my trust issues that spoke. Maybe she wasn't about to say what I was thinking.

"Seems that he can't keep his lips to himself." she continued. "Or this time– his cock."

I inhaled sharply and looked away before closing my eyes. Million of thoughts flew through my mind, plus images of the two of them together.

It couldn't be true.

He wouldn't have done it. Not again. He wouldn't have cheated again. He promised me he wouldn't. He promised me he loved me.

"Boys are like dogs." Angelina continued. I wanted to punch her. I wanted to punch her so badly. "You need to take care of their needs and you certainly didn't. He told me you haven't had sex with him for _weeks._ Poor boy was so–"

I didn't let her finish before I shoved her aside, making my way back inside of the castle.

Fred was a dead man.


	59. Chapter 59

My mind was racing, my head was burning with heat from the rage I felt stream through my entire body. I don't think I've ever been this angry. Not even the first time I saw them together. My feet were carrying me faster than I thought possible. Students were looking at me like I was crazy when I in fact was just angry and really heartbroken once again over the same fucking guy.

I didn't know where Fred was at during this lesson but I didn't give a flying fuck. I would search the entire castle if that was the case. I just had to find him and get some fucking answers.

"No running in the hallways, Miss Pegas!" I heard McGonagall's voice call out and I automatically slowed down until I reached the corner and then sped up again.

When I managed to find him, he was with George in an empty corridor. It looked like they were setting up a prank.

"Oh hey Jules." George greeted without looking at me. Fred glanced towards me but then turned his attention back on what they were doing.

"Babe can you give me a second?" Fred asked. "I just need to finish this and then I'm all yours."

"All mine, huh?" I scoffed. He and George both froze in their actions before slowly looking at me. George seemed to understand something, glancing at Fred with a roll of his eyes while Fred's brows were knitted together in a frown of pure confusion. "Or am I some shared possession?"

"J, what are you _talking_ about?" Fred asked, straightening up. He dusted gunpowder off his hands, then took a step towards me, but I automatically backed up.

"I just had a very nice chat with Angelina." I informed him. "It seems that I have to keep you satisfied at all times if I want to keep you from cheating on me."

The confusion expression on his face changed into pure shock and fear while George let out a sigh as he leaned back against the wall.

"I can explain that." Fred told me, taking another step towards me.

"So it's true?" I asked. My eyes were staring to burn from the pressure of the tears that tried exposing themselves. I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to seem weak. "Oh my god."

I ran my hands into my hair, tugging at it while I slowly backed up, my eyes focused on Fred.

"I spent most of the holidays with you and your family in your home and the first thing you do when we get back to school is to sleep with _her."_ I raised my voice. "Why do you _do_ that? What's _wrong_ with you?!"

George pushed himself away from the wall, approaching me. He held an arm out in front of me to try and get me to leave the corridor with him as he pulled the door open.

"Let's go, Jules." He said in a low voice, but my eyes stayed on Fred. "He's not worth it."

"You promised me!" I screamed at Fred, ignoring George and his attempt to stop the situation from turning worse.

"I can explain!" Fred raised his voice at me. "What happened was a mistake but you know I love you, Julie! I do so many things for you, I—"

"Don't you dare!" I yelled. "Don't try and guilt-trip me into forgiving you. Tell me what things you've done other than fuck me over!"

He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his red hair before dropping it by his side.

"I came to get you out of that house."

"Because Seth asked you to!"

"How about the paste, eh? I helped you with the bruise he left on your cheeks."

I let out a laugh, shaking my head.

"We both know that the paste was George's idea!" I told him. "And I am so sorry. You made my bruising go away. Go ahead and sleep with someone else!"

"Julie." George whispered. "He's not worth fighting with."

"I found your family!" Fred continued. I got out from under George's arm and approached Fred, pushing him back against the wall.

"You didn't fucking find them!" I yelled. "Again, that was George! You haven't done _shit_ other than cheat on me you fucking idiot!"

I pushed him in he chest again, then backed up a few steps, the tears pouring from my eyes.

"I should've known." I cried. "I shouldn't have trusted you again. I shouldn't have let you back in because all you do is fucking break me."

"Jules." He sighed, tearing up himself. He tried to reach for me but I pushed his hand away and took another step back. "I'm sorry— listen, I love you. We can get through this. I promise I—"

"Shut up!" I yelled. "You need to shut up and stop with the fucking lies."

I closed my eyes and wiped my cheeks. I took a deep breath, then looked at him again.

"Was she good?"

"Julie." He sighed, shaking his head. "Don't ask that."

"Was she good?" I repeated. "Better than me? She must be better than me at everything revolving a relationship because somehow you always end back with her."

I sounded pathetic. I was crying and trying to talk through the tears and the sobs but the truth was that I was just really broken. It hurt way more this time than last. He kept choosing her.

I looked down at the promise ring on my finger and starting pulling it off, while sobbing.

"What're you doing?" Fred asked. "No— don't take it off. Please, babe. I'm sorry."

"Don't call me that." I cried, shaking my head. With the ring in my hand, I ripped off the necklace and threw both things at him. "I'm not your _babe._ I'm not your _love,_ and I'm not someone for you to call darling anymore. We're done and this time it's for good. I'm done."

I turned around to leave the corridor but Fred grabbed my wrist to keep me from leaving.

"Let go of me!" I yelled, ripping my arm away from him. "What more could you _possibly_ have to say?"

"You don't get to leave me. Not again."

"I don't _get_ to leave you?!" I asked. "You've cheated on me. Twice. I was stupid enough to forgive you the first time."

Fred scanned my face, then shook his head, laughing.

"What's so funny?" I asked. "Why the fuck are you laughing right now?"

"Because this is fucking ridiculous!" He yelled. "You are mad at me for sleeping with Angie while you've probably been doing the same with Seth since the start of our relationship."

No.

Don't push it, pretty boy.

" _I_ have been _nothing_ but faithful to you!" I told him. "Not even when we were broken up, did I sleep with him because I don't fucking see him that way. You have no right trying to turn this around and put the blame on me. _You_ decided to cheat, that's got nothing to do with me or Seth. Take some fucking responsibility for once!"

I turned around, storming out of the corridor. I heard George say something to Fred before he followed me.

"Julie, Jules, slow down." He called out as I hurried my way down the many stairs. He placed a hand on my shoulder and I immediately turned around, wrapping my arms around his back. He hugged me back, letting me cry against his chest. "If it helps anything, he doesn't deserve you."


	60. Chapter 60

"Hi guys!" I said enthusiastically, smiling at my friends who were still sitting in a corner of the courtyard. Well, it was only really Melba, Nate and Callie. "How're you doing? Did anything exciting happen?"

"What did Fred do?" Melba asked. "I swear if he cheated on you again—"

I shrugged and got down on the ground, leaning against the wall. I crossed my legs, folded my arms over my chest and looked at my friends.

A sigh escaped my lips and I then closed my eyes to keep myself from crying again. George spend so much time cheering me up, trying to get my thoughts away from Fred.

George was a good friend. I appreciated him but I hated that he shared a face with Fred. It made it harder to look at him without crying.

"He simply fucked Angelina." I said through a heavy breath. I opened my eyes and looked at my friends, forcing a smile while I shrugged again. "This time he admitted it himself. He didn't just kiss her. He straight up had sex with her."

I closed my eyes again only for a second but when I opened them again, Melba and Callie were both hurrying inside. They weren't wearing their robes. They had thrown them on Nate and were currently pushing up their sleeves while marching inside of the castle.

"Why do I always end up with their robes when they decide to go commit manslaughter?" Nate asked, frowning as he started folding the robes, placing them on the grass next to him. "Are you okay?"

"Couldn't be better." I shrugged and moved over to sit next to him. "Promise me something?"

"What?"

"Never cheat on Callie." I told him.

"I would never." He told me. "We argue a lot but she's my queen."

I hummed, leaning my head on his shoulder. He grabbed my hand and held it in his, lacing our fingers while using his other hand to comfortable brush _mine._

"I'm sorry he did that to you." He said, squeezing my hand. "I'm stronger than the two girls combined. Need me to _really_ kick Fred's ass?"

I shook my head.

"No need. I'm pretty sure Melba and Callie are on it." I said. "I hope they kill him."

I laughed and Nate let go of my hand to wrap his arm around me. My laugh then turned into sobs as I broke into tears once again.

"Oh, J." He sighed, wrapping his other arm around me as well. "I don't care what you say. If I see him sometime soon, I'm gonna punch him. I don't care how fucked up he is from Melba and Callie confronting him. And just you _wait_ until Seth finds out. He'll go crazy."

He was right, and after the first time Fred cheated, I would probably have tried to stop my friends from hurting him but now I didn't really care. I fucking _hoped_ he died. I hated him and this time it was over. I was never forgiving him after this.

"It hurts." I whispered against Nate's chest. "It hurts so fucking much."

"I know." he whispered, rubbing my arm while holding me tightly. "But you've gone through this once before. You know it gets better. _Easier._ Only five more months of school and then you never have to see his face again."

"Fucking can't wait for that day." I sobbed. I lifted my head to look at him. "Do you know where Nick is? Did he come back after he stormed off?"

"No— I think he's sad about Cedric." He said with a sigh. "He heard he and Cho talk earlier about living together when she graduates. Though I think that's over now. Johnson totally outed Seth and Cho to Cedric and Seth is currently fleeing, trying to survive the day."

I sighed and ran a hand over my face before sitting up straight.

"Do you mind if I go see Nick?" I asked. "I don't want to leave you all alone but I want to assure him that none of us would hate him for being gay, or bisexual— whatever he identifies as."

"Of course I don't mind." Nate smiled. "But you're alright? I don't want to get the news later that you threw yourself off the astronomy tower."

"I'm not going to kill myself." I muttered and rolled my eyes. I patted his head, then made my way inside, muttering under my breath. "Not yet, anyways."

My heart was aching and it was shattered into a million pieces but right now I wanted to be there for Nick because I knew he was going through his own heartbreak with loving Cedric, even if he won't admit to it.

I see Nick as a younger brother that I need to protect. He'll always come before me. I've always done that. Pushed my own problems away if he needed me.

"Hey sweetie." I smiled softly when I entered the Hufflepuff basement where Nick sat on one of the sofas, staring into the fire. "What're you doing?"

I walked over to the back of the sofa and leaned on it. I ran my hand through Nick's hair, messing it up and in annoyance, he groaned and moved away from me.

"What's wrong?" I asked, walking around the sofa to sit next to him. "Talk to me."

He looked at me and frowned when he saw my face. "Why've you been crying?"

"Don't worry about that." I said. "You're upset about something and I don't want you to walk around with it on your own. I know how that feels and it's not healthy."

He sighed and leaned back against the sofa with a slight pout on his face.

"Alright—" he breathed. "Well, Julie. I think— I'm— I like—"

"Boys?" I asked, causing his head to snap in my direction. "Yeah, I know."

"Oh great. You know."

"Yeah." I shrugged. "What, did you think we wouldn't be accepting of you. I mean, Melba's gay too and have we ever said or done anything apart from supporting her?"

Nick leaned his head back on the sofa, looking at me.

"No but it's different. There're so many people who think it's _hot_ when it's girl on girl but when it's boy on boy, it's just disgusting— _apparently."_

"Aw, Nick." I pouted, hugging him. "We don't care about your sexuality. We love you for who you are."

He hugged me back, resting his chin on my shoulder while I swayed us from side to side.

"You like Ced, don't you?" I whispered. Nick groaned, pulled out of the hug and threw himself back against the sofa.

"Yes I do." He shook his head. "But he's with fucking Cho."

"Actually—" I breathed. "Cedric found out about her cheating. I _think_ he's currently chasing Seth around the castle, trying to kill him."

Nick let out a soft laugh.

"I don't think Cedric's into guys anyway." He shrugged. "Now tell me, why have you been crying?"

I pushed myself out of the sofa and slowly made my way over to the plant that stood on the fireplace. I took one of the leaves in my hand, then turned around and folded my arms over my chest.

"Fred and I— we broke up."

Nick's eyebrows fell into a frown and he stood up himself.

"Did he cheat again?"

I nodded.

"Was only really a matter of time, wasn't it?"


	61. Chapter 61

"Julie!"

_Fuck off._

"Please slow down so we can talk."

_Fuck. Off._

"Jules!" His voice called out and I felt his hand wrap around my wrist. I froze, though I didn't turn around. I was trying to control my breathing. I could feel the anger boil inside of me again and I didn't want to cause a scene in the middle of the hallway. "Please hear me out. I can explain."

I took a deep breath.

"I'm sure you can." I said, ripping my hand from his grip. I continued to walk and Fred continued to follow me. "I don't want to hear it. Piss off. Go fuck Johnson. Oh wait, you already did."

I turned a corner and as I did, I felt Fred wrap an arm around my waist. I didn't get to react before he had pulled me into one of the classrooms that were pretty much empty right now.

"What the fuck do you want?!" I yelled. I threw my bag on one of the tables before I turned to look at him. My expression faltered and I took a step back.

It looked like his bottom lip had been split from a fracture while his cheekbone was bruised and there was some stained blood underneath his nose.

"Did Seth do that?"

"Oh, no." He laughed sarcastically. "Callie and Melba did. Yeah, I couldn't exactly hit them back. Melba is awfully strong. She held me back while Callie threw the punches. I can't _wait_ to see what Seth has in store."

I snorted in response and rolled my eyes.

"I'm not sure Seth even knows yet." I said. "Otherwise you would already be dead."

Fred took a step towards me, trying to reach out for my hand but I quickly backed away from him as I held up a hand to warn him.

"I made a _mistake,_ Jules." He told me. "It was stupid. Didn't mean shit and I wish I could take it back."

"But you can't!" I raised my voice. "And cheating is a _choice,_ not a mistake!"

I grabbed my back and went to pull open the door, though Fred was by my side in the matter of a second and slammed the door closed again.

"Let me fucking leave." I said, staring up at him, my eyes full of anger. "I am _this_ close to hitting you."

I held up my thumb and my index, showing them just how close I really was to go crazy on him.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered, placing his hand on my shoulder. I closed my eyes when he brushed his fingers over my neck and threaded them into the back of my hair. " _Please,_ darling."

It felt so nice, having him this close. Having his fingers in my hair.

_What am I saying?_

"No!" I exclaimed, pushing him away while I backed away at the same time. "No!"

I pointed a finger at him, shaking my head while the tears dared to spill again.

"You don't get to do this!" I cried. "You don't get to hurt me like this. Why do you _hurt_ me like this?"

He teared up himself, frustratingly running his hands into his hair.

"I'm sorry, Julie." He sobbed gently. "I don't know what else to say. I don't want to lose you."

"Apologies mean nothing if you keep doing what you're sorry for!" I yelled at him. "You already lost me, Fred. This time it's for good so stop apologising because we both know you don't mean it and it won't get you anywhere. _Not_ this time."

I threw my bag over my shoulder and made my way towards him. I tried pushing him away to get out of the door but he was stronger than me, blocking my way while pushing me away from it.

"Leave me alone, Fred." I cried. "Please just get out of my way. I can't deal with this."

"No!" He yelled. "You need to listen to me. I told you I can explain it!"

"Then fucking do so!" I nearly screamed. "You keep saying you can explain it but the only explanation I hear from you is that it was a mistake!"

I was now panting from the anger I was feeling. We were staring at each other and I don't know who looked the most broken.

Me... or him.

"I don't know how it happened." He sighed. "I can't even remember the details. I just remember suddenly getting this urge, almost like an obsession towards her and we had sex and then later I snapped out of it. It's all very foggy but I swear I didn't mean to and I certainly didn't want to."

"You expect me to believe that?" I frowned. "You already cheated on me once. I should've known it would happen again, and then you come up with this dumb excuse?"

"I'm not fucking lying!"

I was so exhausted. I wish he would just do what I told him to, and leave me alone.

"I hate you." I said. My voice was chilling and calm but it was still echoing through the room.

Fred frowned. He looked hurt but then he knew how I felt. I was more than hurt. He broke my heart all over again.

"You don't— you don't mean that."

"I do." I nodded. "I hate you and I wish I never met you. I wish I never let you in."

"Don't say that." He inhaled sharply. "Stop saying that."

I took a step towards him.

"Hurts, doesn't it?" I asked. "Being screwed over by someone you trusted? I _hate_ you, Fred. That's on _you._ You _made_ me hate you."

He leaned back against the wall and let out a heavy breath. He leaned back his head and stared at the ceiling.

I didn't care that saying it, hurt him. He hurt me first and so was done with him and his little games. I was done trusting him and anything that came out of his mouth.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, closing his eyes. "I'm so sorry."


	62. Chapter 62

"I should've done more to him." Callie said. "I should've punched out his teeth. Should've—"

"You did enough, Cal." Melba said, hugging Callie from the side as the two of them looked at me. "But _I_ should've ripped his balls off."

I chuckled and leaned back on the sofa.

"You did a good job." I smiled. "He looked like shit."

The two sat down when fast steps suddenly came from the entrance to the Hufflepuff basement.

"Alright _who_ told Cedric about me and Cho?!" Seth's voice echoed through the room and three of us turned to look at him.

"Holy shit. Seth!" I cursed, standing up. His face was worse than Fred's. His nose was actively bleeding and so was his eyebrow and he was completely red around one eye. "I swear— I can't handle more bruised faces. If Nate comes through that door with a black eye, I am _leaving_ and you won't be able to find me for the next two weeks."

Seth frowned at me as he pressed a hand to his nose, then looked at me.

"Who else got beat up?" He asked, then his eyes widened. "Not Nick, right? If someone hurt a fucking _straw_ on Nick's head, I will turn into the fucking Hulk!"

"No one hurt Nick." I sighed and dropped back onto the sofa.

"Fred cheated again." Callie spoke. Immediately it was like I could _hear_ the silence from Seth along with his eyes on my back. "He fucked Johnson. She's also the one who told Cedric that you fucked Cho."

Seth suddenly started laughing. I looked up at Callie and Melba who were just as confused as I were, and then I turned to look at him.

He was bend over, hands on knees as he laughed hysterically. After what felt like minutes, he straightened up and wiped the blood from under his nose.

"Those fucking Gryffindors." He laughed softly. "If she was a guy— she's not. Fred though—"

Seth looked at me and his smile dropped. He looked like a psychopath. He _actually_ looked like a psychopath.

"... he's dead."

I didn't try to stop him when he rushed back out of the Hufflepuff basement. Neither of us did. I didn't care what he did to Fred. I simply didn't care anymore. He didn't get sex from me for a few weeks and then he just goes and fucks Angelina Johnson.

"I don't think Fred will be there for dinner tonight." Melba said, trying to hide a satisfied smile. She hid her lips with her fingers and wiggled her eyebrows at Callie before she made her way down to the girls dormitories.

"Oh girlie." Callie sighed before pulling herself out of the other sofa to plump back down next to me. "How're you feeling?"

"I should be asking _you_ that." I muttered and grabbed her right hand to look at the bruised knuckles. "I can— maybe George will let you use some of the bruising paste."

Callie shrugged and wrapped her arm around me to comfort me in a sideways hug.

"There's no need for that." She told me. "It's like a warning. Now everyone knows not to mess with me."

Then she patted my shoulder and got up, brushing her hands together.

"Where're you going?" I asked, wetting my lips.

"I'll pay Johnson a little visit." She smiled and reached over to grab her wand from the coffee table.

"Oh, Callie no!" I said, pointing a warning finger at her. "Don't. You've already punched Fred."

"And now I'm gonna go and give Johnson a piece of my mind." She said, raising her eyebrows at me. "I am tired of her bullshit, Jules. First she kisses Fred back well knowing he's with you. Then she dates him and makes it pretty obvious towards you. Then she tells Cedric about Cho and Seth which I'm actually not that upset over because Cho cheated and we hate cheaters, but then Johnson fucks Fred and tells you about it just to spite you, knowing that you are still very much together. I'm tired and I am done watching her fuck you over. She's a bully and it's not the first time I beat up a bully."

_Merlin._

Callie pushed the wand into her pocket as she made her way out of the common room. Meanwhile I leaned back on the sofa and ran my hands over my face.

I was so done with people getting beat up. Fred deserved it, so did Seth if I have to be completely honest, but it was all too much and all happening within a day.

It had been one _long_ day. I found out my boyfriend cheated on me again. My friends beat him up. Then one of my friend _got_ beat up.

These last weeks had been crazy. I went through shit with my father, him hitting me and me finding out he was abusive towards my mother. I found out that my mother had the chance to come back and get me but she didn't grab the chance, meaning she probably didn't give a fuck.

And then the _one_ person I was in love with, decided to cheat on me for the second time, completely fucking up the self-esteem I was starting to get back.

All day I had been doubting myself like the last time. _Again_ he chose her over me. What was wrong with me? Why wasn't I good enough for him? Why did he feel the need to lie to me about it. He didn't tell him. Again, I had to find out in another way. The last time, I saw him but this time _she_ told me.

I hated myself more than I hated Fred and Angelina combined. I was the one who was too naive to believe in him again. I was too naive and it only ended up biting me in the ass.


	63. Chapter 63

"Look, Slytherin likes to cheat to win the match." Cedric said. "That's why they won last year. This time I want it to be different. You saw them against Ravenclaw yesterday. You saw their tactics. If they cheat, so will we."

"We can't cheat." Seth scoffed. "We'll just get disqualified."

"Did I ask you to speak, Doe?" Cedric said through gritted teeth, raising his eyebrows at Seth.

"Oh c'mon. Are you still mad at me?"

"Mad at you?" Cedric questioned, taking one large step towards Seth, hovering over him. "The only reason you're still on the team is because we can't win without you. Trust me— if you didn't benefit the team, I would've kicked you off."

Cedric stepped back and Seth turned his head to look at Nate. "I think he's still mad at me."

"Pegas, get off the ground."

I looked up at the sound of Cedric, and I shook my head, wrapping my arms around my knees.

"She doesn't want to be called Pegas anymore." Nick commented.

"She doesn't want to—" Cedric laughed sarcastically as he shook his head. "What the fuck do you want to be called, Julie?"

"My surname is now Crane." I said, pointing to Nick. "He's my new brother, did you know?"

Cedric narrowed his eyes at me.

"Are you drunk right now?" He asked. " _Get_ up."

I simply shrugged before I grabbed onto Melba's quidditch uniform, pulling myself up to stand. I rested my arm on her shoulder to keep myself steady.

"She's not doing too well." Nate commented. "She was cheated on. Can you give her the day off? You know how it is."

"Yes, I _do_ know how it is." Cedric said. His tone was full of anger and annoyance. "But I'm here, trying to coach you six dimwits and I'm certainly not drunk because _I_ don't feel like drowning my feelings in alcohol."

"Alright, you don't have to be mean." Callie defended. I sighed and slid down Melba's body until I sat on the ground again, but then I fell onto my back and closed my eyes.

"I'm done." It came from Cedric and I opened my eyes to see him throw his broomstick on the ground. "I am done trying to coach you _people._ You never fucking cooperate with me and you always run around like fucking children. I quit. Good luck finding someone who'll want to coach you while being the seeker."

He walked past us and while I closed my eyes, my friends all turned around to walk Cedric walk away.

"Why are the Gryffindors coming towards the pitch?" Nate asked and at the mention of my ex-boyfriend's team, I got up way too quick, causing me to fall straight back to the ground with a loud grunt.

"Ow!" I whined. "That hurt."

"Merlin." Melba sighed while Seth grabbed under my arms to try and pull me back up but my legs were way too weak from the alcohol in my blood so I kept stumbling against him and eventually I fell again, landing on my stomach.

_This is embarrassing._

"Look at dumbo over there." A family voice hit my ear and I immediately raised my hand before slowly pulling myself up from the ground.

"Shut your mouth, Johnson." I heard Ron say. I looked at Angelina. No, I didn't look. I stared. I stared at her through my very angry eyes.

It was probably the alcohol in my system that made the anger so much more intense. Angelina was talking to Alicia about something, glancing over at me with a grin that showed it was me they were talking about.

Ron and Harry were discussing something while getting ready for practice. Katie Bell was helping Fred and George get thr equipment ready while Fred ad George but glanced up towards Angelina, then towards me to see what was going on.

"What's the problem, Pegas?!" Angelina called from across the pitch.

"Jules—" Seth grabbed around my arm to try and pull me back so I wouldn't start anything.

It was a wonder that Angelina still had the balls to try anything. Callie almost hexed her. She had a wand at her throat, threatening her. That's what Callie told me.

Fred had been in the hospital wing. He had to stay there for a couple days after Seth found him. He ended up with a broken nose and a concussion but he was better now.

_Unfortunately._

"If you keep looking at me like that, I'll start to think that you wanna fuck me." Angelina continued. "I mean, I know I'm hot but—"

"If the personality is attractive, so is the rest of the person." I interrupted her as I started taking slow steps across the pitch towards where she stood. "And your personality smells like rotten _fucking_ eggs, you _fucking_ cunt."

"Oh—" she laughed, raising her eyebrows. "We talking big-girl words now, are we?"

I didn't answer. I had let my friends do the dirty work for me but now I was gonna take the matter into my own hands.

"Cat's got your tongue?"

_Your face got my fist?_

The smug expression on her face dropped when she realized I wasn't gonna slow down. I reached her and the first thing I did was swing at her, my fist colliding so hard with her jaw that I swear I could hear her teeth crack. She made an almost inhuman sound as she fell back onto the ground, grasping onto her jaw.

I was breathing heavily, watching her on the ground. _Pathetic._

"Jesus, Julie." I heard Harry gasp. I glanced at him, then noticed that everyone were staring at me and what just happened. Alicia went to help Angelina up and I closed my eyes for a moment before turning around to walk away.

Though after a few steps, I was suddenly tackled to the ground, violently turned onto my back. Angelina was on top of me, screaming as she gripped my hair, pulling my head off the ground only to smash it back down.

I pushed my hand against her jaw, trying to push her off of me while I used my other hand to hit her again and again.

The shouting of different people surrounded us but I couldn't recognize the voices. I shut it out, my focus being on Angelina. I managed to get her off of me and then it was my turn to sit on her, punching her in the face.

"You fucking psycho bitch!" She screamed, pulling at my hair again while she ran her fingers down my cheek so roughly that I screamed in pain when I felt them rip through my skin.

"Boyfriend fucker!" I screamed back. She managed to get me thrown off of her and she then tried to get off but I pulled myself against the ground like a fucking worm, grabbing her ankle. She fell down again, face first against the ground and then kicked against me, hitting me in the face.

I felt warm liquid run from my nose but I didn't give one flying fuck that my nose was bleeding.

"I'm going to kill you." I screamed. I grabbed onto her leg to try and get up so I could punch her in the face, but she kept kicking at me and once again I was kicked in the nose. I got to my feet and grabbed onto her uniform. I swung at her, about to punch her again when someone grabbed my arm, forcefully pulling me back.

" _That's_ enough."

I looked at the person and when he let go of my fist, I let it fall by my side before I took a step back.

It was a young guy, not much older than me. His hair was short and almost as dark as the brown shade I had dyed my hair. It was a tad darker than my original hair and his eyes were either light brown or some shade of green. It was hard to tell. He was also wearing glasses.

My eyes widened when I realized that it was like looking at a male version of me. Sure, his eyes were a different shade and so was the hair but other than that, we had similar features.

_Oh shit._


	64. Chapter 64

"Who the fuck are you?" Nate asked when he and the rest of our friends reached the other end of the pitch where we stood while Angelina laid on the ground, sending daggers at me with her eyes.

" _I'm_ the person who just stopped a fight from getting worse." The guy said with a stern tone in his voice. He looked around at the two quidditch teams, then looked at Angelina and he extended his hand to help her up. "You need to get that jaw checked out in the hospital wing."

He motioned for Angelina to leave and then motioned for Alicia to go with her, then he turned to me.

I was terrified.

I was terrified because I knew who he was. I knew he was one of my brothers. It was obvious. If he wasn't, then it was a pretty big coincidence that he looked like me.

"And you— where do you think behavior like that will get you?"

I couldn't say anything. I couldn't get my mouth open. I couldn't come up with any kind of words. Not even one.

"Wait—" Callie spoke from behind me. "Matteo Evergreen? What're _you_ doing here?"

I looked back at Callie who had a huge grin on his face, mixed with surprise.

_Wait hold up one second._

"I remember you." Callie continued. "You were like the best chaser Hufflepuff has ever had. I was honestly bummed when you decided to not play your last year to focus on the studies."

"Well, sometimes you have to sort out your priorities." _Matteo_ spoke with a soft smile. "Now, does anyone know where Angelina Johnson is?"

"You just sent her to the hospital wing." Katie said, pointing in the direction where Angelina and Alicia had gone.

"Ahhh, alright."

"What do you need with Johnson?" George asked. "That girl is nothing but trouble."

_You're right about that._

"I'm sorry to say that's a private matter." He said, clapping his hands together. "I would advice you to quit quidditch practice just for the day, and you—"

He pointed to me.

"... the hospital wing would be a good idea for you too." He said before turning around to walk towards the castle.

_What the fuck just happened._

"What did you tell Angelina?" I asked, turning towards Fred.

"What makes you think I said anything?" He asked, folding his arms over his chest.

"Well, I don't know, Fred—" I scoffed. "Maybe because somehow Johnson got _my_ brother to show up here. _You_ know the names and where to find my family and oh— you _fucked_ her."

Fred sighed and shook his head before he looked away to avoid my gaze.

"I _might_ have mentioned the situation to her." He spoke softly. George groaned at him and punched his brother in the arm, causing Fred to almost fall over.

"Wait, you cheated on Julie?" Ron asked. "Wait 'till mum hears about that."

"Mum won't hear about that!" Fred raised his voice and looked at his younger brother. "You'll keep your mouth quiet!"

"Don't talk to Ron like that." George said, pushing Fred in the chest. "I will see you in the common room."

"George—"

"The _common room,_ Fred!" George raised his voice and pointed towards the castle. Fred scoffed and backed up before turning around to leave the pitch.

George turned to me and send me a wink along with a grin before he followed his brother back to the castle.

"We should probably go too." Harry told Ron and Katie, though Katie was already on her way back.

He and Ron started walking but Ron stopped when he reached me and turned to me with a nervous look.

"I'm uh— I'm sorry he cheated on you again." He said. "You don't deserve that."

"Thanks." I shrugged. "But it's fine. Guess Fred would rather be with Angelina."

Ron pressed his lips together and nodded at me slowly, then followed after Harry. With a sigh, I turned around and looked at my five friends.

" _That_ Matteo is your brother?" Callie asked, wrapping her arm around Nate's.

"I wasn't sure until he responded to the name." I shrugged. "I was hoping it was a coincidence that he looked like me."

_Why was I so calm?_

"I think your nose is broken." Nick commented. I lifted a hand to my nose and flinched violently at the pain from touching it. "Let's go. Madam Pomfrey can fix it."

"So can Seth!" I hurried to say and looked at him as he was about to turn so we can walk back. Though when he heard my request, he slowly turned towards me, eyes wide and lips slightly parted.

"No." He shook his head. "Absolutely not. I've never healed anyone's noses. Why can't Nick do it? He's the one who's gonna be a healer after Hogwarts."

"Yeah but I can't do it!" Nick defended. "It scares me! I'm only seventeen."

"We're all seventeen." Melba argued and rolled her eyes.

"Can we discuss something else here please?" Nate asked. "Perhaps the fact that Julie's brother that she didn't know existed until about a month ago, just showed up on behalf of Angelina fucking Johnson?!"

The rest of us looked at Nate as he spoke. He made gestures with his hands. Towards me, towards the castle, the direction that Matteo had walked in.

"That's why I'm not going to the hospital wing." I explained. "He was looking for Johnson so he'll be there and I don't need to be around him or anyone related to me whatsoever."

I sighed and turned to Nick with a begging expression on my face.

"Oh c'mon." He groaned. "I can't do that. What if I do more damage than good?"

"You won't!" I assured him. "You've studied this for years. It's basically your specialty."

He sighed and looked around at our friends before he pulled his wand. "It's going to hurt."

"I'm prepared."

He pointed the wand at my nose and I closed my eyes, waiting for the pain of my nose being broken back into place.

_"Episkey."_

I heard the crack, followed by pain. I groaned loudly and bend over, hands on my knees.

"Fuck." I cursed, though the pain was gone as quick as it came. I rubbed my hand over my nose and straightened up, looking at Nick with a small smile. "Thank you."

He simply nodded in response, shaken up over the fact that he actually healed a nose.

"Why are you not freaking out right now?" Nate asked. "Your fucking brother was just here!"

"I'm aware of that. Thanks Nate." I rolled my eyes. "The best thing for me is to ignore that he was here."

"How the fuck does that work?"

"I simply avoid him while he's here." I shrugged. "Has to be gone by the end of the day, right? Enough shit has happened over the past few weeks and I don't need a long lost brother to show up. I don't know what kind of game Johnson is playing, bringing my brother to the school."

I folded my arms over my chest, my eyes flicking to the castle in the background.

"Are you thinking what I think you're thinking?" Melba asked.

"Gangbang Johnson?" Callie asked. My eyes widened and we all looked at her in shock. "What?"

"Gangbang— what the hell are _you_ on about?" Nate asked. "We're not gonna rape her. Are you mental?"

"Woah!" Callie held up her hands in surrender. "Who said anything about rape?"

_I don't think she knows what the word means._

"You said gangbang." Nate continued. "That's when a group of people rape one person."

Callie's eyes immediately widened and she clamped a hand over her mouth, trying to hold back a laugh.

"Oh shit." She cursed before lowering her hand. "I thought it meant beat up someone as a group. Y'know— gang— bang. Oh, no, now I can hear it."

_Merlin's beard._

"Right, we won't do that either." Callie said when she saw our faces. She took a step back before she turned around and started leaving the pitch.

"She's not the smartest tool in the box." Nate sighed as he looked at us. "But she's adorable, isn't she?"

"The cutest." Seth pouted in a high-pitched tone before he giggled in a joking manner, then laughed loudly along with Melba, and the two of them followed Callie.

"You go." I told Nate and Nick. "I just need a moment."

"Just be back by dinner." Nick said and patted my shoulder. "There should be pizza. More than just pepperoni and Hawaii."

He continued across the pitch and when I looked at Nate, he picked me up, making me shriek in surprise as he spun me around, then put me down again.

"What was that for?" I asked, looking up at him. He shrugged and hugged me tightly, his arms wrapped around my shoulders.

"You're great." He told me. "Don't ever stop believing that, yeah? No matter if your boyfriends or girlfriends for that sake cheat on you a hundred time. No matter if your brothers show up and want a relationship to you. No matter if Johnson tries to bring you down. You're stronger than her and you are one of the strongest people I know."

He pulled back to look at me and I chuckled softly, shaking my head.

"Where did all of that come from?" I asked. "Since when Nathaniel Twig get sentimental?"

"Since his best friend went through hell in less than a year." He told me, wrapping an arm around me. "I'd rather not leave you alone. Not with the suicidal joke you came up with this morning."

"Oh c'mon." I laughed. "It's a coping mechanism, Nate. It was just a joke."

"Coping mechanisms always have some true to it." He shrugged. "Now c'mon. Let's get back to the castle. You can be alone in your dorm."


	65. Chapter 65

"When are you and Callie getting married?" I asked Nate, my arm intertwined with his as we walked back to the castle.

He choked at my words and looked down at me with wide eyes before going back to looking straight ahead.

"Why're we discussing marriage? Callie and I are seventeen and we are _still_ in school."

"So?" I questioned. "I wanna be a bridesmaid. Do you see yourself marrying her in the future?"

"No." He shook his head. "But that's not because of Callie. I love her with everything I have and I want to spend the rest of my life with her but neither of us wants to get married. Why should we? We don't need a piece of paper to tell us we love each other."

_I've never quite looked at it like that._

"I want to get married someday." I told him. "I see your point but I believe there is a big step from dating to being married. I believe it makes it more official that you want to spend the rest of your life together."

Nate hummed in response.

"Were you planning on marrying Fred?"

"Planning?" I laughed. "No, but if you're asking whether or not I could see us at the altar in the future, then yes. I could definitely see that because I genuinely though that one kiss was a mistake and that it wouldn't repeat itself."

"Then he went and took it one step further." Nate nodded slowly. "Fred's an asshole."

" _That_ he is." I agreed with a deep breath leaving my mouth, then I saw Fred stand by the entrance to the castle. "And he's standing right there."

Nate looked at me, then looked towards the castle.

"Oh no, he can just _try_ and bother you and he'll face'll worsen." he said, moving to walk in front of me, taking fast and steady steps towards Fred.

"Hey, Twig, back up." Fred said quickly, holding up his hands in surrender. "I'm not out for any trouble, I just need a word with Julie."

"You don't _need_ anything!" Nate spat, pushing Fred in the chest. "You've done quite enough, don't you think? You cheat and you decide to tell Johnson something that's not _up_ to you. If Julie wanted people to know that she's got more family than just her father, she will do so, that is not something you can just tell people, especially not the one you cheated on her with!"

I caught up with Nate, grabbing his arm to tug him back while I looked up at Fred. He and Nate were looking at each other like two lions fighting for the role of fucking king of the jungle or something.

"What do you want?" I asked, keeping my grip on Nate's arm.

"It's uh— can we talk in private?" Fred's eyes flicked down to meet mine.

"No. Nate is family to me so anything you say to me, you can say in front of him."

Fred glanced at Nate but then nodded and looked back to me.

"Listen, I didn't mean to tell Angie— Angelina about your family." He told me. "It just slipped out."

"Right." I nodded. "It just _slipped._ Just like your cock into her vagina."

He sighed at me but decided to ignore my comment.

"She wrote your brother to get him here." He explained. "She's trying to throw you off, break you, I guess. I tried to convince her not to but— as you see, it didn't work."

I scoffed and I felt myself tear up at the thought of a certain person trying to _break_ me like he said. I didn't understand what I ever did to Angelina, other than date the person she wanted.

"Fucking unbelievable." I said. "I told you I didn't want to go looking for my family and then you tell _her_ about it. What did you think would happen, Fred? Now I have a brother wandering Hogwarts. Every time you do something, I think that's it but then you actually proceed to break my trust _even_ more. You are unbelievable."

"Jule—"

" _Fuck_ you." I spat. "Go to hell."

Nate wrapped his arm around my shoulders and led me further inside before we rounded the corner and made our way down the stairs.

"You don't have to see your brother." He told me. "Just don't go near Angelina. He's probably there, seeing as she's the reason he's here."

"I just—" I sighed. "I don't want to think about it. I don't even know how to react. I simply don't understand why Angelina is so dedicated to fuck me up in the head. She won. She got him, she got Fred, yet she continues to now target me on my family."

Nate gave my shoulder a squeeze before he simply let go of me.

"I'm gonna cheer you up." He told me. "I'll go to Hogsmeade before dinner and get you some chocolate frogs."

I pouted and looked up at him. "You'd do that for me?"

"Of course, J." He grinned. "As you said, we're family and I'd do anything for my family. _Even_ go all the way to Hogsmeade for some chocolate frogs."

I smiled, showing him I was thankful. Nate tapped the bricks by the Hufflepuff basement, and the entrance slowly opened, letting us enter.

"Fred shouldn't even have been there." Nate told me. "George basically forced him to go to their common room."

I shrugged. Fred probably found a way out of it. Definitely sounds like him. He hates being told what to do, especially when it's from his brother.

"I'm gonna take a nap." I informed my friends who all sat in the sofas while Nate walked over to sit down next to Callie. "Wake me up before dinner?"

"You already know it." Seth smiled softly. "You okay after seeing your brother?"

"Yeah." I nodded slowly. "I guess. It didn't seem like he knew who I was so hopefully he'll leave again today and I won't have to see him again."

_Hopefully that was the truth._


	66. Chapter 66

Seth and Nate wheezed with laughter after Melba went into deep conversation about how to stop human violence. Now she looked offended with her arms folded over her chest and her back leaned against the wall of the dormitory where the boys slept at night.

"I'm not— not bloody joking." She said. Her voice was distant and she had a hard time keeping her eyes open.

"Melly, dear old Melly." Callie giggled, leaning closer to Melba while stroking her hair like she was a puppy. "The boys are just being assholes."

_Has the ceiling always been spinning?_

"I just had an idea!" Melba exclaimed, getting up on her knees. "Nate, if it's okay with you, I'd like to kiss your girlfriend."

Callie frowned before leaning closer to me.

"Nate has a girlfriend?" She whispered. "Who?"

I shrugged as I looked around the room, my eyes eventually landing back on Callie.

"Who's Nate?"

We stared at each other for a moment before we both broke into laughter and leaned against each other.

"That would be so hot." Nate mumbled before his voice turned into singing. " _Callie._ Hi baby."

Callie scrunched up her nose but immediately started crawling across the floor, leaning up to kiss Nate on the jaw.

They shared a look and then Callie crawled over to Melba. The two immediately dove in and the two started making out heavily while Nate and Seth watched with wide eyes. Nate's lips were parted but Seth had the joint between his and then he slowly narrowed his eyes. He turned his head and looked at me, then smiled softly.

"Hi." I giggled, sliding further down the wall until I almost lied down. "You look like someone I know."

"You look like someone I fucked in my dream." He responded, his voice slurred from the mix of weed and alcohol.

"Lucky girl." I muttered, giggling again. "Has anyone seen Fred?"

My voice was suddenly much louder, earning the attention of Nate too, seeing as Callie and Melba were still making out.

"Who the fuck is Fred?" Seth asked with a frown.

"My boyfriend!" I said cheerfully, pulling myself up to stand. "Where's Fred? He owes me a kiss."

"Julie, Jules—" Nate grabbed onto my hand when I tried making my way towards the door. "You and Fred aren't together anymore. He cheated on you."

I looked down at him and frowned, shaking my head before I ran a hand through my hair.

"No, Fred wouldn't do that." I laughed softly. Nate tugged at my hand and I slid down to sit on the floor, leaning against him. He wrapped his arm around me, holding me in a protecting grip. "Fred cheated?"

"Yeah." Nate sighed. "I'm sorry, honey."

"Maybe he was mad at me." I said and sat up straight, looking at Nate. " _Maybe_ it was revenge!"

"Revenge for what?" Seth asked, narrowing his eyes at me. "What did you _do_ July?"

He started laughing again and so did I when he called me July.

"I didn't _do_ anything." I defended myself when I was finished laughing. "Not _while_ we were together, at least. No, I simply had a thing for George before Fred."

I closed my eyes and leaned against Nate again while the room went quiet. Even Callie and Melba stopped making out.

"And I sucked him off." I yawned. "I'm such a slut."

I fell asleep soon after and I didn't wake up until the door to the dormitory slammed. My body jolted awake and I looked around to see the four of my friends wake up as well while the one we hadn't seen for a couple of hours, rushed towards his dresser.

I wasn't high anymore so I noticed that tears had stained Nick's cheeks and he was panicking. His movements were fast as he went through his dresser to find some clothes. Then he grabbed a towel and rushed back out of the room without saying a word and without giving any of us the possibility to say something.

"Was that Nick?" Melba muttered, rubbing her eyes as she sat up.

"He was— crying." Seth frowned.

"I think he's gonna take a shower." I yawned, clamping a hand over my mouth. "How long've we been here for?"

I got no response so I slowly made my way up the floor and opened the door to leave the dormitory. Though I froze when I saw the person from yesterday stand in the common room, talking to Cedric.

_Matteo_

There was another guy with them. He looked a little younger than Matteo. His hair was lighter and so was his eyes and he looked more casual in his clothing than Matteo did.

"There she is." Cedric said, nodding towards me. "Julie, you never mentioned you had brothers, yet alone that it was Matteo and Ezra."

I took one long step back and slammed the door shut, causing Nate and Seth to flinch as they were sitting right by the door.

"They're both here." I said. "They're both _fucking_ here."

"Who?" Callie asked, rubbing her eyes.

"Both of my fucking brothers!" I yelled in a whisper. "They're right out there and they know who I am because Cedric led them straight to me and now I can't leave because if I leave this room, they're gonna talk to me and I don't want to talk to them and—"

"Julie." Seth interrupted. "My head is hurting. Can you please slow down and not be so loud."

"Fuck!" I shouted out of frustration, kicking my foot against the wall. "Ow, that hurt."

Nate sighed and stood up to grab the handle of the door, though I stopped him from it by pressing my hand to the door.

"Don't go out there!" I panicked. "If you walk out looking like that, while I go out there looking like this, it'll only look like we just shagged. And if all of us go out, looking like this—"

I motioned towards our small group of five people.

"... it'll look like we just had an orgy."

Nate raised an eyebrow at me and looked back at the group. Callie and Melba had fallen asleep again in each other's arms while Seth was on the edge of falling asleep as well.

"That wouldn't be weirder than what you just confessed to us earlier." Nate said and then looked at me again. "Seriously? You sucked off George?"

My eyes widened and I clamped a hand over my mouth.

"I did not say that!" I shouted in a whisper, letting my hand drop from my mouth. "You did not hear that. You must've heard wrong."

"Nah, I'm pretty sure I heard correctly." He said. "When the fuck did you give your boyfriend's brother a blowjob?"

" _Ex—"_ I corrected him.

"You still sucked off his brother!"

"When I was fourteen!" I exclaimed. "We were just experimenting at that point and we got each other off. It was like practice, and we never talked about it again so don't you dare ever mentioning it _again."_

Nate held up his hands in surrender while shrugging as to promise me he wouldn't mention it.

"Now let's go out there." Nate said, tightening his grip on the handle but I pressed my hand harder against the door. "Listen, I don't know about you but I'm gonna go and check on Nick. He didn't seem himself."

"I noticed!" I snapped. "But he's showering."

I sighed.

"Fine, go check on Nick. Though I'm gonna stay hiding in here."

He nodded, then opened the door a little before leaning down to whisper in my ear.

"I don't think they'll leave anytime soon."

"Yeah, well they're not exactly supposed to be here." I told him. "I don't know how they were let into Hogwarts, I don't know why they are here or why they even give a flying fuck about me, seeing as they haven't seen me since I was a baby!"

Nate simply smiled at me before he went out of the door and I quickly shut it behind him. I was starting to sweat a little bit. The thought of going out there scared the shit out of me.

If I ever wanted to meet them, it should be _my_ choice but Angelina took that away from me when she brought them here. It was bad enough when I just thought it was one of them but now that they were both here.

I was gonna be in this room for a while.


	67. Chapter 67

I decided to leave the room. Seth, Melba and Callie were now all three asleep against the walls in the corner of the dormitory, Nick was showering and Nate was checking up on him.

When I left the dormitory, Cedric was still talking to my brothers. They were talking about quidditch.

_Oh Merlin._

We have to find a new seeker for the team and one of us has to step up as captain.

I looked at my brothers who had yet to notice I had left the dormitory. I nervously fidgeted with the rings on my fingers, staring at the two people that were related to me.

_I can't do this._

I was so scared, yet so angry. Scared of meeting my brothers and angry at Angelina for bringing them here. Even angrier with Fred though. He told her about them so if you think about it, this is all _his_ fault.

"Julie!" Ced spoke when he saw me, and I gulped harshly when they all three looked at me. "I unquit the team, by the way. I'm sorry about my outburst."

"I uh—" I ended up shrugging and he sent me a smile before walking up to the dormitory, leaving me alone in the common room with my flesh and blood.

"Why is there three passed out people in the dorm?!" Cedric suddenly yelled, causing me to flinch. "It smells like weed in here!"

I noticed the younger brother, most likely Ezra, furrow his brows and glance at Matteo before he looked back to me.

"That's not me." I hurried to say. "I didn't smoke, I— my friends did."

That was a lie.

I got high as fuck. Why that was the first thing I decided to say to them, I don't know.

"It's okay." Matteo said and shrugged. "We're not here to scold you for smoking weed."

I gulped and pulled down the sleeves of my jumper, making sure they covered my hands completely. Then I wrapped my arms around myself and looked away to avoid their gazes.

"You've grown."

I looked at them again as it was a different voice. It wasn't Matteo. It was Ezra and it was the first time I heard his voice. He looked quite familiar actually. After all, he was the youngest of them, meaning that he graduated the latest.

Fred said in my fifth year, right?

"I should've recognised you out on the pitch." Matteo said. "You've changed a lot since you were in year two."

_Wait what?_

"Even year five." Ezra added, pushing his hands into the pockets of his trousers.

Don't tell me they knew it was me when they were students here. Don't tell me they actually knew that their little sister was there, right in front of them, and not once did they reach out.

"That's what happens in life." I shrugged. "You grow. And I'm not twelve or fifteen anymore. I'm almost eighteen."

"We know." They said in unison, then exchanged awkward glances as Ezra sat down on one of the sofas.

"One of your friends wrote us." Matteo said, fidgeting with the rings on his own fingers.

_Oh hell no._   
_We do the exact same thing._

"She's not my friend." I said, raising my eyebrows.

"O—kay, well she wrote us, saying you knew about us and wanted to meet us." He said. "That you needed some family right now."

"You're not my family." I snapped. I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment, taking a step further away from the boys dormitory. "I'm sorry. I'm not mad at _you,_ but I don't need this right now. I don't need two brothers to show up in my life right now. I don't know what Angelina told you but I don't _need_ you."

Maybe I was being a bit tough but I told Fred I wasn't ready for this and then he tells Angelina who gets them here on purpose just to spite me.

"I'll take it you're not good friends with her?" He asked. I scoffed in response. "Alright then. Won't you come and sit? We'd like to meet you properly."

I glanced towards the sofa where Ezra said, watching the conversation between Matteo and I.

"Can I uh— go change first?" I asked, pointing towards the girls dormitories. "I've uh— slept in these and they smell like weed. _Not_ that I smoked."

_Why am I lying?_

_Why do I care what they think of me?_

"Of course." Matteo nodded and offered a small smile. I repaid it as good as I could before I hurried to the girls dormitories. I found my room and closed the door behind me before I finally let out a deep breath.

He seemed nice. Matteo seemed nice. I didn't know about Ezra. I didn't exactly have an impression of him yet but Matteo... yeah he was nice.

I changed out of my clothes and into a pair of mum jeans and an oversized white t-shirt with a print of California on it. I looked myself in the mirror, making sure I didn't look like shit, though I did.

I had mascara under my eyes and my hair was messed up, but once I fixed those things, I left the room again, my arms folded over my chest.

There was no harm in getting to know them, right? It's not like it was their fault that I was left behind with my dad when I was only a baby.

"I want to know something." I said as I stood behind the sofa, resting my hands on the back of it while my brothers sat in the opposite one. "If you knew where I was this entire time. If you knew I was your sister, why didn't you reach out? We were all students here at the same time at one point."

"What did you expect us to do?" Ezra asked. "Our mum left for a reason. We would just fuck it all up if we told you."

"Ezra." Matteo sighed as I gulped. I didn't like the tone Ezra had. Almost as if he was at me.

"This is going worse than I expected." Ezra sighed before he looked at me. "I'm Ezra in case you didn't know. That's Matteo, he's the oldest."

I inhaled sharply, nodding.

"Yeah, I know. I found your mum's diary." I said. I didn't refer to her as _my_ mum. They were raised by her, I wasn't.

"How is uh—" Matteo sighed. "How's dad?"

I raised my eyebrows at the question and shrugged as I walked around to sit on the sofa.

"Do you _really_ want to know that?" I asked. "Plus, I wouldn't know. I don't live there anymore."

I pulled my feet up on the sofa and wrapped my arms around my knees.

"You don't live with dad anymore?" Matteo asked. "Where _do_ you live?"

I sighed, then I realised that all my stuff was at the Burrow. I had moved into Ginny's room and now Fred and I weren't together anymore so that was just great.

"Can we stop acting like we didn't just meet?" I asked. "It's not like we spent a few years apart. I didn't know you were existed until a month ago. I thought my mother was a Muggle until a month ago. A muggle who left when she found out I was a witch and my dad, a wizard."

"That was his excuse?" Ezra laughed. "That shit bag couldn't come up with anything better? That's fucking laughable."

"You know what else is fucking laughable?" I asked. "My entire existence. Everything I thought I knew, was one big lie. Now, I don't have a dad, I've never had a mum and I was and still am an only child."


	68. Chapter 68

"Listen, we don't want to ruin how your life is now." Matteo explained. "But you can't blame us for wanting to see our little sister."

"You _did_ see me." I said. "And you let me continue living my life with that excuse of a father."

"Why do you keep talking about him like that?" Matteo asked. "What did he do?"

_What didn't he do?_

"All I'll say is that when your mum wrote in her diary that Ted Pegas would never lay a hand on his children— that turns out to be a lie."

"He hit you?" Ezra asked and sat up straight. "When?"

_Why does he act like he care?_

"Nick refuses to talk to me!" Nate's voice made me jump as he entered the common room. "The boy is crying his eyes out. He had a full on panic attack but he won't tell me what's going on."

"What?" I frowned, looking at Nate as he walked over and threw himself next to me.

"He was sitting in the corner of the shower—" Nate looked at me. "In that position, actually."

I undid my arms from around my legs and put them down on the floor.

"He was full clothed with the water just pouring over him." Nate continued. "If I find out who hurt him, I'll murder them."

"He didn't say anything at all?" I questioned. "Not one thing that could hint to why he looks like a broken puppy?"

"No." Nate shook his head. "He ended up screaming at me to leave, so I did because I figured he needs to be alone."

I frowned before I swatted Nate's chest.

"You left him alone?" I asked. "Are you dumb? Go make sure he doesn't do anything stupid! Remember when I was in that state? Go!"

I pointed towards the door and Nate looked at me carefully before he realised I was right. He jumped off the sofa and sprinted out of the common room again.

Oh shit.

Matteo and Ezra witnessed that.

"That was Nate."

"One of the friends with the weed?" Matteo asked and I nodded quickly.

"Yep." I gulped. "He smokes a lot. It's because of a uh— back condition."

_What the fuck._

"Uh-huh." Matteo nodded, a smile on his face. He obviously didn't buy that. "So is he your boyfriend?"

My eyes widened and I immediately shook my head.

"Nate?" I asked. "Fuck no. I've had one boyfriend and he turned out to be a complete dimwit."

How did I go from living with my dad whom I thought was an okay person, to sitting here with brothers I didn't know about.

"Where do you live, Julie?" Matteo asked. "Because you're still seventeen, meaning that if you were to live somewhere other than with your guardian, the decision has to be made by the ministry."

"Well I could've lived with our mother." I said, raising my voice a little. Matteo was taken back but he quickly composed himself, clearing his throat as both he as Ezra listened to me. "The ministry helped her and helped you escape. She could've decided to report him, to file an accusation and then she could've been allowed to take me with you, but she left me behind and that excuse she had written in her diary. It's bullshit. Who in their right mind would leave their daughter with their abusive husband?"

Matteo and Ezra looked at each other before looking at me again, and neither of them said a word. They looked sad, almost ashamed.

"I've never had a good relationship to dad." I explained. "He was always working, never wanted to have an actual conversation with me. He was always way too busy to spend time with his daughter. Sure, he bought me a dog and held a memorial when she died but what does that mean when I still didn't get to have a proper and healthy relationship to my father? Yet, he decided that when I got a boyfriend, he should have a say, he should act protective and tell me to dump him because he simply does not like him. And then when I find out the truth, when I discover that my mother wasn't a muggle, that my mother may have cared for me, when I confronted him about that, he hit me and kicked me out. I went to move in with my friend a few days before Christmas and on Christmas morning, he showed up and made a scene because he wanted me to come home."

My eyes were full of tears and I was making hand gestures while I probably looked like a mess. I was just tired of this. This was why I didn't want to meet my family. I was scared it would hurt and I was scared that I'd end up caring or bonding with them. That would just make it so much harder when they decided to leave again.

"My boyfriend had to sneak me out of the house—" I continued. "... so now my stuff is at his home but we're not together anymore so yeah, I'm pretty much homeless when I finish school."

I pulled myself up from the sofa and pulled my sleeves down before I turned towards my brothers.

"Listen, I am sorry for wasting your time but I never wanted you to come here. I have five amazing friends whom I consider family, so I don't need any blood relatives. Plus, it's not like you're in need of a sister. Our mother replaced me."

I left before they could say anything else. Hopefully they'd leave so I didn't have to see them again. Now I was gonna find Angelina so I could get some answers as to why she finds it so amusing to toy with my life.

I made my way up through the castle until I reached the Gryffindor common room. I said the password and was let in. George still updated me on the password every time it changed. Must be a habit, seeing as Fred and I aren't together anymore.

My feet carried me towards the table in the common room where Angelina and Alicia sat. I placed my palms roughly against the surface of the table, looking at Angelina. She smirked as she slowly lifted her head to look at me, while Alicia mumbled a _'what the hell'._

"Did you get my surprise?" Angelina asked with a mocking tone to her voice. "Did you like it?"

"What do you want from me?" I asked. "You've got Fred. You already won, so _what_ do you _want_ from me?"

Angelina scoffed and closed her textbook before she stood up, pushing the chair back, and at the same time, I straightened up.

"You think I've won?" She laughed. "He doesn't want me. He's never fucking wanted me. Don't you see, Pegas? It has always been you."

I rolled my eyes.

"It's always been me, yeah?" I asked. "Because cheating on me is the same as choosing me? _Wanting_ me? You're delusional. Just as delusional as Fred is for thinking he could get away with that."

Silence.

"What the fuck!"

My eyes widened and I turned at the sound of Ginny's voice. She had been sitting on the sofa along with Harry, Ron and Hermione but currently she was standing, her full attention on me.

"Fred!" She roared through the common room before she bolted towards the stairs. "Frederick Gideon Weasley!"

I watched as Fred tiredly walked out of his dormitory, rubbing his eyes before he looked at his younger sister.

"I was taking a nap—" he sighed. "What is it?"

"Were we _raised_ by the same woman or were you not paying any attention through any of the parenting mum did?!" Ginny yelled and Fred looked at her with confusion before he noticed I was in the common room. He sighed and seemed to understand what was going on before he looked at Ginny again. "Cheating on your girlfriend? Not only once, but twice? I thought I knocked some bloody sense into you after the first time but you just can't help yourself, can you?!"

_Go Ginny._

_I don't know._

"I'm going back to sleep." Fred informed, his eyebrows raised. He turned around to walk back into his dormitory but Ginny grabbed his arm harshly and yanked him back. I moved my fingers over my lips, trying to hide the smile that was starting to form. "Ginny, let go of my arm."

"You disgust me." She told him. "It's _embarrassing_ to be related to you."

"Right." He nodded. " _Bye,_ Ginny."

He walked back inside and shut the door closed. Ginny then turned around and walked down the staircase.

"So that's why your friends came after him?" She asked and looked at me. I simply nodded. "Right, well, I'll be sure to tell my mum. Hopefully she won't let him in the house afterwards."

I couldn't help but let out a chuckle at what I just witnessed, though my face quickly dropped when I realised I still hadn't gotten my answer. I turned towards Angelina again who had her arms folded over her chest.

She was so nice in the first few years of Hogwarts but then Fred and I got together and she turned out to be a complete bitch.

"Why did you write my brothers?" I asked as the door to the dormitory opened again, though now it was George who came out to see what was going on. "It's none of your business."

"Oh, I was only trying to help." She said innocently, placing a hand against her collarbone. "Freddie told me you wanted to see them."

"Bullshit!" I spat. "You're trying to get to me, to hit me in my weak spot but what you don't know is that I don't give a flying fuck. You can't get to me."

Angelina let out a laugh as she took a step towards me.

"Oh sweetie." She pouted. "I already got to you. Otherwise you wouldn't be here."

I closed my fists by my sides, feeling my nails dig into my palms. I had already punched her yesterday. I wasn't about to do it again.

"Alright—" it came from George before he wrapped an arm around my stomach to pull me back. I felt his breath against my ear as he lowered his voice. "Relax. If you keep punching her, it'll end up waking the attention of one of the professors and you'll just get in trouble."

I took a deep breath and let George guide me back towards the painting and out through it.

"She's up to something." I told George when the painting closed again behind us. "She's up to something but I have no idea what it is. My brothers are currently sitting down in the Hufflepuff basement because she wrote them, acting like she was my friend and worried about me. She's gonna do something."

George placed his hands on my shoulders before sliding them up to rest right under my jaw. He used his thumbs to gently push on my jaw, making my head tilt back and my eyes met his.

"Try and not focus on that right now. Stay out of trouble for just a couple of weeks while your face heals completely after the kick from her boot."

I sighed and rolled my eyes before flicking them away to avoid his gaze.

"Jules—" he called my name and I looked at him again, pouting slightly which made him laugh. "Stop that. I'm being serious, J. I don't want to see you get in trouble with the teachers. You'll end up losing that shiny badge in your robes."

He let go of me and I guided my hand through my hair while wetting my lips.

"I may have mentioned it to my friends that I gave you a blowjob in year four." I decided to tell him as I started playing with the rings on my fingers again. George eyes widened for a moment before he looked over my head. "We were all very high and I don't know— I guess it came out. I don't remember saying it but Nate do."

"Only Nate?" He asked and looked down at me again.

"I don't know."

"Because if that comes back to Fred at any point that we got down and dirty together, he'll kill me. Even though it was before you and he started going out. He'll kill me."

"I know." I sighed. "I told Nate to never mention it again and I'll try and figure out if the rest of them remember it."

George looked at me again and a smile formed on his lips while he nodded slowly. It was a cheeky smile, showing his teeth and when his eyes stared down into mine, it was like a shot of electricity shot through me.

His smile slowly faded and so did mine as we stood there, outside of the Gryffindor tower, staring at each other's eyes with little distance between us.

George took a step closer to me, now standing so close that I automatically raised my hands to press against his chest. My lips parted and I felt my breath get heavier while it was like a lump formed in my throat.

He brought his left hand up to brush some of my hair off my shoulder, then his hand rested against the side of my neck.

We both started leaning in towards one another and I let out a heavy breath when I felt _his_ breath against my face.

"We shouldn't be doing this." I whispered, running my hand up to the back of his neck. He brushed his lips over mine for a short second, making shivers go down my spine, goosebumps rising on my skin.

"I know." He whispered back, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of my mouth. "We shouldn't."

Our lips met for a short second. A very short second where our tongues met. A short second where we shared the same oxygen and then our lips broke apart again, both of us breathing heavily.

"This is wrong." I mumbled and he hummed in response, nodding slowly while his forehead rested against mine.

"So wrong." He whispered. I felt his thumb brush over my bottom lip and as soon as he removed his hand from my face, our lips melted together.


	69. Chapter 69

My brothers were gone when I got back to my common room. It seemed as they had left the castle completely so I was relieved, yet full of regret and guilt.

George and I spent roughly ten to fifteen seconds on just roughly making out while grasping onto each other. I was grasping his chest and he was grasping onto the flesh of my thighs. We both wanted each other closer, we were both full of lust, though we eventually broke apart and realised what we were doing was wrong.

I went back to my common room and George to his. I didn't say a word to my friends about it and now it had been about three weeks since it happened.

Fred was still trying to get me to forgive him but now I mostly rejected him because I felt guilty about making out with his brother. I did that only a week after he cheated on me. Sure, Fred cheated on me but that didn't mean I had the right to go and throw myself at his twin brother.

Nick's mood hadn't gotten much better in the last three weeks. He always looked like he had just been crying and he flinched when anyone made any sudden movements. I was really worried about him, we all were but he refused to talk about it.

The only thing he said was that someone knew he was gay and had pushed him to the ground. He said that's how he got the big bruise on his hip. He told us he was just a little shock up about it but I knew it was something deeper and I was scared of what it was, scared of what someone had done to him.

But I didn't want to push it either. Nick was gonna talk about it when Nick was _ready_ to talk about it. Pushing it could possibly make it worse.

"Hey, Julie." Fred's voice came from behind me, making my body tense up as I started walking faster. "Can we talk?"

"Why is it that you always try to talk to me when I'm trying to get from one place to another?" I asked and glanced at him when he caught up with me pretty quickly.

"Your next class is in twenty." He told me. "I know that because I have that class too."

"So?" I asked. "Doesn't mean I don't have anywhere to be."

"For fuck sake, Julie." He sighed. "Just five minutes is all I'm asking."

"I don't want to speak to you, Fred!" I raised my voice and stopped walking to look at him. "What is it you don't understand?!"

"I think I can explain it now." He said with his eyebrows furrowed and a painful expression on his face. "I can explain why I slept with her."

I scoffed, shaking my head at him.

"I'm tired of your explanations." I said. I went to walk away again but he grabbed my hand, tugging me back.

" _Please,_ Jules." He whispered. "It's important. It's _really_ important."

I looked at him for a moment, considering my options while he held my hand. When I nodded slowly, he guided me with him down the corridor and into an empty classroom.

I let out a sigh and jumped up to sit on one of the tables while Fred dug into his pocket.

"I found something in Angelina's nightstand." He told me. "I was suspecting it so I went through her stuff to see if I could find anything."

"What're you saying?" I frowned. "What— that she drugged you?"

He pulled out a vial and walked over to me to show it to me. It was a heart shaped pink vial with a label on it.

_Amortentia._

"You've got to be kidding me." I scoffed and looked up at him. "What, so you're saying that Angelina drugged you with this and that's why you slept with her? What kind of excuse is that?"

"Oh so you don't believe me?" He asked. "I _told_ you how it felt and now I found this? It's quite fucking obvious!"

I pushed him in the chest, trying to get him away from me so I could get off the table, but he went straight back over to me and placed a hand on either side of my thighs, blocking my way of getting down.

"I fucking love you, Julie." He whispered and cupped my jaw. "You have to believe me."

"Fred—"

" _Please."_ He begged, tearing up as he pressed a kiss to my lips. I placed my hand on top of his, pulling away after I let him have a little bit of affection. "I just— I-I need you back, my darling."

I closed my eyes when he rested his forehead against mine. I couldn't possibly do this. Especially not after I kissed his brother. I didn't even know if I believed Fred. He seemed genuine but he had lied to me so many times that I didn't trust him.

"I am sorry if what you are saying is true." I sobbed before I wiped the tears that had spilled from my eyes. "But I can't know if you're telling the truth or—"

"I'll take truth serum again!" He exclaimed, taking a step back. "I'll drink it and I won't be able to lie, _please."_

I jumped off the table and wrapped my arms around myself while looking at him through teary eyes.

"C'mon, Fred." I spoke. "Do you really think we'd be able to have a healthy relationship? You're standing here, offering to take truth serum so I'll know the truth. A relationship won't work without trust and we don't trust each other."

"I trust you!"

_You shouldn't._

"Just drop it." I told him. "We're over."

I left the room as quickly as I possibly could and started making my way down the corridor again to meet my friends in the courtyard for a break before our lesson started. I could really use a smoke, especially after the small chat with Fred.

Had Angelina really used a love potion on him? An amortentia which is the strongest and the most dangerous one? If she had done that, it was rape. Angelina had raped him.

_Fucking bitch._

That was another thing I now had to confront her about. I was so hoping that Fred was lying about the potion. I don't know what I'd do if I found out he had been raped by her.

Just because we weren't together anymore, didn't mean I magically stopped caring for him. He still lied to me and he still acted like a jerk when I confronted him about cheating so I wasn't gonna get back together with him but if she raped him.

Boy, I was gonna go have a chat with his mother because I know how powerful Molly is when she's angry or protective of any of her kids.

"Hi guys." I smiled softly when I reached the specific corner of the courtyard. Seth already sat with a cigarette between his fingers when I sat down next to him.

Against the opposite wall sat Nate with Callie lying down, her head in his lap, and Melba sat at the end of Callie's feet.

"Where's Nick?" I asked and looked around at the four of them.

"I just spent thirty minutes looking for him." Nate told me while I pulled a cigarette out of the pack that had been in my pocket. "I don't know where he is. Hell, I don't know what's gotten into him."

"He experienced his first hate crime." Melba sighed. "Now that he's out and open about being gay— it was hard the first time I experienced it too."

_No, it's more than that._

"Have you got a lighter?" I asked Seth, motioning with the cigarette in my hand. He dug into his pocket and pulled out his pink lighter, turning it on. I placed the cigarette between my lips, still holding it between my thumb and my index as Seth lightened it. "Thanks."

I inhaled sharply, closing my eyes as I enjoyed the feeling of the smoke hitting my lungs.

"What do you reckon we'll be doing for charms?" Callie asked. "I'm kinda tired of the knitting charm."

"Aren't we supposed to change to the bubble-head charm for the next month or so?" Nate asked, running his fingers through Callie's hair.

"I think Flitwick said something along the lines of that." Seth nodded as I exhaled the smoke from my lungs.

I was really worried about Nick. I knew what it was like to be in such a dark place where you distance yourself from others, even the people you love. Nick had been doing exactly that for the past three weeks and I was terrified that something else had happened.

"I'm tired." Melba announced. "I think I will take a nap after Charms class."

"I'll just take a nap right now." Callie mumbled. "Nate works as my pillow."

"That's right." Nate nodded with a small chuckle rolling off his lips. "That's what I'm good for. I act as a pillow."

_Stop being a cute couple._

"Oh, guys!" Callie exclaimed as she suddenly sat up and turned her back to the wall. "Nate and I will be looking for flats together during the Easter. We've both got savings from our parents so we'll be able to afford it and we want to live together."

Well it only makes sense. Nate and Callie are the top one couple around Hogwarts that everyone wants to be. They never fight, never anything serious at least. They only bicker or argue and they love each other very much.

They also both come from very rich wizarding families, meaning they've got a whole lot of money on their savings. They can afford the best kind of flat, I think even a house if they want that. I on the other hand don't have any kind of savings. I never had the relationship to my dad that Nate has to his or that Callie has to hers, and most of my life I believed my mother was a muggle and hated me.

Though, I'll be okay.

I'll figure something out after Hogwarts.


	70. Chapter 70

"Okay but imagine it!" Nate exclaimed, standing on the coffee table in the common room. "If I took both of Seth's sisters and put them on top of each other, they wouldn't even be as tall as Melba's brother."

"Which brother?" Melba asked. "I've got four."

She took a bite of the carrot in her hand, the sound echoing through the room. Nate blinked, then turned to Seth.

"Cassia and Lucille are both what— five feet tall?"

"They're quite short." Seth nodded. "Five feet seems accurate."

"And Melba's brother is ten feet." Nate continued, causing Melba, Callie and I to break into laughter. "What? What did I say?"

"Are you talking about Juniper?" Melba laughed. "He's six foot six, not ten feet tall."

Nate shrugged and got off the coffee table to throw himself on the sofa, right in the middle of Callie and I.

"That's why I'm scared of your brothers." Seth announced. "They're all fucking giants."

"They're not giants, you fucking asshole." Melba cursed and threw a throw pillow at him. Seth shrieked but caught it in his hand, then put it down next to him. "Though they're all a lot taller than me, even Brighton who's fucking younger than me. I hate it."

"What did you expect?" Nate asked. "You're tiny. Five foot four."

"Why do you think I'm violent?" Melba asked him and raised her eyebrows. "Do you need me to come over there and beat your ass?"

Nate furrowed his brows at her, then leaned closer to Callie for protection. She laughed and lifted her arm, wrapping it around him while kissing his shoulder.

"It's okay baby." She grinned. "I'll keep her on a leash."

"Woof." Melba barked before her lips spread into a taunting grin.

"Why am a I friends with you guys?" I chuckled, pulling myself up from the sofa. I walked across and sat back down next to Seth. I leaned my head on his shoulder and frowned when I saw the purplish bruise on the side of his neck. "Who gave you that?"

I pressed two fingers against the bruise and Seth quickly clamped a hand to the side of his neck.

"Was it Cho?" I asked and sat up straight.

"Didn't Cedric get back together with Cho?" Callie asked.

"So?" I asked. "Haven't we learned by now that _once a cheater, always a cheater?"_

"Wasn't Cho." Seth said, playfully rolling his eyes. "No— it's no one."

_No one, huh Seth?_

"Oh c'mon, mate." Nate laughed. "We're not gonna judge. Who sucked your neck like a vampire? Was it McGonagall?"

"Ew!" Seth exclaimed while Callie, Melba and I broke into laughter again. "Dude, what the hell?"

"I'm joking!" Nate chuckled. "Was it Filch? You gotta tell us if it was Filch."

Seth rolled his eyes and turned his head to look away but he then sat up straight and I followed his actions when I saw the same as he.

Nick's older brother Ember entered the common room with a pretty sad expression on his face.

"Ember?" Seth asked and stood up. "What're you doing? Where's Nick?"

"Sit down, Seth." Ember said and Seth glanced at the rest of us before he slowly sat back down.

I felt my heart beat rapidly against my rib cage and my palms were getting sweaty from feeling nervous.

"Is he okay?" Nate asked as Ember sat down on the coffee table, rubbing his hands against his knees.

"More importantly, is he alive?" Melba frowned. "Speak, Ember. Get your tongue running."

"Of course he's alive." Ember sighed. "But he'll be finishing school at home with a tutor."

Now I was even more awake, confused and everything. I unfolded my legs and put my feet on the floor, full attention on Ember.

"Our parents just came to get him a few hours ago." Ember told us. "They received a letter from him last night and they decided it would be better for him to get away from the school."

"What happened?" Callie asked. "He's been acting off for a while and the only thing he's told us was that—"

Callie stopped and gave Ember a look as to figure out if he knew that Nick was gay.

"Yeah, I know what he told you." Ember said. "He asked me to tell you what _really_ happened. He doesn't know how to talk about it, that's why he wrote it in a letter to our parents."

_Hurry up please._

"Nick was raped." Ember spoke and immediately I felt the silence and the surprise in the room. My breath hitched in my throat and I clamped a hand over my mouth. "He won't say by who, only that a Slytherin guy forced him to have intercourse with a Slytherin girl to well— _fuck_ the gay out of him."

"Oh my god." Melba yelped into her own hand. I started tearing up. Why didn't I know that? Why didn't I figure it out?

"So he's been taken out of school so he don't have to run into them and risk them hurting him further." Ember said. He cleared his throat to keep himself from tearing up over it. "He wants you to know that he wanted to tell you but as I mentioned, he can't speak about it, and he was scared that you'd look at him different. He also wanted me to tell you, especially you Nate and Melba, to not go looking for whoever did it. He doesn't want anymore trouble."

None of us said anything. Ember sighed and stood up, rubbing his hands together.

My heart felt shattered by the news. I couldn't possibly imagine what Nick was going through or how helpless he must've felt when he got raped. He told me it was different for a guy to be gay and yet I encouraged him to be more open about it because we'd love him no matter what. Maybe this wouldn't have happened if I hadn't said that. Maybe Nick would still be safe, still be okay.

He's not okay anymore. Our little Nick is not fucking okay.

"I'll be heading back home." Ember informed us. "You're welcome to write Nick. I know he'd be more than happy to hear from you or if you could come and visit him during Easter."

None of us said anything. Ember gave a small nod before he left the common room again. The five of us sat in silence, not knowing what to say about it.

Then Melba's sob's filled the room. Nate was quick to get out of Callie's grip so he could walk over to where she sat and pull her in for a comforting hug.

It must've hit close to home for her. She was gay as well so learning that one of her friends were raped for being gay as well.

_Nick was raped._

I felt disgusted. Disgusted with whoever did it, disgusted on behalf of Nick and disgusted with this fucked up world and the people in it that can't mind their own business when it comes to who people love.

_Nick was raped._


	71. Chapter 71

"Julie, you okay in there?" Seth asked and knocked on the door to my dormitory. I walked in there to be alone for a minute but then I broke into tears.

I shouldn't be crying. I felt so selfish. I wasn't the one who was raped. Though he's my best friend, I shouldn't be crying. I should be supporting him. I'll write him, tell him I hope he's doing okay.

"Jules." Seth called again, followed by another knock. I grabbed my wand and flicked it in the direction of the door, causing it to open. He looked at me and hurried inside, closing the door behind him. He sat down next to me and reached for my hand, holding it as we sat in silence.

"I don't understand how anyone would do that to him." I sobbed. "Nick is nothing but nice. He wouldn't hurt a fly and then someone goes and do this. Why couldn't they let him be who he is? Nick wouldn't have cared one bit if someone else were gay, he doesn't care. He's not a fucking homophobe. H-He's nice."

Seth wrapped his arm around me, pulling me into his embrace.

"I know." He whispered. "The world works in a fucked up way."

Seth brushed some hair out of my face and placed a kiss on my temple as he held me, though we both jumped when something crashed out in the common room.

I wiped my cheeks clean from the tears and Seth and I both exchanged a glance before we got up to walk out there.

Callie sat on the sofa, her legs folded and a hand clamped over her mouth while Nate was breathing heavily, his chest rising and falling quickly. A strand of his hair had fallen down in front of his face and he was clenching and unclenching his fists.

The lamp that stood on the side table by one of the sofas, was now on the floor in more than a hundred pieces and students had left their dormitories to see what was going on. The younger kids looked terrified while some of the older ones didn't give a fuck. They were quite used to someone from our friend group ruining something.

Melba wasn't in the room.

I didn't know where she was, but I knew she was the toughest of all of us so she was probably out there, punching some students.

"Go back to your dorms, everyone!" Seth called out, waving the others students away before they started to slowly make their way into their dormitories. Seth then flicked his wand, making the lamp repair itself and fly back to stand on the side table.

Though Nate grabbed it again and the lamp broke when he once again threw it against the floor.

"Seriously?" Seth asked. He sighed and repaired it again. "Let it stay intact, yeah?"

Nate ran a hand frustratingly through his hair before he turned to look at Callie, then at Seth and I.

"It was fucking Pucey!" Nate exclaimed. "I swear, it's fucking him. Who else has been bugging Melba since _she_ came out as gay? And now Nick... I swear it was him and some girl. Probably Patricia Stimpson."

_Patricia Stimpson?_

"The girl who fainted during the O.W.L.s?" Callie asked. "She's not in Slytherin. Ember said a Slytherin guy and a Slytherin girl."

I needed to smoke. I _really_ needed to smoke. I know Nick didn't want us to go looking for whoever raped him but he deserved justice for what happened and whoever hurt them, deserved to be hurt badly.

"Fine—" Nate shrugged. "But I am ninety-nine percent sure that Pucey is the guy involved. When I'm done with him, his parents won't be able to recognise him. Disgusting pig. Deserves to die. I'll slice his throat, I—"

"Nate!" Callie shouted. "Threatening to kill him won't help anything. He _still_ hurt Nick and we can't change that. Don't you think we should focus on him right now? He needs to know he's got our support. Let's all write him and then we can focus on finding who did it."

Nate walked over to the sofa and placed his hands on the armrest, leaning towards Callie.

"It's not just a threat." He said in a low and chilling voice. "I don't care if I'll go to Azkaban, not if it means that the people who hurt Nick are buried six feet under."

_I don't think he's joking._

"Nate, baby." Callie said and got up on her knees to wrap her arms around his neck. She pressed a kiss to his lips before she pulled him in for a hug. "I am just as pissed as you are but you need to promise me that you don't do anything stupid that'll get you arrested."

"Callie—"

" _Promise_ me, Nathaniel." She said with a stern tone to her voice. She pulled back and looked at him. He sighed but nodded slowly.

"Fine." He shrugged. "Melba is probably interrogating the Slytherins right now anyway. You know she's not gonna take it easy on whoever is guilty."

"I know." Callie said, forcing a smile. "C'mon, babe. Let's go write Nick."

She got off the sofa and glanced back at Seth and I with a fake smile before she laced her fingers with Nate's and pulled him out of the Hufflepuff basement.

I let out a shaky breath, running my hand over my mouth while I wiped the few tears that was currently rolling down one of my cheeks.

"Do you wanna write him too?" Seth asked. I simply nodded in response as he reached over to wrap an arm around my shoulder. "I think I've got some parchment in my drawer."

He led me into the boys dormitory and I sat down on his bed while he went to get some parchment and a quill for each of us so we could write Nick.

He needed to know that we wouldn't look at him differently. That he could always talk to us and come to us if he needed to talk.

I experienced sexual assault during the summer. I haven't talked about it because it's embarrassing. It was at the same club that I hooked up with that muggle.

Afterwards when I was walking home, this guy was following me and he managed to actually drag me into an alleyway. He pushed his hands up my dress, under my underwear but I kneed him and then ran.

It's not really in my interest anymore to go out and drink and I know how I felt afterwards but I can't even start to imagine what it was like for Nick to be raped.

I kept thinking about it. Kept trying to imagine how he was feeling or what he went through while walking around, keeping it to himself.

I just want him to be okay.


	72. Chapter 72

A few days passed and we got no response from Nick. We all sent him letters and we didn't blame him for not replying. He must be going through so much right now and he probably needed time before he felt comfortable talking to us.

Melba had waited outside the Slytherin dungeons until Malfoy came out. She had pushed him aside before she marched inside and found Pucey.

She told us that he acted like he didn't know anything but due to the smirk on his face, she knew he was involved in what happened to Nick.

Now it had been a few days and we were all still pretty shock up about the news about him and what he went through. We were trying to focus on school but it was hard because rumors were spreading. Somehow, everyone knew that Nick had been raped and people were talking about it.

I felt sick to my stomach how little respect people had. Some homophobes would make comments to us when we'd walk past them or claim that Melba deserved the same treatment so she could be _'fucked straight'._ I was disgusted and it made me terrified of officially coming out as bisexual. My friends know I'm into both guys and gals but now that I knew how many homophobes Hogwarts had, I didn't want to be open about it anymore.

We were called to Dumbledore office after Nick was pulled out of school. He wanted to ask if we had any idea who had done something like that towards Nick. They can't do anything about it because there is no proof that it was Pucey.

Fred had respected my boundaries. He too heard about what happened to Nick and came to ask if I knew how he was doing. George asked the same question and I had the same answer for both of them.

_"I don't know."_

I also told Fred that I'm sorry about what happened with Angelina and the love potion. That no one deserves to be raped. I'm about eighty percent sure that he's speaking the truth at this point but I'm still skeptical about getting back together.

It wasn't only the cheating that was toxic in our relationship. It was full of distrust and jealousy and it was unhealthy so I was gonna put my distance to him — also George. The only time we've talked since we kissed was when he asked about Nick. Other than that, we haven't said one word to each other or even looked in each other's directions.

Currently we were also focusing on quidditch. Hannah Abbott had taken Nick's spot as chaser alongside Seth and I.

I couldn't start to explain how much I missed Nick. I knew he was in good hands with his parents and his older brother but we missed him so much and I know we all wish we could've done something to prevent him from getting assaulted like that.

"Has anyone seen Pegas?"

My head shot up at the sound of Professor McGonagall entering the library where Seth Melba and I sat and studied.

"There you are." She said sternly. "Dumbledore wants to see you in his office."

I sighed and ran my hands over my face before I nodded at her. I closed my textbook and pushed it over to Seth so he could hold it until I got back.

I followed McGonagall out of the library. She walked in silence so I walked in silence. Even though it was kinda awkward.

When we entered the office, my eyebrows furrowed at the familiar guy standing in the room.

_Matteo._

"Sit down miss Pegas." Dumbledore greeted. McGonagall left again after I sat down by Dumbledore's desk. "You must be wondering why you're here."

_Yeah no shit._

"The question may have crossed my mind."

"I will leave you and your brother to talk." Dumbledore continued and nodded at the both of us before he left the office.

I sighed and leaned back, running my hands up over my face and into my hair. I closed my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose before I looked at him.

"I said I didn't want to have a relationship to you." I said. "Why're you here? I've got more important stuff to do than worry about some long lost brother who now apparently won't leave me alone."

"I've filed for custody of you." He blurted. It took me a second to process his words, but then my eyes widened and I let out a sarcastic laugh. "With dad having a history of violence as with him hitting you and kicking you out and with mum's record of leaving you, I have a good shot of being granted custody rights."

I stood up quickly, staring at him with a look that could kill.

"I told you to leave." I said. "And you took that as an invitation to file for custody?"

"You need a legal guardian whom you're safe with." He said. "You're still seventeen and you won't be eighteen for another five months. I've got a well-paying job and a flat with room enough."

"I don't need your help!" I exclaimed. "You don't even know me! _I_ don't even know _you!"_

He sighed and slowly folded his arms over his chest.

"You don't trust new people—" he stated. "I see that and I understand it. I'm not doing this because I want to control your life or anything. I'm doing this because I remember you as a baby. I remember mum coming home from the hospital with my new little sister and I remember loving you. I was five years old when we left but I've never stopped thinking about you. When I was asked about my siblings, I'd always say I had two — that was until Eleanor was born, then I'd say I had three. You don't remember me because you were a newborn but I remember you and now that I look at you, I can see the resemblance. You look like me but you also look a lot like little Eleanor."

My eyes were glossy at this point and he was blurry as I looked at him through the tears. I hated all the sentimental crap. It always made me cry.

I slowly sat down again and fidgeted with the hem of my skirt. Matteo walked over and sat down next to me while he exhaled deeply.

"You won't even have to stay with me after Hogwarts." He told me. "I'd just like it if I knew you had someone you could come to. Someone who has never _lost_ your trust. Sure, I'll have to work on getting you to trust me because you don't know me yet."

Silence.

"I heard you tell your friend Nate about a state you've been in." He spoke. "Depression? Anxiety?"

I shrugged.

"I've always struggled with mental health." I told him softly, avoiding eye contact with him. "But it got better after I met my ex-boyfriend."

Matteo nodded slowly.

"It runs in the family." He informed me. "Mum's had depression, I've had it and Ezra has experienced symptoms of it lately. I know what it feels like to struggle with mental health and with self-esteem. I'm glad to hear you had someone who helped you get better."

I wiped away the tears that had now found their way down my cheeks.

"We're not together anymore." I said. My voice was suddenly weak and I sounded like I was about to completely break into tears.

"Can I ask you what happened?"

"It's complicated." I shrugged. I wasn't lying. It was extremely complicated and I didn't know how to explain it. "I just— I don't really trust him anymore."

I looked at Matteo for a moment but immediately looked away when I recognized myself in him.

"Fine." I sighed. "If you want custody, I guess I won't stop you."


	73. Chapter 73

As I went to close the door to my dormitory, a hand slammed against it on the other side, making my heart skip a beat.

I stepped back and the door was pushed fully open by a very angry-looking Fred. He took one step inside, his eyes glued to me while he pushed the door closed behind him with his foot.

"You kissed George."

My eyes widened at his words and I felt my throat hitch in my throat. How he knew, I had no idea of because George would never tell him. He'd be too scared to get killed.

"Of course I didn't kiss George."

_Why aw you lying?_

"It wasn't a question!" He snapped. "You fucking kissed George."

_Alright who let him into the Hufflepuff basement?_

"You are supposed to be the good one here." He told me. "It was supposed to be my fault for ruining our relationship but maybe you don't _want_ to take me back because you want my fucking brother!"

He was kinda scaring me. He was speaking very loudly in a tone I had never heard come from him. I took a step back but he only took one towards me to keep the same amount of distance.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked, trying to keep my voice calm. "I was supposed to be the good one? There is no good ones, Fred."

"No, I can see that now." He nodded. "Who the fuck kisses their ex boyfriend's brother?!"

The guilt was worse not than ever. Especially because I had no explanation. I didn't know how George and I had gone from talking to making out so quickly.

"How did you find out?" I asked, folding my arms over my chest.

"How did I— that's what you want to focus on?!" He yelled.

"What else do you want me to say?!" I yelled back. "I did it, it happened. I kissed George and George kissed me but I don't have an explanation so if you're looking for one, you're wasting your time."

Fred raised his arms and ran his hands into his hair, tugging at it as he look up at the ceiling and shook his head in disbelief.

"Do you just have a thing for Weasleys?" He asked and looked at me again. "Who's next? Gonna kiss Bill? Charlie? Fucking Percy? What is it that turns you on, huh? The red hair? The freckles—"

I started tearing up at the way he spoke to me. I stepped back again but this time he didn't step towards me.

"... are you just gonna throw yourself at every single one of us until there's none left?!" He yelled. "Go ahead! Be my guest!"

_Is he calling me a slut?_

"Fuck you!" I spat through the tears. "You have no right talking to me like that! I'm not the only one who's done some fucked up things!"

"I was drugged!" He defended himself. "I didn't sleep with her because I wanted to. I slept with her because I wasn't given a choice!"

"I know!"

"Then why don't you want to be with me?!"

I didn't respond. A sob came from my mouth and I turned my back to him. I ran a hand over my face, wiping the tears. I don't know why because it didn't help. I was still actively crying.

I had been crying so much lately. Every time something happened, I'd cry. Though can you blame me? So many things had happened this school year and I was mentally and physically drained.

"Why don't you—" I heard Fred sob and I closed my eyes, hating that he was upset too. "... why don't you want me?"

"Fred." I cried softly. _"Please..."_

"Do you love George?" He asked, his voice full of sorrow. "Is that why? You kissed him and now you don't want me even though you know I couldn't control it."

It was almost like I could feel my heart shattering at the sound of his fragile voice.

"I don't love George." I told him and turned around to look at him again. "Not like that. I don't know what that kiss was or what it meant but I have _never_ loved _anyone_ like I love you. I just can't keep doing this."

"Doing what?"

"We've broken up _twice,_ Fred. Both of the times were because of her. She's not going to stop. She's going to keep getting between us with one of her tricks." I said. "She drugged you and I hate that _that_ happened to you. I just— she's not going to stop until she has you and until I'm completely broken and that's already happening. I am breaking every time one of these things happen."

Fred sighed and rubbed his eyes before he looked at me again through his blood-shot eyes.

"You're not broken."

"I'm not?" I laughed. "Because I keep crying all the time. You cheated, then we got back together. My dad hit me, I learned that my mum didn't want me. I also discovered that I've got brothers. You cheated again, then my brothers showed up because Angelina decided to meddle in my life. _Then_ I found out you had been drugged which means that she raped you. That wasn't enough— no, then my best friend _was_ raped because he's gay and now my brother wants custody of me and I don't really have a say because I'm seventeen and need some kind of guardian until I turn eighteen!"

I took a deep breath.

"The last thing I need right now is having you show up at my dorm and accuse me of being a slut."

"I did _not_ call you a slut."

"No." I shrugged. "You just insinuated it — insinuating that I'll throw myself at your brothers because I just have a thing for gingers? You're a fucking idiot."

Fred opened his arms, then let them fall down against his sides.

"Tell me something I don't know." He said with a sigh. "I didn't fucking mean to insinuate that you're a slut. You're not."

"Oh well now I feel so much better." I gasped sarcastically. "Can you just— leave. I'm sorry I kissed your brother but just leave. It won't happen again."

Instead of respond, he suddenly took some big steps, causing me to back up until I hit the wall. He grasped my jaw and connected our lips, kissing me eagerly.

My hands pressed to his chest but I kissed him back. Not because I wanted to but because my body didn't seem to stop it. The spark was still there which made it feel as amazing as always.

When he pulled away after several seconds, I was panting and he was too a little bit. He stared down at me, then turned around and walked out of my dormitory.


	74. Chapter 74

"Why are you so fucking bipolar!" I yelled after Fred as soon as he walked through the door. "One minute you are screaming at me, slut-shaming me, and the next you are kissing me!"

He turned around to look at me.

"I didn't slut-shame you."

"Saying I'll throw myself at all of your brothers is basically slut-shaming." I told him. "Why can't you let me breathe? I _do_ want you but it's not going to happen."

He sighed and stepped into the room again, gently closing the door. I sat down on my bed and he slowly walked over to sit next to me.

"Why not?" He asked softly. "Why can't we just try and be happy for once?"

"We _are_ happy." I breathed. "We always are at first. Then Johnson gets in the way, something happens and you proceed to be her girlfriend or her friend afterwards. And we don't communicate. We argue. That's what we do. That's our thing and it's not healthy."

Fred went to place his hand on my thigh but I moved away and pulled my legs up to cross them.

"Fuck." He cursed. "I know— I just want you. I don't care about the toxicity... as long as I have _you."_

I so wanted to just say ' _fuck it'_ and get back together with him but the way it went wrong the other times, scared me and what scared me even more was knowing that because I took him back the last time, he got drugged and Angelina raped him. That was on me. If I hadn't taken him back, it wouldn't have happened.

He didn't seem to be affected by it. He just seemed pissed about what she did but he didn't seem affected.

Maybe he was keeping it in, or maybe he simply didn't feel affected by it.

"It's not a good idea." I said and looked at him. I knew he had anger problems and he had a hard time knowing when things had reached their boundaries. Both with prank but also with the things he said. Sometimes he said things he regretted right away because he speaks before he thinks. I also know that if he worked hard on it, he would get better and we would learn to have a healthy relationship.

Just like I needed to trust and needed to learn to not keep things to myself like I first did when I found my mum's diary.

"Why not?" Fred asked. "Why can't we just love each other? I'll stop hanging around Angelina. We'll graduate in five months and then we never have to see her again."

The part of never seeing Angelina again sounded nice. But getting back together with Fred for the second time? All of this had happened within four months. All the things that had happened, had happened so quickly.

"I need some time." I told him. "I can't just rush into it again like the last time."

"Okay." He whispered. He got off the bed and ran his hands down his jumper to straighten it out, then he turned and placed a hand on the frame of my four-poster bed. "I'm really sorry about everything I've done to hurt you."

I sighed.

"I'm sorry I kissed your brother."

He simply nodded in response and when I looked up at him, he looked away.

"Just don't— please don't do it again."

"I regretted it as soon as it happened." I told him honestly. How was I ever going to tell him that I once gave his brother a blowjob and that his brother gave me an orgasm with his mouth when we were only fourteen.

_Fourteen..._

If I ever find out my future kids do stuff like that at fourteen, I'll murder them. May sound hypocritical but I regret doing it.

"I'll—" he inhaled sharply, making it look like it hurt to breath. "I'll see you later. Talk to me when you've figured it out?"

He looked at me and I nodded faintly before he pushed himself away from the bed and left the room for the second time within half an hour.

As he left, Callie entered, and when she saw me sit on my bed, she walked over to sit next to me.

"What was that about?"

"A lot of things, really." I shrugged. "He wants me to consider getting back together."

"What?" Callie frowned. _"Are_ you considering it?"

I shrugged and turned my body on the bed so I could lean back against one of the posters.

"I mean, I love him, right?"

"You're— _asking_ me if you love him?"

I groaned out of frustration and smacked my hand against my forehead.

"Is it really love if you have to ask me about it?" She asked. I flicked her off, causing her to chuckle. "People tend to say that love is about sacrifices. Do you know what _I_ think love is about?"

"What?"

"Security." She said with a smile. "I mean, it _is_ about sacrifices as well but for me, security means everything."

_I felt secure with Fred._

"But also about respect." She sighed. "You have to respect each other, respect boundaries and respect that you're committed to one another and no one else."

_Well..._

"It's about growing together." She continued. "Love is also accepting each other's flaws. It's patience and it makes you feel addicted."

Again, I started crying and as soon as the tears streamed down my cheeks again, I let out a groan through the sob that made it way up through my throat.

"Oh c'mon." I sobbed. "How am I supposed to know if I still love him when you say shit like that?"

Callie smiled at me. She simply smiled as if she knew something I didn't. I loved that she was the one who came in here right when Fred left. If I told Melba or Seth that I was considering taking Fred back, they'd both yell at me.

Callie is more supportive and calm and so is Nate and I knew if Nick was here, he'd hug me and tell me to follow my heart.

"Do you think about him a lot?" Callie asked, tilting her head.

"I try not to." I sobbed, wiping my cheeks. "Because it hurts. Love is not supposed to hurt, is it?"

"I can't say." She shrugged. "Do you get emotionally triggered by everything?"

_Is she not looking at me right now?_

"Seriously?" I cried. "This is the fourth time I've cried today."

"Alright then." She chuckled. "You just answered my next question before, actually. It hurts to think about him."

I nodded slowly, folding my arms over my chest. Was this some kind of quiz or something?

"Have you been fantasising about getting back together?" She asked me.

"Uh— I wondered if we could make it work." I shrugged. "Tried to imagine what it would be like without Johnson getting in our way."

Callie's smile grew a little, causing me to frown. "I think you love him. I also think you should give him a third chance. Though if you believe he's going to cheat again, don't go near him."

I took a deep breath, shaking my head.

"Angelina drugged him with Amortentia." I said. "He didn't cheat. She—"

"She raped him?!" Callie raised her voice. "Oh, I should've hexed her. I should've done something so bad to her that I'd end up in Azkaban! I _will_ murder her for raping Fred. I will fucking—"

"Callie." I interrupted her. "Don't worry. Karma will hit her. Especially when I make Fred tell his mum. She's gonna make sure Fred gets justice for what happened."

I still didn't know if I'd take Fred back but that didn't mean I wasn't enraged about what Angelina did to him. Didn't matter if he's hurt by it or not, she still raped him and she won't get away with it.


	75. Chapter 75

I received a letter from Matteo one Saturday morning. I sat in the owlery, opening it with the feeling of nervous rushing through my veins. I didn't know why I felt nervous.

I guess I didn't know what it could be. Maybe he had changed his mind. Maybe he no longer wanted to be my guardian.

I know I wasn't very happy when he first told me about it, but now I was actually feeling kind of excited. I had never had anyone who genuinely _wanted_ me. Not anyone who was related to me. I had my friends and I was grateful for that, but they _had_ their families and they were cared for which I had never felt.

Matteo seemed to care. He remembered me as a baby and he cared for me. It felt nice to know that he did so yeah, I was excited for him to be my guardian.

I sat with the envelope in my hands that were shaking a little bit. I tried to gather the courage to open it and read it.

Suddenly the door to the owlery opened and my head snapped up to look at Fred who was staring right at me, struggling to decide whether to fully enter or leave again.

"Are you— okay?" He asked. I simply nodded before I looked down at the envelope again.

"I mean— maybe." I shrugged. "This is from my brother. I don't know how to open it."

Fred stepped inside and slowly closed the door behind him. I heard his shoes against the floor as he approached me and I glanced at him when he sat down next to me.

"He has filed for custody of me." I told him, rubbing my chin with my hand. "And I don't know if I can open this. What if he's changed his mind?"

"About getting custody?" he asked. "Why do you think he's changed his mind?"

I shrugged in response and looked at him. "My dad showed me he doesn't really care about me. What he cares about is control. And my mother left me, said in her diary she didn't have a choice but then I found out that she did have a choice, she just decided to continue without me."

"Alright—" Fred breathed. "You've been unlucky with some people in your life, but just because your parents hasn't been there to show you the love you deserve, doesn't mean your brother will be the same."

_Damn, why do you gotta tell the truth like that?_

"I actually felt really loved when he talked to me in Dumbledore's office." I explained. "I felt more loved during that conversation than I've done by my dad my entire life."

Fred wrapped his arm around me and I laid my head against his shoulder while wrapping my arm around his stomach.

"You are loved by a lot of people." He told me. "I wish one of them could've been your parents. I mean — I am sure both of your parents love you, your dad just doesn't know how to show it and your mum may believe her excuse for leaving is okay, though it's not. What I'm trying to say is that you need to stop being so hard on yourself. I know it's hard but try and listen to your logical thinking instead of your emotional one. Not everyone you'll meet in your life is going to leave you."

I let out a sigh against his shoulder before I moved my face up to the skin of his neck, planting a kiss.

"I love you." I whispered, and meant it. I know we weren't currently together and we were going through some shit with the relationship we did have, but I felt like I had to let him know that I _do_ still love him.

"You do?"

"Yeah." I breathed. "I really do."

I planted another kiss against his neck, causing him to close his eyes while he let out a breathy moan.

I laid my head back against his shoulder and he moved his other arm around me as well to hold me.

"I love you too." He whispered against my head and pressed a kiss to my temple. "You know that, right?"

_Maybe._

"Yes."

I kicked a leg over his body, straddling his waist while both of my arms went around his back as my head laid against his chest. Fred tightened his arms around me and I felt him press another kiss to my temple.

"Are you gonna open the letter from your brother?" He asked. "Maybe it's important."

I sat up straight and looked down at the envelope I was still holding in my hand.

"Okay—" I breathed. I slowly opened the envelope, glancing up at Fred's face from time to time.

I pulled the piece of part home to from the envelope and unfolded it. The letter didn't say much but once I finished reading it, I let out a breath of relief and looked at Fred with a small smile.

"He hasn't changed his mind." I told him. "But the hearing is already in two weeks. He's gonna write Dumbledore about it so I can be allowed to attend."

"See." Fred smiled. "Your brother's not planning on giving up on you."

He brushed his fingers through the front of m hair before running them down my face until he rested his hand against the side of my neck.

"Neither am I, by the way." He told me. His hand moved to gently grab around my throat, his eyes locking with mine. My lips parted as my hand grabbed around his wrist but I didn't try to force his hand away. I rocked my hips against his, earning a groan from him.

My fist closed around his shirt and I lowered myself down, pressing a soft and longing kiss to his lips.

"I had a talk with Angelina this morning." He whispered against me, causing me to pull away quickly.

_He's a fucking professional at ruining the moment._

"You've got to be kidding me." I breathed but when I went to get up, Fred grabbed a hold of my shirt and pulled me straight back down against him.

" _Not_ a friendly chat." He told me. He had his eyebrows raised at me and kept a hold of my shirt while he grasped my jaw with his other hand to pull me back to his lips, kissing me harshly. "I'm done with her, alright? We made a deal."

I frowned at him but I stayed quiet as he slowly let go of my shirt and instead ran his hand up and under the material of it, resting against my burning hot skin.

"I won't press charges against her and I won't tell my mum what she did." He said. "And in return she'll leave me alone and she'll leave _you_ alone. No more Angelina."

"Fred—" I sighed. "That's a fucking dumb deal!"

"Huh?"

"She can't just get away with drugging you into having sex with you." I told him. "She needs punishment. She needs a sentence. She needs time in Azkaban."

Fred dug his nails slightly into my skin, causing me to raise my hips in response while I cursed slightly under my breath. The idiot simply smirked at my reaction.

"I don't care." He shrugged. "I just want to be able to be with you and not worry about her trying to ruin it, and now she won't because she knows that if she do, I'll go straight to my mum about it and mum'll make sure she gets what she deserves."

I sighed and pouted at him before I once again rocked my hips against him. Fred let out a heavy breath and threw his head back against the wall while his eyes screwed shut.

"Babe, not here, yeah?" He opened his eyes again and they met mine. "Not in front of the owls."


	76. Chapter 76

I had my legs wrapped around Fred's waist, his erection pressing against my underwear as he pressed me up against the wall of my dormitory. His lips were leaving my mouth to suck on my neck while I reached for my wand that I had placed on the dresser.

 _"Colloportus."_ I breathed, pointing at the door, and the sound of the door locking filled the room before I continued with the second spell. _"Muffliato."_

I then pointed my wand at the drawer in my nightstand, and a moan slipped from my lips when Fred lapped his tongue against the skin of my pulse point.

 _"Aberto."_ I whispered, watching the drawer pull open. "Accio condom."

Fred laughed against my skin and I could feel the vibrations run through me. Meanwhile a condom from the drawer came flying towards me and I caught it with the hand I held the wand with.

"You're a sneaky one." He said and pulled his head back to look at my face. "When did you start having condoms in your drawer?"

I shrugged and placed my wand on the dresser before I wrapped my arm around his neck and pulled him in for a soft and lingering kiss.

"Since the last time we got back together." I told him in a whisper against his lips. "This one is lubricated with ribs in it to increase the pleasure."

I wiggled my eyebrows at him, making him laugh again before he once again captured my lips with his. He placed his hands in mine against the wall and took the condom for me, temporarily placing it on the dresser.

"Fuck." I cursed when he thrusted his hips against mine, causing friction between my heat and his bulge. "Merlin, Freddie if you keep doing that, I'm gonna cum before you get _inside."_

"Yeah?" He grinned and slid his hand down between my legs, running his fingers over my underwear, causing my legs to tighten around him when he brushed against my bundle of nerves. "Maybe I'm trying to make you cum at _least_ twice."

"Trying you might." I told him, grabbing his jaw in my hand to tilt his head back so I could look directly into his eyes. "But succeeding? I mean— you're good but you need to be _great_ to do _that."_

Fred raised his eyebrows to challenge me and when my lips formed into a wicked smile, he dug his nails into the flesh of my bum, making me hiss in response. I closed my eyes and felt Fred plant a kiss against my shoulder before putting my legs back down.

"That's how you wanna play?" He asked in a calm and chilling voice. I kept smiling as he pressed himself against me while I stood against the wall. His hands found the hem of my shirt and I lifted my arms to allow him to pull it off.

He pulled his own shirt off, then let his eyes linger on mine before slowly moving them down my body as he lowered himself onto his knees. Knowing what was about to happen, I threw my head back against the wall, breathing heavily while my eyes focused on the ceiling. I felt Fred's cool hands creep under my skirt and grab a hold of my knickers, moving them down my legs. I stepped out of them and he threw them aside.

I looked down at him when his hands crept back up my thighs and continued up under the waistband of my skirt, running them over the skin of my hips.

"So you don't think I can make you cum twice?" he asked with a cocked eyebrow. "Are you still holding onto that statement?"

I simply shrugged as I smiled smugly at him. In response he hummed softly, grabbing onto the back of my thigh to lift my leg over his shoulder. I watched as his head disappeared under my skirt and the moment his mouth attacked my heat, I threw my head back with a breathy moan escaping from my mouth.

"Oh shit." I cursed as he flattened his tongue against my clit, causing my knees to buckle. Fred grabbed onto my thighs, keeping me standing. I grabbed onto his shoulders in a way to keep myself steady which was hard at the pace he was going at down there.

_Fucking bitch._

His tongue ran through my folds, collecting the arousal that he was the cause of. He hummed in approval, sending vibrations through me and up to my clit. I squeezed my eyes shut, digging my nails into his shoulders while I pressed my chin to my chest and pathetically moaned into the room.

We had gone so long without each other, and I had gone a while without an orgasm, so this time it felt more intense. The feelings that flooded through my body, overwhelmed me and the only sound that filled the room was the sound of my moans.

"Oh my–" his tongue flicked over my clit before he sucked it into his mouth, and once again, I felt my knees buckle underneath me. "... _fuck."_

I rocked my hips against his mouth but while his right hand stayed on my thigh, his left moved up to rest against my abdomen, pinning me against the wall, but it only made me whine as it killed me that he wanted me to stay still.

My orgasm was slowly building up, forming a knot in my lower abdomen. I tilted my head back against the floor, my eyes closed and my mouth open as moans and whimpers kept coming from it.

Fred nipped at my clit and that was exactly what I needed to be pushed over the edge. Again, I rocked my hips against his face while one long and suffocated moan rushed up my throat and out of my mouth. My eyes rolled back into my skull and Fred kept eating me out, helping me through my orgasm.

"Oh–" I panted afterwards while Fred stood back up, licking his lips while watching me in amusement. _Cheeky bugger._

"One down." he smirked and pressed a soft kiss to my lips, his tongue meeting mine for just a split second, giving me a taste of myself. _"One to go."_

He brushed some hair behind my ear before he pressed his hand to my jaw, keeping his lips hovering over mine.

"Undo my belt." he whispered, his hot breath mixing with mine. My eyes flickered from his lips to his eyes and without objecting, my hands found their way to his belt, unbuckling it. "And my trousers."

_So demanding._

I undid the one button in his trousers, then pulled down the zipper, my eyes never leaving his as his scanned my face. When I went to pull his trousers down, he placed his hands on mine, and helped me do so, though he had hooked his fingers into his briefs too, making them slide down at the same time, and his erection sprung free.

He was rock hard, needing me as much as I needed him – but I didn't know what was was more important right now. That I wanted him or that I needed him.

Fred grabbed the foil package from the dresser, and held it up between us with a small smirk. "Do you wanna do the honour or shall I?"

"It's an honour, is it?" I decided to tease him. "But oh well, if you think that highly of yourself, let me do it."

He rolled his eyes at me and I took the foil package from him, ripping it open before taking out the condom. Fred looked at it with a frown, then looked at me.

"Why is the condom pink?"

"Oh, it comes in all colours and sizes." I told him. "Tastes too. Isn't it wonderful what Muggles are capable of?"

Fred laughed at my question but his laugh turned into a groan when I rolled the condom onto his length. He let his head rest against my shoulder for a moment and when I let go of him again, he looked at me.

"You sure are sensitive." I smirked, running my hand up and threading my fingers into his hair. "Looked like it hurt."

"Oh yeah?" he questioned before his fingers found my deep, diving two of them right in, making me hiss at the surprise of it, and at the same time, he rubbed his thumb against my very sensitive clit.

_"Shit."_

"I'm sensitive?" he laughed, pulling out his fingers to suck them clean. "You humour me, my love."

He wrapped his hands around the back of my thighs and lifted me up suddenly, causing me to shriek, but then chuckle as he put me on the dresser. I went to say something in response to his words, but Fred thrusted right into me in one sharp motion and all the air got sucked from my lungs as I threw my head back.

Fred cursed under his breath, one hand resting against my waist to help him as he started thrusting in a steady pace. The other hand grasped my jaw in his to force me to look at him before he pressed his lips to mine in a sloppy and open-mouthed kiss. It wasn't very romantic but neither of us cared as all we wanted was the closeness of the situation.

We moaned into each other's mouths, my hands founding their way into his hair to pull at it. I knew that was a big turn on for him and he only confirmed it when it made him grunt in response.

Fred's hands moved down to under my thighs and dug his nails into my skin while he pulled me closer to the edge of the dresser, now completely plunging into me, hitting as deep as he could, also hitting my G-Spot. My legs shook in response of the first time he hit it but as he continued to brush over it with his tip, my legs got used to it an stopped shaking. Though it kept being as pleasurable, making me a moaning mess while the kiss with Fred only got sloppier.

His thrusting got faster and when I felt like he couldn't hit any deeper inside of me, he did.

_What's next? Is he gonna hit my fucking cervix?_

The pleasure was getting so intense that I felt like I could burst into tears at any moment. Fred's mouth left mine and he hid in his face in the crook of my neck. I threw my head back, my left hand running back into his hair while my right hand rested against his shoulder blade, my nails digging into his skin, dragging downwards.

My hand then left his back to grab the edge of the dresser, trying to keep myself steady as Fred's thrusting pace caused my body to rock the dresser from side to side, making it creak.

_Is this a good time to mention that the dresser is Melba's?_

"Oh my god." I moaned when the familiar knot formed in my lower abdomen for the second time. I threw my head back, staring up at the ceiling with my lips parted, but then I closed them to focus on the feeling. "I'm gonna– Fred, I'm gonna–"

He shushed me gently and I felt the warm breath against my neck before he sucked my skin in-between his teeth. His nails dug further into the skin of my thighs, the pain mixing with the please.

"I know, darling." he whispered. "Be a good girl and cum for me."

_Oh shit._

"Oh fu– don't say shit like that." I breathed. "I can't fucking–"

I cried into the room, biting down on my hand when we came at the same time. My walls clenched around him and at the same time I felt him twitch inside of me as he spilled into the condom. He bit down on my shoulder, suffocating the sounds that wanted to leave his mouths.

We stayed like that for a moment, him still inside of me, his face hidden in my shoulder. We were both sweaty and both a panting mess. My eyes were closed and I knew thats so was his.

Fred recovered quicker than I did. He pulled out and rolled off the condom, using a spell to delete it from existing. Meanwhile I sat on the dresser, my legs hanging over the edge and my hands gripping the edges tightly with my head hanging low and my eyes still closed.

"You okay?" I heard Fred's voice while I heard the sound of his trousers and then his belt. Afterwards I felt him move in-between my legs, his hands running to the back of my thighs to soothe where he had obviously left marks from his nails. "Need me to do anything?"

"If you could–" I gulped and opened my eyes to look at him. He was wearing his trousers with the belt in but his shirt was still on the floor. He had fucked me in only my skirt and my bra. "... just be quiet for a moment."

Fred laughed softly and moved his hands from my thighs to my arms. He ran them up over my shoulders and up to rest against the side of my neck. He leaned in and planted a kiss right under my jaw, then nudged hiss nose against my cheek.

"Think you can walk." he asked and grabbed my hands. I didn't respond. I let go of one of his hands to grab his shoulder as he wrapped his free arm around my waist and helped me down. As soon as my feet hit the world, I hissed at the pain that shot up the lower part of my body and my knees gave in, though Fred held me up with his arm staying around my waist. "I'll take that as a no."

He helped me get the rest of my clothes on, before I decided I should probably take a shower after that. Once I got my stuff to bring to the prefect bathroom, Fred removed the spells from the door and then opened it. I didn't hear him walk so I expected that he was waiting for me. I grabbed my small bag of toiletries and turned around, but froze.

Seth and Nate were both standing right outside of the door to the dormitories, leaning against the doorframe on either side of the door.

_Fuck._


	77. Chapter 77

"Are you serious?"

I looked at Seth, smiling awkwardly while I scratched the back of my neck. Nate was sending me a wink along with a thumbs up which made Seth roll his eyes as he shoved him.

"One of your brothers are here, by the way." Seth told me and glanced at Fred before he turned around and walked away.

"He's a bit grumpy." Nate said, nodding slowly as he kept looking from Fred to me. Fred let out a heavy breath before he looked back at me. He then widened his eyes at me for a moment and grinned as he followed after Seth.

_Wait..._

_One of my brothers are here?_

I walked out into the common room and froze when I saw Ezra stand by the fireplace, looking up at the painting of Helga Hufflepuff. He was wearing casual clothing again, just like the last time I saw him. Black sweatpants and a white hoodie, then plain white sneakers.

"Why do you keep showing up here?" I asked, causing him to look at me. "First Matteo and now you. This isn't camp. It's a school."

"Dumbledore let me visit." he told me before he eyed me up and down, then looked to Fred who showed up behind me. I followed Ezra's gaze and noticed that Fred's hair was messy while a hickey on his neck was showing from when I sucked on his skin in the owlery just before we left to come and shag here.

"Weasley." Ezra greeted. "Nice seeing you again... coming out from my sisters dorm."

He knows Fred? I mean, I knew Fred told me he knew who my brothers were but I didn't know they actually knew each other.

"Yeah, uh–" Fred laughed nervously and scratched the back of his neck, then he saw the way I looked at him. "... both him and Matteo has given me detention in the past."

I frowned, then looked at Ezra.

"You were head boy?"

"No. I was a prefect." he told me. "Matteo was head boy in his seventh year. Weird how you didn't recognise us when we showed up here."

Well, I don't exactly remember much from my second year when Matteo was in his last year, and I certainly don't remember Ezra from my fifth year for some reason.

"I don't remember you." I told him. _"At all."_

"You don't?" he questioned. "Not even the time I was on patrol at night and caught you make your way to the kitchen for some food? The only reason I let you off easy was because I knew you were my sister."

_What the fuck._

"I don't remember that." I said. "Not even one bit of it. I never– I don't sneak out. I've been a prefect since year five and now I'm a head girl. Plus, I've never been in the kitchen."

"Because I stopped you from going." he told me with a frown. "How do you not remember? That was two years ago."

I let out a deep sigh. I really didn't want to keep discussing this. I wanted to know why he was here and what he wanted.

"Are you here to tell me to drop it?" I asked. "To tell Matteo I don't want him to have custody?"

Ezra frowned and cracked his knuckles while slowly shaking his head.

"I don't know why you'd assume that." he said. "I'm not a bad person, Julie."

"No, but you had an attitude the last time I saw you." I explained. "I just assumed you didn't like me."

The youngest of my brothers let out a sigh and pushed his hands back into the pockets of his sweatpants. Him not liking me was definitely the first impression I got of him. That, and also being kinda rude, yet protective in some way.

"The thing I don't like, is change." he told me. "So yeah, I may not have reacted in a good way when we suddenly got a letter from that Johnson person, and Matteo then forced me to come along, but that doesn't mean I don't like you or that I don't want to be a brother to you."

I sent him a look before I turned to look at Fred. He took the hint and grasped my jaw, planting a kiss on my lips which quickly made us both freeze.

_Awkward._

"I'll just go." he said, looking at me and I hummed, nodding in agreement. He hurried out of the common room and I ran a few fingers over my lips, loving the feeling of being able to kiss him casually again. Though it was bad timing to do that right in front of one of my brothers whom I didn't even know.

"Matteo told me you and your boyfriend had broken up." was the first thing Ezra said. "So I'll take it that either that boyfriend was Weasley or you've got a new one."

"That's uh–" I cleared my throat and pointed towards the door where Fred had just left. "It's confusing, alright? I think we're back together. We still need to talk about it."

"Uh-huh." he nodded slowly. "Which one is he again? Fred or George? I was never able to tell them apart, especially because I once caught one of them in the corridors after curfew and he claimed to be his twin. I still don't remember which ended up being which."

"That's Fred." I told him. "The one I'm... _seeing?_ I don't know. Why're you here again?"

"Oh, right." he nodded slowly. "Well you see... mum found out about Matteo plans on filing for custody and they ended up having this huge fight. She'll be there at the hearing. Matteo couldn't come because he has work but he asked me to come here and warn you about it. Mum found out right after he sent the letter."

_For fuck sake._

"Then I'm not going."

Ezra sighed at my answer and closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Do you want Matteo to gain custody of you?" he asked and when I nodded, he did as well. "Right, well, then the only smart move is to show up. Listen, I'm not gonna stand here and tell you to ignore her or hate her because she's my mother too and I have a good relationship to her–"

_Thanks for rubbing it in._

"... but she's just going to be there, alright? You'll sit with Matteo anyway."

_And suddenly I'm no longer excited for the hearing._


	78. Chapter 78

"You know, you didn't have to send Ezra to the school." I told Matteo as we stood and waited to be let into the courtroom. He looked up from the papers in his hands an offered me a small smile.

"Why not?"

"He's an asshole." I said, folding my arms over my chest. "He's rude and he keeps having an attitude with me. He tells me he's got nothing against me but I hardly believe him."

My friends were here with me. Dumbledore allowed them to come with because they're the closest to a family I've had since I started Hogwarts. They were currently sitting inside of the court with the mother I'm about to see for the first time, and then Ezra and also my father.

I kept thinking about my mother and what she was feeling. She was seeing her violent ex-husband for the first time in almost eighteen years. Then I had to remind myself that I didn't care about my mother. She was the one who left me and I didn't owe her shit.

Matteo and I had met four times so far. The first being when he came to Hogwarts because of Angelina. The second time was when he came with the news that he wanted custody, the third was a few days ago to prepare for the hearing and the fourth time was now.

"I'm not trying to excuse Ezra's behaviour." Matteo told me. "I know he can be a little rude sometimes but he was two when mum left with us so he doesn't remember you and change is hard for you. This is a big change for all of us."

I scoffed.

"Yeah but you knew I existed." I said. "You knew where I was for all these years."

Matteo nodded slowly and sent me an apologetic look. I was mad at him, mad at all three for knowing where I was but never deciding to reach out. Though I was still staring to care for Matteo. He was being nice towards me and I knew he genuinely cared about me. He had a big heart, that I could tell. Plus, we were alike in many ways, both through our looks but also our personality.

"You can come in now." one of the people working here told us as he held the door open to the courtroom. I looked at Matteo and he gave my shoulder a little squeeze with a reassuring smile. Then he led the way into the courtroom and I pulled my sleeves down to cover my hands as I followed.

My heart was beating rapidly in my chest and my mouth was going dry while there was a certain lump in my throat. The first thing I noticed when we entered the courtroom, was an unfamiliar woman next to Ezra. She was so unfamiliar, yet so familiar.

She kinda looked like me. She looked young, though I knew she was forty-six. She definitely looked younger than her age. She had long black hair that wasn't longer than her waist. It was pushed behind her ears, showing off hoops for earrings. Her eyes were visible dark brown, almost black and her skin was a little tan but it looked like it came from vacation instead of it just being her skin tone. Her lips were full and looked like mine but hers were glossy and shiny from lipgloss. Her eyelids were a light brown from eyeshadow and her lashes were longer due to mascara.

_My mum was beautiful._

Next to her sat a man who looked to be around his forties. His hair was blonde but his eyes were almost as dark as my mums. His beard was blonde as well, though a bit darker than his hair. He was dressed formal, they both were.

Mum was wearing a navy blue dress and he was wearing a matching suit. That was the new husband. The same husband that adopted my brothers, the same husband who they call dad. 

_The same husband that could've been my father instead of the one I grew up around._

Their daughter were here too. She had black hair like our mother and her eyes were also dark brown. She had freckles like her father and I felt my stomach drop at the thought of my mum getting a new daughter years after she left me behind.

_It hurts._

My dad was in the court too, sitting a few rows back. He didn't care to dress up. He looked like someone who didn't want to be here. I gulped at the thought of all their eyes on me. Not my dad, he wasn't looking. He had his eyes fixed on some papers in his hands. It looked like work.

I quickly looked towards where four of my friends sat. Nate and Callie sat together on the first row while Melba and Seth sat on the second one. All four of them smiled comfortingly at me and Nate sent me a thumbs up to tell me it was going to be alright. I simply forced a smile back and turned my attention back on Matteo who opened the button on his tuxedo jacket before he sat down in one of the two chairs in the middle of the circular floor. I sat in the chair next to him, gripping the arms of the chair.

Matteo placed a hand on top of mine and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

_Shit I'm nervous._

I felt like I was gonna throw up or faint or something worse. I didn't know I was capable of feeling like this. I had never met my mum and she was in the very same room with her new husband and the daughter that replaced my existence.

"We're here today to discuss the custody case of Julie Evangeline Pegas." Minister Cornelius Fudge spoke. "We have decided to do it a little less formal in this case. That means no juries. I'll be the one to make the final decision."

_No jury?_

_Shit._

Maybe this was actually a good thing. I mean, the ministry helped my mother escape my father, meaning that they knew about the things that happened back then. Maybe they'd help me get away too, give Matteo custody.

"Mr Evergreen." Fudge said, looking at my oldest brother. "I want to start off by asking you why you have decided to file for custody for a younger sister that you didn't officially meet until not long ago."

Matteo stood up, buttoning the single button in his jacket before he cleared his throat.

"Minister– as you're aware, my mother was forced into a situation years ago when Julie was only two weeks old. You see, my father was beating up my mother which is noted in your records and you yourself helped her flee that life. My mother decided to leave behind her youngest child, thinking she was safe. It turns out that _that_ wasn't true. If you tell Julie, I'm sure she'll tell you that our father, Ted Pegas, struck her just before Christmas last year and he kicked her out of the house so she had to stay with a friend..."

I glanced towards my mother who was tearing up, glancing towards my father with her fingers covering her mouth. My father was finally paying attention but he was leaned back in his chair with his arms folded over his chest and an eyebrow raised to show he didn't want to be there. My eyes flicked back to my mother. Why was she crying?

_Don't act like you care about me._

"And why shouldn't I place custody back with your mother?" Fudge asked, suddenly earning my full attention as my eyes went wide.

"In all respect, minister, I don't think that would be a good idea." Matteo said. "Our mother left Julie behind once before. Julie wouldn't be able to trust her and she needs a person in her life that she can trust to not leave her again."

The minister looked at him for a minute before he looked at me.

"I'm going to ask you a few question, Miss Pegas. You can stay seated if you'd like." he said and Matteo sat back down, looking at me with a look to tell me it was alright. "I want you to explain to me the day your father hit you. Leading up to it and what happened after."

_Fuck._

"Okay–" I gulped. "Uh, well it really started when I found my mother's diary. It's one she wrote in before she left. My father has always told me that my mother was a muggle who left when she heard the truth. I didn't even know I had brothers. I found the diary and it revealed these things to me. It also revealed why she left but I still don't see why I had to stay behind. When I went home for Christmas, I confronted my dad about it but he got mad and acted like I owed him because he's the reason I had a home. He poured the ashes of my dog on the floor as some kind of punishment. I guess it's my own fault that he hit me, really. I got all up in his face and questioned him about it. He hit me, then threw me out, so I went to my friends Callie's home where her family and our other friends welcomed me. On Christmas morning, my dad showed up and made a scene, embarrassed me and so I went back home with him."

"And the same night she was gone!" my father had raised his voice from the seat where he sat, earning everyone's attention. I myself flinched at his voice and closed my eyes for a moment to gather my thoughts. "The girl ran away with her boyfriend. She's a whore, minister, _that's_ what my daughter is and you can't believe a word that comes out of her mouth."

I felt the tears press on as I heard him talk about me in that way. He wasn't a good day but he had never said stuff like that about me. I quickly wiped the tears that had run down my cheek. I had to stay strong. I was not gonna break into tears in court.

"Mr Pegas!" Fudge spoke firmly as he stood from his chair. "You will stay quiet in this court until I ask you to speak!"

My father didn't say anything, and the attention turned back to me.

"Are you okay?" Matteo asked. I simply nodded and looked up at Fudge who motioned for me to continue explaining.

"My boyfriend came to get me because he and my friends didn't want me staying under the same roof as the man who hurt me when he was supposed to care for me." I told him. "My dad has never loved me, nor will he ever. I learned how to cook when I was eight because half the week, he was too busy with work to feed me. I had to make myself dinner somehow to not go to bed hungry. There was good moments where it felt like he cared but then it went straight back to how it usually was."

"I'm the only one who ever cared for you, Julie!" my dad suddenly shouted again, but this time I simply looked straight ahead, waiting for him to shut up. "I fed you, stop telling lies. You are nothing but a little girl and you will never succeed in life. You're nothing but a little whore like your mother–"

My mother's husband stood up abruptly but she grabbed him and pulled him back down while holding her daughter close.

"...I should've removed that boy from your memories like I removed my sons!"

_What?_

"Mr Pegas!" Fudge shouted. "One more outburst and I will have you removed from this court!"

I looked towards my dad who got up and made his way towards the exit. When he left, I scrunched my face up to stop myself from crying.

_Why can't I have a dad who cares?_

"Mrs Evergreen." Fudge now spoke. "Stand up please. Talk to me about where you stand with your son wanting custody of your daughter."

I turned my head and looked at my mother who stood up and forced a small smile through the tears in her eyes.

"Minister, my son is only twenty-two, turns twenty-three in June. He's young, he has no idea what kind of responsibility he is taking on." she explained. "And my daughter, dear Julie–"

She looked at me and I quickly looked away.

"... I am sorry that I left you behind, sweetheart. It was easier to leave with two toddlers instead of two toddlers and a baby. If I had woken you up to take you with me, you would've cried and woken up your father. It would've been way too big of a risk. Though there hasn't been a day where I didn't think about you, where I didn't wish you were there with me. I so wanted to be able to watch you grow up, I wanted to be able to put you to bed in the evening and wake you up in the morning. Gosh, you've grown up to be a beautiful young lady. I'm sorry, darling."

I bounced my leg, gritting my teeth while I kept staring away from her and in the direction of my friends. I made eye contact with Seth. He was leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and his fingers covering his lips. His eyebrows were knitted together in a frown and he nodded slightly to assure me I was okay. I bit my lip, ignoring the tears that made my vision suddenly very blurry.

"Miss Pegas?" Fudge asked. "Do you have anything to say to your mother?"

I shook my head.

"I have nothing to say to her."

I heard my mother's sob as she turned towards Fudge.

"My daughter would be safest with me." she told him. "I know it's only for easter but it'll give us the opportunity to get to know each other again and I'm not a bad parent. I have two grown boys who can tell you that, plus a husband. We'd be able to provide a stable home, even when she finished Hogwarts in about four months. She already has a room at our house. I made sure to always have one for her in case I got to have her back."

_You didn't try._

"Minister, I just want the opportunity to have my daughter back." my mother said. "It would be better than if my oldest son took her. As I said before, he's still young and it's way too big of a responsibility."

"Thank you." Fudge nodded. "I think I've heard enough."


	79. Chapter 79

"Are you okay?" Matteo asked when we got back out in the waiting room. It was just him and I, the audience that their own waiting room so luckily I didn't have to be in the same room as my mother right now.

"He's gonna give her full custody, isn't he?" I asked. "He helped her once before. He's going to help her again."

"You don't know that." He said. "Neither of us does. Maybe he recognises that you shouldn't be with someone you can't trust."

I sat down in the sofa in the room and hid my face in my hands.

"But I meant— are you okay after what Ted said?"

I wiped my my teary eyes before I looked up at my older brother. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose before folding his arms.

"He called me a whore." I shrugged. "He's never said that before. I-I'm not a whore. I've only ever been with two people."

"No one thinks you _are_ one." He assured me. "Ted is just being Ted. He was the exact same back then."

"He's never talked to me like— _that."_ I said. Matteo watched me for a moment before he walked over to sit down next to me. "Matteo, what did he mean when he said he should've deleted my boyfriend from my mind like he deleted you and Ezra?"

Matteo turned his head and looked at me with a slight frown, then he sighed.

"Did he mess with my mind?" I asked. "Obliviate me?"

"I honestly don't know." He told me. "But there're specific things you _should_ remember from only two years ago, so the signs point to yes."

_Fucking Ted Pegas._

"The minister has made his decision." It suddenly came from one of the employees who had entered the waiting room. We both looked up at him as he walked out again, letting the door close.

_Fuck._   
_Fuck._   
_Fuck._

"Are you ready to go out there?" Matteo asked and looked at me. "I'm sure it'll go okay."

"I hope." I breathed. We stood up and he led the way out into the court. My mother was crying again, she looked _really_ upset and when I looked at my friends, Melba looked angry, glaring towards her.

What had happened in the audience's waiting room?

Matteo and I sat back in the chairs in the middle of the room, me with my arms folded and Matteo with his hands on his thighs. He looked formal in the way he sat while wearing that suit.

In this short period of time that I had known him and Ezra, I had learned they were very different just by the way they were dressing.

Matteo always looked cleaner, clean cut hair and nice smooth clothes. Ezra on the other hand looked a little less trimmed. His beard was showing at all times, his hair was messier and the two times I'd seen him, he wore sweatpants and a hoodie.

"I've made my decision." Fudge said as he stood up, looking down at Matteo and I. "I thought about it a lot and I've come to the decision that now that she knows where her mother is, that is where she should be. Therefore I grant Annie Evergreen full custody of Julie Evangeline Pegas until the day she turns eighteen years old."

Fudge banged his hammer against the table to call of the case before he stood up and got down to walk out of the room. Then the room went quiet.

_What?_

I stayed in the position I had sat in the entire time, my eyes focused straight ahead.

_He just..._

He gave my mother full custody. I didn't know what to do or how to react. I just... sat there.

"Julie, darling." My mum spoke, but I ignored her. Matteo grabbed my hand and held it in a comforting way.

I had just gotten used to the fact that I might've ended up staying with my brother during Easter and after Hogwarts, but now my mother had full custody. She had the right to make all the decisions she wanted about me, and I didn't trust her with that kind of power.

My mother stepped down onto the floor and I immediately stood up backing away. I didn't want her close to me. I didn't want her anywhere near me.

I looked at her and simply shook my head before I marched out of the courtroom, out through the waiting room and then I just continued through the ministry until the cold air outside hit my face.

"Jules?"

I jumped at the sound of Fred's voice, and when I turned to see him lean against the building, I completely broke into tears.

I didn't know what he was doing here, my guess would be that he snuck out of school to be here when it was finished, but I didn't care about his reason. I was just happy that he was here.

"She got full custody." I cried, covering my mouth with my hand before I threw my arms around his back and felt him hug me back as tightly as I was hugging him.

"Shit." He cursed, holding a hand at the back of my head before he planted a kiss on my head. "I'm sorry, love. I know you wanted your brother to get it."

_I hate this._

It felt nice being in Fred's arms. It felt nice having them wrapped around me and feeling the warmth radiate off his body. It wasn't long that we stood there before I heard the familiar voice.

"Julie."

I pulled away from Fred and turned around to see my mother leave the building on her own.

"Julie, I'm sorry my darling." She said and held out a hand, hoping for me to take it but I stepped back into Fred's chest, shaking my head.

"You need to leave me alone. I'm not your daughter and you are not my mother."

"I gave birth to you, I nurtured you—"

"For two weeks!" I raised my voice. "You had me for two _weeks_ and then you took your sons and you left!"

Now she was crying again, but so was I. The only difference was that I had a reason. Maybe she did too but I couldn't see it. I couldn't see how she was allowed to cry over this.

"I'm so sorry." She sobbed. "I thought I was doing the right thing."

"You left me with your violent husband!" I yelled. "How can a mother take a chance like that?!"

"I didn't have a choice—"

"You had every choice!" I now screamed, my voice echoing through the streets. I sounded broken, my voice was so fragile and full of sorrow. "You could've turned him in! He would've gotten time in Azkaban for domestic abuse and you could've taken me with you but you just moved on with your life and had a new daughter with your new perfect _fucking_ husband!"

Fred stood behind me, his hands rubbing my upper arms in a way to let me know he was there with me.

"You're not my mother." I cried. "I don't even know you. My entire life I've been wondering what it would like to have a mother. How it would feel like to have a parent who cared. I'd imagine what you looked like and how you were as a person and while I was daydreaming and fucking hurting, you were starting over and you were replacing me."

"You could never be replaced, Julie." She cried. "Come home with us. You can go back to Hogwarts tomorrow. We can talk about this. No one replaced you."

I just shook my head and grabbed onto Fred's arm to remind myself that he was right there.

"Don't contact me." I told my mum. "I'll be staying with a friend for Easter and I turn eighteen before I finish school. This is the last time you see me."


	80. Chapter 80

"How're you feeling?" Melba asked as we sat six people in an alleyway somewhere in London. Fred had bought me ice cream so I was eating that in silence. He had indeed snuck out of school, meaning he was gonna be in trouble when we got back.

I didn't want to go back. I just wanted Hogwarts over with so I could move on with my life and go somewhere my relatives couldn't find me.

If Matteo had never decided to file for custody, my mother wouldn't have been granted it. It would've been left alone and my dad would still have custody. Everything was fine how it was. I went to school, never saw my dad unless it was holidays. I would've spent Easter with one of my friends seeing as my father didn't care if I die, and then once I graduated, I would be eighteen and able to make my own decisions.

"I feel like I don't give a crap." I said with a shrug. "The only thing I care about right now is this ice cream."

"You've got an unhealthy obsession with ice cream." Fred said with a soft smile as he brushed my hair back with his fingers.

"It was the only thing that made me feel better when I was a child and my father didn't acknowledge my existence." I said. "When I felt alone in that big and silent house. Ice cream was my friend."

I frowned at my own words.

"That sounds really pathetic." I said and laughed, shaking my head. We all sat in silence, each of our heads heavy with everything that happened today. We had explained to Fred what happened in the trial and now even he's troubled by it. "You guys go back to Hogwarts. I'll go for a walk."

"A walk?" Nate asked. "In London? How're you gonna her back?"

"Dunno." I shrugged. "I need to be alone right now."

Seth sighed.

"We came here with Matteo. We're gonna need to find him."

"Go do that." I said. "Fred is staying though."

"I am?" Fred questioned as my four friends went to stand. I simply nodded. "You said you needed to be alone."

"I can't get back without your broom." I told him. "And I'm definitely not traveling with Matteo."

I said goodbye to my friends as they started making their way back to the ministry. Fred chuckled softly, wrapping an arm around me.

"So basically you're just using me?"

I hummed with a faint smile playing on my lips as I wrapped an arm around his back and rested my head against his shoulder.

"Maybe I also needed to be alone with you." I whispered. "... because you make me feel safe. Even if we've been through all that crap, you're still my safe place, and my home."

Fred brushed some hand out of my face, then cupped my face and tilted my head off his shoulder. He pressed his lips to my forehead, letting them linger there for a moment before I placed my head back onto his shoulder.

"You're my safe place too." He whispered, finding my hand before lacing his fingers with mine. "You'll be okay. You know that, right?"

I simply hummed, closing my eyes as I enjoyed the warmth from his body. We stayed like this for another moment until I got to my feet with a sigh.

"Walk with me?" I asked and held out a hand. Fred looked up at me, smiling softly before he let me help him up. I intertwined my fingers with his, leading the way out of the alleyway.

I looked down at our hands we walked. They swayed slightly between our bodies. Then I looked up at Fred. He was looking straight ahead, something obviously on his mind.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, giving his hand a squeeze. He looked down at me, frowning.

"I'm alright." He told me. "Don't you think I should be the one asking _you_ that? Everything you've been through in the last year. I-I wish there was something I could do to make it all better."

"You _are_ making it all better." I told him. "By being here. Just— don't ever leave, alright? Johnson won't mess with us anymore so nothing stands between us. Now it's on us to make it work and I know we both want it to."

Fred let go of my hand to wrap his arm around my neck, my other hand finding his over my shoulder.

"We'll make it work." He assured me. "No more toxicity. We need to learn how to communicate without fighting."

I nodded in agreement. We definitely needed to learn that. We sucked at it so far and I really wanted to be with him for the rest of my life, so if we could make our relationship function properly, that would be amazing.

"I know you haven't been able to get a break for a while now." Fred told me. "But three and a half more months and then you're eighteen and you can do what the hell you want and go wherever you want."

"As long as you're there." I smiled softly. "And Callie... and Melba, Seth, Nate... and Nick. Poor Nick. I can't believe someone would do that to him. He's Nick. He wouldn't hurt a fly and then someone decides to... it's disgusting. I can't start to imagine what he's going through. And we don't even know who did it. It was probably Pucey and then some girl."

"Why don't you—" Fred let out a breath as he shrugged. "Slip some veritaserum into his drink. They sell some of it in Hogsmeade. You just need to be discreet about it but make him tell the truth."

I stopped in my tracks and looked up at Fred who came to a halt as well. He looked back at me and in the next moment, I wrapped my arms around him, feeling him hug me back as I squeezed the life out of him.

"That's fucking genius!" I told him. "I don't know why I didn't think of that!"


	81. Chapter 81

** 2 months later **

"Honestly Nate, you look ridiculous." Callie said when Nate danced his way onto the train. He turned around and grinned as he extended his hand towards her, helping her onto the train before kissing her. "I can't believe I'm dating you."

"Believe it." Nate laughed. "You chose me. You chose to get with such a mad man."

"Man?" Callie laughing, leading the way towards a compartment as the rest of us got onto the train. "You are nothing but a little boy, Nathaniel."

I was walking behind the two with Seth right behind me and Melba at the back.

"If I'm a little boy, that makes you a predator." Nate said. Callie flicked him off in response and he simply laughed as the five of us entered an empty compartment. I threw my bag up on the luggage rack above one of the seats, before throwing my ass down next to the window.

I wasn't feeling very feel. I wasn't in the mood for any fun and I hadn't been for a while. The day after the trial was great. We celebrated Melba's eighteenths birthday but then two days after her birthday, I received a letter from my mother.

She told me she wants me to come home for Easter and spend it there with her and "our family" like she decided to put it, otherwise she would have to get the Ministry involved. Since she's got full custody, she makes the decisions until I'm eighteen in two months.

Then Fred told me that he and George decided to leave Hogwarts. They didn't want their exam, they just wanted to focus on their shop. They left a few days ago and I already missed Fred a lot.

I still haven't told him what happened between George and I when we were fourteen I know I need to tell him if we're gonna have a chance at actually having a healthy relationship. Fred is not gonna like it but it's not like I ever cheated on him, because we weren't together. I also have to talk to George about it first. He deserves to be warned about it so he can hide if that's what it comes to.

When I finished Hogwarts, I was going to travel the world. I was gonna visit different countries and just take break from it all. Though I was gonna be home from time to time to see Fred and my friends.

We just celebrated Callie. She turned eighteen on April 7th which is twenty days ago. Next is Nate in the start of May, then Nick at the end of May. Seth and I are the last to celebrate our birthdays. Mine is on the 12th of June and Seth's is on the 13th.

Since the trial, we had been trying to get Pucey to speak by slipping him some veritaserum but we never managed to get close enough. We may not have succeeded yet but we sure will because we simply have to find out who raped our Nick.

We were gonna visit Nick during Easter. The five of us were gonna write together and one of us would then write Nick to talk about a day we'd visit. I didn't know apparition but Seth and Nate did so one of those two would have to pick the rest of us up and bring us with them.

"Isn't it crazy?" Callie asked as she lied there in Nate's arms as he was playing with her blonde curls. "We're almost fully adults, out of school and into the world of careers."

_Don't remind me._

I'm scared of the future. We had a Quidditch match against Gryffindor in early March. Our team actually won even though Hannah Abbott had replaced Nick as our third chaser. There was some agents at the match and afterwards, one of them came to talk to me. He was the agent of the Scottish National Quidditch team and he wants me to be their new chaser as one of them quit. I have until I graduate to answer on whether or now I want the position.

I mean, I had hoped for the Scottish team so I can represent my own country but it's still professional Quidditch and apparently I'm good enough to join the national team. It's a good career and it's what I love, so I'm strongly considering it. It just scared me a little. Everything is about to change, and I really don't want that right now. Everything has been so odd this year. I want things to be stable for just a little while. Good thing is I have two more months to think about it and their agent even offered for me to come meet the team before I make my decision. He said he could write Dumbledore to give me a pass to take a day off school and come meet them. Maybe I'll take him up on that.

It's rare that a school student gets chosen for something like that. Usually I'd have to play on other teams and then eventually I might be offered the shot of playing on the National Team so I know it's a once-in-a-lifetime chance and that's why I _am_ strongly considering it.

My thoughts were interrupted and my body flinched a little at the sound of the train's whistle, followed by the carriages staring to move. I let my body melt into the seat as I rested my head against the wall, my eyes studying the nature outside as we slowly rode out of Hogsmeade, speeding up little by little.

All of my friends were in deep conversation about some stuff but I just couldn't stop thinking about the future and what it had in store for each one of us. Melba's grades were really good and she had already been offered a spot in Auror training when she finishes school here. Callie has been offered a job by Charlie, Fred's brother. She wants to go the same way so he offered she come and work with him in Romania after school and Nate is gonna move with her so they can be together. Down there he's gonna try and get a job at their Ministry in the Genealogy department. Seth is currently waiting on an answer from our Ministry on whether or not he can work as an Obliviator for them... then there's Nick. None of us know if he's planning on continuing with his dream as a Healer. Maybe he'll wait a while, maybe he wants to start right away. I know he had a deal with Madam Pomfrey that he can work as her assistant for a while at the school, though I'm not sure that Nick wants to ever set foot on Hogwarts again.

Two months.

That's how long away we are from change.

_Everything is about to change._


	82. Chapter 82

Matteo picked me up in London. After saying goodbye to my friends, Matteo disapparated us from Kings Cross Station.

We then stood in front of a house. It was a townhouse with at least two stories apart from the ground floor. The sun was going down so the light was turned on _on_ each floor of the house.

There was a balcony attached to a room on the first floor and on the balcony stood two tall plants. There was a garden out front with what looked like small trees that was in the middle of growing.

"This is where I grew up." Matteo informed me. "Uh— I know this isn't what you wanted and it's going to be hard to be here, but I'm gonna try and come by every day in case you need me to defend you or anything."

_You're not my saviour._

To say I was upset with Matteo, was an understatement. If it hadn't been for him, nothing would've changed and I wouldn't be forced to stay with my mother.

"Are you coming, Julie?" Matteo asked as he opened the gate. I was staring up at the house, my backpack on my back and my trunk in my right hand.

I took a deep breath before I followed my brother through the gate and up the small path to the stairs that led to the door.

He let us into the house, and the first thing I saw was the small foyer with doors leading to different rooms and a carpeted staircase leading upstairs to the next floor.

"Dad isn't— I mean, Tanner is at work, should be home sometimes tonight by mum, Ezra and Eleanor are home though. I'll uh— show you your room."

Matteo led the way upstairs and I slowly followed behind, seeing the family photos on the wall.

_Family photos._

They were all in them. My mother, her husband, my brothers and my half-sister. They were all in the photos, smiling, being happy about their lives.

"It's always been your room." Matteo told me. "Ever since we first moved in here. Mum wanted you to have one in case we ever got you back."

He pushed open a door to a room and I sighed as I placed myself next to him.

"She could have gotten me back." I said. "She chose not to. I don't know why she'd lie about it but she doesn't want me."

I entered the room, placing my trunk down before letting my backpack drop to the floor.

There was a Queen-sized bed, placed perfectly against the wall with equal space on either side of it, along with nightstands.

On one nightstand, there stood a lamp on top of a pile of four books, and on the other stood a plant that poured over the side and almost reached the floor.

By the end of the bed, was a white fur ottoman on top of a white fur carpet. On the wall across from the bed, was a big window with long white curtains.

Next to the window was a bookshelf with tons of books and some picture frames on the top shelf. Under the window, standing against the bookshelf, was a small white basket with some blankets in it.

Next to the door where I was standing, was a dresser. On top was two lights formed as the initials of my first and middle name.

J and E.

There was a lamp too and a round golden mirror hanging on the wall. On the other side of the room was a desk with some more books and more photos with a comfy-looking chair.

"This—" Matteo walked into the room and opened the door that was in the wall next to the bookshelf. "... is your bathroom."

I wrapped my arms around myself, looking around the room as I chewed on my lip.

"There's towels in there and everything." Matteo told me. "And shampoo, conditioner— all that stuff. Mum made sure of it earlier today."

I walked further into the room, making my way to the desk to look at the pictures. It was me as a baby in both of them but in one of them, I was lying in the laps of two young boys who sat on the sofa in my home in Scotland.

"Sweetie." I heard my mum's voice in the room. My body froze for a moment before I slowly turned around. She stood in the doorway to my room while Matteo closed the door to the bathroom. "I can't believe you're actually here."

"Yeah, well I didn't have much of a choice." I told her. "You used your power of the guardianship against me."

She pressed her lips together as she glanced down for a moment before looking at me again.

"Have you eaten on the train?" She asked. "I can cook you something."

"No thanks." I hurried to say. "I don't have an appetite."

She nodded slowly, then looked at Matteo and offered a smile. He scratched the back of his neck before glancing at me as he made his way out of the room.

"I'll give you some time to unpack." my mother told me, forcing a smile before walking out and closing the door. I let out a breath of relief, letting my arms drop from around my body.

As if I was gonna unpack.

I walked over and sat down on the ottoman, my hands in my lap. I looked down at them and noticed how both them and my legs were trembling. As I broke into tears, I clamped a hand over my mouth, suffocating the sound so that no one heard me.

I couldn't show that I was weak.

I just really didn't want to be here. I wanted to be with my friends, or with Fred. I wanted to be with someone whom I knew cared about me and whom I cared about. I dug my elbows into my thighs as I hid my face in my hands, silently crying into them.

This was just pathetic. I was sitting here, crying and feeling sorry for myself when there was other people having it so much worse. Nick for an example. He was having it so much worse and he needed our support. I shouldn't be the one crying.

_Get it together, Julie._

I tried fighting the tears, holding them back. I wiped my cheeks violently, then looked towards the window. I stood up, making my way over to it. I fought with it a little but managed to open it, the fresh air hitting me in the face.

_Only a week, right?_


	83. Chapter 83

"I've always wanted a sister." Eleanor said enthusiastically as I sat with my so-called family at the breakfast table the next morning. I really didn't have an appetite and the mood was awkward. No one knew what to say apart from my five-year-old sister. "Ezra and Matteo doesn't know how to do my hair and mummy and daddy always does it too tight."

I tried offering Eleanor a small smile as she looked at me while filling her mouth with cereal. It wasn't her fault that my mother got her new daughter after abandoning me so I was trying my best to seem kind to this little girl.

"What house are you in at Hogwarts?" Eleanor asked and tilted her head. "Because mummy was in Hufflepuff and daddy was in Thunderbird at Ilvermorny."

"I uh–" I gulped. "I'm in Hufflepuff."

"I want to be in Hufflepuff." Eleanor continued with a bright smile on her face. "But Ezra says I'm a Slytherin because I always sneak into his room to steal paint. I like to pain and Ezra's an artist but he never sells it. Matteo says he's too much of a baby. I just think Ezra's shy."

_Is she five or is she eight?_

She doesn't sound like a five-year-old to me. She's definitely adorable and talks a lot. She seem excited. Because I'm here?

"El, maybe tone it down a notch?" Tanner asked, running his hand through his daughters hair, messing it up, which caused her to giggle and try and fix it. Her dad stood up and took his plate to the kitchen, leaving me at the table with Ezra, Eleanor and our mother.

Matteo went home last night and as far as I remember, he had work today but would come by the house afterwards.

"Are you not hungry, sweetheart?" my mother asked, causing me to look up. She sat at the opposite end of me. I simply shook my head, and Eleanor immediately reached over the table to grab the breakfast waffle that mother had cooked for me.

"I hope you don't mind." Eleanor said as she took a big bite of the waffle. "I really like waffles."

The sound of the doorbell filled the house and immediately, Ezra stood up, pushing his chair back. He ran a hand through his hair as he hurried out of the dining room to answer the door.

"Did you know–" Eleanor said with her mouth full of waffle. "Mummy chose my name. She named me after you. My middle name is Julie."

I looked at her at her confession and then I slowly looked to my mother. It hurt every time I was told something like that. Every time there was something that normally would show that my mother loved me. It hurt because if she truly did love me, why didn't she come after me? Why did she leave me with him for seventeen years?

"Uh– Julie." Ezra said as he entered the dining room again. "There's a _friend_ for you. That– Nate I believe his name was."

My eyes widened a little but then I felt my heart flutter. Nate was here? Thank fucking god. I really needed to see someone right now that I was comfortable around. I excused myself as I stood up and walked out of the dining room, but my body came to a halt when I saw the look on his face.

His eyes were bloodshot and his cheeks were red and stained with tears. His eyes met mine and he sobbed as he nodded for me to follow him outside. I put on some shoes before I followed him out and closed the door behind me.

"Nate?" I asked as he walked down the steps before turning towards me again. "What's wrong?"

He breathed heavily as he ran his hands into his hair, looking everywhere but at me. Then he ran his hand over his mouth while he let out a cry.

"Did something happen with you and Callie?" I asked. "Did you have a fight?"

"No." he shook his head. _"Fuck."_

Nate was confusing me. He was crying. He was really crying and I had no idea why. If it wasn't because of Callie, then _why_ would he show up at my mother's house, crying like this?

"Callie is at home." he told me. "She's at my home, sleeping in my bed. We've had a really long night. I– I don't know how to say this."

"Say what?" I asked, folding my arms over my chest. "You're freaking me out, Nathaniel."

He took a deep breath, his hand running over his face as another cry of pure pain left his lungs. He crouched down, trying to gather himself before he sat in the grass, shaking his head.

"We went to see Nick." he explained as I went to sit next to him. "We wanted to see if he was okay. His mum let us in, told us he was in his room. That he hadn't come down for dinner because he wasn't hungry and we– w-we went up there and– fuck I can't say it. Please don't make me say it."

I moved away from him a little, my eyes wide and my heart beating fast as I was getting the idea of where this was going.

"Nate." I breathed. "What are you talking about? Is Nick okay, is he... _Nate."_

"He was just _hanging_ there." he cried, hiding his face. "I– he was just... I tried to get him down. I got him down b-but he was't... Nick wasn't breathing and I tried to revive him. Julie, I tried but it wasn't working."

_Wasn't working?_

"What?" I frowned, moving further away from him while trying to gather the information he just dropped on me. "Nate, what are you– Nick's not. He's not dead. That's not what you were– _no!"_

"I'm sorry." he cried. "It's all my fucking fault. I should've gotten there earlier and we would have found him in time."

I clamped a hand over my mouth, staring at Nate in shock. We were both in shock. Then realisation hit me and the most heartbreaking cry left my throat. I tried to hold it back but now that the first sob had left me, the others followed.

"No." I cried, shaking my head. "That's not the truth. Nick wouldn't do that! You're lying. Why're you lying?"

Nate looked at me, shaking his head softly. He tried to reach out his hand, but I got to my feet as quickly as possible, staring down at him through the tears in my eyes.

_This is all just a bad dream._

I closed my eyes, bringing my hand to my left arm to pinch.

It hurt.

Pains equals awake.

_No._

I kept pinching myself. I pinched myself over and over again, hoping that one of the times, it wouldn't hurt. That was until Nate stood up and forced me to stop by grabbed my arms and throwing them to my sides before wrapping his own around me in a tight hug. I hesitated but slowly wrapped my arms around his back, burying my face in his chest, though I had already started crying.

He was lying. Nate was lying. Nick was alive and we were gonna visit him. We were gonna visit him and we were gonna tell him that everything was gonna be okay. He was gonna be okay again and he was gonna be a healer like he always wanted to be.

He was gonna get married to a man once it got legal in England, once he found someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and he was gonna have a bunch of babies. He always wanted a bunch of babies. He wanted all five of us to be godparents, though we told him we weren't sure that many godparents were allowed.

He didn't care.

_He doesn't care._

Nick would be alright. Nick was sitting in his room right now, writing a letter to me, telling me how he was doing. He was okay.

Right?

He had to be.

"I'm sorry, Jules." Nate whispered. "I wish it wasn't true but–"

"No." I said, pulling out of the hug. "It _isn't_ true. He's just hurt. I'm sure if you check again, he's breathing."

Nate pressed his lips together and tilted his head while shaking it. His eyes were full of tears and I hated the look of pity in them. He looked at me like I was the one lying.

"He's breathing, Nathaniel!" I raised my voice. I heard the door to the house being opened but my eyes stayed on my friend in front of me. "Go check for fuck sake! Go check his pulse! It's there. I promise you, it's there."

"Julie." he tried to reach out for my arm, but I pulled back, shaking my head violently as my eyes teared up again.

"You don't get to decide if he's breathing or not!"

"I was there!" he yelled back. "I know this is fucking hard to hear but how do you think it was being the one to find him? He was hanging from the ceiling, Julie! Nick is gone!"

"Stop!" I yelled, placing my hands over my ears as I closed my eyes. I breathed heavily, squeezing my eyes even more closed, as if I never wanted to open them again. _"Stop."_


	84. Chapter 84

I had grabbed my shit and I left with Nate. My mother didn't put up a fight. She had heard what had happened to one of my best friends so I went to stay with Nate and Callie at Nate's place.

I couldn't wrap my mind about it. I refused to believe Nate was speaking the truth.

When we entered his bedroom, Callie was asleep on the bed, her face red and cheeks stained from tears.

I put my trunk on the floor, making my way into the room. Nate closed the door and while he sat down on the edge of the bed to check on Callie, I went to the window.

I had no idea of what to do with myself. I had no idea how to react or how to think. It was just that the last thing I ever wanted to believe, was that he truly was gone.

"Is it okay if I leave?" Nate asked, causing me to turn around and look at him. "I mean, Callie's here. You'll have each other when she wakes up. I just— I need to go and I need to tell Seth and Melba."

_They don't know yet?_

I nodded, but I didn't say anything. I wrapped my arms around myself and Nate stood up with a heavy sigh.

"I'll be back soon, yeah?" He nodded. "Promise."

He walked over and pulled me in for a hug before he disapparated from my arms. I looked around, then I made my way over to the bed to sit against the headboard. Just to be close to Callie.

I wasn't feeling anything anymore. I felt numb. It was like the news couldn't process properly. I was glad that I was numb. I knew that if I could feel anything, it would hurt too much and I wouldn't be able to handle it.

I closed my eyes, throwing my head back against the headboard as I let out a deep breath.

" _Hey sweetie." I smiled softly when I entered the Hufflepuff basement where Nick sat on one of the sofas, staring into the fire. "What're you doing?"_

_I walked over to the back of the sofa and leaned on it. I ran my hand through Nick's hair, messing it up and in annoyance, he groaned and moved away from me._

_"What's wrong?" I asked, walking around the sofa to sit next to him. "Talk to me."_

_He looked at me and frowned when he saw my face. "Why've you been crying?"_

_"Don't worry about that." I said. "You're upset about something and I don't want you to walk around with it on your own. I know how that feels and it's not healthy."_

_He sighed and leaned back against the sofa with a slight pout on his face._

_"Alright—" he breathed. "Well, Julie. I think— I'm— I like—"_

_"Boys?" I asked, causing his head to snap in my direction. "Yeah, I know."_

I flicked my eyes open at the memory that flooded through my mind. His voice was so clear and so was his face.

_He's not gone._

Any minute, Nate will be back with Seth, Melba... and Nick. He'll be there and he'll hug me, because Nick is my best friend and he's my brother — not biologically but you choose your family and he's like a younger brother to me.

I pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them.

There was no way.

How could Nick possibly be gone? It was the same guy who saw the bright side in everything and then because some fucking psychopaths decided to rape him, he took his own life's

He left us.

He wasn't Nick to the end. Nick would never have left us. He was broken by what happened to him, and we didn't help him. We should've done more. _I_ should've done more.

_"Hi! I'm Nick. My real name is Jesus but my middle name is Nick and— oh... I promised myself I wouldn't introduce myself as Jesus. I really hate that name. Please don't call me Jesus. Just call me Nick. Wait— let me start over. Hi! I'm Nick."_

I ran my hands into my hair, the voice of eleven-year-old Nick Crane filling my head. I closed my fists around my hair, pulling at it.

_Stop thinking._   
_Stop thinking._   
_Stop thinking._

Callie was moving in her sleep, causing me to look at her. She moved closer to me, turning her head to face me and she mumbled something but it was inaudible.

Her blonde curls were a mess around her hair and she had dried mascara on her cheeks, mixed with the dry tears.

I moved some of her hair out of her face, sighing. Why was this happening? Why had this happened?

Why couldn't I do anything? I wish I could have done anything.

I ended up falling asleep next to Callie, and when I woke up again, Melba was sleeping on my other side. Callie was still asleep. Nate was sitting in his chair in the corner while Seth was leaning against the windows, staring into the room. Nate had been watching the three of us who were sleeping, almost in a protective way.

"Nick's parents are gonna uh— they're gonna update us on everything." Nate told me when he saw I was awake. "... about the funeral and stuff."

_Funeral._

It was real. This was actually happening. Heel was actually gone.

Nick was dead.

Nick had killed himself.

Nick was never gonna see the light of day again. We had lost him for good and we were never seeing him again.

Our ball of sunshine was never gonna show his bright and happy face again. We were never gonna hear his laugh or hear him obsess over pizza again.

We were going to bury our Nick. We were going to be burying our brother.

"Fuck." I cursed, sitting up. I ran a hand through my hair, closing my eyes while I took one deep breath. "Where is... where _is_ he?"

I looked at Nate, then at Seth who hadn't moved one bit since I woke up. He was still staring at the same spot on the opposite wall.

"The ministry came to get him." Nate explained, scratching his arm. "They're gonna get him ready for the— f-funeral."

He closed his eyes, trying to stop himself from crying. At the same time, I scooted to the end of the bed, placing my feet on the ground.

"I need—" I breathed, though I didn't say it. I didn't tell them what I needed. I stayed quiet, closing my eyes as well.

_I need Fred._


	85. Chapter 85

Before the twins dropped out of school, they agreed on letting me have a key for both their shop and their flat in case I ever needed something.

I took advantage of that today. A couple of days had passed and I just completely realised the fact that I was never gonna see Nick again.

My feelings had been back and forth since Nate told me the news. I had been thinking it all over, and about ten minutes ago, it all just clicked.

I used Floo Powder to get from Nate's house to Diagon Alley and I needed some fresh air so I walked down the streets until I got to the shop.

The twins were working actively on getting the shop ready. They were both standing there, flicking their wands to get everything ready, and once I entered the shop, their eyes fell on me.

I had been crying. I was _still_ crying. People in Diagon Alley had looked at me weirdly because I was straight up sobbing, my heart beating fast as hell as I walked quicker than what was my intention.

"Jules?"

"Hi." I breathed, trying to contain the tears that were still running down my cheeks. I closed the door behind me before I wrapped my arms around myself.

"Are you okay?" George asked as the two both pocketed their wands.

"Did your mum do anything?" Fred asked. "Or your brothers?"

"No." I sobbed, shaking my head. "No, uh— I've been staying with Nate. He came to get me because—"

I couldn't get myself to say it. It was do damn hard and I didn't want it to be true but it _was_ true. Nick was gone and he wasn't coming back.

"I'll go upstairs." George said, patting his brothers shoulder. "If either of you need anything, just come get me."

George went upstairs, and Fred walked closer to me, stopping a couple of feet away.

"Darling, what happened?"

"Everything is crashing down." I cried. "And I can't do it anymore. I'm so sorry I-I told you I didn't want to live anymore. I didn't know i-it would hurt this badly for everyone i-if I ended it."

At the start of my relationship with Fred, I did have suicidal thoughts. I've mentioned my low self-esteem before but once I accidentally let it slip that I was planning to kill myself. I didn't think anyone would even care.

"We needed him." I continued. I was rambling on about everything, but I wasn't telling him straight up what had happened because I couldn't get myself to say it. "I _needed_ him. It's all my fault. I encouraged him to come out and be open about his sexuality because he shouldn't be ashamed of who he was and those _bastards_ raped him and now he's dead and I don't know what to do because this is now how it was supposed to be!"

Fred was tearing up at the sight of me, slowly realising what had happened.

"It's my fault." I repeated. "I'm the reason he killed himself. I'm the reason his parents won't see him graduate. I'm the reason his brother has become an only child and I'm the reason our friends group went from six to five."

I was panting, my mind everywhere as I looked at my boyfriend.

"Nick is dead." I said in a whisper. "And it's _my_ fault. How am I supposed to live with that?"

Fred reached out and grabbed my hand, pulling me forward. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, planting a kiss on my head as he hugged me tightly. I sobbed against his shirt, wrapping my own arms around his back.

"It's not your fault." He whispered. "And Nick would never blame you for what happened."

For some reason, that made me cry harder. Fred's right hand brushed through my hair as the other was wrapped tightly around my shoulder, his cheek resting against my head.

"I'm so sorry, my love." He whispered. "You just— you can't blame yourself. That'll ruin you."

"I'm already ruined." I cried. " _Everything_ is ruined. It's all crumbling and I can't do anything. It hurts, Freddie. It hurts _so_ much."

I felt him tighten his arms around me as he let out a shaking breath.

"I know, darling." He whispered against my hair. "I know it does."

We stood like that for what felt like hours. He never wanted to let go of me, and I never wanted to let go of him. I cried for a really long time, but eventually I calmed down. I was still crying with a sob leaving my mouth from time to time, but it wasn't as violent anymore, and the way that Fred swayed from side to side with me in his arms, helped me relax too.

"Can I stay with you for a couple of days?" I whispered. "I don't want to sound like an asshole but being with my friends and seeing us as five and not six— it hurts too much."

"Of course." He told me. "You can stay as long as you'd like. I can go get your stuff from Nate if you want me to. They're your friends so I'm sure they'll understand."

Eventually, we walked up to the flat, my hand perfectly placed in his. It seemed like a cosy flat, perfect for the two.

George was leaning against the wall in the kitchen and immediately wanted to make sure I was okay. I couldn't tell him. I couldn't get myself to say the words one more time. I had just calmed down.

Fred seemed to notice and gave my hand a squeeze which made me look up at him. I nodded at him when I saw the look in his eyes. It was permission to inform George of what had happened.

He then led me into his bedroom, closing the door behind him.

"Maybe you should try and get some sleep." He said. "You must be tired."

"A little." I shrugged. Fred made the bed, then walked over to me and took my face in his hands.

"I'll talk to George, yeah? We're probably gonna be working on the shop throughout the day, so if you wake up and the flat's empty, we're either downstairs or in the basement. Oh— and you can help yourself to anything in the fridge. What's ours is yours." He said. I moved my hands up to the back of his neck, pulling him down while tiptoeing to kiss his lips.

"I love you." I whispered against him before I simply hugged him.

"I love you too." He responded. "Get some rest. I'll be up to check on your at least every hour."


	86. Chapter 86

The next morning, I laid in bed with Fred. He had an arm wrapped around me, the hand on his other arm brushing through my hair repeatedly.

My head was on his bare chest and I was drawing circles on his side, using my index finger. Being close to him and waking up to him was exactly what I needed right now.

Fred's body was extremely warm which was nice. It made the cuddling way more comforting.

We were both awake but we didn't need to talk. The silence was comforting too and I think he knew that. He just wanted to be there for me in any way I wanted.

The way he held me tight when we went to bed, made me think that he was scared I'd go the same way as Nick. I had been close to that point before in my life and one of Fred's worries were that I ever reached the point again.

I would never do it. Not now when I know how much it hurts to have a loved one leave you like this. It hurts so much and I feel so guilty for ever wanting to do the same.

I missed Nick.

All I could think about was the last time I talked to him. It all makes sense now.

_Nick was crying, leaned back against the poster of his bed. When he saw me enter, he straightened up and wiped his cheeks while clearing his throat._

_"Hi, Jules." He said, trying to sound okay, like he hadn't just been crying. "Can I uh— do you need anything?"_

_He was looking away, trying to hide his face and the evidence of tears in his cheeks._

_"I came to talk." I said softly. "You've not been the same lately. What's going on?"_

_"Nothing." He hurried to say. Wiped his cheeks again as he walked around to grab one of his books next to his bed before he sat down. "I'm just stressed about the upcoming exams."_

_The exams were in four months._

_"Nick—"_

_"Julie!" He yelled, causing me to flinch. Nick never yelled and if he did, it wasn't at anyone he loved. "I'm fucking fine, alright? It doesn't matter anyway... it'll all be over soon."_

He had planned it. That was our last conversation before he was picked up by his family. That was the last conversation we ever had. He went home, didn't answer our letters and he committed suicide before we got to see him again.

He told me. He basically told me he was gonna end it and I didn't see it. I should've seen it. Why didn't I fucking see it?

"Jules?" Fred asked when he heard the sob leave my mouth. He ran his hand down to my neck, caressing my skin. I inhaled sharply, lifting my head to look at him. When he saw my face, he slowly sat up straight, taking me with him. "Hey, come here."

He wrapped both of his arms around me while I snuck mine around him. He planted a kiss on my shoulder, his hand rubbing up and down on my back.

"I wish I could just hold him one more time." I cried softly. "... and tell him that everything is going to be alright."

"I know, darling." He whispered into my hair. " _I know."_

"And I wish I had done something." I continued. "Because he told me it was all going to be over soon, and I should've realised what he meant."

Fred pulled back, looking at me with his hands resting on either side of my jaw. His thumbs caressed my skin and his eyes scanned my face.

"Do you remember when I came to visit you during Christmas of nineteen-ninety-four?" He asked. I sighed and nodded while I closed my eyes. I knew exactly where he was going with this. "Your father wasn't home and I couldn't find you. A few days before we left school for the Holidays, you told me how _cool_ it would be to be able to control your own death. That _that's_ how it should be. I didn't think much of it, just thought you were deep in thoughts again and then I found you in that tub in your father's house."

I opened my eyes to look at him, seeing the pain in his eyes from the memory. Fred was the only one who knew about that. I never told anyone and neither did he because he promised me.

"The floor was full with empty pill bottles." He said. "And you— you were unconscious. I felt so guilty because I didn't notice the signs, but you know what? That wasn't my fault and this isn't yours."

This was the first time either of us mentioned that day. We never talked about it, not even to each other.

Fred had stuck two fingers down my throat to make me throw up the pills again. I don't know how he knew what to do. Pills aren't a thing in the wizarding world. The only reason my dad had some in the house, was because he left the wizarding world for good and decided to live like muggles.

If Fred hadn't made me throw up the pills, I would probably have been dead.

"I know it will take a while for you to realise." Fred said. "But I _know_ Nick wouldn't want you to blame yourself."

"But—"

"No!" He said firmly. "No... it's not on you. Everyone can miss the signs. How were you supposed to know that _that_ was what he meant? Stop beating yourself up. It _will_ ruin you if you do, but you are fucking strong and you _will_ get through this."

I sobbed as I threw my arms around his neck, burying my face in his shoulder.

"I promise you, my love... right now it doesn't seem like it'll get better, but it will and one day, you'll be able to think about him without feeling like you're gonna break."

We stayed in bed for a while before we both got up and got dressed. George was in the kitchen, looking out of the window with his arms folded over his chest.

He turned when he noticed us leave the room, though he forced a smile. He was obviously shocked over the news I dropped on them yesterday.

He and Nick were friends. Not close friends but they had been friends since we all started Hogwarts.

"Looks like a couple of owls found you." George commented, pointing to a few envelopes on the table. "One's from Dumbledore and one's from Mrs Crane."

"Danika?" I asked with a small frown as I walked towards the envelopes. The one from Dumbledore was the top one but I went for the one from Nick's mother... Danika Crane. I sighed. "It's probably about the... funeral."

I sat down, slowly opening the envelope. My hands were shaking just slightly.

I pulled out the piece of parchment and unfolded it before I read it. Afterwards, I felt like crying— but I didn't. I kept it back.

"The funeral is uh— it's on Friday."


	87. Chapter 87

**May 4th** **of 1996**   
**//NARRATOR//**

It was Friday.

The sky was covered with dark clouds. The sun was hiding and it looked like it was gonna rain at one point. The weather was perfect for how the five friends were feeling.

Julie woke up in Fred's bed, mumbling to him that she didn't want to go. She didn't want to be at the funeral, but after Fred dragged her out of bed and convinced her to do so, because if she didn't, she'd regret it, Julie got dressed in the clothes Fred had helped her choose for the funeral.

She was wearing a black flowy dress that reached above her knees and both Fred and George were wearing plain black suits that they had rented. They were gonna be attending the funeral too, along with a lot of Hogwarts students.

Julie held Fred's hand as the three apparated to the Little Hangleton Graveyard where the funeral took place. Fred felt his Hufflepuff girlfriend squeeze his hand automatically at the sight of all the people and the casket that stood next to a hole in the ground. The hole was the perfect size for the casket and Julie found herself hating the fact that her best friend was about to be buried six feet under.

Mrs Crane had wanted a few of Nick's friends to speak at the funeral, and Julie had volunteered, wanting to say a few words about her deceased friend. He would've loved that. She hadn't written anything down. She wanted to speak from her heart.

The three slowly made their way through the gate to the graveyard. Julie's four remaining friends were gathered together, staring at thee casket like it was the most horrible sight in the world.

It _was_ the most horrible sight.

Their best friend was inside, his heart still, eyes closed, his lungs no longer working to give him oxygen. Their best friend was gone and most of them had yet to realise that he wasn't gonna walk through the gate any moment to laugh with them again.

Julie let go of her boyfriend's hand when Melba laid her eyes on her. The two girls immediately broke into tears as they threw their arms around each other. Callie was next, joining them as she too started sobbing.

Seth and Nate watched their three girls hug and comfort each other. Both boys stood next to each other, their hands hidden away in the pockets of their trousers. Nate hadn't been able to get just one hour of sleep since he and Callie found their friends hanging in a robe from the ceiling of his room.

Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Nick's face, drained of blood, completely pale. He remembers the robe marks on his neck after getting him down, and he remember screaming for Nick to wake up while trying to pump his heart back to life. He remembers looking up at Callie, seeing her with both hands over her mouth, not knowing what to do with herself, and he remembers Nick's parents come running into the room by the sound of Nate's screams.

He will never forget the look on their faces or hearing Danika Crane scream for her son while Myron Crane had to lean on the doorframe for his knees to not give in.

Nate can't close his eyes without seeing all of that, plus hearing his own cries mixed with Mrs Crane's screams. Everything had changed and the five friends didn't know what to do now.

They had all received letters from Dumbledore a few days before the funeral. They had been allowed to take their exams early in case they wanted to leave Hogwarts, and all five were gonna take him up on that offer. None of them wanted to return after what happened.

"Guys." Seth said calmly, causing the three girls to pull apart. Julie immediately went back to Fred to get the comfort from him as he wrapped an arm around her, but the seven of them all turned to see the whole house of Hufflepuff enter the graveyard with Professor Sprout leading the way.

Cedric found his way to his teammates to hug them and offer his condolences before he went to talk to Mr and Mrs Crane along with Nick's older brother Ember.

A few Gryffindor's entered the graveyard as well, along with some Ravenclaws, but what the five friends hadn't expected, was seeing a few Slytherins come in last. Adrian Pucey was in front and the sight of him, made the five boil with anger.

"Oh... no he does not." Nate sneered. He lunged forward towards Pucey but Callie pulled him back, pressing a hand to his chest.

"Don't do this." she said in a whisper. "It's not fair to his family."

"What's not fair is the one responsible of all of this, showing up at his funeral." Nate whispered back. "He has no business here and he knows it. He's just here to see his work complete."

"Stop." Callie broke into sobs, making Nate's face soften before he pulled her in for a hug. Julie watched her two friends while leaning into Fred's embrace, loving the way he had his arms wrapped around her.

When the ceremony started, every one were gathered around the casket and the official who was in charge of the ceremony. He started off by speaking about Nick, things he had been told by Mr and Mrs Crane. He talked about how good Nick was, how he always wanted the best for people, how he was always happy and would never hurt a fly.

Students who didn't even know Nick personally, were crying. Though they didn't know him, their hearts bled. Everyone knew about the six friends. Everyone knew that they saw each other as family, that they always had each others back so even for people who weren't involved with them, the thought of the five losing one of their own, was something that would make their heart ache.

Julie's speech was sweet. It made people cry, yet laugh at the mention of Nick's pizza obsession. He would do anything to get the last slice, especially if it had pepperoni on top. Though there was one part of her speech that really hit a soft spot in herself, her friends and Nick's family.

_"It's no secret that Nick and his family are very religious. I mean, his name is Jesus. He didn't like the name so we called him Nick. We did love to tease him about it and call him by his first name just to get a reaction. Nick loved god and once when we were twelve, he said he was kinda excited to know what the afterlife was all about. He said he didn't want to rush but one day, he would go home. His home was with god." Julie spoke, remembering how the cute boy had spoken to her about it in year two. She sobbed and wiped her cheeks as she looked at the picture of Nick that had been put out here. "Nick, baby... you're home. We never wanted you to leave this way, but you're home now. You're safe. No one will ever hurt you again and I'm sure– one day we'll see each other again. It'll take a while but one day, the six of us will be together again."_

Throughout the funeral, Nate kept looking over at Pucey. He didn't have a reaction on his face. He looked unbothered even and it was pissing him off. How dared he show up at Nick's funeral when he was 100% the one who caused this. How dared he stand there and look at the casket and listen to everyone talk about their Nick.

He was gonna get revenge. Nate wasn't joking. He was going to get revenge for Nick. He wasn't stopping until someone had paid the price.


	88. Chapter 88

**14 months later**   
**July of 1997**

"Stop." I giggled into the pillow when I felt his hand find my behind underneath the duvet. He smiled against my shoulder before he ran his hand up to rest against my bare back.

I turned my head to face him, smiling weakly. Fred's smile only grew and he pulled his head back before bringing his hand up, bopping my nose with his finger.

"You're cute." He told me, leaning his face closer. I closed my eyes, chuckling softly when he brushed his nose against mine. I tangled my fingers into his hair, keeping him close to me as I kissed him.

I threw a leg over his keep, keeping it there while his hand found its way back down to cup one of my asscheeks.

"Move in with me." He whispered against my lips, causing me to pull back so I could look at him.

"Freddie—" I groaned. "... we've talked about this. Now isn't a good time."

He sighed and let go of me. He grabbed under my thigh, removing my leg from his hip before he sat up. He brushed his fingers through his hair shortly, then rubbed his eyes before he got out of bed.

"Don't be mad." I pouted. "You _know_ now isn't a good time. I'll be traveling a lot anyway so I wouldn't be home a lot."

Fred turned around and placed his hands on his hips.

"It's not like that'll ever stop, will it? You're a professional Quidditch player. You will always be traveling, Jules."

I got up on my knees and made my way to the edge of the bed. I wrapped my arms around his bare waist, pulling him closer. I planted a kiss on his rib, then tilted my head back to look up at him.

"I don't know, Freddie." I sighed. "I've never really had a home. You're supposed to feel safe in your home and I _do_ feel safe here with you. I don't know why that scares me."

"Yes you do." He said, smiling softly as he ran his fingers through my hair. "You just said it yourself. You've never really had a home. Of course it's going to be scary when I offer you to move in. I mean— you practically already live here. The only thing we would need to do is get your stuff from your flat and drop them off here."

I took a deep breath, leaning my forehead against his chest. Fred wrapped his arms around my shoulders, planting a kiss on my head.

"Okay." I agreed. "I can move in. Though I'm gonna need your help with moving my things."

"Of course, my love." He assured me, cupping my face to tilt my head back. He pressed a kiss to my lips. "What're your plans for today?"

"Uh— well, Callie and Nate are coming home, taking a break from their jobs in Romania." I said. "Seth's hosting a little get-together for us but Melba won't be joining until later. She doesn't get off work until seven."

Fred pressed another kiss to my lips, letting it linger before he walked over to the dresser and pulled out one of my shirts. I had some stuff here. I actually almost had more stuff here than I did in my own flat.

"Get a shirt on." He told me, throwing the shirt at me.

I gasped dramatically, acting offended as I started pulling it on.

"What? You don't like my boobs?" I pouted. Once I got my head and arms through the holes, I dragged it down to cover my torso.

"Oh, I _love_ your boobs." Fred grinned, leaning back against the dresser. "But I'm not letting George see you like that. He's already seen and done enough with you in the past."

Right, I ended up telling Fred that George and I once went down on each other to experiment with sexual stuff. He kind of freaked out but later, he calmed down about it because I'm with him, and not George.

"Yes, sir." I breathed, getting off the bed. I pulled out my hair from under the material of my shirt, then joined him by the dresser as I found a pair of trousers.

I could do more out of myself _after_ breakfast. For now, I just needed to cover myself up so I didn't walk out there half-naked.

"What time are you leaving to go to Seth's?" Fred asked, brushing some of my hair off my shoulder while I buttoned my trousers. I had to suck in my stomach and hold my breath. It was getting hard to fit in them.

"Gotta be there at noon." I told him, turning towards him with my hand resting against the dresser.

"So— cuddling after breakfast?" He grinned cheekily. I hummed in response, wetting my lips as I looked up at him. I then patted his chest as I walked past him and pulled the door open to leave the bedroom.

"Good morning to you, George." I greeted as he was leaned back against the counter, drinking from a glass of water.

"Good morning to you, _Julie."_ He mocked, causing me to laugh softly as I got ready to cook breakfast.

These two are really lazy. Every time I'm here, I'm the one cooking for _them,_ and when they're alone, they still don't cook. They go out to eat or order some.

"Your mother's owl came again this morning." George told me while Fred walked over to look through the mail.

I sighed and glanced towards the pile of letters along with the Daily Prophet.

"I told her to quit it." I sighed. My mother has been sending me letters, and money because she thinks I need it from her.

I get paid enough for playing for the English National Quidditch Team. I don't need her money and I definitely do not need to hear from her.

"Do you need me to burn it again or do you want to open it this time?" Fred asked, holding up the envelope.

"Burn the letter, please?" I asked. "I'll send the money back."


	89. Chapter 89

"I've missed this." Callie said with a smile as we sat in the living room of Seth and his girlfriend Violet's flat. "How long has it been? Six months? Eight?"

"Nine." Melba said, lifting the bottle of fire whisky to her lips, taking a large step before she passed it to Seth. "Nine _long_ months without seeing each other. You all have your partners but I— I'm fucking single."

"You're always single, Mel." I joked with a laugh rolling off my lips. "Not everyone is lucky enough to be in a relationship."

Melba went to punch me in the stomach, but I shrieked and grabbed her wrist.

" _Not_ in the stomach!"

She furrowed her eyebrows at me but then rolled her eyes and scoffed.

"You've gotten soft."

_I've gotten pregnant._

The bottle reached Nate, and he took one large sip before handing it to Callie who sat between his legs.

"Hey, how's it going in Romania?" Seth asked them while Callie took a sip and passed on the bottle to me. I simply shook my head before I continued to pass it back to Melba. She frowned at me, keeping her eyes on me with a curious, yet confused look.

"It's going well, actually!" Callie said. "Working with Charlie is a lot of fun and then at night I get to go home to this handsome guy."

She reached up to grab Nate's jaw before she leaned her head back to kiss him under the chin.

"It's actually kinda difficult to work as a Genealogist in another country." Nate explained. "I'm trying to learn their language. Charlie's been teaching Cal and she's trying to each me."

"He's horrible at it." Callie laughed, shaking her head. "You should hear him. It sounds like he's choking on a banana or something."

"Can we talk about something else here?" Melba asked and held up a hand, earning everyone's attention, though her eyes stayed on me. "Jules, babe. You haven't touched the whisky."

I shrugged, leaning back on my hands. My mind was going over my secret and all the details about it, while I kept my eyes to Melba. I was a shit liar, but Fred didn't even know yet and I wanted him to know first.

"I'm just not thirsty."

"You don't need to be thirsty to get drunk." Melba said. "And Julie Pegas never says no to getting drunk."

"Melba." I sighed. "Alright, I don't drink anymore. I realised it's a bad habit so I stopped."

"You— stopped." She laughed, taking a sip. "Are you pregnant or something?"

I could tell she was asking that as a joke, but I didn't know how to respond to it, so I laughed awkwardly before pressing my lips together.

"Wait—" Callie said, sitting up straight. I removed my eyes from Melba and looked straight ahead to avoid any eye contact. "Jules, _are_ you pregnant?"

"No she's not." Nate laughed but I could tell his eyes widened when he saw my face. "Holy shit! You totally are!"

"When did that happen?" Seth asked as he slowly got up from the sofa he was sharing with Melba. "How far along are you? Does Fred know? What are you—"

"Seth." I interrupted him, looking up at him. "Oh fuck. No, Fred doesn't know. That's why I haven't said anything because I want him to know first."

My friends all looked around at each other before they looked at me again.

"Well, how far along _are_ you?" Melba asked.

"Only seven weeks." I breathed. "But I'm already starting to not fit in my pants anymore. I have to suck in my stomach. I don't even know how to tell Fred. We're nineteen and it's just— I'm finally doing what I've always wanted to do. I'm on the national quidditch team. Now I most likely have to quit."

"No—" Nate shook his head. "... I don't think that's how it works. Didn't the Irish team have a pregnant player a few years ago? She had to take a break and someone would take over, but once she was ready after giving birth, she got her old spot back."

Hopefully that would be the case here too. I wouldn't want to quit my career when it's only just begun.

"This is great news, J." Seth smiled before he came over and joined me on the floor so that he could hug me. "I'm sure Fred will be thrilled, and you'll figure it out."

"Yeah." I breathed. I simply wasn't 100 percent sure if I should keep it or not. If it was a good idea.

We used a fucking condom. It was birthday sex. Fred woke me up in the morning on my nineteenth birthday last month and I just found out a few weeks ago that I was knocked up.

"If it's a girl, you should totally call her Melba." Mel said with a grin as she leaned back on the sofa. I laughed, shaking my head at her.

"No, but if it's a boy, I would name him Nick." I said. The room went quiet and we all sat in silence, thinking about our deceased friend.

"I miss that fucking idiot." Melba sighed and took another big sip of the whisky. "How's it going with plan Pucey?"

She looked to Seth who shrugged, sighing.

"This is really fucking dumb." I said. "Mel, you're an Auror for Christ sake. You can't just be on board with kidnapping someone."

Melba shrugged and Seth grabbed the whisky bottle from her hand.

"We need to know the truth about what happened to Nick." Melba said. "It's not like we'll kill him. We're just gonna kidnap him. No big deal."

"Thank god we're in Romania for that." Callie said. "You three will get in trouble if you get caught but Nate and I have an alibi."

"Nuh-uh." I shook my head. "No. I'm not getting involved. Seth and Mel can do whatever the hell they want, but they're not dragging me into it. If I'm keeping this baby, Fred and I will be starting a family and I don't want to jeopardise that."

" _If_ you're keeping it?" Nate asked. "You don't know if you want to keep it?"

I shook my head.

"We're still so young." I said. "Fred _just_ asked me to move in with him and now I have to drop this _bomb_ on him. I don't know if I can see myself as a young mum. Nineteen years old with a newborn."

"Does it make you happy?" Seth asked. "The thought of starting a family with Fred?"

I looked at him and sighed softly before I nodded.

"Maybe take that as a sign then." He smiled. " _But—_ in the end, it's your decision. Though if you want an abortion, go get it before the baby can feel pain. I think that's around week twenty, but I'd suggest earlier if you _do_ decide to get an abortion."


	90. Chapter 90

I slowly closed the door behind me, making sure not to make too much noise, since it was late. I pushed off my shoes, placing them neatly. After I took off my jacket, I rolled my shoulders, yawning while I hung it on the wall.

I turned around and I swear my heart stopped beating for a moment when I saw George by the table in the kitchen, writing on some papers.

"Oh—" I spoke. "Hi. You're still up?"

He nodded slowly, keeping his eyes on the papers in front of him while he from time to time, wrote something down.

"Fred dumped this shit on me before he went to bed." He said. "Told me he was too tired so it became _my_ problem."

He finally looked up, and offered me a warm smile as I pulled out a chair to join him.

"Numbers?" I asked, looking at the papers. George nodded and I took a deep breath, shaking my head. "Yeah, can't help you with that."

George sighed and pushed the papers away from him before groaning deeply. He leaned back in his chair and looked at me before smiling again.

"You look tired." He told me. "Late night?"

"They all got _pissed."_ I told him with a chuckle. "Absolutely pissed. Shared bottle after bottle. Violet got home and we helped Seth to bed before making the three others comfortable as well. They're crashing there until they're sober in the morning."

George tapped his fingers against the table as he listened to me speak.

"You don't look drunk."

"Oh, no I didn't drink." I shook my head. "Thought it would be a good idea if one of us stayed sober. Maybe I'll drink the next time."

I pulled myself up to stand and leaned down to give George a hug.

"Goodnight. Try and get some sleep so you can get up in the morning." I told him. He simply hummed in response as I made my way to Fred's bedroom.

I closed the door behind me, and immediately pulled my shirt over my head, placing it on the dresser before unclasping my bra to put it there as well.

After taking off my trousers, I crawled into bed with Fred who was sleeping on his stomach, his head facing the side I usually sleep on when I stay here.

When I pulled the duvet up to cover me as well, Fred's eyes opened and once he saw it was me, he smiled and closed them again.

"I missed you." He whispered, wrapping his arm around my body to pull me close. "You don't smell of alcohol."

"Why is everyone shocked when I decide not to drink?" I laughed softly, pressing a finger against his cheek. "I played the sober friend today."

"M'kay." He mumbled sleepily against the pillow before he yawned softly. I smiled automatically, loving the way he looked right now.

_Adorable._

I never wanted this to end. I was so excited for the years to come. To spend the rest of my life with him. We had been through some bad times in school, but now we had actually managed to reach a point where our relationship is healthy.

_I wonder if he would want this baby._

I kept studying Fred's face, thinking if our baby would get his features, mine or a mix between the two of us. If I decided to keep it, would it be a girl or a boy? Would it be a Nick or a girl with some adorable name we'd come up with?

I knew Fred would agree on Nick if it was a boy. He knows how much I loved and still loves Nick, and he would want me to have _that._

"Babe, close your eyes." Fred ordered me. "You can't sleep with them open."

I chuckled and snuggled up to him as I closed my eyes, feeling the way his arm tightened around my body.

"I'm gonna go see my friends again tomorrow." I whispered, kissing his cheek as we laid there.

"Okay." He replied softly. "Same time?"

I hummed and I felt him nod before we both slowly started drifting off to sleep.

The next morning, I woke up in bed all alone at the sound of an explosion coming from somewhere in the building. I shrieked loudly as I sat up like I had just been zapped in the ass.

When I realised what the sound was, I got out of bed as quickly as possible and threw on a pair of shorts and a shirt before rushing out of the room.

Fred and George were nowhere in the flat, though I ended up finding them in the basement of the shop where it looked like a potion had gone wrong.

"Oh shit." Fred cursed as the two sat there in shock, then they slowly looked to me as I stood in the doorway with a frightened expression on my face. "That was on purpose!"

I frowned at my boyfriend, seeing George do the same.

"On purpose, mate?" George asked. "That would only make it worse."

I sighed and folded my arms over my chest before I announced that I was going back to bed.

I went back up through the shop until I was back in the flat. I looked at the clock on the wall, and sighed when I realised they had woken me up at seven in the morning.

It was Sunday, meaning that I could've slept in. Tomorrow I _can't_ sleep in, because I've got Quidditch Practice like I have all days Monday through Friday.

I decided that instead of going back to bed, I'd just take a shower and get some clothes in for the day.

When I finished my shower and was fully dressed, Fred and George were waiting for me in the kitchen, both looking at me with pleasing eyes, wanting me to cook them breakfast.

"Seriously?" I asked. "I need to teach you two how to cook."

"Who taught _you?"_ George asked as I went to get a pan so I could make scrambled eggs.

"No one taught me. I had to teach myself." I explained. "My dad would have so much work that he didn't have time to cook me food. I had to make myself something to eat so I wouldn't go to bed starving."

I realised how sad that sounded, and frowned at the thought. I looked at the boys, seeing both of them look at me with pity.

"We can't all have parents who doesn't try to starve you." I joked. "And it taught me how to cook so it's fine, really. I'm nineteen, I don't ever have to see him again anyway."


	91. Chapter 91

When I got back to Seth and Violet's flat, she had gone to work. Seth was awake, making coffee in the kitchen while Callie was sleep on the sofa. Nate and Melba were nowhere to be found, and when I asked Seth about it, he told me they must've snuck out during the night.

Apparently Seth wasn't too worried. I didn't _know_ what to think. I mean, two of our friends wandered out into the night while probably still as drunk as they were when I left.

I stood in the living room, looking at Callie who slept on the sofa. Why would Melba and Nate leave in the middle of night? Why would Nate not bring his girlfriend?

"Here." Seth offered a cup of coffee as he walked into the living room, but as I reached for it, he pulled it back. "Wait? Should you be drinking coffee? Because I heard that caffeine is bad for the baby."

"Seth—"

"I'll make you one without caffeine." He nodded quickly and turned back around to walk into the kitchen again.

_Is this how pregnancy is gonna be?_

As I turned around to sit in the chair, Melba suddenly appeared in the living room, making me shriek as I sprung back up.

"Seriously?!" I exclaimed in annoyance. "You can't just do that!"

Then I took in how she looked. She was out of breath, kinda sweaty and her hair was a mess. She also looked pretty panicked.

"We need to go!" She said as she walked over and shook Callie to wake her up while Seth joined us, looking at Melba with a confused look.

"Where've you been?" He asked. "Where's Nate?"

"We're leaving to go to Nate!" Melba yelled at him as she shook Callie more violently. Seth and I exchanged a worried look, before Callie woke up with a scream.

"Stop shaking me you fucking whore!" Her voice echoed through the flat. "I am trying to sleep!"

"We seriously need to go!" Melba told us. "Nate is waiting for us at a warehouse. We need to—"

"Woah, woah, _woah."_ Seth said, holding up his hands. "A warehouse? What the fuck did you do?"

"Let's just fucking go!" Melba pulled Callie off the sofa, grabbed her hand and then managed to grab onto both Seth and I too, before she disapparated us from the flat.

Seconds later, we landed in a dark warehouse, only lit up by some faint lights. It was quite bit, but quite empty too.

My eyes widened when I saw Nate and then the person who was laying lifeless on the ground. I heard Callie shriek and we both stood there, covering our mouths in shock.

"What the fuck!" Seth yelled, walking towards the body on the ground. He crouched down and pressed two fingers to his pulse, then immediately looked up at Nate who was in shock. "What did you do, mate? What did you— oh shit. This is bad. This is _really_ bad."

He stood up and looked back at us girls as we stood next to each other. I looked to Melba who stood between Callie and I, and I then moved away from her.

"I-It was— an accident." She stammered, staring at the body that I was pretty sure was dead. "It's not Nate's fault. We— We were drunk and we thought now was a good time to kidnap him. It all— a-all happened so fast."

"Oh my god." I muttered against my hand as my other hand went to rest against my stomach. It was an automatic reaction. To try and protect my baby even though it wasn't in danger. "Nate, you killed him? You said you wanted to kidnap him and get the truth!"

Nate slowly turned to look at me, shock still showing in his eyes.

"We _did_ get the truth." He said calmly. "He forced Iris Pertinger to have sex with Nick to turn him straight."

His voice was way too calm, making him sound and look scary as fuck. Callie rushed over to him and grabbed his face in her hands.

"What did you do?" She whispered. "Nate, this is— you're gonna get into so much trouble."

"No he's not." Melba said. "We're leaving."

"You're— what?" Seth frowned as stood back up. "You have to turn yourselves in. You _killed_ Adrian Pucey."

"It was a fucking accident!" Melba yelled. "But how do you think it'll look, huh, Seth? They'll think we did it on purpose to get revenge on what happened to Nick, but it wasn't supposed to go this far! They'll give us the dementors kiss!"

I took a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts as I started pacing back and forth.

"You're not leaving alone." Callie then said. "We're coming with."

"We _are?"_ Seth asked while I started laughing as I shook my head. My friends turned towards me, waiting for me to say something.

"We are _not_ coming with you. I am _not_ gonna be an accomplice to this. I-I... what about Fred? I'm having his baby. I can't just— I am _not_ going to Azkaban for this!"

"Which is why we need to leave the country immediately!" Melba yelled.

"No!" I yelled back. "I finally have things my way, Mel! I may sounds fucking selfish but maybe I am! I'm playing quidditch like I always wanted to, I finally have a healthy relationship to Fred, and I'm moving in with him! To not mention the fact that his baby is in my uterus right now. I'm not letting you take that away from me. I can't do this. We can't—"

I started hyperventilating, bringing my hands up to tug at my hair. I was freaking out. Panicking.

_My friends killed Pucey._

Fuck.


	92. Chapter 92

I'm not leaving Fred.

I can't leave Fred.

Finally, I enjoy my life. I enjoy waking up to Fred and we're now planning on moving in together. I am having this baby. I _want_ this baby. This can't be happening. Why is this happening?

I had sat down, leaning against a wall while I watched my four friends try to figure out what to do.

There was absolutely no way that I was gonna let this ruin my life. I didn't do shit. I didn't kidnap him. I didn't kill him, and I'm definitely not helping get rid of him.

No, I'm staying with Fred and I'm having his baby. We'll be happy, raising a little boy or a girl together and maybe one day, we'll have more children.

Maximum four.

I am _not_ leaving him. Nope, not gonna happen. _Never._

Seth made his way towards me and got down to sit next to me, with a heavy breath leaving his mouth. He looked at me, then placed a hand on my knee as I had pulled them up to my chest.

"I don't think you should come with us." he said. "You're right. You should stay here with Fred."

I looked at him, seeing him smile comfortably at me, though his eyes were teary and I knew what he was thinking. If they left and I stayed, I would never get to see them again. But if I left with them, I wouldn't get to see Fred anymore and our baby wouldn't have a father.

I knew what the right solution was. I knew I needed to prioritise my baby, but it was gonna be so hard to say goodbye when my friends decided to leave.

"How did they kill him?" I asked softly, staring back at where Pucey laid on the floor, with Nate, Callie and Melba talking over his body.

"The uh— killing curse."

"They used the—" I inhaled sharply and covered my face with my hands. "... the most illegal curse. They— _fuck!"_

Our three friends snapped their heads up to look at me before they slowly went back to discussing.

"Nate, what were you thinking?" I asked, causing my blonde friend to sigh. "You can't just kill someone. We're all _fucking_ angry at what happened but—"

"I don't fucking know how it happened!" He snapped. "One minute he was confessing everyone with the veritaserum we forced him to take — the next I had said the curse and he stopped breathing."

I pulled myself up to stand as I slowly made my way over to where the stood, my eyes focused on the body.

"How am I supposed to go home to Fred and George and act like this didn't happen?" I asked. "How am I supposed to act like everything is fine?"

"Just— don't go home." Melba said. "Stay at your own flat for tonight and in the morning, we can leave the country."

"I'm not leaving!" I yelled out of frustration. "I am _not_ fucking leaving."

Melba and Nate both took deep breaths as they both looked at me.

"So you'd rather drag Fred down with you?" Melba asked. "Because you _do_ realise, that if the four of us leave and you stay, the aurors will come and talk to you, ask you ton and ton of questions and you're a shit liar, Julie. Then they'll blame Fred and George for trying to hide an accomplice to the murder of Adrian Pucey and you'll go to Azkaban and receive the dementors kiss."

"That's bullshit!" I told her.

"Or—" she continued. "... the aurors will have you drink veritaserum."

"You know what, Mel?" I asked. "You and Nate were together while this happened, right? Why didn't you stop him? You could've stopped this from happening!"

"Well maybe I didn't want to stop it!" She yelled. "That guy forced a girl to rape _our_ Nick because he wasn't straight! He deserved what happened to him! He did such a fucking cruel thing. It's not like we can control our sexualities."

I took a deep breath as I started laughing, taking a step back.

"No fucking shit." I cursed. "You're right. We can't control our sexuality, but don't talk to me like I don't know that. You've been joking for years about me swinging both ways — I bet you never expected that you were actually right, huh?"

Seth had joined us as well, the three listening as Melba and I were fighting.

"Then why didn't you come out?" Melba scoffed, folding her arms over her chest.

"Why the fuck do you think?!" I yelled. "Look at what happened to Nick! That scared the shit out of me!"

"Oh, so you just hid in the shadows while I was forced to be out and open because when I came out, I was too naive that I didn't know how this world was? You're a coward."

"A coward?" I laughed. "You don't get to tell me what I am! You can't be fucking mad at me for not being ready to come out as bisexual!"

Melba stepped closer to me, staring down at me with eyes full of anger.

"I'm not mad at you for still being closeted." She said in a chilling voice. "I am mad at you for wanting to stay in London. We're your family, Jules. You _do_ know what this means right? We'll never see each other again."

"I know."

"Then why the fuck—"

"Because Fred's my family too." I started to cry. "And we're starting a family. I need to prioritise my baby."

"Fucking baby." She cursed and turned away from me, wiping her own cheeks as she walked a few steps away from me.

"Jules, why don't I get you back to your flat?" Seth asked. "You don't have to be involved. Get some sleep and we'll talk again in the morning."

I nodded slowly and kept my eyes on Melba's back before I turned to hug Callie. She hugged me back as I sobbed.

Then I hugged Nate, tightening my arms around him as hard as I could.

"I love you." I whispered. "I'll always do, no matter what happens or what you do."

He didn't say anything. When I pulled back, he looked down, pushing his hands into the pockets of his trousers.

I looked towards Melba again before Seth grabbed my hand and apparated the two of us to my own flat which was located in the Muggle world in London.

When we landed in my living room, I let myself plump down on the sofa. Seth crouched down in front of me, placing his hands on my knees.

"How can you leave?" I asked. "Leave Violet?"

"I don't— I don't know." He stammered. "I understand why you're staying, but I need to help them with this."

He stood up and leaned down to hug me while he pressed a kiss to my temple.

"I'll come get you in the morning." He told me. "I'll drop by Fred and George's flat and tell them you got drunk and crashed at my place."

With that, he disapparated from my flat, and as soon as I was alone, I broke into loud and heartbreaking sobs.

Everything was changing and it wasn't for the good. I had already lost one friend last year, and now I was gonna lose the rest.


	93. Chapter 93

I woke up when I felt the bed dip next to me. I groaned softly and opened my eyes slightly to see Seth. He was in the same clothes as yesterday and he looked absolutely exhausted.

There was a moment just as I woke, when I forget about everything that was going on, but then it hit me and I remembered the events of yesterday.

"Morning." He said in a whisper, rubbing his hand up and down my arm. "How'd you sleep?"

"Like shit." I mumbled. "I can't believe all of this is happening."

Seth sighed and then ran his hand up and down my back while he looked at the wall.

"We uh— we got rid of the body." He said with a blank expression. "Pulled out his teeth, soaked him in acid, then used the deletrius spell on the teeth."

At his description, I nearly jumped out of bed and sprinted to the bathroom. I held my hair back as I dropped to my knees and threw up into the toilet.

I could hear Seth's footsteps before he showed up in the doorway.

"I'm sorry." He said. "I shouldn't have told you that. Uh— they're all in the living room right now. Came to say goodbye."

I immediately looked up at him.

_Say goodbye? Already?_

I gulped, hating the taste of puke. I reached over, grabbed some toilet paper and wiped my mouth, then flushed the toilet. I pulled myself to my feet without saying a word and my mind went over everything as I brushed my teeth.

"I can't do this, Seth." I breathed when I finished brushing my teeth. I looked at him through the mirror, seeing him lean against the frame. "I can't— how am I supposed to go to practice today and act like everything is okay? Or go see Fred? It's going to be too hard. I don't want to lose you too."

I turned around and walked over, wrapping my arms around his neck as he wrapped his around my back.

"I know." He whispered. "I'll miss you too, J. _So_ much, but maybe one day we'll see each other again, yeah?"

I couldn't cry. I guess it hadn't really hit me yet that today would be the last time I'd see my friends. Seth and I hugged for a while, before we joined the rest of our friends in the living room.

I was wearing the shirt I sometimes wore to bed, along with a pair of shorts, but each one of them were wearing the same clothes as yesterday.  
  


**Seth**

The goodbye was hard... heartbreaking. The four of us who were leaving to Mexico, had agreed that since I work as an obliviator, I'll do just that to Julie.

I really don't want to, but we all agreed it's for the best. I won't completely erase us from her memory. I'll just erase what happened in the warehouse. She won't know what Nate did and she will just think we disappeared.

She'll figure out that we're gone and she'll go through heartbreak but this is the only way she won't be tormented by this murder her entire life. The only way she won't be able to tell the aurors and get herself thrown in Azkaban. She needs to be a mother to her baby.

I never loved Violet. I know this isn't fair on her, but it will be easy to leave her because I never had those feelings for her that I had and still have. Julie will always be the love of my life — leaving her will ruin me, but we're doing this for our sake and for hers as well.

I sat on the sofa with Julie, hugging her tightly as she cried. She cried more than the rest of usc but after all, she was the one being left behind. She chose it herself and I understand why. I just want her to be happy, and she _will_ be happy. She's gonna have a baby and grow her family with Fred.

She doesn't need us. She had Fred, she has George, she has their entire family who all love her to death so she doesn't really need us when she gets through the grief and the heartbreak.

"It won't be that horrible, y'know." I tried to comfort her. "You can always think about us. Or have five children in total and name them after us. Then you'll have us back."

I know that was a horrible joke, but it got her to let out a chuckle through her sobs.

"We need to go." Callie announced, wiping her cheeks as she looked at Julie. "You have to be at practice in a couple of hours anyway."

This was the hardest part. We said goodbye a last time, and when we walked towards the door together, I looked back at Julie who had her face buried in her hands as she sat on the sofa.

I looked at my three other friends who waited for me to do what we had agreed on. I sighed and pulled out my wand, pointing it at Jules as I felt myself start to cry again.

 _"Obliviate."_ I whispered, thinking of the memories I wanted deleted from her mind. She continued to sit there for a while before her crying stopped and she looked completely unaffected, though the four of us hurried to disapparate so she didn't see us.

We landed back in the warehouse where we'd get ready to leave. We just needed to get rid of all evidence of a dead body, all evidence of us being in there, and then we were leaving for Mexico.

This was it. This was the end. The end of knowing Julie. The love of my life.


	94. Chapter 94

Julie

A smile formed on my lips as I walked through the doors to Fred and George's shop. They were both working hard at different things, talking to costumers, restocking while Verity stood behind the register.

Fred was stood on a ladder on the shelves near the door, but when he saw me, he slid it all the way along the shelf until he reached me. He jumped off, taking my face in his to kiss me.

"How was practice?" He asked. "Good?"

"Oh, it was great!" I nodded, grinning widely. "Exhausting, but great! Though I uh— I'm off the team until March, maybe April."

Fred's smile dropped and his eyebrows fell into a frown as he placed his hands on his hips.

"You're off the team?" He asked, shaking his head slowly. "Why're you smiling about it?"

"It's only temporary. I'll inform you about it tonight, yeah? Oh, and I contacted my landlord this morning. Told her I'm moving so in two months, the flat is officially not mine anymore, but I can already move in tomorrow if you still want me."

"If I still—" Fred scoffed and wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tightly. "...of course I still want you to move in. I know George wants that too."

I smiled up at him as I pressed my lips to his, kissing him softly before I pulled back.

"I need a shower." I told him. "I'll come down and help afterwards."

"Alright." He nodded at me and I felt his eyes burn into my back as I walked up the stairs and entered the flat.

It had really been a great day. My teammates were completely supportive of my pregnancy. I had to tell them because I can't play quidditch with a fetus inside of me.

I was wondering when I was gonna see my friends again. The last time I saw them was on Saturday when they all got really drunk and I went home sober after they discovered I was pregnant.

I wanted to see them again at least one more time before Nate and Callie went back to Romania for work.

I was thinking about going to see Seth and Violet sometime tomorrow. See if the others were still there.

We were supposed to see each other yesterday as well, but I guess we forgot about it since I spent all day with Fred and George. Or maybe _I_ was the one who forgot we were supposed to meet. I hope they don't think I ditched them. I hope they're not mad. I just forgot.

Tonight, I was gonna tell Fred that I was pregnant. I was gonna see his reaction, see if he wanted our baby. I even have an ultrasound photo from my appointment at St. Mungos. It's a photograph that moved, so you can see the fetus move around in my uterus.

I took my shower, then got dressed in something other than my Quidditch Uniform. After drying my hair and brushing through it, I made myself some lunch, and as I sat and ate it while looking through the daily prophet on the table, the door opened and Fred walked in.

"Fresh out the shower, I see." He smiled when he saw my hair was dry, yet a little damp. He walked around me and leaned down, wrapping his arms around my shoulders as he buried his face in the crook of my neck, brushing his nose against my skin. "You smell good."

I chuckled and let go of the page of the newspaper to run my hand into his hair while he planted a kiss against my pulse point.

"Lunch break." He announced. "Meaning, you can tell me _now_ why you're temporarily off the team, and why you seem to be happy about it."

He grabbed the sandwich I had made off my plate and took a large bite before putting it down again.

"Fred! Make your own!" I exclaimed, pushing him in the stomach. He laughed and held up his hands in surrender as he backed up towards the counter to grab the bread. "Okay. I'll tell you."

I stood up, pushing the chair back as I made my way over to the counter where he stood.

"You're going to be a dad." I simply said before I turned around to walk to his room. The silence coming from him was too loud and it made me a little anxious to not know what he was thinking.

I pushed open the door to his room, making my way to my bag that stood by the side of the bed where I usually slept.

"I'm—" I heard Fred say, causing me to look up as he entered the room. "I'm going to be a _what?"_

"Uh—" I stood up straight, biting my lip. "... it depends really. If you're happy, then yes, I'm having your baby, but if you're _not_ happy, forget I ever said anything."

"How— wha— I mean— _wow."_

"Wow?" I chuckled nervously, wrapping my arms around myself. "What does that mean?"

Fred looked at me for a while, but he didn't reply. Suddenly he just walked around the bed to where I stood, cupped my face to tilt my head back, before he pressed his lips to mine.

I smiled against his lips, knowing this meant he was happy about it. I wrapped my arms around his back, kissing him back as I pressed my body closer to his.

Fred ran his hands down my sides until he grabbed the back of my thighs and lifted me up before throwing me on the bed, making me laugh. He leaned down over me, a hand next to my head as he pressed a soft kiss to my lips.

Then he moved down until his head was by my stomach. He gently moved the material of my shirt up, then I felt him press a kiss to my stomach.

"Hi baby." He whispered. "It's your daddy talking."

He glanced up at me with a huge smile, and when I ran my hands through his hair, he moved back up to kiss my lips.

"This is good news." He assured me. "I'm happy. Are you?"

I nodded.

I really was.

I was gonna keep it.


	95. Chapter 95

Fred had been completely crazy since I told him the news yesterday. He was thrilled and when he saw the ultrasound photo, he couldn't stop calling our baby _'little Weasley'_ then looked at me to be sure I was okay with that, because if I wanted my name involved too, we could do that.

I don't want my name involved. I am not about to give my baby my dad's surname. My dad won't ever know this baby. He won't ever know that he's a grandfather.

Fred and I told George right away, and I think George was almost more excited about this because he's going to be an uncle.

I couldn't wait to tell my friends that telling Fred went well. They knew I was scared of his reaction and they'll be happy for me when I tell them he was happy about it.

"We can put a crib by the bed and when he or she is old enough and needs their own room, we can find a new flat or a house." Fred said, full of enthusiasm while I walked into the room while brushing my hair. He looked at me and eyed me up and down before our eyes met. "Hey, where're you going?"

"Seth's flat." I told him. "I think the rest of the group is there and Nate and Callie are supposed to go back to Romania in a few days so I want to see them as much as possible."

I walked over and tiptoed so I could give his cheek a kiss.

"I'll see you tonight." I told him. When I stepped back, her wrapped his arm around my face and pulled me back so he could kiss me properly.

"I'm gonna cook a big dinner." He told me. "To celebrate the new Weasley baby."

" _You,_ cooking?" I asked. "I have to laugh."

I chuckled at the thought and my grin widened when Fred flipped me off. I turned to George who sat by the table, eating his breakfast.

"Make sure he doesn't burn that the flat, alright?" I asked. "I'm gonna try and make it home for dinner."

I got on a pair of shoes before I found my wand and apparated myself to the hallway where the door to Seth's flat was located.

I brushed a hand through my hair as I knocked on the door, waiting for either Seth or Violet to open the door. Perhaps even one of the other three friends I have, in case they were still here.

After a few moments, the door swung open and Violet revealed herself. Funny thing is that her name is Violet but that's also the colour of her her.

"Hi Vi—"

"They're not here." She said coldly and slammed the door in my face.

_Rude._

I knocked on the door again and it swung open. Violet sighed and looked at me with an unamused look.

"What do you want, Julie? They're not fucking here."

"Okay—" I breathed. "Do you know where they went? Where they are?"

"No." She shook her head. "They left sometimes yesterday, during the morning. They said they were gonna go see you so you're the last one who saw them.

_What?_

"That's— I think I would know if they came to see me." I frowned. "I haven't seen them since Friday."

Violet now frowned as well, opening the door more before gesturing for me to walk in. She closed the door behind me, then turned to look at me.

"So they didn't visit you?" She asked. I shook my head, folding my arms over my chest. "Then where the fuck are they? Where the fuck is Seth?"

_Oh shit._

I ran a hand into my hair, tugging at it as I walked into the living room, Violet following me.

"You've known them for eight years, Julie." She said. "Where would they go?"

"I-I don't know." I shrugged. "It doesn't look like them to go anywhere without inviting me. We don't do that. We make sure all five of us has received an invitation to go out."

"Okay— well, Seth has done this to me before. He leaves and doesn't come back until the next day, so maybe they'll be back later today."

I nodded slowly and looked around before I took a deep breath.

"Alright." I then said. "Will you write me when they get back? Or when Seth gets back if he's alone by then?"

"Sure." Violet nodded. She seemed pretty eager for me to leave, so I simply grabbed my wand in my pocket and apparated back to the flat.

George who still sat by the table, nearly screamed with fright while Fred who sat across from him, laughed at his reaction.

"That was quick." He told me. "What— five minutes you've been gone?"

I sighed as I sat down next to Fred.

"None of them were there." I said. "Violet thinks they'll be back later so she'll write me."

"And they didn't invite you?" George asked before he took a bite of his sandwich.

"Well, they know I'm pregnant so if they went out to drink, they automatically wouldn't invite me because I can't drink." I said. "Though— why would they go out and decide to get drunk in the morning, after telling Violet they came to see me?"

"Wait—" Fred said. "... you're pregnant. Seth came by on Sunday. Told me you had gotten drunk and crashed in your flat."

I frowned as I looked at him, and the room suddenly got quiet.

"I didn't get drunk on Sunday." I said. "That— what?"

Something wasn't right.

"Yeah, you spend the day with them and he told me you had gotten drunk, but now I know you're pregnant so that's— what did you do on Sunday?"

"No, I didn't spend Sunday with them." I said. "I haven't seen them since Saturday."

"Jules, you went to see them on Saturday." George said. "Around noon."

_No I didn't._

"I mean, I don't really remember anything from Saturday, but I haven't— I wouldn't get drunk, that's for sure. But I don't think I saw them— I would remember if I did, right?"

I sighed and shook my head at my own question.

"But be the pregnancy doing something to my memory." I said as I looked at Fred. "But I can tell you, my love, I did _not_ get drunk. I wouldn't do that with a fetus in my uterus."

"Okay." He nodded. "Maybe at the next appointment, we should hear the healer about the whole pregnancy memory thing."

"Yeah," I breathed. "Might be a good idea."


	96. Chapter 96

**July 29th of 1997**

"Jules?" Fred asked, closing the door to the bedroom. "You asleep?"

I hummed in response, nodding my head against the pillow. I felt the bed dip as Fred crawled over to me, throwing a leg over my body to hover over me.

I felt his hands run up my bare back to my shoulders, giving them a squeeze as he massages them.

"Maybe not so much." I then whispered, hearing his soft laugh fill the room. "You know what they say— the way to a girls heart is through her shoulders."

His laugh got a little louder and he leaned down to rest his forehead against my shoulder blade.

"I've never heard anyone say that." He told me before he sat up straight again.

"Neither have I." I chuckled into the pillow, groaning when he resumed the shoulder massage.

Fred's hands ran back down my back and when he ran them to my sides, I giggled at the tickling sensation.

"Fred." I whined, grabbing onto his hand which laid on my side. "C'mon, let go to bed so we can both get some sleep."

I heard him groan as he let himself drop down next to me, laying on his bed with his eyes staring up at the ceiling.

"You good?" I asked with a smile as I placed my hand on his chest. He hummed, placing his hand on top of mine. He slowly turned his head and smiled at me.

"I'm great."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." He grinned, scrunching his nose as he spoke. He rolled onto his side, wiggling his way closer to me, which made us both laugh at how ridiculous he looked. He kissed my cheek, then got off the bed to get out of his clothes.

"Freddie?" I asked, rolling onto my back before sitting up. "Don't you think it's weird that my friends haven't contacted me at all?"

Fred looked at me as he pulled his shirt off and put it on top of the dresser before he started unbuckling his belt.

"Maybe they didn't think of it." He said. "I'm sure they're fine, Jules. When we wake up in the morning, I'm sure there will be a letter from one of them."

I sighed and scooted closer to the headboard, pulling the duvet up to cover my chest.

"I'm really worried." I told him. "They've never _not_ told me where they were going and definitely not for this long — but they haven't left without asking me to come with either."

I watched Fred as he pulled down his trousers and stepped out of them before he threw both those and his shirt into the laundry basket next to the drawer.

"What if something happened to them?" I asked. "If they're hurt?"

Fred crawled back onto the bed, placing his hands on either side of my body as he pressed a kiss to my lips.

"Listen, if they still haven't written you tomorrow, we'll go visit Violet and then the rest of their families. If no one has seen them, we can visit the Ministry and file for a missing person's report."

I sighed, but ended up agreeing as Fred crawled under the duvet to join me. I laid down and he wrapped an arm around me, moving it up and down my side.

"I know I might just be stupid." I said. "I just— I need to remind myself what you once told me. Not everyone is going to leave me."

Fred brought his hand up to the side of my face, cupping it with his thumb brushing and caressing my skin.

"You're not being stupid." He assured me. "Of course you're gonna worry. Especially with everything you've been through and all the people whom you've unfortunately had in your life."

I pressed my lips together and closed my eyes while moving even closer to him so that our bodies were touching.

I think the main reason I was this scared, is because the last time one of my friends went M.I.A on us and didn't write us for months, he ended up dead.

I could feel my heart beat rapidly as I thought about the possibility of the rest of my friends laying dead in a ditch somewhere. What if someone had murdered them?

"Here, turn around." Fred said, causing me to open my eyes. I frowned at him, but then did what he told me to. He brought his hand up between us and I felt him scratch up and down my back. "This always seem to calm your nerves, yeah? You could use that right now."

_He's not wrong._

"I'm sure they're okay, J." He told me softly. "It's going to be fine."

"You're probably right." I breathed. "I'm just overthinking it."

**July 30th of 1997**

"That's it." I said. "I'm gonna stop by the ministry and I am going to file a missing persons report on all four of them."

The entire morning, I had been visiting my friends families but no one had seen them so now I was officially worried, because Seth still hadn't been home in his and Violet's flat, but his stuff are there. He hadn't grabbed anything so that suggests something has happened.

"Babe." Fred told me softly and pulled me aside in the shop. "There is two aurors upstairs. To be specific, it's your brother and your stepfather."

Oh, right. That's something I figured out at one point. Matteo and Tanner are both aurors that worked with Melba.

Normally you'd have to go through three years of Auror training, but they thought Melba was too talented and could skip the whole training part, so she worked alongside the two.

"Why are they—" I didn't finish my own question before I rushed up the stairs and barged into the flat.

Tanner was standing by the window in the kitchen, looking out at diagon alley while Matteo was standing with his arms folded over his chest.

"Julie." Matteo spoke when he saw me, earning Tanner's attention.

"What're you doing here?" I asked and closed the door behind me. "Listen, I don't have time for whatever it is that you want. I—"

"We're here as aurors." Tanner spoke. "Not as family."

_You aren't my family._

"On the night to Sunday, a killing spell was used." Matteo explained. "We tracked it down to a warehouse in London."

"Okay?" I frowned. "I don't know anything about that."

"We tracked the spell to one of your friends wands." Tanner said. "Nate Twig."

_Nate?_

I looked at him before I laughed and shook my head.

"That's a good one." I laughed. "Yeah, Nate killed someone. I could _totally_ see him doing that."

"Do you have any idea where he is hiding?" Tanner asked. "We can't find him."

I sighed, running a hand over my face as the door opened and Fred joined us, placing himself behind me.

"Yeah, well neither can I." I said. "I was actually on my way to the ministry to file a missing persons report. Or— four of them, because I can't seem to find my fucking friends. You know— maybe instead of accusing one of _my_ best friends of committing murder, maybe you should try and turn it around and look for the person who has harmed _him,_ and Callie and Melba and _Seth."_

Fred placed his hands on my shoulders to show me he was there for me.

"We tried tracking down all of your friends." Matteo said, completely ignoring my small outburst. "Don't you find it weird how all four of them suddenly disappears and you're still here?"

"Maybe they're hurt." I shrugged. "Which is exactly why I was gonna report it— because I'm worried, then you just show up here and accuse my friend of using the killing curse."

Matteo looked at the man he calls dad, who apparently also is his partner in crime.

"We _tracked_ the spell to his wand, Julie." Matteo then continued.

"And maybe someone took his wand!" I exclaimed. "Nate wouldn't kill anyone."

"Okay." Matteo said, raising his eyebrows. "But we need to find him so we can prove it, because right now it looks like he did kill someone and your friends helped cover it up. They've all disappeared, Julie. They're nowhere to be found and you being the only one left behind is a little too suspicious, meaning that if you know anything, you need to tell us."

"I don't." I assured him. "Only that none of my friends are capable of killing anyone."

That's not true. I know for a fact that both Nate, Melba and perhaps Callie would be capable of killing someone, though they would never do that.

I was starting to miss them, not knowing where they were at. I just needed them to come back, then everything would be alright.

_Where are you guys?_


	97. Chapter 97

**October 25th of 1997**

Three months.

That's how long my friends have been missing for. I still don't remember what happened that one day where Fred and George told me I had been to see my friends.

Though the healer said that memory problems was an issue with some pregnancies, though she has never seen it be so bad that you forget almost an entire day.

I'm twenty-one weeks pregnant, having a boy. Fred had agreed to naming him Nick, but we're still working on a middle name. I'm not due until March 4th, so we've got loads of time.

Walking around everyday, not knowing what the fuck happened to my friends, was a nightmare. Though I tried to keep myself occupied by helping the twins around the shop. I think they mostly let me help because they knew I needed a distraction and if I stressed and worried too much, there was a chance I'd end up miscarrying.

Miscarrying would be the last thing I'd want.

I love my unborn baby Nick. He's always kicking, especially at night. He's an active one and some nights, Fred and I bicker about what quidditch position he'd play.

I say chaser just like me, but Fred says beater and George is backing him up because he too was a beater.

I swear, if this baby boy doesn't become a chaser like his mummy, I don't know what I'll do.

Right now I was showing Fred how to put together a crib with tools and no magic. It takes longer time, meaning I have something to focus on now that it's Saturday and the shop is closed.

At night, that's when I feel the worst about my friends being missing. That's when I think about it the most and that's when I cry the most.

It's mostly after Fred has fallen asleep because I don't want to worry him with how I cry every night because of my friends being gone.

It was constantly in the daily prophet. Their pictures was in it and it was always the same. ' _Contact this and that person if you know anything',_ stuff like that. It also says that Nate is wanted for murder. They haven't found a body, but apparently Adrian Pucey went missing the night to Sunday when my friends went missing too.

I refuse to believe that Nate killed him, though that would be much better than Pucey having stolen Nate's wand and used to kill him. I'd rather Nate killed than him _being_ killed.

"Give me that." I told Fred when he was screwing the screw in the wrong way. He pouted as he handed over the screwdriver. "You have to do it this way, love."

"Well how am I supposed to know that?" He protested, watching me do it. "It's Muggle stuff."

"And I basically lived like a Muggle before I went to Hogwarts." I said. "So much for a dad who decided to put the wizarding world behind him."

**October 26th of 1997**

"Oh fuck." I cursed when I hit my toe on the corner of the coffee table. George who stood in the kitchen, turned to look at me with a questioning look.

"Are you okay?"

"That hurt." I said in a high-pitched and painful tone as I halted my way into the kitchen. " _Fuck."_

"What happened?"

"Stubbed my toe."

"Ouch." He hissed slightly and looked at me before offering me a piece of the pear he had been cutting. I took it and thanked him silently before eating it.

"Has the Daily Prophet arrived yet?" I asked, looking up at George. He shook his head as he looked at me again. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "Think it got lost or something?"

"It'll probably be here by tonight." George said and gave my shoulder a squeeze. "Don't worry, yeah? I'm sure they've found something."

I turned around and leaned back against the counter, resting my arms on top of my bump.

"I'm trying not to get my hopes up." I said. "They've been missing for three months. Nate is wanted for murder and Melba, Callie and Seth for helping. They don't even have a body! They don't have _any_ bodies. What if it's the other way around, George? What if Pucey killed my friends? What if they're dead somewhere and no one knows?"

"Oi!" George turned to look at me. "I don't want to hear you talk like that. _Don't_ think like that. Listen- are you one hundred percent sure that Nate couldn't have killed Pucey and had the others help him get rid of the body?"

I looked up at George as he spoke. I couldn't deny it because anything was possible. It was just the fact that if any of them had killed anyone, they would've told me and here I am- left behind by all of my friends.

"I don't know." I said softly. "But- if they did, it can't have been on purpose, right? I mean- I know they had this plan..."

"What plan?"

"Well-" I breathed. "Seth and Melba were planning on kidnapping Pucey once Nate and Callie went back to Romania but- they would've contacted me and let me know what happened as they never did. Something happened, George. Something happened and I have no idea what."

George's expression changed.

"Kidnapping? Jules- you realise how insane that is, right? They were planning on kidnapping him?"

"They wanted to get answers about what he did to Nick." I sighed. "But I told them it was a bad idea and I told them I didn't want any part of it."

The door to the flat swung open and Fred walked in with two big plastic bags floating in the air behind him, carrying boxes and packages.

"Look what I bought!" He said, voice full of glee as he pointed his wand at the table, the two bags setting themselves down.

"What is all of that?" George asked out of curiosity as he joined his brother. Fred glanced at him, then looked at me.

"Alright, so I found this book in a Muggle store, right? Because the wizarding world apparently don't have many things on how pregnancy works and stuff like that. I uh- well in this book, there was a checklist of things to buy before the baby arrives, and I know it won't be until March, I also know how stressed you've been about having to buy all these things, so I thought I'd do it for the both of us. I hope that's okay."

I smiled as I approached the table where both twins were unpacking the stuff.

"That's more than okay." I smiled and grabbed one of the packages, picking it up. "What is a- nursing bra?"

"Oh, it's y'know- a bra but it's easier to open for breastfeeding. It said to buy one size larger than the bra size you have now, because apparently your boobs- will grow."

I glanced up at him before I looked at the package I was holding. It was a pack of two. A black and a white one.

My boyfriend knows what a nursing bra is and I don't. Great.

"What the hell is that?" George asked, holding up a larger package.

"That's a breast bump, dear brother." Fred grinned and George's expression dropped as he quickly put down the package. "The book said that sometimes the mother has to pump out the milk and keep it in the freezer in case the dad is home alone or- well in case the mum's not home and the baby needs feeding."

Why do I not know all of this?

"Do you still have the book?" I asked. "I mean, you bought it, right?"

Fred smiled at me, then reached into one of the bags and pulled out a book before handing it to me. I opened it and started scanning the pages quickly to get an idea of it's content. Then I put it on the table.

"I'm gonna have to read that tonight." I said. "I don't know anything about any of these things. I'm gonna be a terrible mother."

"No you _won't."_ Fred said, almost sounding offended. "Loving our child will already make you a better mother than most in this world."

I pouted slightly but Fred then grabbed something and handed to me.

"Can't wait to rub that on you."

_Nipple lotion._

"Fred!" I exclaimed while George shook his head at his brother and walked into his room, closing the door. "What did we say about traumatising George with those comments?"

"I'm sorry!" He laughed. "I was just joking."


	98. Chapter 98

**March 14th of 1998**

Nick Arthur Weasley.

That's the name we gave our son. I was in labor all night, pushed for forty-two minutes before we welcomed our son into the world at 7:52 in the morning.

Fred was there through it all, holding my hand, putting a wet cloth on my forehead, then taking it off again when I was sick of it.

Our baby boy came ten days late. Those last ten days were hell where I just waited and waited and waited for my water to break or my contractions to start. The boy was sitting on my bladder and it was driving me mad.

But now he was here.

There was a moment before I had to start push, where I panicked. I didn't want to do it because my friends couldn't be here to meet them. I so wanted them here but they still haven't been found, so yes... I started panicking.

Fred was the one who made me relax and after pushing for such a long time, I finally held baby Nick in my arms.

Fred and I both cried for so long. We were both _so_ in love with him. Our tiny boy.

He was now all cleaned up, laying in Fred's arms in a tiny white onesie with grey skies printed into the fabric. Fred hadn't taken his eyes off of him, not even when talking to me, though I haven't either.

Nick has a lot of hair for a newborn. It's all red but it's a bit darker than Fred's. I think that comes from my hair being brown, so it darkens the redness. His eyes are blue at the moment but that's because he's a newborn and a baby's eye colour is mostly determined within nine months, those some babies eye colour doesn't complete settle until they're three years old. He has my nose, my lips but then he has Fred's bone structure, eye shape, eyebrows and obviously his hair colour.

The whole Weasley family came by earlier to see our little son. They were all thrilled, absolutely in love with him. _Especially_ Arthur when he found out Nick's middle name was _his_ name.

George hadn't left again. He was here and he was staring at his new nephew, just as much in love as the rest of us.

"It'll be so fun to play pranks on that little boy when he grows up." George said, causing Fred and I to both look at him.

"Don't you dare go near my son." Fred said in defence. "If you do, I'll plant fireworks in your bed when you're asleep and I'll blow you into pieces."

I smiled. I loved how protective Fred was. How much he loved baby Nick.

"I was _joking,_ Freddie." George said and held up his hands in surrender. "Don't worry. I'll be the fun uncle but I won't play pranks on him until he's at least ten."

"George!" Fred warned him.

"What? Do you think he'll turn up to be a little boy who doesn't understand fun?" George asked. "Look at who his dad is and then look at his uncle. _Me,_ not Percy. If he turns out to be as _fun_ as Percy, I'm quitting life."

**March 20th of 1998**

"Looks like he's sleeping." Fred said after checking in Nick who was laying in his crib next to our bed. "What're you reading?"

He crawled into bed with me, sitting next to me against the headboard. I showed him the book and he smiled when he saw which one it was.

"I remember when you told me you really wanted to own that one." He said. "Still think you're insane."

"It's a good book!" I argued. "It's not like I agree with the fact that a grown man falls in love with a twelve-year-old girl but in the end she gets to live a life without him. That's the good part."

Fred hummed and placed his hand on my thigh, patting it gently, before he leaned his head back and closed his eyes. We were both really exhausted with a newborn baby so I didn't blame him for wanting to close his eyes for a bit. We didn't get much sleep and I hated closing my eyes because I was always scared that something would happen to Nick. I was really paranoid about it but the healer said that's normal to new mums.

George has been helping as much as possible while trying to run the shop on his own. He told Fred to take some time off to focus on parenthood.

We had to wait about a month until we could take Nick out of the home so once it was time, either Fred or I could carry him on our stomachs with the baby wrap.

"Fred?" I asked softly, leaning my head on his shoulder while continuing to read my book. He hummed faintly in response. "I love you."

**April 2nd of 1998**

"I am so exhausted." I mumbled as Fred hugged me from behind and gave my cheek a kiss.

"Then stop looking at this, babe." Fred said and snatched the newspaper from the table.

"Fred!" I exclaimed and looked at him as he curled the newspaper. "Fred, give that back to me!"

He sighed and turned towards me.

"I'm doing this to help you, darling. You've been collecting all of these newspapers since they disappeared. It's not healthy and I'm sorry to tell you this, but they're not coming back."

I leaned back in the chair, looking down at the table where the newspaper had just laid.

"Fred, c'mon." George sighed as he rocked Nick in his arms, from side to side. "Give her a break. It's only been nine months."

"And the Aurors haven't got _one_ lead." Fred said. "They're not coming back."

"Fred!" George raised his voice as much as allowed due to his nephew trying to sleep in his arms.

"No, it's okay." I said. "I get where he's coming from. He thinks they're dead."

"What?" Fred frowned. "I didn't say that. Jules- that's not what I'm saying."

"It's okay." I assured him. "You're right. They probably _are_ dead, but I just can't allow myself to think like that. I lost Nick and now the rest of my friends are gone too. Basically, the only two people who never left me, are you two... hopefully baby Nick won't leave either when he grows up and gets to know me."


	99. Chapter 99

**July 28th of 1998**

Crying filled the room, waking both Fred and I from our sleep. Fred groaned and reached out to swat my arm.

"Your turn." He mumbled before he rolled over and pulled his pillow out from under his head to cover his head and drown out the sound.

I sat up with a sigh, rubbing my eyes as I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, standing up.

Fred and I took turns during the night whenever Nick would cry. Our baby was four months and two weeks old — his eyes were brown like mine. His colour had already settled.

I walked around the bed to the crib where it stood on Fred's side. I cooed at Nick as I reached into the crib and lifted him up into my arms.

"Hi baby." I whispered, having him lie against my shoulder while I rocked him to get him to calm down while I walked back to my side of the end to sit down. He needed feeding. When Nick latched on, he stopped crying and ate happily.

I looked back at Fred to see him rearrange his pillow so he laid on it again, his eyes closed while he yawned.

"You're a good mum." He mumbled, reaching out to touch my back. I smiled softly at how adorable he looked, before I looked down at Nick in my arms.

His brown eyes were open, staring up at me as he ate. I brushed my knuckles over his cheekbone, smiling at how beautiful my son looked.

I loved him more than anything. I never knew such love existed and in the four months of Nick's life, I had found myself wondering if my parents ever felt this way when they were holding me in their arms.

I will _never_ be like my parents. I'll take care of my son. I'll raise him to be a good person, I'll raise him with love and kindness and he'll have the childhood I didn't have.

**August 2nd of 1998**

"Look at you!" Fred cooed, holding out son up into the air to look at him while Nick's laughter filled the flat as he stuck his fingers into his mouth. "You look just like your dad, don't you?"

He placed our son on his hip, his head resting against his shoulder. Fred placed his hand against our son's head to support him. He cried just minutes ago but he always laughs when he gets lifted into the air.

"I wonder if he'll be able to know the difference between you and George while growing up." I said. "You look almost identical."

"Almost?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "I mean— I've always known the difference. Maybe not right away but since we got to know each other. You don't look completely identical anymore. Your face is softer put together, though your personality is rougher."

Fred raised his eyebrows as he leaned his head on top of Nick's.

"No one's ever put it like that." He said as he smirked. "Does that mean I'm the better twin?"

I chuckled and leaned back on the sofa, crossing one leg over the other.

"I'm dating you for a reason, aren't I?"

He gasped enthusiastically before he walked over and leaned down, holding Nick against his shoulder as he pressed a kiss to my lips.

"I'm so gonna tell George you said that."

"No you won't!"

"Yes, I will." He laughed. "Because this is the first time you ever agreed with me. I'm the better twin. I rock, George sucks."

"Give me my son." I glared at Fred and he chuckled as he carefully handed me Nick. I lifted him into the air, making him laugh before I brought him down so I could smother him in kisses. I turned him around in my lap, holding him as I pressed another kiss to his head. I looked up at my boyfriend. "He really do look like you. I love that."

**January 14th of 1999**

"You think he'll walk soon?" George asked as I supported Nick by placing a hand against his back. Lately he had be pulling himself up to stand, holding onto the sofa for support. He then bounce a lot while giggling, and the sound melted my heart as always.

"Maybe." I said. "I mean— he's ten months old and he can crawl— and stand with support."

George walked over to sit on the sofa next to where I sat on the floor, making sure my son didn't fall.

Nick had these giggles that turned into small shrieks and it always made everyone so happy, because it was the cutest thing ever.

Right now, he was wearing his Weasley jumper that Molly had knitted him. She knitted a new one for each month he was alive, because he keeps growing so much. It has his initial on the front and he looks adorable with it on.

"I don't believe I ever thanked you." George said, making me look at him.

"For what?"

"For giving me a nephew." He smiled as he looked at Nick. "He's the best one I could ask for."

Nick moved alongside the sofa and reached me, then held onto me instead, grabbing my shirt with his closed fists as he used me to climb onto the sofa. I helped him and he then crawled to George.

"Dada." His tiny voice came out, causing me to laugh along with George who received Nick's hug.

"Did he just—" Fred's voice appeared by the door. "... _again?"_

"Hi, love." I smiled at my boyfriend who kicked off his shoes and hung his jacket on the wall. "To his defence, you two are identical. He's not even a year old. He doesn't know the whole concept of identical twins. Or... _twins_ for that sake. I don't even think he knows the concept of siblings. He knows his parents and he recognises people."

Fred pouted and walked over to lean over the back of the sofa, holding out his hands towards Nick.

Our son looked up at him and his eyes lit up.

"Dada!" He repeated as Fred lifted him into his arms.

"See?" I smiled. "He sees the same face on you both. He thinks you're both his dad, but when he grows up, he'll learn to know the difference and he'll call George his uncle."

Nick is definitely a daddy's boy. When he's crying, it's always Fred he reaches out for and he also learned to say ' _dada'_ before _'mama',_ though it's alright. My son obviously loves me too and I love the special bond that Fred and Nick have with each other.

"Oh, I went and got the newest Daily Prophet paper today if you want to read it." Fred told me. "It's in the pocket of my jacket."

"Great." I breathed as I pulled myself up to stand before walking over to the rag on the wall. A rolled up newspaper stuck out of his jacket and after pulling it out of the pocket, I walked back towards the living area while unrolling the paper.

My eyes scanned the front page, and I stopped in my tracks as my heart dropped.

On the front page, was four mugshots with very familiar faces. I suddenly felt dizzy as I stumbled towards the sofa to sit down.

"Jules?" Fred questioned as he stood there with Nick on his hip. "Babe, what's wrong?"

The first mugshot was Nate. Next to him was Melba, under Nate was Seth and under Melba was Callie. They didn't look happy and Callie was crying. All the pictures were moving. Nate looked scared as he stared into the camera, then turned around to show his side profile.

Melba's face didn't show at expression. She stared into the camera with cold and bored eyes before turning to her side as well. It wasn't because she didn't feel anything. Being cold had always been her way of coping. She hated showing feelings.

Seth's face showed fright as well as he mimicked the actions of turning to his side.

Then there was Callie. She was a wreck, crying her eyes out, her lips trembling.

"They found them." I muttered, looking up at Fred, then at George. I looked down at the newspaper again to read the headline. "Nathanial Twig, Melbourne Striker, Seth Doe and Calliope Dendron finally found after hiding in Mexico."

I gulped as I started reading the lower case sentences.

"The four friends were found in Mexico this Tuesday, hiding after they together killed Adrian Pucey in July of nineteen-ninety-seven. It is believed that Twig committed the murder, Striker was present and Doe and Dendron helped them get rid of the body. The four will be trialed this Friday in the Ministry's courtroom."

I stared at the picture again, folding the newspaper before I threw it on the coffee table. The room was suddenly very quiet apart from Nick's laughs and giggled while he kept hitting Fred in the face.

I took a deep breath to not cry as I looked at George, then up at Fred.

"That's tomorrow."

**January 15th of 1999**

When I saw my friends in that courtroom, I started crying. Molly was babysitting Nick so I sat here with Fred and George.

My friends all sat together down on the floor and when they saw me, Callie especially started crying.

I hadn't seen them for eighteen months, and here they were, and the fact they were gonna get trialed. I knew what the worst sentence was, and I was fucking scared that just one of them were gonna get that.

I sat between Fred and George, Fred holding my hand tightly. I barely listened to what the minister said. All I could focus on what my four friends who sat next to each other, all cuffed to each of their chairs.

This was too hard. I couldn't stop crying, but it was a silent cry. No sound came from me, but it was like I could hear my heart breaking.

Callie was pregnant. It was clear when I looked at her. She was pregnant, maybe halfways through, maybe more.

They all looked so good, considering the circumstances and I had missed them so much but it's not like I was gonna be able to see them anymore — not if they were going to Azkaban.

Then the sentencing came. One by one. He sentenced them one by one, and it was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. The fright I felt, the fear of what they were each gonna get.

I just wanted everything to go back to normal. I wish they'd never left, I wish they had never killed Pucey.

"Seth Doe." The minister spoke. "Fifteen years in Azkaban."

I clamped a hand over my mouth, closing my eyes for a moment as I let out a sob.

"Calliope Striker... fifteen years in Azkaban."

I inhaled sharply, tightening my grip on Fred's hand. He let go of my hand to wrap his arm around me but gave me his other hand to hold and squeeze.

"Melbourne Striker... life in Azkaban."

I let out another sob, squeezing my eyes shot at the thought of never getting to see Melba again unless I visited her in Azkaban.

"Nathaniel Twig..." the minister spoke, earning my full attention. I took a deep breath and saw the minister's eyes flick to Nate. "... will receive the dementors kiss tomorrow, for the murder of Adrian Pucey."

He banged his hammer down to legalise the sentences and I felt my heart drop to the bottom of my body. I didn't know how to react.

Callie started screaming. She screamed in pain, trying to get out of the cuffs so she could hug Nate, but they were sat at each their ends of the row of chairs.

I let go of Fred's hand and covered my mouth and nose with both hands.

_This isn't happening._

"Family and friends will be able to visit Twig after this trial in the waiting room, so say their final goodbyes." The minister said before he stood up and left. Guards appeared and led Melba, Callie and Seth out, but Callie was struggling against them, trying to scream and reach for Nate who just hung his head low.

When the three had been led out of the room, a guard then approached Nate who looked up towards me. Our eyes met, he was crying and he shook his head at me to tell me he was sorry.

Then my cries came out louder and my entire body was shaking. As soon as he was led out into the waiting room, I rushed up and nearly ran out there.

I stopped in my tracks, and I looked at him. He looked back at me and while the guard stood behind him, I ran up and threw my arms around my friends.

"Why did you do it?" I cried into his shoulder. He couldn't hug me back due to the handcuffs, but he let me hug me as we both cried. "Why did you have to do that, Nate?!"

"I'm sorry." He sobbed. "It was an accident. My anger exploded and— please, Jules... you have to take me and Callie's baby when she gives birth in a few months. Don't let them give our baby to someone else. It has to be you."

I pulled back to look at him.

"It's a girl." He told me. "And we've already made a will that says the baby goes to you and Fred if anything happens. I know I can't just do this, but our baby can't land with a stranger."

"Fuck." I cursed. "Yes, of course we'll take her. I can't believe this is happening. Nate what the fuck. This isn't how it was supposed to go!"

Nate shook his head and inhaled sharply to hold back his sobs, but then they just came pouring out.

"I'm so fucking sorry about all of this, Jules." He said. "We uh— Seth has something to tell you. Visit him one of the days, alright? It's important and it'll explain a lot."

I didn't understand this. I didn't understand how or why this was all happening. It started off by us losing a friend, and now I was losing them all.

"We want our daughter to be named Olivia." Nate told me, trying to stop his crying. "After Callie's mum, y'know? Please do that for us."

"O-Of course." I stuttered, wrapping my arms around myself. "I don't want to say goodbye. Nate, I don't want you to die."

"I know." He said in a whisper. I threw my arms around him again, hugging him tightly before the guard started ripping him out of my arms. "Stop! Stop it! Don't fucking—"

I felt Fred's presence as he wrapped an arm around me while Nate was dragged towards the exit of the room.

"Take care Jules!" Nate called. "Of yourself, of your baby, of my baby... and make sure to visit them in Azkaban. Make sure Callie doesn't break. I don't want her to live the rest of her life broken. Please promise me!"

"I promise." I cried. " _Fuck..._ Nate!"

The guard sighed and let Nate stop by the door so he could hear what I had to say.

"I uh— we named our son after Nick." I told him. "Nick Arthur Weasley."

A small smile spread on his lips, through the tears showed in his eyes.

"He would've loved that." He told me, before he looked at Fred. "Weasley, take good care of my best friend."

**_//NARRATOR//_ **

And with those words, the guard dragged Nathaniel Alastair Twig out of the waiting room, and Julie Evangeline Pegas never saw the boy again.

The very next day, Nate had his soul sucked out by the dementors. A fate that's known to be worse than death.

Julie grieved. She grieved all of her friends, both the ones who had died and the ones left in Azkaban. But while she grieved, she still cared for her son. She tried her best, even on the days she couldn't get out of bed.

Callie, Melba and Seth sat in Azkaban, having their own cells. Callie never recovered the loss of her love. She lived the rest of her life, grieving Nathaniel. When she gave birth to their daughter on April 2nd of 1999, she didn't get the chance to name her, but Julie and Fred who happily agreed to raise her as their uncle and aunt, named her Olivia like Nate and Callie wanted.

Olivia Nathaniel Dendron-Twig. Olivia after Callie's mother. Nathaniel after the girls father even though it's not commonly used on girls, and the she had both of her parents surnames.

Julie and Fred eventually bought their own house not far from the shop so they didn't get too far away from George. They raised their son, they raised Olivia, letting her know who her parents were, told her stories. Eventually Julie and Fred had two more kids of their own. Another boy named Nate, because even though Olivia had his name in her, Julie still wanted her middle child to have a piece of one of the most important people in her life.

Nate Vincent Weasley. That was the name of Julie and Fred's second-born. Fred was the one to choose the middle name. He thought it was cute and fitted the little boy.

When Nick was seven and Nate was two, the couple got married and had a little daughter who was their last child. Fred chose her full name.

Madison Molly Weasley.

In 2014, 15 years after the arrest of Julie's four friends, Calliope Cheyenne Dendron and Seth Ackley Doe, were released from Azkaban and came to live with Julie and Fred until they could find their own places.

Callie got a relationship to her daughter but Olivia stayed in custody of Julie and Fred while still getting to know her biological mother.

Though life moved on, the four remaining friends never did. They never moved on from their lives in school. It may have seemed like it, but they couldn't move on. They lost two important people in their lives and they tried to move on by thinking of the memories, but truth is— they couldn't move on, they simply learned how to live through every day without breaking.

-

 **Nick Crane**  
 _Sleeping peacefully_  
✞ _1978 - 1996_ ✞

 **Nathaniel Alastair Twig**  
 _Loving son, brother, friend and boyfriend_  
✞ _1978 - 1999_ ✞

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> I know it was quite a sad ending but it felt right for this story.


End file.
